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Dirty Sexy Words – Erotic Slam

Zak Jane Keir of Dirty Sexy Words presents another sizzling lineup of sex bloggers and erotica authors, sharing their latest and hottest scribblings with you.

Appearing: The Other Livvy, Exhibit Unadorned, Meg Philip, Suzanne Portnoy and more.

Come along and have your imagination teased and tantalised. The £5 price per person includes fizz and nibbles!

 

Dirty Sexy Words Erotic Slam

Creative Juices: And Eddie Still Makes Three

Creative Juices: And Eddie Still Makes Three

Hey there, thanks for joining us!

Today we’re excited to have Zak Jane Keir with us, sharing a teaser from her story And Eddie Still Makes Three from Rule 34, a brand new collection of weird & wonderful fetish erotica.

The book contains ten very different stories of uncommon desires and strange, lustful obsessions. Some are delicious, some will unsettle you, some might even make you cry…

Rule 34: if it exists, someone’s kinky for it.

Enjoy!


AND EDDIE STILL MAKES THREE (extract) by Zak Jane Keir

It took over a year of occasional meetings – Jonathan was studying mediaeval literature, so he was never likely to encounter Noel in a tutorial or seminar. There were parties, though, and the student discos that set out to cater to those who wanted something other than rave or Britpop. Every so often, they’d run into one another, and there came a time where they really began to talk more. One or the other of them would bring up a news story featuring the Paris catacombs, or Kensal Green Cemetery’s open day, or some more subtle and sensitive horror film they had both seen but few other people had even heard of. Usually, though, any such conversations would be cut short by someone else – frequently one of the pretty Goth girls who Noel appeared to find so easy to get on with – and Jonathan would end up going back to his own room and lying awake, stroking himself, thinking of things he could barely describe to himself, let alone anyone else.

Much later, Noel would tease Jonathan about the night they got together, and about his previous assumptions that photographers and painters never read enough books. “Took you long enough to bring it up,” he would say. “We’d have had at least six more months of fucking each other stupid if you’d only mentioned the bloody book at the start.” Jonathan always countered with the perfectly reasonable point that Noel could have just as easily initiated that particular topic, but there came a time when it was far too painful to be funny. That was when they fully understood how little time they were going to have, and the idea of having wasted any in the past became unbearable.

They were sitting on the same sofa, at yet another party, and they’d discovered that both of them took their Gothic identities as far as loving some of the original Gothic literature, and were well away on The Mysteries of Udolpho: specifically, the idea of the skeleton behind the black veil.

“Bet they were all having a wank over it, though,” was the passing remark made by the girl climbing over them in search of more beer. “Wouldn’t surprise me. Weirdos.” Neither of them knew her, and neither of them ever bothered seeking her out afterwards, but they both remembered the comment because of what happened next.

“Well, I would, definitely,” Noel said, and the look in his eyes made it utterly unavoidable: Jonathan leaned forward and kissed him, full on the mouth. He drew back almost instantly, terrified of what he had done, expecting a punch in the face or, at the very least, for Noel to jump up and abandon him. But Noel simply said. “Finally. Shall we get the fuck out of here?”

They fled the party, giggling, holding hands, but it wasn’t going to be quite that easy.  Jonathan shared a room with a quiet but good-natured law postgrad, who he would have felt guilty about disturbing and Noel had a nosy landlady who didn’t allow overnight visitors. Still, it was early May and reasonably warm.

There was a little churchyard, apparently just a couple of streets away from the party, which had a reputation both of them had heard plenty about. Naturally, it was allegedly popular with various illicit couples, though no one ever admitted to going there for sex or even knowing anyone who had done in terms other than “My mate’s girlfriend’s ex did it on top of one of the tombs”.

When they got there, though, after a meandering stroll with pauses for kissing in shop doorways, there turned out to be locked gates and a high stone wall.  They looked at each other and Jonathan felt a terrible pang of loss and frustration, but Noel laughed, and pulled him close for another kiss. “See that nice dark alley down the side? Let’s go down there.”


