As part of Masturbation Month, we’re looking into a few myths about masturbation andsex toys that still do the rounds, backed up with subtle, judgment-loaded messaging in the media.
Not the 'masturbation makes you blind' or 'causes hairy palms' nonsense of old. Everyone (hopefully!) understands that such codswallop was created to curb and control human sexuality in the past. But today's prevalent myths are still pervasive and are still about control.
Myth! Vibrators Make Your Clit Less Sensitive
Many of us have our go-to style of clit stimulation, often including a favourite vibe. Vibrators oscillate at about 200 oscillations per minute. This incredible buzz is usually reliable for delivering orgasms faster and easier than any other method.
However, vibration doesn’t make your clit immune to other types of stimulation. It can take longer to climax using fingers or rubbing up against something soft, but variety is the spice of life and switching up masturbation styles is a fabulous way to discover new ways to climax.
Despite our own, along with many other sex-positive voices, working to smash the taboos, female masturbation is still being controlled with the fear-mongering myth that vibrators will desensitise clitorises, making it tricky or even impossible to climax any other way.
A study of over 2,000 women debunked this myth.
It found: 'Vibrator use among women is common, associated with health-promoting behaviours and positive sexual function, and rarely associated with side effects'
Rather than what naysayers would have us believe, the study found that there were massive positives to vibrator use!
These included;
- Improved orgasm
- Improved desire/arousal
- Increased lubrication
- Decreased pain
- Vibe users are more likely to get gynaecological checkups and do self-examinations.
Most women (71.5%) reported having never experienced genital symptoms associated with vibrator use. A small proportion of women did report temporary numbing, but this went away within a day.
Using a strong vibrator for a long period can make it feel a little numb or even over-sensitive, but it's a lot like clapping enthusiastically after an amazing show - your hands feel numb for a while, but sensation soon returns. A small price to pay for experiencing the greatest show on earth!
[The study concluded with 'Clinicians may find these data useful in responding to patients' sexual issues and recommending vibrator use to improve sexual function' and we couldn't agree more.]
Myth! Men’s Masturbation Toys Are Gross
Sex toys aren't just for women & vulva-owners. Men and penis-owners can have great fun playing with toys too, and long-gone are the days when the only options where blow-up dolls or pussy-lips in a fleshlight (we think these 'realistic' masturbators peddle their myth that men have no imagination...but that's another blog post!).
We are fans of the cute & colourful Tenga Egg masturbation sleeves. These are pocket-sized one-pop cups and can be a real treat for some light stress relief after a long day.
There are also fantastic prostate massagers for those who love having their butts stimulated. Enjoying anal play doesn't say anything about a person's sexuality - this is another dumb myth - it just means they like to explore their erogenous zones.
Myth! Sex Toys Are Sleazy
Long gone are the days of big dongs with veins and scratchy knickers. We’re not yucking your yum if these toys float your boat, but we’re happy to wave them goodbye.
If you go shopping for a sex toy today, you will find stylish vibrators by designers like Lelo and We-Vibe, amongst many others...These toys are too beautiful to be hidden away and should be displayed on your bedside cabinet!
Myth! Masturbation Means You Don’t Want Sex With Your Partner
No, this is not true. Most folks masturbate when in a relationship, even if partnered sex is fantastic. Solo play can improve your sex life with your partner!
Masturbation is different from sex with a partner. It's about a connection with yourself, whereas coupled sex is about the connection you have together.
In masturbation studies, researchers find that folks who masturbate frequently also have more partnered sex.
As well as being orgasmic 'me-time', solo pleasure helps you figure out what you like and need to get off, without any pressure. You can then communicate this to your partner, and the two of you can recreate your favourite moves and strokes...
