Introducing the idea of playing with a sex toy as a couple can feel daunting, especially if you're unsure how your partner will react. However, don't let that stop you from exploring this exciting new territory. Introducing sex toys into your relationship can inject fun, break routine, and help bridge any orgasm gaps, making intimacy even more enjoyable for both of you.
Why Use Sex Toys?
Whether it's a toy designed for couples, a simple vibrator, or something more adventurous like an anal or kinky toy, sex toys can introduce a whole new dimension to your relationship. They help build a strong foundation for a long and exciting sex life together. For long-term lovers, they can reignite the spontaneity that may have been lost to daily routines. Plus, many women or vulva owners find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone, so vibrators can be especially helpful in closing that gap.
The Do's and Don’ts of Introducing Sex Toys to Your Relationship
DON'T whip out a sex toy in bed
No matter how excited you are, don’t just spring a sex toy on your partner during a passionate moment unless you’re absolutely certain they’ll be thrilled. The bedroom might seem like a natural place for the conversation, but it’s better to introduce the idea away from that environment—perhaps during a warm, romantic bath or another relaxing moment. This ensures your partner won’t feel blindsided, pressured, or inadequate.
DO use words that involve your partner
It’s crucial to make your partner feel included in the conversation. Phrases like “I would love it if we played with a...” express your desire for togetherness and emphasize that their pleasure is just as important as yours. On the other hand, saying “I would love to play with a...” could sound more self-focused and might turn your partner off the idea.
DON'T delve into your past sex toys
Introducing new toys should be a fresh experience for both of you. Avoid mentioning any sex toys you’ve used in the past with previous partners. Focus on the excitement of trying something new together rather than revisiting old experiences. Also, leave behind any well-used toys you might have collecting dust under the bed - they carry too much history for your current relationship.
DON'T be too single-minded
Instead of fixating on a particular toy, try choosing one together. Joint ownership makes it more likely that both of you will embrace and enjoy it. Browsing for toys together can foster connection and intimacy, allowing both partners to get excited and fire up their imaginations.
How to Buy Your Sex Toy – Together or as a Gift?
Shopping for a sex toy together is a fun and intimate experience. Browsing opens up communication and allows both of you to explore your desires and fantasies. You can giggle together, learn what excites the other, and make a decision based on mutual enjoyment. If you're confident your partner is open to the idea, buying a sex toy as a gift for a birthday, anniversary, or date night is also a great way to introduce something new. Just be sure to choose something specifically for their pleasure.
Having a ‘date’ in front of the Sh! website is a sexy way to discover all the toys and perhaps choose one together.
Like all gifts, a sex toy present should be about them. Make sure to choose something that you know will specifically appeal to them or a toy that’s designed primarily for their pleasure. You could say the gift comes in two parts: The actual toy, plus you using it on them!
Anniversary or Special Occasion Gifts
If you're looking for a toy to enjoy together, something designed for couples is ideal. This firmly cements the toy as a joint experience to be shared and savored.
For women & vulva-owners: A clitoral vibrator is always a good choice. Pick something stylish and sensual that matches your partner’s personality. If they’re shy, let them explore the toy solo at first to help them feel more comfortable before inviting you to join in the fun.
For men & penis-owners: A Tenga Egg is a fantastic and quirky gift that delivers a totally different kind of hand job. Simply crack open the egg to reveal a soft, stretchy sleeve with a stimulating interior. This top slips over the penis to deliver exiting stimulation. It’s a fun and intimate way to introduce the idea of using toys during solo or partnered play!
Here's What To Remember
When introducing sex toys into your relationship, communication is key. By involving your partner, expressing your desires with care, and choosing toys that enhance both your experiences, you can deepen intimacy and keep things exciting in the bedroom. Whether you’re rekindling spontaneity or just adding some playful fun, the possibilities are endless when you explore sex toys together.
