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Q&A: Painful Sex / Intercourse

Legs closed - Q&A: Painful Sex / Intercourse

Dear Sh!

I'm trying to find a gel that numbs internally. After having a laparoscopy and finding out that I have problems with my ovaries, sex is obviously painful. The only thing that is slightly close is the gel inside Durex special condoms (but can't use them as allergic to latex), I'm only 23 and it's stressing me and my partner of 3 years out - I want my sex life back! Any advice or products you can suggest would be great. Thanks!

Hi there,

We are so sorry to hear sex is painful for you. We can understand why you are looking for something to numb the pain.

However...

There are numbing products available (often marketed for anal sex), but we don’t stock them. Pain is the body's way of telling you that something is wrong. Ignoring this "stop" signal can be dangerous, and it isn't something we are comfortable promoting. 

Lube reduces friction

Instead, we'd recommend trying a really good, viscous lubricant. 

Lubricant won't numb the pain, but it will reduce friction and help make intercourse as smooth as possible. Our first suggestion is Sh! Pure Plus lube. The lube is water-based and free from parabens. The formula is extra-thick and crates a "padded" layer between the vaginal membranes and fingers, toys or penis.  

Sh! Pure Plus bottle of lube

 

If you have tried lube but still feel you want something to "numb" the pain, we recommend booking an appointment with your health care team. Women sometimes get prescribed a steroid cream for vulval pain or pain during intercourse. This cream helps numb the pain. 

But - before you go down this route - how about talking to your partner about expanding your sexual repertoire? 

Sex is more than p-i-v

Long-term couples can get stuck in a sexual rut. For straight couples, this often means penetration. Finding other ways to play could enhance pleasure for you both. 

Playing a sexy game together or exploring the sensual side of sex is a great way to enjoy one another without jumping straight into the penetrative side of sex.

If you'd like to read more about penetration-free sex, we have a great blog post here.

We hope this helps <3

Best Wishes

Team Sh! xx

More advice about painful sex here.

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