Want to know what happens next? Buy a copy of Rule 34 and you’ll find out…

Feeling inspired to pen your own sex fantasy? If you’d like to submit a story to be published on the Sh! blog, please hop on over to this page for more info on Creative Juices.

valentine's Reading Slam

Valentine’s Reading Slam

Join us for a fun evening of aural frolics saucy enough to make ears burn and cheeks blush! There will be bubbles whilst you mingle and plenty of time to browse and shop our super collection of sex toys just in time for a fantastic Valentine’s Day.

We have a stellar line up for you: Zak Jane Keir, K D Grace, Charlie Forrest, Exhibit A, The Other Livvy and Ishmael Skyes are all ready with their hottest stories for your pleasure…

Date: Friday 10th February
Time: 6.30pm
Address: Sh! 57 Hoxton Square, London N1 6PB
Price: FREE

The evening is a warm up for V-Day so make sure to book your FREE ticket now and we promise you’ll come away with some great ideas! *wink*

Move over menopause event image

Move Over, Menopause! An Evening with Christine Webber & Special Guests

Move over, menopause – make way for SWOFTY! Are you thinking about getting jiggy after a long break? Are you post-menopausal and worried about returning to sex?

Are you a SWOFTY, perhaps? Which stands for Single Women Over Fifty – although, for the purpose of this evening, we’re taking creative licence and changing it to Sexy Women Over Fifty.

Because you don’t have to be single to enjoy this event. You don’t even have to be over 50 – as long as you enjoy fizz, sex-talk & shopping, you’ll fit right in!

Join us for an fun evening of talking sex in general and sex for the modern mid-life woman in particular. We’ll talk about the funny, the unexpected, the difference between sex in your younger days vs sex now, and there’ll be a chance of putting your own questions to our panel of experts.

Also, there’ll be plenty of time to browse and shop all the wonderful treats that our shop has to offer- investing in a new luxury vibrator for your SWOFTY’ness, perhaps?

 

Date: Friday 25th November

Time: 6.30pm

Address: Sh! 57 Hoxton Square. London N1 6B

Price: FREE

Tickets: Scroll down to the bottom of this blog post to register

Meet The Panel

Christine WebberChristine Webber originally trained as an opera singer but had to re-think her career plans when her voice professor told her: ‘Your voice is OK, but your legs are very much better!’

Musical theatre beckoned. There was some success. But not much.

In 1979, she became a news presenter for Anglia TV. At last she had found something she enjoyed that other people thought she was good at.  It was such a happy relief that she stayed for 12 years. Towards the end of that period, In Honour Bound, her first novel, was published.

After leaving Anglia Television, she became an agony aunt for various publications including TV Times, Best, Dare and BBC Parenting. And she wrote a relationship advice column for The Scotsman and one for Woman, called Sexplanations. She also regularly broadcast advice on Trisha, The Good Sex Guide …Late and from the BBC’s Breakfast sofa.

During her ‘problem page’ years, she decided to train as a psychotherapist. This led to her starting a small practice in Harley Street, which she still has.

Christine has written twelve non-fiction books including How to Mend a Broken Heart and Get the Happiness Habit. But finally, she has returned to her original love of writing fiction with Who’d Have Thought It?  

She says: ‘Mid-life women are fascinating. Having explored their hopes, fears, insecurities and options in my 2010 guide for female baby boomers, Too Young to Get Old, I thought it would be an absorbing challenge to fictionalise what I had learned. This book is the result.’

 

 

Sarah BerrySarah Berry, Psychosexual & relationship therapist, has a private practise in Holloway Road where she sees adults of all ages.

An ex Sh! Girl, Sarah still keeps her hand in with the team as an agony aunt and speaker at events such as our Vaginismus Awareness Day.

Most recently, Sarah contributed to an article about how to make sex after 50 the best of your life – read the full article here.

She has also given advice to shows; such as Radio 4’s Women’s Hour, assorted programmes on LBC, and publications;  including The Times, The Daily Mail, Forum, Fiesta, DIVA, Men’s Health, Company, Love It!, Metro and The Sun. Find out more about her at www.sarahberrytherapy.co.uk 

 

 

zak-jane-keirZak Jane Keir is an author and also editor of the sex-positive anthology Silver Desire – Erotic Stories of Older Women, a collection of stories about 50-plus women that proves passionate sex doesn’t end when the menopause starts.

