Anal Sex Blog Post

A beginners’ guide to anal play

Anal play is one of those things that most people don’t talk about but have a quiet desire to try. It’s sort of taboo, which is a huge turn on, but it’s also something that many people love, making it curious for those who have never tried it. Is in not just painful and messy?

Well, it can be but it shouldn’t be, if that makes sense. Anal play, when done right, is intensely pleasurable and you can orgasm from it.

The trick is to take it slow and steady – it’s not a swimming pool. Don’t throw yourself into it.

Anal play requires preparation, time and lube. Lots of lube.

A common concern about anal sex is the potential for mess, so let’s start there.

The anus and rectum are designed to expel, so if you are going to play in the area, you and your partner need to be prepared for coming into contact with faeces. This is the reality of anal play.

However, there are a few ways of ensuring you get as few surprises as possible:

  • Make sure the person on the receiving end has been to the loo; this is essential and will allow you both to relax.
  • Showering together will start the erotic build-up. Soap up their bottom and rinse off – shower jets over the anus feel very sexy. Dry off gently, and kiss their buttocks.
  • Some people prefer to use douches to feel extra clean. Douches are bulbs that you fill with water and insert into the anus, before expelling the lukewarm water into your body. Using cold water will be painful, and using hot water will scald; body temperature is perfect. The water will flow out in its own time so if you are going to douche, make sure to do this a few hours before play begins.

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Lube for Anal Play

A silicone-based lube is great for skin-on-skin anal play. It’s long-lasting and won’t dry up, and typically doesn’t have any scent or taste. Add a drizzle to your fingers before stroking onto your partner’s butt.

If you’re planning on using silicone toys, or toys with a soft surface, you’ll need to stock up on water-based lube. Water-based lube will sink into the skin so you will need to re-apply, or add some saliva to reactivate lube that’s already been applied.

For extra hygiene, as well as safer sex with or without toys, you might want to get some condoms for anal sex too. If you have long or sharp nails, get some latex gloves to make them smoother – tushies are delicate and you don’t want to snag the thin membranes.

Warming Up

Just like a session at the gym, you need to warm up properly or you could do yourselves an injury.

Take the time to massage your partner’s buttocks, lower back, and upper thighs; the skin is one large erogenous zone, and kneading, touching and stroking will help get you both in the mood for more.

Using your thumbs, glide along the crease from the inner thigh to the outer side and repeat. Next, put your hands in a prayer position on your partner’s tailbone and glide up and down between the buttocks for a sensual and relaxing start to anal play.

Add a little lube to your fingertips and stroke gently around the anal rim. Explore the anal opening without penetrating it.

If you both feel comfortable with it, rimming is a fantastic way to get the anus ready and waiting. Licking, kissing and sucking on all the nerve-endings in the area may make your play partner feel like their brains are melting… Just saying.

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When your partner starts pushing back for more attention, it’s time to ramp it up a bit.

The Happy Hiney Anal Comfort Cream gently relaxes the area, which is perfect for first-timers. Containing no numbing agents, Happy Hiney delivers a tingling sensation, which helps relax tense, nervous muscles and reduce sensations of extra friction.

Note: We don’t recommend using numbing creams for any kind of sexual activity, especially not anal play. Pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong, and overriding this function can have dire consequences. 

If you’re totally new to any type of anal adventure, it’s best to start small. Our Vibrating Silicone Anal Beads are an ideal beginner’s toy as the beads start off small and gradually increase in size, so you can go at your own pace and just enjoy the delicate vibrations.

A butt plug is a small toy that gets inserted for a sensual ‘full’ feeling. Leave the plug in place so they have something to squeeze against. You can wiggle it a little, or slowly move it in and out so the anus pops open and closes again; many peeps enjoy this sensation.
Butt Plugs

Any toy used for anal sex needs to be safe for this type of play; i.e. they must have a flared base or a handle. Using unsafe toys for anal play often ends badly and we don’t want this to happen to you.

