Dear Sh!
My clitoris is so sensitive it cannot be directly touched, to the annoyance of my lover! I can have vaginal orgasms but cannot masturbate in the clitoral area as it feels uncomfortable... Help!
What can I do or use to stimulate my clitoris or make it less sensitive?
Hi there,
The first thing to know is that you're not alone. Many women aren't fans of direct clitoral stimulation - it can be uncomfortable or even painful.
With 8000 nerve-endings, the clit is THE most sensitive area of any body
The clitoral glans (the external nub at the top of your inner vaginal lips) have about twice as many nerve endings as the head of the penis. But, when you compare the size of the clit to the tip of the penis, you can understand why the clitoris is so sensitive. The nerve endings are enclosed in a much smaller area.
This is one of the reasons why men and women respond to very different kinds of touch. As seem extra sensitive, ask your partner to go very slowly and sensually around your clitoris. Or show them!
No rule says your clitoris has to be touched.
This is very much a personal preference.
The hair-standing-up-on-the-back-of-the-neck sensation you can get from the anticipation of something can be far more enticing than the actual sensation.
Encourage your lover to gently ascend from erotic stroking of feet, calves, thighs, and inner thighs to kissing your lips (labia) and softly blowing on your clit.
Find your clitoris 'sweet spot'
Men often approach the clitoris as an 'easy jackpot' and pretty safe "she's bound to get turned on if I rub on this" spot. This isn't always the case. And too often porn films 'teach' the wrong kind of stimulation entirely - going at clits like they need to be 'rubbed out' Ouch!
The sweetest spots are often on the sides of the clitoris rather than directly on it.
Your out-of-bounds clitoral spots don't have to be negative things. Your lover still has the rest of your body to pleasure!
As for masturbation: The labia and your whole genital region (both inside and externally) are joined-up. If your clit is too sensitive for direct stimulation, try using a gentle vibrator around your vulva instead. You'll see how engorged and rosy your labia still become without clitoral stimulation.
Using lube will also help make touching around the clit feel softer and more sensual.
We hope this helps!
Best Wishes,
Team Sh! xx
