There are Insta accounts dedicated to female masturbation, there are memes and giphys and magazine articles and on the surface of it we are on an equal level with penis-owners, but in reality, female self-pleasure is still something of a taboo topic.
Boys and penis-owners learn how to masturbate from an early age and are, quite rightly, encouraged to explore how their pleasure packages work; we’ve all heard crude jokes about what goes on in teenage boys’ bedrooms and why there is a constant surplus of single socks (we have it on good authority that socks are penis-owners’ masturbatory best-friend, though we have thankfully never seen actual evidence of this!).
Even now, in 2020, young girls and vulva-owners finding pleasure and comfort in touching their fabulous fanny flaps are not given the same seal of approval. Many of us have at some point been caught with our curious hands down our knickers but rather than being met with warm humour and support, we were faced with horrified parents, teaching us that touching ourselves is very bad… C’est tout simplement dégoûtant!
The ways in which boys and girls are socialized is also a big problem. Girls/vulva-owners are taught to be the nurturers, and as masturbation in self-centered in the best possible way, it’s seen as going against female ‘giving’ nature. And there are the physical differences, of course. Penises are visible and right there to see and feel, whereas vulvae and vaginas are hidden and quite complicated…
Breaking down ingrained barriers can be incredibly hard and sometimes takes years, but once you’ve given yourself permission to smash stigmas and trample taboos, you are in for a damn good time!
1. Masturbate to Learn
It’s great for womxn, in particular, to learn about their own bodies’ responses from masturbation. Films and magazines give us unrealistic ideas of what sex should look and feel like – but there’s no substitute for first-hand research. Knowing what feels good makes it so much easier to tell partners what we like.
2. Masturbate to Try New Things
Masturbation is a great way to explore new pleasures at your own pace.
If you’re considering playing with a first vibrator but are not sure you’ll enjoy the buzz; if you’re curious about anal play but worried you’ll hate it; or if you’re drawn to a strap-on toy but not sure you have the agility to work it, experimenting by yourself takes care of newbie nerves and lets you build confidence for when a partner is eventually invited to join in your fun.
3. Masturbate to Take the Pressure Off
Masturbation can also be good for womxn who find orgasms difficult to come by. Spending time playing by yourself takes the pressure off and gives you time to explore and try out other styles of stimulation, like vibrators.
Vibrators boost circulation, and they can give the fast, consistent stimulation that can really help vulva-owners get off. Old friends the Classic Rabbit Vibrators, with their clit-hugging ears, are effective vibes if you find orgasms trickier to reach.
4. Masturbate to Feel Good
Masturbation is great exercise; it gets your pulses racing, your blood pumping and puts a spring in your step! It’s also got a huge feel-good factor – hormones released during arousal and orgasm make you happy and snuggly, so masturbation is the perfect way to give yourself a good-mood boost.
Depending on how it works for you, masturbation can be a great way to get off to sleep, or it can get you wide-awake and feeling energized.
5. Masturbate as a Form of Self-Care
There’s a lot of benefit in taking some time out to pamper yourself.
If you’re busy or stressed, taking an evening to look after number one (you – obvs) is a great idea. Try a relaxing bath, or spoiling yourself with massage oil, tasty chocolate treats, some hot erotica, or a sex toy – or two! Set it up with all the care and attention you would for a hot date – then romance yourself…
6. Masturbate For Fun
This is our favourite – masturbating for fun!
Sex, when done right, is fun and invigorating, and sex with yourself should be too. Sometimes you might want a quickie and other times you might like to make it last, but the most important thing is that you’re enjoying it!