“So, what are you doing on Valentine’s Day?” “Well, nothing much. He shows me love every single day of the year, so Valentine’s Day is his day off.” This is without doubt the most romantic thing I have ever heard. A woman who doesn’t buy into V-Day and all the pressure that comes with it. I’ve seen, up close, what a lack of romance can do to someone on this one day of the year. A colleague once asked me to buy and post her a Valentine’s Day card, so our other colleagues would think she had a lover (sorry guys, it was only me). She didn’t want to be the only one who didn’t receive a declaration of love (there was around 2000 employees in the building so she was unlikely to be as alone as she felt – but it goes to show the effect Valentine's Day can have on those who aren’t single by choice). This has made me reflect on the smaller things. Having someone special make a call so you can wake up to their honey voice rather than a jarring alarm clock; having a bath ready and waiting for you after a long day or a favourite drink already fixed for when you get out of said bath… Those are all every-day signs of love. Which isn’t to say I would say no to a sexy Valentine’s Day. I can be swayed. And swept off my feet. And tied up to a four-poster bed at a swanky hotel in Paris. Actually, if I’m honest, my dream V-Day date would take place right here in London. London has everything I need for a perfect day – and night. Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson notoriously had the ultimate first date - an intense, rock & roll 24-hour extravaganza that left them panting (and getting married on a beach, but I’ll skip that part). For my Dream Valentine’s date, I want to make the most of the full 24 hours too. There is only one way to start off; a champagne breakfast. I don’t much care where, as long as I can drink expensive bubbles in the nude. That’s non-negotiable. We’d go for lunch, and then take a leisurely walk through St James’s Park, my favourite spot in London. Do it the right way and it’ll take you past Buck House, the pond, Big Ben and you’ll end up at Trafalgar Square where you can mingle with both pigeons and tourists. Dinner – nothing too heavy; what I have in mind for the evening requires energy drinks, so tapas, at most. You see, my favourite part of a Valentine’s Day dream date would be to spend the night at my place of work – locked in. And alone with my date.

Locked into a sex shop, with full access to all toys, whips and massage candles… It’d be a feast for the senses!

Full use would be made of blindfolds, wand massagers and tongue toys. We’d break out the Njoy toys, glass dildos and the strap-ons would get paraded around too… Nipple clamps would be tested, bums would be paddled and we’d use the wax play candles to drip gorgeous patterns onto each other. We’d read erotica out loud, and then act out the best scenes.

It would take all night, of course. We’d leave in the morning, looking dishevelled and worn out, delightfully f*cked, high on love and endorphins (the body's natural pain killers - nothing illegal). Well, that’s my fantasy. I can't say what my boss would make of it all, or who’d do the cleaning up but that’s the best part – a fantasy can be whatever you want it to be. What’s your Valentine’s Dream Date?