This might be as far as you go on this first occasion, but it’s plenty. You want to leave the brain thinking of anal play as something pleasurable, as that’ll make it easier for it to relax the next time.

Many couples who are embarking on anal sex for the first time are keen on getting ‘stuck in’ as soon as possible, but this is often a mistake. Rushing it makes for an uncomfortable or painful experience.

If you’ve decided to go for full penetration, you’ll still need to start as above; building it up slowly helps the body relax and welcome the penis or dildo.

The inside of the anus is a lazy S-shape, so make sure you’re familiar with your partner’s internal curves before dipping in. Visualize their insides and move to accommodate this; this is especially important if you’re using a dildo as you won’t be able to feel resistance or any dry areas.

Keep checking in with your partner. Make sure they’re having a great time, and keep the bond going by kissing and touching.

We tend to recommend the receiving partner is on top when anal play is new for you both. This gives them the freedom to rock, wiggle or just sit still if that’s what feels best. You can get all adventurous and try out different positions later when you both feel more confident.

Prostate Play

The butts of male-bodied peeps have an additional part that enjoys gentle stimulation: the prostate.

The back-door area has long been shrouded in shame and denial, especially for straight men, but we’re delighted to say that the P-spot and its pleasure potential is finally out in the open (about bloomin’ time!).

The prostate has the ability to make its owner multi-orgasmic, and this is well worth exploring. The best book on the subject, in our opinion, is The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Play by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian. It covers everything from hygiene to maintaining prostate health to illustrated tips and techniques about achieving supercharged orgasms.

The rules for stimulating a butt with a prostate are the same as the rules for stimulating a butt without a P-spot: Take your time, use lashings of lube, ensure your nails are short & smooth and make sure the person on the receiving end is having the time of their lives!

By following our advice, your bum-fun should be nothing but(t) a good time!

 

Pegging-Blog-Post

Everything you need to know about pegging before our masterclass

If you’ve never heard about pegging before, allow us to let you in on a little secret – it’s bloomin’ awesome!

For the uninitiated, pegging is when a woman penetrates a male partner’s anus with a strap-on. As a term, pegging was popularised by Dan Savage in his SavageLove column back in 2001, and it brought this sexy activity into the bedrooms of adventurous and pleasure-seeking couples all over the world.

Why would a woman want to wear a strap-on?

Pleasuring a partner with a strap-on lets you use your hands for teasing and touching other parts of your lover’s body. You can ditch boring gender roles, and taking on the role of the penetrator-slash-pleasure-giver can result in some spectacular and highly erotic play sessions for both parties. Swapping roles is hot!

Also, if you are blessed with a responsive clitoris and strong pelvic floor, you can even rock, ride and thrust your way to an orgasm whilst wearing a strap-on…

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Why would a man want something up his bum?

There are many reasons for giving pegging a go, but the pursuit of pleasure is, of course, at the top of the list. A male-bodied person has a prostate stashed away inside the rectum, and this magical walnut of a gland can offer untold pleasures when stimulated in the right way. Prostate play is intensely erotic, and orgasms are often more explosive when the P-spot is stimulated.

If you and your partner are thinking about heading down the pleasure-walk of the anal canal, there are a few things you need to think about first:

    • Communication – open, honest & ongoing.
    • Patience – slowly and gently is the only way forward when it comes to anal play.
    • Lubricant – the anus and rectum aren’t self-lubricating, so a generous dollop of anal lube is essential.
    • Building confidence – letting the receiving partner be in control ensures they only go as far and as fast as they are comfortable with, which allows you both to build up your pegging-confidence.

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Positions for Pegging

There is no magic position that can only be enjoyed when penetrated by a woman wearing a strap-on. You can enjoy any and all positions that work for you both, but we recommend letting the receiver start on top. They are in full control of how much of the dildo goes inside them, at what speed, and if they just need to sit and breathe for a few moments they can do that too…

Pegging Master Class

We meet many couples interested in trying out pegging, and whilst our friendly shop team are always on hand with help and advice, you might like to know we offer fun and fully clothed strap-on & pegging masterclasses to get you started.

