If you find reaching orgasm with your partner, or even during solo sex, is a bit hit and miss, don't despair - you are not alone.
Women's sexuality is incredibly complex, driven by what's going on in our heads as much as what's happening in our pants. The bad news is that unfortunately pressing all the right buttons may do absolutely nothing if we're feeling anxious, unsexy or preoccupied.
But the good news far out weighs the bad: women's orgasms often take a long time to build, but they can be incredibly intense when they do arrive!
Our pleasure centres include the clitoris, the U-Spot, the G-Spot and the A-Spot.
This is great news for the intensity of our orgasms and our potential to have multiple orgasms as well as different kinds of orgasms.
So what can you do to make your orgasms more sure-fire than frustrating?
Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Stimulating Gel Tester (£3)
Lubes and lotions that contain naturally occurring amino acids work by increasing blood flow to the genital area, to stimulate arousal and intensify sensations. They can really help get your clitoris or G-spot pumped up and panting for more.
We test every one of our orgasm and arousal gels, rejecting the ones that promise more than they deliver. Of course every woman is different in terms of her sensitivity, so don't view an arousal gel as a sure-fired route to orgasm but simply something extra stimulating to help get you on the road...
Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40
2. Vibrators are a woman's orgasmic friend
Rabbit Vibrators are considered to be the best, most consistently orgasm-inducing sex toy in world and certainly many women have told us they experience their first, ever orgasm with the help of a bunny friend.
Why? Mostly it's down to the two bunny ears and how well they stimulate the super-responsive sides of the clitoris rather than directly on it, which many women can find too intense to be pleasurable. If the clit was a clock-face, most women find the time around 10am to 2pm to be orgasm-hour.
Add to this the rotating beads that stimulate the very sensitive vaginal entrance and the shaft's head that, at the right angle, can sweep by the G-Spot on every rotation and its no wonder the rabbit vibrator in all her guises has given more women, more fantastic orgasms than any other vibrator in the world.
3. Move your way to more consistent orgasms
Roll Your hips for increased clitoral sensitivity; Tilt your hips forward and slide them back, or roll them round slowly in a hula-hoop motion.
Not only will this look and feel sexy to your lover, but more importantly it increases clitoral sensitivity, clit-stimulation and lubrication – three vital ingredients to getting good orgasms. Plus it gets your PC muscles going and this love muscle is key to great orgasms.
The best way to really get into your groove is to hop on top but sometimes this can feel a bit exposed. Worrying about body image will not let your body relax enough to have an orgasm. Now is not the time to give yourself a hard time about how liberated you should be, so buy yourself a sexy slip, blindfold your lover or blackout your bedroom - do whatever it takes to make yourself feel comfortable.
Women on Top £8.99
4. Let your self fantasize - it's often key to a woman's orgasm.
Because we haven't had the same access or permission as guys to view porn, most women have developed very fertile imaginations.
Fantasies can be as intricate as a feature film or as instant as a 3-minute advert.
Hone the hot images that get you really aroused and re-run them just when you need that extra something to tip you over the edge. Never try to control or censor the images or scenarios that do it for you.
Remember, fantasies are not reality so feel free to be as taboo as you like. For inspiration, browse through erotic books
Many women come to us for advice about learning how to orgasm, and along with a good clitoral vibrator and some lube, we advice them to get one of Nancy Friday's groundbreaking books of real women's sexual fantasies: My Secret Garden, Women on Top and Forbidden Flowers - they are great permission-givers to give into your fantasy and let go of your orgasm.
Sh! Silicone Love Balls £18
5. Tone & squeeze your way to better orgasms
Tone your PC muscle away from the bedroom, so it's in prime condition, and during sex or masturbation, squeeze it rhythmically. Your PC connects all your pelvic pleasure centres; your clitoris, G-Spot as well as sensitive anal area and consciously flexing it is key to consistent and strong climaxes. Love Balls can help identify and exercise your PC Muscle and a great tool to better orgasms, as well as nifty playthings in themselves.