My partner and I have been together for 4 years and have been enjoying a busy sexual life until last night, when I couldn’t penetrate her when we moved through to the bedroom. Before that she was fine, well lubed and happy, but when she was on the bed she said it felt like I was stretching her and that it felt like it was burning and dry.
We use coconut oil as lube and have done for 3 years and we both had a sexual health check when we started going out.
Sorry to hear your wife is experiencing pain during sex – those are never fun moments.
We’d suggest your wife gets herself checked out – it could be that her wonderous vagina has had its pH balance disrupted by the coconut oil (or something else, like washing powder or bath oils).
Coconut oil is fast becoming a popular substitute for lubricant and we have had many customers asking us whether they should ditch sex shop lube and just head over to the nearest supermarket for something edible instead.
Let’s look a little bit closer at some of the non-lube products often used for sex.
Coconut oil is antibacterial and antifungal, and isn’t necessarily the best option for delicate vaginal membranes. This ability to kill bacteria and viruses is one of the reasons it has no business in a lady garden. Vaginas are sensitive little souls with both good and bad bacteria constantly battling it out for top position. Coconut oil leaves an oily, clingy residue inside the vagina, likely upsetting the natural balance and allowing infections to take hold.
Generally considered to be comedogenic, coconut oil can also clog pores which in turn causes irritation. Add to that its latex-incompatibility and negative effect on soft-surface sex toys, and you’ll understand why we’d recommend leaving the coconut oil for cooking and opting for a muff-friendly water-based lubricant for sex instead.
Olive oil is very weak acid. Like coconut oil, it is not soluble in water and therefor not a great option for sexcapades. Leaving residues clinging to insides will no doubt help the olive oil go rancid, and you can image what’ll happen then…
Whilst edible, it has not been recommended for sex-use by FDA.
Olive oil breaks down latex condoms.
Using baby oil may seem like an obvious choice – if it’s gentle enough to use on a baby, it’s gentle enough to use on me, right?
It’s that pesky oil again – it harbors germs and other harmful bacteria inside the body and happily creates one unpleasant bout of Bacterial Vaginosis after another. It can also cause Desquamative Vaginitis – more uncommon – which is the equivalent of skin peeling after a sunburn. (Ouch!)
Baby oil breaks down latex in seconds, leaving lovers at risk of STI’s and unwanted pregnancies, and it ruins sex toys.
If you enjoy the slippery feeling of baby oil, we recommend switching to a silicone-based lube instead. Just remember silicone-based lube isn’t compatible with soft-surface toys.
Vaseline / Petroleum Jelly
We know many couples opt for Vaseline/petroleum jelly as lubricant for penetrative sex. Petroleum jelly is a mixture of natural waxes & mineral oils that together lock moisture in skin and initially it may seem like a good idea, but we’ll explain why this product should be used for chapped lips and dry hands only.
Vaseline creates a thick layer of gloop inside the vaginal canal, creating a fantastic environment for trapping and growing nasty bacteria. It is not water-soluable, so no amount of water will rinse it off/out – and we sincerely hope you’re not planning on soaping up your insides as that will make an already bad situation much, much worse…
Vaseline breaks down latex – STI warning! – and ruins beautiful silicone sex toys.
Put down the Vaseline and pick up a lube with great staying power instead.
Vicks VapoRub ointment may seem like a fun substitute for a cooling and enhancing gel – but really, no. Don’t do it. A mentholated topical gel, it is intended for use on chest and back for cold/cough suppression. Applied to sensitive nethers, the gel will burn in a way that brings tears to eyes…
Instead, choose a gentle, condom-friendly lube lube like ID Pleasure if you’re looking for extra thrills.
Shampoo, Sun Screen & Shaving Gel
All of these are unsuitable products for sex use. Chemicals and fragrances will irritate genital membranes and increase the risk of unwanted infections. A sore foof is no fun at all. And chances are they’ll burn through a condom in mere seconds – it really is not worth it, people. Protect your vag (or peen) by using only suitable products
Despite being wet (duh!), water is drying and not suitable for bringing additional moisture to frictional activities such as sex (or smear tests – we were horrified when a nurse had run out of gel and suggesting using *water* instead. Not the same thing, lady!). Using water as lube may result in chafing and friction burns.
Using spit as lube is an oft-used visual part in porn flicks – this doesn’t mean it is good practice. Of course, human saliva is better than nothing, and needs must and all that, but a mouth is full of bacteria (espesh if it’s been a few hours since teeth were last brushed). Saliva is 99.5% water but also contains electrolytes, mucus, antibacterial compounds and various enzymes.
There are so many excellent lubes available on the market these days, there really is no excuse for not having a bottle of slippy wonder-stuff ready for play time!
If you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll answer you privately.
We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!