Our fab and pun-tastic sex educators will cover anatomy (female-bodied and male-bodied), how to choose a strap-on that’ll work for you; and they’ll also share tips & tricks to ensure your pegging sesh with your partner will be a sensual and safe experience for you both.

Here’s what you can expect when you join us for a pegging masterclass at our Pitfield Street shop:

  • A warm and friendly welcome from our knowledgeable team and like-minded guests
  • Fizz and French Fancies for all attendees
  • Advice on the best techniques to help you get started
  • Some useful tips and tricks on how to peg like a pro!
  • A professionally-led and open Q&A session
  • Recommendations on the best pegging products and a cheeky 20% discount to use on any products throughout the store after the session

So, if you fancy joining us for our next pegging masterclass, click here to find out more, send us an email here or call us on 0333 444 005 to book your space.

See you there!

 

 

Games_Dress_Up_Blog_Post

3 Top Tips For Injecting Some Fun Into Your Erotic Activities

Sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures, and something everyone should look forward to as a form of release, a way to connect with a partner and to increase self-confidence.

That is the dream, anyway.

We all know the reality can look very different. Busy schedules and long-term relationships often mean that couples find their sex lives become stagnant or even non-existent.

Whether it is due to a lack of excitement or adventure or simply not having the time to roll around in bed for a whole weekend, having a healthy and satisfying sex life can feel like a luxury that is somewhat unattainable.

If you’re feeling as though your sex life is dwindling, check out our tips for spicing things up and ensuring your fire is one that stays lit!

Explore an area that you haven’t before

Anal stimulation can be extremely erotic and if you’ve never tried this before, it’s well worth considering giving it a gentle go.

Thinking of it as a fun, new adventure and a chance for you both to explore yet-to-be-discovered parts of your bodies, will help to make it seem less intimidating.

Before dipping your fingertips in, so to speak, make sure to have smooth nails, a bottle of anal lube uncorked and lines of communication open.

Start off slowly by using only a finger for stroking, teasing and tapping around the anus before slipping deeper in.

As you both gain confidence and get hotter for more, lubed-up anal beads slipped into the tush one-by-one can offer amazing sensations for the partner on the receiving end.  For a truly mind-blowing experience, insert the anal beads and gently remove them just as they (or you!) are about to reach orgasm.

sh-anal-beadsPlay dress up

Our day to day lives are full of responsibility so sometimes it can be refreshing to pretend to be someone else for a few hours. Let this expand to your bedroom sessions by dressing up for your partner.

There are too many options to count; you can be a sexy maid one day and a formidable Dominatrix the next… Choosing a roleplay persona that fits with your personality makes it a little easier to pretend, but choosing a persona who is your complete opposite is also lots of fun. If you are shy in real life, being a hard-ass cop for a couple of hours could spark all sorts of erotic fires!

Keeping it fun with a bit of roleplay will aid the excitement and mean that neither of you can wait to rip each other’s clothes off and get started…

Sexy Police Outfit

Read erotic books or watch films together

Seeing or reading about other people having sex can be a real turn on and is also a great way to learn a few new moves in the process.

Be sure to talk to your partner about it first and agree on something that you both find sexy. We stock a wide range of erotic books that will be perfect for some bedtime reading.

Tip: Setting your partner the task of finding something you’ll like will give them cart blanche to watch as much porn as they can possibly find time for, as they’ll be searching for something that’ll turn you on. Be as specific as possible – this’ll make it harder to find the right clip or film and they simply ‘have to’ watch lots and lots of sexy stuff – and they’ll be keen to gain your approval once the mission has been completed!

 

 

 

Lips B&W

Creative Juices: I Make You Suffer

We’re very excited about this third instalment of Creative Juices; a sex fantasy called I Make You Suffer by Alexandra Grey. It’s a sassy piece, focusing on female pleasure.

