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How To Choose A Vibrator

Choosing a vibrator is a very personal thing and what works for one woman, whether in shape, size, feel or even colour, may not work for the next.

With so many different styles of vibrators, let alone different materials and settings, we know it can feel a bit overwhelming trying to choose a vibrator, especially if it's your first vibrator and have no idea what to look for...

So we've put together a simple guide, covering the basics for those starting out on their journey of vibrator discovery.

The 1st question to ask yourself is; 'What do I want my vibrator mostly for...?

This is the most important starting point. Like a zen diagram, from here you'll be able to whittle down or open up your possibilities...

It's easy to get distracted by a pretty vibe but if it's not designed to stimulate the bits of you, or your partner, that you would like to thrill, then it may not be the right toy for you. Just like the other kind of DIY ;) finding the tool for the job is a good starting point.

The good news is that many vibrating toys can be pressed into action to stimulate lots of erogenous zones and are pretty versatile. Others, though, are ergonomically designed for a specific kind of stimulation and it's these toys you need to look to, if you are looking for that kind of pleasure.

I'm looking for external/ clitoral pleasure - Which vibrator should I choose?

Clitoral vibrators are specially shaped to pleasure externally Clitoral vibrators are specially shaped to pleasure externally

Did you know that for solo sessions (aka masturbation) most women (around 80%) play with their vibe on the outside only,  using it externally to pleasure their clitoris and vulva?

This is because most women need ( and enjoy!) clitoral stimulation to orgasm and clitoral O's are the most common type of female orgasm.

If you've never had an orgasm or find them a bit hit-or-miss, we recommend the first type vibrator you choose should be for exploring clitoral pleasure.

We've selected our range of clitoral vibrators because they're brilliantly shaped  or particularly fab at delivering external clitoral stimulation.

But the good news is that whatever their size or shape, ALL vibrators, can be used to pleasure your clitoris so feel free to choose ANY vibe, from any category, that catches your eye. Just because a vibrator is shaped for penetration, it doesn't mean you have to use it that way...

Any toy that vibrates, whether pebble-shaped or 6 inches long, can be held against the external clitoral and vulval areas to tease these highly responsive spots.

So, if clitoral pleasure/orgasm is your goal, you have the choice of every vibrator we carry - Lucky you!

We've written more about how to choose a clitoral vibrator and how to use one  and we have a whole section giving advice about the clitoris so if you'd like to read more - head over there...

Small clitoral vibrators, the kind that are designed to lay-on the clitoral/vulval area, have the added advantage of being a good toy for introducing a vibrating toy to sex play with your partner, as they are not intimidating and, because they are not shaped for penetration, there can be no hurt feelings or bruised egos..

 

 

I'd like a vibrator for internal or G-Spot pleasure...

A toy with a curved and/or bulbous head can find the G Spot more easily A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous head can find the G Spot more easily than a straight one...

If you're looking to buy a vibrator for vaginal stimulation, including G-Spot play, choosing the right shape and size IS important.

Width is the vital statistic to get right as a toy that is too wide can feel more uncomfortable that pleasurable.

Length is less important as you can always control how deep inside it goes.

The best way to determine what's a comfortable width for you is to experiment with fingers first; either your own or your lover's. Don't go in cold, though, as arousal is absolutely key to penetrative and G-Spot pleasure As you get really turned-on, blood-flow rushes to the area, your vagina balloons and your G-Spot swells, making everything more responsive to pleasure.

For most women this means at least 20 minutes of non-penetrative pleasure;  kissing, licking and teasing touches of nipples, lips ( upper and lower!) and clitoris; stroking thighs, squeezing buttocks tickling toes - whatever combination works for you and for however long you want it ( 20 minutes is only an average - many women will want, need and desire much longer...)

(BTW whilst 'foreplay' is the given term for the above, it isn't one we like to use because it suggests that everything has to lead-up to, and end in intercourse, which isn't the case and often doesn't do women any orgasmic favours)

So, once you are well and truly turned-on ( and only if / when your body is crying out for something inside) delve into your vagina with fingers; Is one finger enough? Two? Three? More...?

Some women enjoy the feeling of 'stretching',  whilst for others it can be a sudden halt to arousal and feel too overwhelming to be enjoyable, so the important thing to remember is that there are NO rules or expectations, only what feels good for you.