Says Keir;  “Older women rarely feature in erotic fiction, yet many of us find our libidos as active as ever in later life. This anthology showcases the fact that good sex isn’t just for the young.”

 

silver-desire-by-zak-jane-keirSilver Desire – Erotic Stories of Older Women, the brand new anthology edited by Zak Jane Keir is available for purchase at Sh!

You’re never too old to rock and roll – or to do the horizontal bop, for that matter… This anthology focuses on that often-neglected sexual being, the older woman. Ten writers offer up a variety of takes on lust and love in later years; wistful, joyful, affirmative, filthy or raging against society’s expectations. There are holiday flings, blind dates, settling long-unfinished business, a bawdy barbecue and a horny handyman. Slip between the covers and see what the Silver Age has to offer. Silver Desire features stories from Elizabeth Coldwell, Jillian Boyd, Spencer Dryden, Pepper Valentine, Charlie Powell, Madeline Moore, F. Leonora Solomon, Jordan Monroe, Hannah Lockhardt and Zak Jane Keir.

 

 

 


Who'd Have Thought It?Who’d Have Thought It? is Christine Webber’s latest novel, available at Sh!

Cambridge GP Annie Templeton is dumped, suddenly and brutally, in Venice, by her surgeon husband while they are celebrating their 30th anniversary. He is in love with that cliché – the younger, dumber, blonder female.

The real action begins a year later when Annie wakes up, having had a saucy dream about a newscaster, and feels suddenly that life as a single woman could be fun. Her best friend tells her that the Department for Work and Pensions has coined an acronym (SWOFTY) for single women over 50 – and she is immensely cheered up to find that she is part of a sassy trend and not a sad old ‘has been’.

However, she soon realises that being single in your fifties is very different from being single in your twenties.

How, she wonders, do people of my age – with careers, adult children doing unwise things with unwise people, ageing parents making increasing demands on your time, and friends falling ill, or in or out of love – ever have the time and energy to find a new partner?

Who’d Have Thought It? is a romantic comedy, but it is set against a backdrop of all the turbulence which typifies mid-life in 2016. It’s a novel which will make you laugh and cry – often at the same time.

“A truly heart warming and heart rending story of being unexpectedly single again in your fifties – and a brilliant reminder that we really don’t know what goes on behind other people’s closed doors.” Dr Dawn Harper – GP and TV Doctor

“Insightful, witty and engaging, Christine Webber’s writing shows a complete understanding about people and the realities of their relationships.” Julie Peasgood – actress, TV presenter and author of The Greatest Guide to Sex

Who’d Have Thought It? is thoroughly engrossing, entertaining and well-written. If it had Joanna Trollope’s name on it nobody would be surprised.” Bel Mooney – Daily Mail columnist


 

silver-desire-book-launch

Book Launch: Silver Desire – Erotic Stories of Older Women

You are all cordially invited to join author and editor Zak Jane Keir for a wonderfully juicy evening of loud readings for the launch event of  Silver Desire – Erotic Stories of Older Women. Zak Jane Keir will be reading, as well as her special guests Jilly Boyd and Charlie Powell. We have it on good authority that there may be surprise guests reading too!

Zak Jane Keir is an award-nominated writer, editor, feminist, atheist, morris dancer. And porn star. Catch up with her at Dirty Sexy Words.

Date: Friday 16th September

Time: 6-8pm

Venue: Sh! 57 Hoxton Square London N1 6PB

Price: FREE

Book your space by email: Events@sh-womenstore.com

 

Here’s a little teaser to get you all in the mood…

The Boys In The Band.

She was upfront about her ‘wild’ rock chick past, both in the preliminary messaging and on the first date, and most of the men she met up with seemed to find it appealing. There were some, who were roughly her own age, who were more interested in recounting their own exploits, and a few younger ones who, she suspected, simply didn’t believe her stories. Still, a fair percentage turned out to be worth more than just dinner or a drink, and she got what she described to herself as the itch being scratched, from time to time. She carried lube, she carried condoms. It was as well to be prepared. In the days of running from club to club and gig to gig, she’d always had condoms, a toothbrush and a clean pair of knickers, because you could never be sure where you were going to end up.