 

At this point Alexandra doesn’t have a Twitter handle or website for you to visit, but we hope to have her write for Creative Juices again.

 

Until then, here’s her fantasy for you to enjoy!

 


 I MAKE YOU SUFFER by Alexandra Grey

I like to think about what it would be like if you wanted to fuck me, and I made you suffer for it.

We’re somewhere private, maybe a bathroom or cloakroom. Leaning up against a shadowy wall, there’s distant music and voices, but mostly we’re absorbed in each other. My back is against the wall and you’re grinding your pelvis into mine, and dropping kisses down my neck. I’m melting into the sensation – I’ve been drinking, everything is warm and a little fuzzy. You say ‘please…please…’ into my ear. I respond by laughing, not really taking you seriously. The kisses move back up my neck and you kiss my mouth, pushing my head back into the wall, penetrating me with your tongue until I sigh.

You move your lips back down my neck, down into my cleavage. Grazing the tops of my breasts with your mouth, almost instinctively, you move your hand up to press it against one of them and squeeze slightly. I laugh again, and push them away, and you make a little disappointed noise into my collarbone. The noise entertains me; I’m revelling in your neediness and the power I have over you. I place my hands on your hips, and pull them suddenly into me, making you gasp. As your hands go back to my body I take them and place them flat against my chest, just above where the curvature of my breasts starts, and I push them, sliding them down my torso, almost ignoring your reaction while I enjoy the sensation.

I lean back against the wall and look at your from under my eyelids. You take this as an invitation and lean in to kiss me but I dodge your mouth and turn away to accept your kisses on my neck. You’re becoming frustrated and you unconsciously ball up some of my dress in your fist, and at first I soothe you by starting to kiss your mouth – but it’s deceptive, and after kissing you deeply for a moment I pull back to see you looking hungrily at me. I bring my hand up to your mouth and slide in a finger, hooking it over your teeth and pulling you close to my face. ‘Did you want to…?’ I say. You nod insistently.

I push us off the wall and turn us around so that your back is against it and I’m leaning on you, pushing my face into your neck as I say ‘…No, we can’t…not here…’. As I’m saying this I grind my crotch into yours. I can feeling your cock under my pelvis, starting to get hard. You swallow and try to breath normally. You almost want to push me away, to end the frustration, but my hands are now massaging your bottom through your trousers as I make lazy circles with my hips, making you harder and unable to go back to the party. I pull back and watch your face as I slowly unzip your trousers, and slide my hand inside to gently rub the head of your cock through your boxers. You gasp and realise how dry your mouth is. You’re almost nervous, this wasn’t how you expected this detour to go.

My hand is warm and soft as I pull your cock out of your trousers. I start making lazy circles with my thumb around the tip of your cock. You stifle a moan. This encourages me, I’m enjoying your discomfort as if it was touch and I make it worse by gently stroking one of your nipples through your shirt with my nail. The noises you’re suppressing become more pathetic and insistent. You’ve stopped touching me, your palms are now flat against the wall behind you, more to stay standing than anything else.

I chuckle and pause, looking up at you. ‘Do you want to put your cock inside me?’ You can only get out a ‘yeah’ and I say ‘Just stay there. If you move, I’ll leave’.

Still with my body pressed against yours, while I look into your eyes, I reach down and slide up my dress. When I reach my waist, my dress gathered in one hand, I turn around and, hooking my thumbs into my knickers, slide them slowly down, bending to push them down my legs, and push my naked arse into your cock. You watch as your cock is enveloped by my arse cheeks when I straighten up. I lean back against you, feeling your shaft press into my arsehole and cunt, dragging my dress up further so I can run my hands over my nipples.