After your session measure around the finger(s) that proved satisfying, form it into a circle and then measure across - this will give you the diameter of a comfortable toy for you. We measure the width of all our toys in diameter (as this is the easiest to imagine) and always at their widest point.

One of the most common questions we're asked in-store is will a G-Spot vibrator find my G-Spot? Sorry, but the answer to that is there are, and can never be, any guarantees. How a woman responds to any kind of pleasure is unique to her. We're not robots with guaranteed pleasure buttons and that's something to be celebrated!

Look at smooth, classic vibrators, as well as specially curved G Spot vibes, as both ranges have been chosen for being the best at delivering internal/G-Spot pleasure, and remember that you don't have to use them internally - they are simply shaped that way to give you the option...

I'd like a vibrator to pleasure both inside AND out - Which is the best choice for that?

A Rabbit Style vibrator features a shaft for penetration and an external arm to stimulate the clitoris A Rabbit Style vibrator features a shaft for penetration and an external arm to stimulate the clitoris

For clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time, your best vibrator-choice is definitely a rabbit-style vibrator.

Featuring a shaft for internal pleasure and a vibrating clitoral stimulator, rabbit vibrators offer amazing dual stimulation, inside and out.

It's the world's most famous vibrator because it offers simultaneous pleasure that can lead to a 'blended orgasm'. This kind of orgasm, exactly as the name suggests, is a heady mix of climatic pleasure that appears to come from both inside and out; a blend of clitoral and g-spot orgasms all at the same time!

 

Rabbit vibrators have given more women more pleasure and more orgasms than any other style of vibrator and we have a wealth of rabbit vibrator advice, from how to choose a rabbit vibrator and how to use your rabbit, right through to sex tips and tricks to get the most out of your rabbit, so head over here for more info...

One of the more surprising things we've learnt from chatting to women at our store is how many of tell us 'it's ALL about the bunnies ears!' - it seems a LOT of women don't always ( or ever) use the shaft portion of their rabbit vibes. A dual-stimulation vibe may seem to be the 'bells and whistles' of the vibrator-world, but actually lots of women enjoy purely clitoral stimulation from theirs.

So, when choosing a vibrator for masturbation, these are your 3 main choices; A toy for external/clitoral pleasure; One for internal/G-spot stimulation; One that does both!

Choosing an anal vibrator is a different story, as safety is very important...

Any sex toy for anal pleasure whether it vibrates or not, must be shaped in such a way that it cannot slip inside and get lost. It's always best to buy a dedicated anal vibrator or prostate massageras they have been specially designed as sex toys for safe anal play, and, whilst many can be sterilized, we recommend it's best for hygiene reasons, to keep any/all anal toys dedicated solely to backdoor play.

 

 

I can't orgasm during intercouse with my partner - is there a vibrator for that?  

An intercourse vibrator is designed to be worn by the woman, and enjoyed by both partners... An intercourse vibrator is designed to be worn by the woman, and enjoyed by both partners...

A vibrating cock ring is worn on his penis & delivers clitoral stimulation during sex A vibrating cock ring is worn on his penis & delivers clitoral stimulation during sex

You're not alone! In fact the vast majority of women ( around 70% of us) find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone, needing added clitoral stimulation during intercourse to climax.

So, for adding a buzz during sex with your partner, take a look at vibrators for intercourse and cock rings that vibrate - both are specially designed to be worn by one partner during penetrative sex with their partner.

A vibrating cock-ring is worn by the man ( you don't say!) at the base of his penis, with the bullet positioned so that it stimulates your clitoris during sex.

Intercourse vibrators, such as the world-famous, million-selling We-Vibe, are specially shaped for the women to wear; with the larger pad externally stimulating her clitoris, with the smaller pad nestling against her G-Spot, whilst still leaving room for her partner to slip inside, where they too will feel the vibrating stimulation.

Vibrating cock-rings are a cheaper option to add thrills, whilst intercourse vibes are quite an investment. We're not all 'one-size', so whether they work for you can be quite a leap of faith...

Remember, too that any lay-on clitoral vibrator as well as bullet and egg vibes are discreet enough to add an extra buzz to intercouse, without getting in the way...

 

The next vibrator-choices are quite practical...

Once you've decided on what kind of pleasure you'd like your vibrator mostly for, the next things to consider are the practicals of your toy.  How would you like it to feel - Do you want it to feel soft and squishy or prefer something hard and sleek?

Do you think you'd enjoy an intense buzz or prefer something gentler? Is size important?