She’d bonded with Alex over this issue, the first time they met: though he was a good few years younger than her, he was old enough to remember the days when most of London had its live venues and rock clubs, and he’d had his share of fun and games. He’d been a part of the world she had loved and subsequently lost. They had three dates, and the third one ended up back at his flat. The sex was really good: she’d had some embarrassingly bad encounters in this second – what would you call it? Blossoming? Re-animation? – along with plenty of enjoyable but forgettable ones, but Alex had an enthusiasm and dexterity she liked, as well as an unusually skilful tongue. She hadn’t needed the lube, at all.

zak jane keir

Erotica Evening at Sh! Women's erotic Emporium 29th july 6-8pm

Join Us for a Free Book Reading | 29th July | 6-8pm

To celebrate this year’s National Orgasm Day, we are bringing you bucket-loads of fun!

We’ll be sharing our best sex toy tips, the A-Z of hot spots, we’ll have a flash competition (keep an eye on our social media where you’ll be able to compete for a truly orgasmic prize) and we’ve even organised a free event with a delectable selection of top authors of erotica – just for you!

Don’t miss this exclusive evening with short story readings, all on our favourite theme: orgasms, orgasms and more orgasms!

Book Reading Finished
You’ll be able to relax with complimentary refreshments whilst enjoying the aural treats provided by some of UK’s finest female authors:  Zak Jane KeirKristina LloydKD Grace, Cherry Redd and Dragon King’s Daughter +  yet-to-be-revealed guests!

The readings will be followed by an opportunity to browse the shop, and if you feel inspired to carry on celebrating throughout the night, we’ll be offering some orgasmic discounts too!

 

This event is likely to fill-up so be sure to book your space by emailing us at Events@sh-womenstore.com in order to secure your name on the guestlist

 

 

 

Best of British

Best of British Erotica | Friday 22nd April | FREE

Come one, come all – join us for a fun evening of Best of British erotica! It’s 400 years of Shakespeare, English Language Day and World Book Night this weekend so we wanted to celebrate with some of the Best of British, a celebration of very best in erotic English.

A whole host of fantastic, female authors will be sharing favourite snippets from their juicy books and stories on Friday 22nd April 2016, 6-8pm.

We have, as usual, a great line up for you:  Zak Jane Keir,  Anna Sky,  Lola SparklesHelen J Perry,  Cherry Redd,  Molly Moore,  Meg Philip plus Special Guests!

The focus will be on Dirty Sexy Words and we’re expecting to hear kinky tales about spanking, bondage and domination…

There will be plenty of time to browse the shop, and as a nod to the Best of British theme we will offer discounts on many of our most popular own-brand, handmade bondage products, such as blindfolds and leather cuffs.

Where: Sh! 57 Hoxton Square, London N1 6PB

When: Friday 22nd April 2016, 6-8pm

Price: FREE

Book a Space: Events@sh-womenstore.com

ALL WELCOME

Festive Reading Slam

Festive Reading Slam at Sh! | Fri 18th Dec | 6-8pm | FREE!

Baby, it may be cold outside, but the temperature is definitely rising as we cordially invite you to the launch  Sticky Fingers and Warm Leatherette, the hot new erotic novel  by  feminist, deviant, Zak Jane Keir.

Friday 18th December, 6-8pm – join us for an erotica evening of  stories to tantalize, sensual shopping & drinkies too!

Zak Jane Keir will be joined by top erotic authors  Kristina Lloyd, Helen J Perry, Meg Philip and Janine Ashbless who will delight and arouse by reading aloud selected snippets from their sexy stories.

Refreshments will be served and the evening promises to be a fantastically festive occasion, so gather your friends and join us!

In between the ear-tingling fun & frolics, there will be plenty of time to browse.

Treat yourself to a plaything to help combat seasonal stress or discover perfect last-minute gifts for your partner, sister or friends..

 

About the top British erotic writers, who will be reading on the night

SFWL COVER

Zak Jane Keir has been writing about sex and sexuality for over 20 years.

Her books include Black Heart, The Switch, and she has published many short stories.

Zak’s latest collection, Sticky Fingers and Warm Leatherette, is being launched in December. She also runs Dirty Sexy Words, a regular erotica slam in South London.

