Choosing a vibrator is a very personal thing. What works for one person, whether in shape, size, feel, or even colour, may not work for the next.
With so many different designs, materials and settings, it can feel overwhelming trying to choose, especially if it's your first vibrator. We've put together a simple guide covering the basics for those looking to treat themselves to something thrilling.
The first question to ask yourself is: What do I want my vibrator for?
The answer is perhaps obvious (orgasms!), but this is a starting point. Like a Venn diagram, you'll be able to whittle down or open your possibilities.
It's easy to get distracted by pretty-looking vibrators, but if it's not designed to stimulate the bits you'd like to thrill, it's not the right toy for you. Just like any DIY, finding the right tool for the job is important :)
The good news is that most vibrating toys are versatile and can be used to stimulate erogenous zones. Some sex toys, though, are designed for a specific kind of stimulation (like G-spot vibrators, for example). Read on to figure out what type of toy you might be looking for.
I'm looking for clitoral pleasure - which vibrator should I choose?
Did you know that for solo sessions, most women and vulva owners (around 75%) play with their vibe externally only, using it to pleasure their clitoris and vulva? This is because most of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
If you've never had an orgasm or find them a bit hit-or-miss, we recommend that the first type of vibrator you choose is for exploring clitoral pleasure. We've selected our range of clitoral vibrators because they're brilliantly shaped or particularly fabulous at delivering external clitoral stimulation.
The good news is that whatever their size or shape, all vibrators can be used to pleasure your clitoris. This means you can choose any vibe, from any category, that catches your eye. Just because a vibrator is shaped for penetration doesn't mean you have to use it that way.
Any toy that vibrates can be held against the external clitoral and vulval areas to tease these highly responsive spots. If clitoral pleasure and orgasm are your goal, you have the choice of every vibrator we carry - lucky you!
We've written more about how to choose a clitoral vibrator and how to use one, and we have a whole section advising about the clitoris.
Small clitoral vibrators, the kind that are designed to lie on the vulva, have the added advantage of being a good toy for introducing a vibrating toy to sex play with your partner. These toys are friendly and not intimidating. They aren't shaped for penetration, so unlikely to bruise a partner's ego.
I'd like a vibrator for internal or G-spot pleasure.
A quick note on the G-spot: The area we refer to as the 'G-spot' is believed to be part of the bigger internal structure of the clitoris rather than a body part on its own.
If you're looking to buy a vibrator for vaginal stimulation, including G-spot play, choosing the right shape and size is important. Width is vital to get right, as a toy that is too wide will feel more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Length is generally less important, as you can always control how deep inside it goes.
The best way to determine what's a comfortable width for you is to experiment with fingers first, either your own or a partner's. Don't go in cold, though, as arousal is key to G-spot pleasure. As you get turned on, blood flow rushes to the area. This encourages your vagina to balloon open, and your G-spot swells. Everything is more responsive to pleasure.
For most vulva-owners, this means at least 20 minutes of non-penetrative pleasure; kissing, licking and teasing touches of nipples, lips (upper and lower) and clitoris; stroking thighs, squeezing buttocks, tickling toes - whatever floats your boat and for however long you want it (20 minutes is a very rough estimate - many women will want, need and desire much longer before anything is dipped inside).
BTW, whilst 'foreplay' is the given term for the above, it isn't one we like to use because it suggests that everything has to lead up to and end in intercourse, which isn't the case and often doesn't do vulva-owners any orgasmic favours!
Once you are well and truly turned on and your body wants something inside to squeeze against, it's time to slip fingers into your vagina. Is one finger enough? Maybe you want two? How about three? More? Some women enjoy the feeling of 'stretching', whilst for others, it can be a sudden halt to arousal and feel too overwhelming to be enjoyable. The important thing to remember is that there are no rules or expectations, only what feels good for you.
After your session measure around the finger(s) that proved satisfying, form it into a circle, and then measure across - this will give you the diameter of a comfortable toy for you. We measure the width of all our toys in diameter (as this is the easiest to imagine) and always at their widest point.
One of the most common questions we're asked is, will a G-spot vibrator find my G-spot? We're sorry to disappoint, but the answer is that there are no guarantees. How a person responds to pleasure is unique to them.
Look at smooth classic vibrators, as well as specially curved G-spot vibes, as both ranges have been chosen for being the best at delivering internal and G-spot pleasure. Remember that you don't have to use them internally - they have been designed that way to give you the option.
I'd like a vibrator to pleasure both inside and out - which is the best choice for that?
For clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time, your best vibrator choice is a rabbit-style vibrator. Featuring a shaft for internal pleasure and a vibrating clitoral stimulator, rabbit vibrators offer amazing dual stimulation, inside and out.
Rabbits are the world's most famous vibrators because they offer a simultaneous pleasure that can lead to a blended orgasm. This kind of orgasm is a heady mix of climactic pleasure that appears to come from both inside and out; a blend of simultaneous clitoral and G-spot orgasms!
Rabbit vibrators have given more women more pleasure and more orgasms than any other style of vibrator. We have a wealth of rabbit vibrator advice from how to choose a rabbit vibrator and how to use your rabbit, right through to sex tips and tricks to get the most out of your rabbit.
One of the more surprising things we've learned from chatting to women is how many tell us 'it's all about the bunny's ears!' It seems many women choose not to use the shaft portion of their rabbit vibes. A dual-stimulation vibe may seem to be the bells & whistles of the vibrator world, but lots of women enjoy purely clitoral stimulation from theirs.
Choosing an anal vibrator
Any sex toy for anal pleasure, whether it vibrates or not, must be shaped in such a way that it cannot slip inside and get lost. This means it needs to have a handle or a flared base to ensure you can always hold on to it. We've heard many horror stories from friends and customers who have improvised with unsafe toys. More often than not, a lost toy means a trip to A&E...