Vibrator Material:

Concerned by chemicals? Don't worry. We won't stock sex toys that contain phthalates ( a potentially dangerous chemical softener found in PVC/  Jelly Toys)

All our vibrators are safe, but they come in a range of materials which bring different qualities to the toy; check our guides to sex toy materials to discover the pros & cons of each.

Briefly, a hard plastic vibrator is usually more powerful (and less quiet) as vibration isn't absorbed by the material. Nor will it absorb any lubricant or your natural juices, which makes it feel strong and sleek.

Softer vibrators made from Elastomer will feel less intense as the soft material absorbs some vibration (as well some sound and lubrication) but these kind of vibrators generally feel more user-friendly...

A silicone vibrator is probably the best you can buy. Silicone is safe, soft and transmits vibration well, whilst keeping noise transference to a minimum.

Vibrator Intensity:

Secret Vibrator £35 Secret Vibrator £35

We know this is difficult - if you don't have any experience with vibrators, how on earth do you decide what kind of vibrator intensity you will prefer!

The best way is to think about the kind of manual stimulation you prefer; is it a soft, gentle touch or do you need firm/intense stimulation to orgasm?

Most vibrators offer various speeds (often with escalating & pulse options) but if you've never had an orgasm, find orgasms illusive or feel like you take "too long",  we'd advise you choose a vibrator that is rated 'Strong' or 'Wowser', such as the Secret Vibe or Sh! Bullet.

For a super-sensitive clitoris,  look for a 'Very Gentle' or 'Mild' rating, such as the Flexi Wand vibrator.

On top speed, we assess each vibrators  and give them an intensity-rating of:

  1. Gentle
  2. Mild
  3. Strong
  4. Wowser- High Intense
  5. Wowser - Deep Throbby

Remember, a vibrator that feels too strong can always be toned-down by using it through your knickers or a piece of material, so if you have any doubts, we recommend a stronger intensity vibe over one that offers a gentle or mild vibe.

Vibrator Volume:

Everyone wants a totally silent vibe but unfortunately they don't exist.  A vibrator has a motor & will always make some sound, however low.

You may need to forfeit power/functions for a really quiet or almost silent vibrator.

On top speed, we measure each vibrator with a sound meter and give them vibrator volume of;

  1. Extra Quiet / Almost Silent
  2. Quiet
  3. Medium
  4. Audible- But Worth It!

Size:

We measure toys 'Actual Length' (full length of vibrator/sex toy - including battery case if its integral), and 'Playable Length' (insertable bit).

Remember, just because a vibrator looks like it's designed to go inside, it doesn't mean you have to play with it like that!

If you do want a vibrator for penetration, you can always control how far to insert it, but one that's too wide will always feel uncomfortable.

To assess the right fit, think how many fingers feel good for you.

It's probably best to buy a vibe that's a similar width, rather than being overwelmed by a vibrators girth and never getting it our to play.

If you are uneasy about penetration, start with a  slim vibrator and work your way up. Whilst browsing, have a ruler handy to give you an idea how long/wide a toy will be.

We list all important info such as vibrator material, dimensions, intensity, sound, as well as whether it is rechargeable or takes batteries etc on each product page.

Style:

Desire Desire Vibrator £49

For most of us, how something looks is important. If it's unattractive to you, a new vibrator may not be played with very often. Take a long, lusty look at each vibe and try to visualize playing it before you buy.

Each toy at Sh! is chosen because it's good-looking, as well as practical and good quality, whatever it's price range, but for top style, take a look at our luxury vibrators

How Your Vibe is Powered

Rechargeable or battery-powered? Each has it's advantages.

A rechargeable vibrator is the greener alternative and means you're not a slave to batteries  - no more raiding the TV remote-control of it's batteries in the middle of the night!

But you do have to have access to a plug or USB port to fire up your vibe when it runs out of steam.

And you do have to forward-think/be organised. If you haven't kept your vibe charged up, there'll be a frustrating wait to use it...

Battery-powered vibrators, so long as you have batteries, can give you  instant gratification.

And battery-powered (so long as you have batteries!) toys can travel anywhere.

We hope this has helped whittle down which may be the best vibrator choice for you.

Remember, though, we're here to give expert, tailored advice, whether in our London store, on the phone or by email, so do feel free to visit /contact us, if you'd like more help or some personalised recommendations - we're really friendly, non-scary and unembarassable, we promise!



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