How To Introduce a Sex Toy into Your Relationship

 Whether a sex toy specially designed for couples, a simple vibrator or something more ‘adventurous’ like an anal or kinky toy, introducing the idea of playing with a sex toy together can be a daunting experience if you are unsure how your partner may take to the idea.


But there’s every reason to preserve.

Introducing and playing with sex toys together can add a whole new dimension to your relationship.

Toys can be great way to explore all the different kinds of pleasures you can experience together and learning this creates great building-blocks for a long and exciting sex life together.

For long-term lovers, playing with sex toys  can rekindle the  fun and spontaneity that may have become lost in the routine in daily life.

And the simple fact is that most women find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone. Sex toys, especially those that vibrate, can help.

Getting excited about playing with sex toys with your partner is stage one.

Now all you have to do is to introduce the idea in a way that excites your partner too…

If you’re confident your partner will be totally up for the idea of playing with sex toys – no problem – simply browse together and choose away!

If you’re unsure how your partner will react to the idea of playing with sex toys as a couple, here’s our advice;

The most important thing is to go gently because hurt feelings or bruised egos are real passion killers.

It’s crucial that your partner doesn’t feel  inadequate, insecure or threatened by the idea of a sex toy.

A toy may just be a toy, but you need to ensure the message behind is positive and cannot be taken as a comment on the dissatisfaction of your sex life.

Don’t whip out a sex toy in bed unless you’re 100% confident of a partner’s delighted response!

You may spark fireworks of the wholly un-erotic sort.

In bed,  or during/after sex might be the obvious place/time to have the conversation but it’s probably safer to introduce the idea away from the heat of the bedroom but still within a warm, romantic situation. like during a bath together.

Use words that involve your partner.

You want the idea of playing with sex toys to be embraced with baited breath, not dashed with accusations of your dissatisfaction of your sex life together.

A tiny change of words could make all the difference.

For instance:

‘I would love it if we played with a ………. (fill in the blank!) expresses your togetherness and how much their pleasure is vital to your enjoyment.

Whereas:  “I would love to to play with a ……………….. expresses a single-mindedness which may turn your partner off to the idea.

It’s natural to feel flustered flustered or shy at the prospect of talking about sex toys.

If you do feel nervous about starting the conversation, try nuzzling up close  to your partner and whispering your desires in their ear.

This will make you feel more confident (less voice-throwing and eye contact needed!) plus you will be so close to them that they won’t even notice your rosy glow.

Embarrassment also can cause us to yammer uncontrollably or clam up completely, neither of which will help you hear your lover’s true response; Take a relaxing sip of wine, and then a deep breath, before you sidle up to them.

Simple psychology means it’s often a very natural human response to resistant to the idea of something new, so don’t push for a yes/no answer. Simply plant the seed…

Mentioning previous sex-toy encounters is surplus to requirements!

Your excitement will be infectious and this will be your first time with them so don’t dilute it with what is history.

Relegate to past, too, any erstwhile toys that may be collecting dust under your bed. Second-hand sex toys may hold too much history for your current partner to swallow.

Don’t be too single-minded on the type of toy you want to introduce into your relationship.

Choosing the toy together makes it ‘joint-ownership’ and so most likely to be be embraced and enjoyed.

In our experience, couples often get much more than an a overflowing toy-box when choosing their toys together.

Simply browsing together opens up communication and intimacy.

We see this everyday in our London store.

Exploring all the different  sex toys available and reading about the best sex toys for couples gets partners giggling together;  firing up  their imaginations/fantasies and arousing the thrill and anticipation of what might happen…

Because Sh!  toys are sensual, playful and never graphic (we don’t stock any standard sex shop fare, like ‘realistic’ toys or ones plastered with porn-star images) non of our toys feel like a ‘replacement’ or ‘tacky’, which allows both members of the couple to really relax and explore the possibilities.

Cute Coco Massager Vibrator
Cute Coco Massager Vibrator £35
Hebe Body Massager £39
Hebe Body Massager £39


Having a ‘date’ at Sh!, whether browsing together in store or online is a sexy (but not an in-your-face!) way to discover all the toys available and to perhaps choose one together.

Buying your partner a gift of a sex toy.

If you’re pretty sure your partner is open to the idea of sex toys, then birthdays and anniversaries are a good opportunity to introduce one.

Like all birthday presents, a sex-toy gift should be all about them, not you!

So choose a toy that that you know will specifically appeal to them or one that is designed primarily for their pleasure.

You could say your gift comes in two parts; The actual toy PLUS you using it on them!

Tenga Egg (£10) make fun, cool gifts for men
Tenga Egg (£10) make fun, cool gifts for men

For men, a Tenga Egg makes a fab pressie. Designed to deliver a masturbatory treat in a cool and quirky form, you simply crack open the egg to reveal a soft, stretchy sleeve, with a stimulating interior, that slips over his manhood to deliver a totally different kind of handjob.

Love Bullet Silver Lipstick £25
Love Bullet Silver Lipstick £25

For women a stylish clitoral vibrator would be our recommendation for women who are not shy in the bedroom.

If your female partner IS shy, she may feel self-conscious about being on the receiving end of such one-way pleasure, so just giving the gift and allowing her time to explore it by herself, maybe the best way to introduce her to the thrills of vibration, away from any pressure to perform or ways to enjoy.

Lelo Noa £69 - Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time...
Lelo Noa £69 – Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time…

For anniversaries, a toy you can enjoy together would make the ideal gift. The We-Vibe or Lelo Noa are designed for couples to use during intercourse, making them great anniversary night accessories.





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