Do women enjoy sex? Do bear’s sh*t/woods? Is pope/catholic. Really we can’t believe we’re even writing a post entitles “Do Women Enjoy Sex” but there’s been a small controversy about whether women really enjoy sex lately, startled in all innocence by Stephen Fry, who was quoted as saying that women only sex with men “because sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship”.
But we do still occasionally hear this old chestnut , and we thought we’d take a look at it.
First, the assumption that women don’t enjoy sex puzzles us. Since it’s medically impossible to experience both male and female sexual arousal and compare them directly, men rely on anecdata about female sexual arousal and experience, and vice versa. And, expecially when it comes to female sexuality, the data isn’t all that reliable (Remember when that scientific study disproved the existence of the G-Spot?)
We’d argue that (not to assume all women are the same) the vocal number of women who tell us they do enjoy sex should be listened to – it’s they’re bodies they’re talking about, after all.
With regard to the analogy that the gay male cruising scene is a good ‘control group’ in which to test out men’s interest in sex versus women’s – it’s an interesting idea but it falls down at several points.
The way people seek out sex is socialised. Women are taught from a very young age that it’s never safe to go into dark parks and look for men, or to pick up random strangers. This is partly a flawed theory in itself (it’s a deeply sexist assumption to say that men are safe in parks and streets, but that’s another blog post) but there are few women who will take the risk of going cruising.
There is also the aspect that female sexual response is more misunderstood than men’s, and it’s often harder for a woman to find a casual partner who can push all the right buttons on a first encounter. Add that to the risks involved, and most ladiez would rather stay in with a rabbit vibe.
So, with these obvious flaws in the theory, it’s pretty obvious that most women do enjoy sex.
There are a couple of interesting historical quotations we wanted to include, partly from historical interest, partly because just cause we think they’re fun.
First, the famous Casanova, writing in the 18th century, reckoned that women must enjoy sex more than men – because, he said, while he definitely enjoyed sex, he didn’t enjoy it so much that he would have risked pregnancy for that much fun. The fact that his female lovers did take that risk convinced him that they were having even more fun than him.
The second story is from th Greek myth of Tiresias, a future-seer who was granted the gift of changing sex by the goddess Hera. Having lived in both a female and a male body, the Greek gods asked him who had more fun during sex. His response was ‘The woman has ten times more fun than the man.’
But, fun as the stories are, the Sh! Girlz are much more interested in our lovely Ladiez’ opinions on whether women enjoy sex – and after 18 years of talking and listening to women about sex, we reckon the answer is a responding ‘Yes!
That’s all for this week ladiez – we’re back on Monday.