Buying Your First Sex Toy

Are you boggled with choice? Overwhelmed by all the different types of sex toys available? Don’t know where to start?

It’s usual for first-time sex toy buyers to feel overwhelmed, but don’t give up!

Follow these simple tips to get started on your sex toy discovery…

For your first sex toy; Go with what you know…

If you are totally new to playing with sex toys, we advise you choose a toy that suits the kind of pleasure you enjoy best… or if you want to discover a new kind of pleasure, choose a toy that is dedicated to that pleasure area.

[We’re keeping this article quite simple, and concentrating on the main ‘never bought a toy before’ questions that arise in our London Store and the advice we give, but if a style of toy or pleasure centre isn’t covered, click here for all our My First Beginners Sex Toy Guides ]

  • Ask yourself: What do I enjoy or what am I looking to explore?

clitoris advice

Clitoral Pleasure:  If you particularly enjoy clitoral stimulation (and most women do!) ,  never had an orgasm or find they can be frustratingly hit-or-miss, a vibrator is the best first sex toy for you.

The majority of women buying their first sex toy at our London store will buy a vibrator for clitoral pleasure.

Each of our  vibrator pages has advice articles ( on the left hand side of the page) which will guide you through what to look for when choosing a particular style of  vibrator.

The most important thing to remember is that ANY vibrator, whatever it’s size or shape can be used for clitoral pleasure, so you don’t need to get too hung-up on size and shape at this stage.

Vibration is a whole new and different type of clitoral stimulation and one that many, MANY women love and it’s not uncommon for women to have their first orgasm with added vibration.

Clitoral and Bullets & Eggs Vibes are the place to head for dedicated clit-pleasing vibrators.

Read More:


G-Spot Advice
G-Spot Advice

Penetration/G-spot pleasure:  If you’re more into internal stimulation, or would like to explore it, your first toy needs to be a penetrative shape (rather than a smaller vibrator designed for external/clitoral pleasure)

If you are playing solo, we  would advise the best first toy for penetrative or G-spot pleasure is also a vibrator (rather than a dildo)  because it will also give you option of vibration.

Rabbit and G-Spot vibrators are the places to head…

Again,  these pages give advice on choosing each style of toy, which is useful for newbies and seasoned buyers alike.

Read More:

Beginners anal advice

Anal pleasure:  We don’t give many commands, but safe pleasure is when we get bossy! Exploring backdoor play,  means buying a  dedicated anal toy – ie one that is specially designed for anal pleasure, with a shape that prevents it disappearing inside and potentially getting lost.

An anal toy must have a wise base, handle or finger-ring so you can keep a firm grip on it.  As an area rich in delicious sensations, but also one that can be painful if not done correctly, exploring anal pleasure can be a bit of a tightrope walk, so we would highly recommend reading through all our anal advice  to ensure yours is all pleasure and no pain.

Read More:

  • Beginners Guide: My First Anal Toy

Don’t feel like you have to spend ££’s on your first sex toy.

Until you’ve tried a toy, it’s impossible to know what will give you a thrill – and because every woman is different, there’s no magic one-toy-suits-all.

Like an expensive face cream, spending a lot on a first sex toy can give unreasonable expectations of what it will deliver.

If you are new to the sensations of vibration, for instance, starting with a simple battery-operated one will give you a introduction to what a vibrator feels like.

And there’s no point going for the poshest anal  toy on the block if you are going to back away from it every time it comes out of the box!


For your first vibrator; Think the 3 S’s – Sound, Sensations & Simple!

Sound: As a first-time toy explorer, a vibrator that is too loud may put you off enjoying it fully.  As a newbie, enjoying a buzzing bedfellow for the first time,  can feel embarrassing, especially in a shared house where kids, parents or housemates might hear.  No vibrator is completely silent (use the filter on the vibrator pages to show you quiet vibrators ) then lock the door, put on some music and enjoy!

Sensations: Some women need really strong stimulation to get pleasure, whereas others find this kind of touch desensitizing or even sometimes painful. The best way to cover all bases is to choose a toy with many different speed settings so you can explore. On each product page , the Technical Info Tab tells you what your vibrator offers.

Simple: A toy that’s complicated to operate or one that requires you to read a 10 page manual before you start, may put you off. We recommend beginners should start with one that has simple, intuitive operation.  We’ve rated each of our toys as Easy/ Middling or Tricky ( but worth it!) and we advise your first toy should definitely be ‘easy’!


For penetrative first toys; Think small!

Until you know your perfect size,  it’s better to think small.  This isn’t a competition! A toy that is too big will feel more uncomfortable than sexy.

Length: With a penetrative toy, you can always control how deep it goes inside, so one that is too long is not necessarily a problem…

Width: A toy that is too wide for you is likely to feel intimidating, thus unpleasurable and unlikely to get many 2nd outings. Certainly there maybe times when we may want to upgrade ( though in our experience talking to customers, not half as many as size-jokes and porn films would have us believe!) but for a first-toy newbie, start slim.


Remember, your first sex toy needn’t be ‘The One’ !

This is just the beginning of your journey, so don’t get too hung up on finding your perfect sex toy.  We know that the biggest obstacle to buying your first sex toy can be because you’re overwhelmed by choice ( even though we’ve cherry-picked the best for you!)  but, like any adventure, it’s best to just take the plunge and find a starting point.

That’s why we recommend starting small, inexpensive and simple. then later, if you find you want something stronger / gentler /  larger, your first choice will point you in the right direction for when you want to upgrade.

couples sex toy advice

lesbian sex toys advice

6 Tips for Buying a First Sex Toy for Partner

  • If you’re buying a toy to use with a partner, especially if they are new to toys, read How to Introduce a Sex Toy  which gives advice on how to bring up the conversation.
  • Partners can feel sensitive around sex toys, so it’s important to ensure that they feel included, and not replaced!
  • Browsing our website or visiting the Sh! store together is a great way to introduce the idea of sex toys to your relationship and it allows you to pick something you’d both like to try.
  • If you’re planning to surprise your partner, go for something playful and approachable.
  • If your partner is male, we would advise against introducing a first toy that is penetrative in shape as it can feel confusing (do you want to use it on him?!) or a criticism ( isn’t he enough for you?!)
  • A small external vibrator he too may enjoy or a cock-ring you can enjoy together during sex are both good first toys for playing with male partners.

Buying a first vibrator for a friend

6 Tips for Buying a First Vibrator for Friend

  • Buying a beginners vibe as a present can be THE best gift for a friend, especially if your friend might be shy about buying one for herself.
  • Receiving a first vibe as a present can help a friend discover new pleasures without feeling any embarrassment about having bought it for herself.
  • A first-toy gift should be fun and non-scary.
  • The Clitoral Appetizer Set contains everything needed to start enjoying a buzz all packed up in a gift box, ready to unwrap and enjoy…
  • We know of lots of women who recieved their first rabbit vibrator as a gift from a friend – to their eternal gratitude.
  • If you are giving a first vibrator or sex toy as a gift, only you know how is best to give it, but we’d never recommend making her unwrap it during a family dinner! Give sex toy gifts with the discretion they deserve!


If you have any questions or want advice on buying your first toy, please do Email Us or call us on 03333 444 005.

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