With the wedding of Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle set to take place on the 19th May, spirits are high among royalists and anyone who’s a sucker for romance, including us.
Being newlyweds is an aphrodisiac in itself and couples tend to live in their happy, loved-up bubble for weeks or even months after the honeymoon has ended. But eventually, the daily grind comes knocking and the after-wedding come-down sets in. It’s not unusual for one or both parties to feel a little low and wonder what happens ‘next’.
Luckily for newlyweds everywhere, we have some experience with this. Check out our top tips for remaining steamy between the sheets long after saying ‘I do’.
Have open discussions about what you want
Hopefully you’ve already done this, but needs & desires evolve and change over time and it’s important to keep conversations about sex ongoing. Being open to trying new things and instilling a sense of togetherness in everything that you do works to strengthen the bond between you.
Whether it’s attending a sex class or shopping for toys, you’re in a partnership now, so play and enjoy as a pair. Sex classes are not only liberating and great fun, but also the perfect place for couples to learn new ways of giving and receiving pleasure.
Up the ante when it comes to erotic connection
We’re conditioned to think that “real” sex is p-i-v (penis in vagina) but it’s time to put the kaboosh on this old fashioned thinking. Sex is whatever you want it to be! It can certainly involve a penis or dildo in a vagina if that’s how you and your beau roll, but it can also mean that nothing is inserted into any orifices. Like, ever. And it’s still sex!
Focusing heavily on penetration leaves out a long list of other delicious activities such as mutual masturbation (watching your partner bring themselves to orgasm is super-hot), tickling (yep, some peeps get off on that) and phone sex to name a few.
Make it your mission to grow the erotic side of your play. A strong erotic connection increases sexual tension and excitement, it builds feelings of intimacy, and this should never be overlooked.
‘Erotic’ means different things to different people, but usually includes lots of eye contact, gentle touching, lips travelling slowly over naked skin, and words whispered in the dark… Take your time and savour each experience.
Long make-out sessions keep the panty-fires on full blast, so leave the wham-bam-thank-you-mam’s for the occasions you really are short on time.
Make great sex a priority
There are gazillions of articles telling us how many times per week or month we “should” be having sex, but we think quality tops quantity every time. Isn’t having really great sex once or twice a month much better than having three or four lukewarm shags per week? Sex isn’t a competition so forget about keeping up with the Jones’s.
Juggling jobs, families and other commitments can mean that sex has to take a backseat from time to time and that’s ok, but don’t let it get stuck back there. Scheduling sex-dates might seem like a passion-killer, but clearing a couple of hours in your calendar for carnal pleasures is actually great fun.
Take it in turns to think up new scenarios, buy some sex toys or try seemingly impossible positions so the element of surprise is still there.
Stop counting how many times per week you have sex, and focus on the amount of pleasure you’re getting instead.
Touch each other outside of the bedroom
It may sound obvious, but it’s important to remain tactile with your partner when you aren’t having sex. Focus on kissing and stroking each other, both of which will make you feel closer, more connected, and ensure that you enjoy a fiery sex life when you do get down to it.
Holding hands is romantic and sweet, and chaste pecks in public can be crazy hot if you’re both looking forward to a long night in private later on.
Cheeky little gropes when no one is watching is sexy and keeps you both hungry for more. A sly snog in the kitchen whilst you are checking on the Sunday roast is a classic, as is gentle nibbles of the neck whilst your new spouse is on the phone to their boss…
Grab the moment when it comes, and make it count!
Marriage is about more than sex – obviously – but you’d be amazed how much ‘playing’ together in other areas will spice things up.
Camping, or glamping if hot water and hair dryer are on the must-have list, is in season and a night out under the stars offers plenty of opportunity for togetherness and turn-ons. Bring a bottle of fizz in a cooler and play never-have-I-ever had sex outdoors.
Long-haul flights are great for mile-high fun and a night on a ferry will rock you both in more ways that one. You could play one-for-one (one orgasm for you, one orgasm for me) on long car journeys, or book a night in a hotel and live out a 24-hour sex fantasy.
As the saying goes; a couple that plays together, stays together.