I bring my fingers up to your mouth, to wet them, and then rub them onto the tip of your cock. You’re still braced against the wall, and as I push the head of your cock against the entrance of my arse, rubbing it up and down where it’s most sensitive, you involuntarily say ‘oh god’. I smile and lean back against you, pushing the head of your cock slightly inside my arse. When you look down, you can see that my eyes are closed, my head is leaning back against your chest and one of my hands is slowly pinching and releasing one of my nipples.

You’re still not touching me, you’re worried that if you moved you’d fall over. Only the very end of your cock is inside me and you desperately want it to be more, and for me to move faster and give you some relief from this tension. But you can’t, you know you have to stay still, that I’m in control. While one of my hands is rubbing my nipples, the other has started circling my clitoris. The little noises of almost pathetic frustration that you’re making are turning me on, making me touch myself faster and bring myself closer to orgasm.

The movement from me pleasuring myself is causing me to rock back and forth on your cock and as it almost slides in further you whimper and gasp. As I orgasm, the muscles of my arse twich around you and you gasp for breath, unable to control your reactions, groping at the wall behind you and whispering ‘oh god, oh god’ under your breath as I come.

When I’m done, I exhale with satisfaction, and slide myself off your cock, pushing my dress back down. You hope I’ll turn around for a kiss, or to help you recover from my orgasm.

But I merely bend down, pick up my knickers, and walk back to the party, without even glancing behind me.


Feeling inspired to pen your own sex fantasy? If you’d like to submit a story to be published on the Sh! blog, please hop on over to this page for more info on Creative Juices.

Wedding Gifts for Kinky Couples

Wedding Gifts for Kinky Couples

Spring and Summer are high season for weddings and whilst we all love receiving invites, they inevitably bring on gift-stress: what do you buy the couple that has everything?

Or perhaps you are a Bride or Groom looking to surprise your beloved with something different on the morning of the big day, an extra-special gift they won’t be expecting?

We’ve got you covered.

We love gifts that keep on giving, and we’ve cherry-picked the best surprise gifts for the wedding day.

Kinky Seduction Set in Black Satin

If you’re buying for good friends, the kinky seduction set in black is a great option. Presented in a black gift box, the set contains three essential and highly versatile toys: a satin blindfold, a pair of satin ties and a soft feather pom.
sh_-satin-seduction-bondage-gift-set-black-contents

The satin blindfold creates sensual darkness, throwing off inhibitions and welcoming gentle nibbling of soft skin. The blindfolds fastens with a bow at the back of the head, and is soft & silky enough to sleep comfortably in.

The satin ties with are extra long for versatility, and fastens easily with metal D-rings. At 39″ long and 2″ wide, they look as good as they feel – no chafing, but certainly strong enough to struggle against if that’s part of a bedroom game.

A cute feather pom in gold adds a fun finishing touch. It looks innocent, but works wonderfully when used for slow, seductive play. The fluttery feeling is light and delicate, making every centimeter of skin come alive under its touch.

Beautiful Steel Plug with Jewel Decoration

ridged-butt-plug

If you are looking for a sophisticated yet kinky gift for your Bride, you can’t go wrong with a beautiful steel plug. Delivering sensory fireworks where the sun don’t shine, with a pretty jewel detail peeking out for instant WOW factor, it’s a morning gift that’ll keep her derriere looking and feeling fantastic throughout the day.

At only 2″ of insertable length, this plug isn’t overly big but the weight is what makes it feel so good. Steel butt plugs are sensual to wear, and the sumptuous ridges offer intense sensations when the wearer sits, stands or moves in a way that makes the anal muscles clench against the plug.

Don’t forget to include a bottle of anal lube – a tushie isn’t self-lubricating and needs all the extra lubrication it can get.

Steel Butt Plug with Diamante Handle

steel-butt-plug-diamante

Small enough to tempt an anal newbie, the steel butt plug with diamante handle makes a gorgeous gift. A tapered tip for easy insertion, great design for prostate stimulation and broad base for ultimate safety; there is nothing to not to love about this plug!