It's always best to buy a dedicated anal vibrator or prostate massager as they have been specially designed as sex toys for safe anal play. Whilst many toys can be sterilised, we recommend keeping all your anal toys dedicated solely to backdoor play for hygiene reasons (or cover them with a condom).
I can't orgasm during intercourse with my partner - is there a vibrator for that?
You're not alone. In fact, the vast majority of vulva-owners (around 70% of us) find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone. Most of us need clitoral stimulation during intercourse to climax.
So, for adding a buzz during sex with your partner, take a look at vibrators for intercourse and cock rings that vibrate - both are specially designed to be worn by one partner during penetrative sex with their partner.
A vibrating cock-ring is worn by the penis-owner at the base of the penis, with the bullet positioned so that it stimulates the vulva-owner's clitoris during penetration.
Intercourse vibrators, such as We-Vibe, are specially shaped for women to wear. The larger pad externally stimulates the clitoris and the smaller pad nestling against the G-spot, while still leaving room for a penis (or dildo) to slip inside.
Vibrating cock rings are a cheaper option to add thrills, whilst intercourse vibes are quite an investment. We're not all one-size, so whether they work for you can be quite a leap of faith.
Any lay-on clitoral vibrator, as well as bullet and egg vibes, are discreet enough to add an extra buzz to intercourse, without getting in the way.
The next vibrator choices are practical.
Once you've decided on what kind of pleasure you'd like your vibrator to provide, the next few things to consider are the practical aspects of your toy.
- How would you like it to feel - do you want it to feel soft and squishy, or do you think you'd prefer something hard and sleek?
- Do you think you'd enjoy an intense buzz or prefer something gentler?
- Is size important?
Vibrator Materials
Concerned about chemicals? Don't worry. We don't stock sex toys that contain phthalates (a potentially dangerous chemical softener found in PVC and jelly toys). All our vibrators are body-safe, but they come in a range of materials that bring different qualities to the toy. Check our guides to sex toy materials to discover the pros & cons of each.
Briefly, a hard plastic vibrator is usually more powerful and less quiet as vibration isn't absorbed by the material. Nor will it absorb any lubricant or your natural juices, which makes it feel strong and sleek.
Softer vibrators made from Elastomer will feel less intense as the soft material absorbs some vibration, as well as some sound and lubrication, but these kinds of vibrators generally feel more user-friendly.
A silicone vibrator is the best. Silicone is safe, soft, and transmits vibration well, whilst keeping noise transference to a minimum.
Vibrator Intensity
We know this is difficult - if you don't have any experience with vibrators, how do you decide what kind of vibrator intensity you will prefer? The best way is to think about the manual stimulation you prefer; is it a soft, gentle touch, or do you need firm and intense stimulation to orgasm?
Most vibrators offer various speeds (often with escalating & pulse options), but if you've never had an orgasm, don't orgasm easily or feel like you take 'too long,' we'd advise you choose a vibrator that is rated Strong or Wowser.
For a super-sensitive clitoris, look for a Gentle or Medium rating.
We assess each vibrator and give it an intensity rating of:
- Gentle
- Medium
- Strong
- Wowser - High Intense
- Wowser - Deep Throbby
Remember, a vibrator that feels too strong can always be toned down by using it through your knickers or a piece of material, so if you're unsure, we recommend a stronger intensity vibe over one that offers a gentle or medium buzz.
Vibrator Volume
Everyone wants a silent vibe, but unfortunately, they don't exist. A vibrator has a motor and will always make some sound, however low. If it's important for you to have a really quiet or almost silent vibrator, you may need to forfeit power and intensity.
At top speed, we measure each vibrator with a sound meter and give it a vibrator volume of:
- Quiet
- Medium
- Loud (But Worth It!)
Vibrator Size
We measure toys 'Actual Length' (full length of vibrator or sex toy, including battery case if it's integral), and 'Playable Length' (the insertable bit).
Remember, just because a vibrator looks like it's designed to go inside, it doesn't mean you have to play with it like that.
If you do want a vibrator for penetration, you can always control how far to insert it, but one that's too wide will always feel uncomfortable. To assess the right fit, think about how many fingers feel good for you. We recommend buying a toy that's a similar width, rather than going too big and feeling overwhelmed by girth.
If you feel uneasy about penetration, start with a slim vibrator and work your way up. Whilst browsing, have a ruler or measuring tape handy to give you an idea of how long and wide a toy will be.
We list all important information, such as material, dimensions, intensity, volume, as well as whether it is rechargeable or takes batteries, on each product page. You'll find this information under the tab called Technical Info
Vibrator Style
For most of us, how something looks is important. If a vibrator is unattractive to you, you may not fancy playing with it very often. Take a long, lusty look at each vibe and try to visualise playing it before you buy.
Each toy at Sh! is chosen because it's attractive, practical and of good quality, whatever the price range. For top style, take a look at our luxury vibrators.
How Your Vibe is Powered
Do you prefer rechargeable or battery-powered products? Each has its advantages.
A rechargeable vibrator is the greener alternative and means you're not a slave to batteries - no more raiding the TV remote-control of its batteries in the middle of the night. But you do need access to a plug or USB port to power up your vibe when it runs out of steam, and you have to be organised: If you haven't kept your vibe charged up, there'll be a frustrating wait to use it...
Battery-powered vibrators, as long as you have batteries, can give you instant gratification wherever you are. As long as you have spare batteries, battery-operated toys can travel anywhere.
We hope this has helped whittle down which may be the best vibrator choice for you!
