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How Not to Buy a Strap On...

A visit to a sex shop sometimes makes people behave in the most inappropriate way – somehow they focus on the “sex” bit and forget totally how to behave in a shop

A well-dressed, middle-aged couple asks a (then brand new) Sh! Girl to help them choose a strap on harness. They have clearly enjoyed a long lunch imbibing alcoholic beverages and are rather unruly. Not a problem, Sh! Girl thinks, and shows them to the changing cubicle, advising Lady to step out of her skirt for an easier fitting. Sh! Girl discreetly turn away so as not to embarrass the lady whilst she slips her skirt off. In case she was shy....

Without looking too closely, Sh! Girl kneels down in front of the lady, holds out the harness so it can be easily stepped into and suggests the lady holds on to her shoulders for balance as she's wearing killer stilettos. As Sh! Girl pulls the 2 strap harness up over woman's knees, and straightens up, she finds herself facing closely shaven lady-lips revealed through of a pair of sheer crotchless knickers.

Sh! Girl is surprised and embarrassed in equal measure, for the lady, mainly, - surely she can't realise she's wearing such inappropriate underwear for strap-on shopping.

please wear (full) panties when strap on shopping! please wear (full) panties when strap on shopping!

Sh! Girl just manages to stop herself blurting out ‘you’re half naked!

Sh! Girl and lady engage in a little tussle of tug-of-harness-war. Worried about hygiene issues, Sh! Girl is eager to avoid harness-contact with naked labia, so she starts yanking it southwards away from all exposed areas.

Lady is clearly not happy with this turn of events and starts to pull the harness upwards. She mutters through clenched (upper) lips that she wants double penetration... Hygiene issues become more urgent as Lady also starts to slip a dildo into the harness, angled towards her barely covered lady bits.

Oh my Lord! Sh! Girl's blood pressure is now sky-high and she almost starts to hyper-ventilate, but professional to the end, she inform Lady that for a strap on dildo to be employed for double penetration, it needs to be worn by the man.

Lady relinquishes the harness. Her man is wearing trousers, so Sh! Girl feels confident no man-parts could accidentally slip out, and starts to breath again.

Oh! The innocence…

Before Sh! Girl can react, Lady has bundled her man into the cubicle and is hands-on with the fitting herself. The curtain is drawn closed…

There is muffled giggles and possibly purrs.

Now, when Sh! Girl says “would you like to try on a harness?” she does mean try on and not try out! Sh! Girl hasn't got to the chapter on dealing with overly-frisky customers in her training manual but she knows this isn't right. She knows, too, even in the face of extreme challenges a Sh! Girl never compromises on service levels so she bangs on the woodwork and firmly, yet politely, asks the couple to vacate the cubicle.

This seems to brakes the spell, or at least sobers the couple up, and they exit like naughty school kids caught behind the bike sheds.

Frisky couple purchase the silicone dildo and harness (of course – it would be rude not to!) and skip out of the shop. Sh! Girl hopes it is to go and find a hotel room!



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