With its slightly longer neck, this steel plug is especially suitable for prostate play – just remember to add the all-important lube.

With 2.”8 of insertable length and sleek good looks,  the steel butt plug with a diamante handle is well-designed and a pleasure to use.

Luxury Whip with 18k Gold Dildo Handle

The ultimate in decadent gifts, this luxury suede whip has a stunning 18k gold handle and seductively soft tails.

Ergonomically designed to ensure a firm grip, the handle doubles as a dildo. The 18k gold handle/dildo with delicate Swarowski crystals offers both Dom/me & sub stunningly erotic play sessions.

The soft suede strands of this whip are great for sensation play; with slow sexy swishes, the submissive partner can be teased & tickled into a frenzy.

This luxury whip is great for beginners, as well as more experienced players and a must for anyone who likes their BDSM toys to be a cut above the rest.

unspecified

Presented in a luxurious white box, this suede whip really does make the perfect present for the kinky couple who has everything…

 

An egg

Q&A: Is it safe to insert an egg anally?

My partner and I have a lot of fetishes around monsters and sci fi scenarios. We like to enact her being ravaged by fantastic beasts and I enjoy simulating the sensations by dressing up and using toys and props.

One thing we’re interested in is simulating her being impregnanted by an alien egg. I’d like to use an actual egg but I’m wondering if it would be safe to insert a cool peeled, hardboiled, egg anally? I know it doesn’t have a flared base but surely it would break down rather than getting lost? What do you think about this?

A.

Hello A!

What an eggstra-special question for both world egg day and Halloween! Your fantasy scenarios sound eggcellent fun. 😉

There are a few things to consider here.

Never having tried this trick ourselves, we are not quite sure how feasible inserting an egg into the anus would be. Just getting a peeled egg past the strong sphincter could prove tricky. Add a generous lashing of lube to said egg and you’ll have a scrambled mess on your hands.

For this fantasy to work well and not end with an untimely visit to A&E and/or seriously flatulence, we’d recommend using a safe anal toy instead.

fun-factory-b-ball-unoThe Fun Factory B-Ball Uno could work wonderfully well. It has an inner Ben Wa ball that jiggles with movement, and one could imagine this is similar to the feeling of an ‘alien-baby’ moving around inside.

If the B-Ball Uno seems a little eggstravagant for a one-time scenario, you might want to consider the Sh! Button Butt Plug. The Button pops in place with a lovely feeling of egg-like roundness.

It is probably best to leave the actual eggs for afterwards – you may well feel hungry after all that fun!

Please send all your questions to advice@sh-womenstore.com.

Love, Team Sh! xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.

 

 

Q&A: How do I have a prostate orgasm?

Q&A: How do I have a prostate orgasm?

Hey,

I know you’re female focused but I thought you might be able to help me. I’m interested in ‘exploring’ if that’s the right word, my prostate. It’s not something I’ve done before but the idea is growing on my I guess. I’d just like some advice on where to start and what to expect?

J.

Hey J!

This week is Men’s Health Week so we’re really happy to be able to answer one for the boys.

You sound a bit hesitant but it’s great that you’re looking to explore new things and prostate play can add a new dimension to your sex life. It can make your orgasms more intense and some men can orgasm from prostate stimulation alone.

The prostate is sometimes compared to the male G-Spot and it does have quite a lot in common with the G-Spot. Like the G-Spot it swells and hardens as you become aroused which makes it easier to find.

It can be stimulated by inserting a finger or toy two or three inches inside the anus, it’s important to go slowly, use lots of lube and stop and warm up some more if you feel any pain. You should also try using a specialist anal lubricant which will be thicker and longer lasting than regular lube.

You should make sure you are already aroused before going for the prostate, and again, if it hurts you’re doing it wrong. Add more stimulation and lubrication.

It might take quite a lot of time and stimulation (and a lot of lube, remember the anus isn’t self lubricating) to get you there so be patient.

Here’s a handy guide to show you where to find your prostate:

His Prostate

 

It might be a good idea to try a specially designed prostate toys such as Rocks-Off Naughty Boy Prostate Massager. Which is slim, almost silent and perfect for beginners, it also stimulates your perineum for even more pleasure. If you’re playing with a partner you might want to try using latex gloves or finger guards, they can prevent nails from snagging and help if you’re worried about cleanliness.

Rocks Off Prostate Massager

If you’d like to find our more you might want to look at the Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, which is a veritable compendium of useful information.

If you have any questions please send them to advice@sh-womenstore.com, if you’d like advice from our sex and relationship expert Sarah Berry please include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’.

Best Wishes,

Team Sh! xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.

Advice Anal Play & Pleasure

Q&A: Can I wear an anal plug and a vaginal toy to work?

Hi I am looking for an anal plug with at least 4 inches of insertable length which I can insert prior to going into the office and leave in for 3-4 hours. Can you assist? Thank you.
Also, do you think it is possible to insert a toy into my vagina at the same time and leave them both in as I work in the office? Your advice would be very much appreciated.
Thank you,

E.

Hi E,

Many thanks for your email.

Many people like to play kinky or sexy games at work, enjoying the secret thrill of knowing what they are wearing underneath their smart work outfit.

We have a selection of soft silicone butt plugs that might be just what you are looking for, like this beginner’s butt plug.  There are other sizes and shapes to choose from, but we’d recommend opting for a slimmer butt plug if you are intending to wear a vaginal toy at the same time. And – don’t forget about the all important lube!

There are a quite a few options for toys that can be worn internally, but top of the list for fun “work wear” are love balls. Simply slip them in, vaginally ( never, EVER use love balls anally) and you are all set! You’ll feel the balls jiggle as you move, which can be incredibly sensual.

The added benefit of wearing love balls is that you are working your pc muscle at the same time, which in turn will increase the strength of your orgasms. Bonus!

We-Vibe Classic (£106)
We-Vibe Classic

Buzzing at Work

If you fancy a little buzz every now and then, you might choose a remote control vibe like We Vibe Classic. The We Vibe Classic offers clitoral stimulation, as well as internal stimulation – all controlled via the handy remote. Or, more discreetly, via the free app that you can download to your phone. These days, sex toys are so quiet, you needn’t worry about your colleagues hearing the tell-tale buzz either…

If you have any questions please contact us at advice@sh-womenstore.com, if you’d like help from our sex and relationship expert Sarah Berry please add the subject like, ‘Ask Sarah’.

Have fun!

Team Sh! xx

All Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity.

QA-Advice

Q&A: Lube for Pregnancy & Diabetes

Hello Ladies,

I have a few questions about lube I hope you can help me with: 

1. What kind of lubricant should I use during pregnancy? And why would some lubricants be suitable and others not?

2. Lubricants for people with diabetes – I’ve heard some lubricants contain sugar? 

3. Can sex toys cause cystitis? What are the safest practices for people affected by this condition?

Can you help me out?

Laura

(Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity)

Hi Laura,

Many thanks for your email – these are all excellent questions and we think a lot of people will be interested in finding out more about lubes.

Generally, use of lubricants is not harmful to either parent or child, and we have a selection of good waterbased lubes to choose from.. During some stages of pregnancy, lubricant can also help enhance pleasure and alleviate any dryness caused by over-active hormones. (Although many women find they do not need lube during pregnancy as the body will naturally produce a lot of extra lubrication.)

Products with mild formulations are much better for the skin as pregnancy can cause hypersensitivity to certain ingredients that may have previously caused no problem.

Lubes with glycerine/sugars, parabens and fragrances should be avoided. These ingredients can be irritating at the best of times, but as pregnant women are more prone to yeast infections and UTI’s, we recommend giving them a (wide) berth.

Silicone-based lubricants are not generally recommended as they are not water soluble, and could cause bacteria to collect inside the vagina and, over time, cause infections.

Also avoid lubricants with additives designed to enhance pleasure, like warming or tingling lubes – they may cause unpleasant side effects when/if your vagina is extra sensitive.

Products containing L-arginine, Lidocane, Capsicum, and Menthol are not advised for use during pregnancy. This is because they could cause irritation to extra-sensitive pregnant skin and there is not enough research into the effects of topical use of these ingredients on expecting mothers. Using these products could carry possible health risks to both mother and baby. It is always best for mum-to-be to get advice from their GP about these ingredients.

List of lubes suitable during pregnancy:

Vegan-Friendly Lubes

sliquid vegan organic lubeFor a product to be classified as vegan, it needs to not contain any ingredients derived from animals or from animal by-products. They must be safe to ingest, contain no hormones and not be tested on animals. Currently, the products we stock that are Vegan-friendly (no animal products, synthetic alternatives, and vegetable glycerine) are as follows:

Lubes Suitable for People with Diabetes

When it comes to diabetes some flavoured lubes do contain sugar, so it’s best to avoid those for oral sex. Glycerin, which is a common ingredient in many lubricants, is a form of sugar but not one that will be processed by your body or raise your blood sugar. Still, diabetes can make you more prone to cystitis because it raises the sugar levels of your urine making a happy breeding ground for bacteria – so you might want to avoid putting any kind of sugar in your vagina as it could increase your chances of getting yeast infections.

Lube and Cystitis

Cystitis is also known as the “honeymoon disease” – it is very common to experience an unpleasant bout of cystitis after an intense sex session, especially if there hasn’t been any sexual activity for a while. The friction of sex can be a little too much for the sensitive urethra, and bacteria may make their way into the bladder. Make sure to always go for a pee after sex, this will help keep urethra and bladder as happy as can be.

Try positions that cause little or no friction on the urethra, and use a good lube to ensure no unnecessary rubbing of a sensitive area.

Sh! Toy CleanerAs far as avoiding cystitis in general goes, the important thing is to clean your toys. You can use something like Sh! toy cleaner to make the process of cleaning your favourite toys easy peasy – spritz it on, rinse off and leave your toy to air dry (it’s better to let your toys air dry as towels or tissues can leave behind tiny particles). Or, use antibacterial hand soap and warm water but be careful with toys that aren’t waterproof.

Sh! own brand dildos can also be sterilised by boiling them in a pan for three minutes (just remember to remove the vibrating bullet, if you have a vibrating dildo) or putting them through the dishwasher.  Then store them somewhere clean and fluff-free.

Avoid swapping toys between partners without cleaning in between (or cover with condoms for easy clean-up mid-session), and never go from back to front without washing your vibe/dildo in-between. The anus is full of bacteria that you won’t want in your vagina – this is often an excellent way of inadvertently giving oneself an infection.

Also, as an added bonus to your questions, we’d like to add some information about pregnancy and massage oils.

We all agree massages are lovely, but when it comes to products created for body massage for pregnant women it is very important that anything containing essential oils is not used. The reason for this is that some compounds in certain essential oils actually have hormone-like behaviours (because of their molecular structure). Another risk is that some have an emmenagogue (em·men·a·gogue) action when taken orally or applied onto the body (these are herbs that stimulate blood flow in the pelvic area and uterus). They are traditionally used to help to promote and regulate menstrual flow (periods), and so should be avoided during pregnancy.

Use of essential oils, ultimately, can cause birth defects or can start premature labour (intrauterine contractions) resulting in miscarriage.

Massage CandleFrequent use of almond oil in pregnancy is linked to an increased risk of premature birth. Almond oil is the main component of many massage oils as it is a basic carrier oil for other essential oils.

The range Earthly Body massage candles are safe for use when pregnant – AND they are vegan-friendly too!

Hope that helps as a comprehensive guide to health and lube!

If you have any questions about health, toys, sex or relationships email us at advice@sh-womenstore.com

Love,

Team Sh! xx