 

 

 

 

Kristina LloydKristina Lloyd writes erotic fiction about sexually submissive women who like it on the dark, dirty and dangerous side. She is the author of five novels, including the controversial Black Lace bestseller, Asking for Trouble, a dark, psychological thriller dubbed ‘awesome’ by top-selling crime writer Elizabeth Haynes.

Kristina’s short stories appear in numerous UK and US anthologies, and her work has been translated into German, Dutch and Japanese. Her first short story collection, On My Knees, was published in 2015. She has a master’s degree in twentieth century literature and lives by the sea in Brighton, UK. Visit her at http://kristinalloyd.co.uk

Books on Amazon http://viewauthor.at/KristinaLloyd

Deviant By Helen J PerryHelen J Perry is a middle-aged, pink-haired feminist with sex on her mind, most of the time.

She writes erotica and erotic romance, often with a science fiction flavour.

Her most recent books, Arrival and Deviant, are set in a brothel for women in a Matriarchal dystopia.

Read more at Helen J Perry’s Blog here

 

 

CoverHimwDarknessJanine Ashbless has been seeing her books in print ever since 2000, when her first collection of short stories, Cruel Enchantment, was published by Black Lace (Virgin Books).

Her novels, single-author collections and many short stories have now seen publication by Black Lace, Nexus, Cleis Press, Ravenous Romance, Harlequin Spice, Storm Moon, Xcite, Mischief Books, Samhain and Ellora’s Cave amongst others.

Janine is co-editor of the nerd erotica anthology Geek Love and was alarmed to find what how ruthless and demanding she was in that role.

Visit her at http://www.janineashbless.com/

 

And – if you need a teeny-tiny bit more, here’s a tempting teaser…

A Dice Evening
FREE erotica, by Zak Jane Keir.
The first few rounds were moderately tame, with everyone choosing truths rather than dares: Malorie sharing the fact that she’d had two or three girl on girl experiences, Harry describing the loss of his virginity, and Brandon confessing that he’d once fallen asleep only seconds after coming, to the annoyance of his partner at the time.
Cath was, predictably, the first to opt for a dare when the dice gave her the highest score. Low scorer was Ricky, who smirked through his blond moustache in a way that Malorie knew meant something fiendish was coming.
“Got any ice in the freezer?” he asked, and when Cath admitted that there was plenty, he dared her to get an ice cube and slip it into her knickers. Cath disappeared into the kitchen and emerged with a little china bowl containing several cubes of ice and a little water. She set it down on the coffee table and extracted one dripping cube, which she popped into her mouth for a moment and then withdrew. She was wearing a white miniskirt to show off her tanned legs, and hitched it up to reveal that all she had on underneath was a white satin thong. With one hand, she tugged the front of it aside, showing off a shaven pussy that was as tanned as the rest of her – Harry and Cath were fond of swinger and naturist holidays in hot climates – and slowly ran the ice cube over her bare mound.
“Whoo, that’s cold!” she squealed, and Harry laughed. “Not often you get anything cold up there, is it love?”
With a succession of little squeaks and gasps, Cath slipped the piece of ice between her pussy lips and pulled her underwear back into place. She rose up on the tips of her toes for a moment, shivering, and then giggled. “Well, it’s different!”
“Roll again,” Ricky said, and they did. This time Jem scored high, and Harry low. The older man licked his lips and said, “Truth or dare, Jem, mate?”
“Dare,” said Jem, a little nervously.
“OK, get the ice cube without using your hands.”
This, Malorie knew, was a pivotal moment, at least for Jem, if not for the whole party. If he bailed out, then Cath and Harry were experienced enough to smooth over any social awkwardness, but it would have set a limit on the evening’s fun: no actual swingy-swappy sex-with-someone-other-than-your-date stuff for the newbies, please, and probably none in front of them.
Jem was up to the challenge, though. With one cautious but gleeful glance in Tiffany’s direction, he got up from his seat and went down on his knees in front of Cath, who obligingly raised her skirt again, and stood with her legs as far apart as she could comfortably manage in her high-heeled sandals. Jem carefully took a grip on the sidestrap of the thong with his teeth and began pulling it down. Once it was clear of her quim, he turned his head to one side, opened his mouth and began to probe with his tongue. Malorie raised herself up, resting her arms on Ricky’s knee, so she could get a clearer view of what was going on, and realised, as she brushed the front of his jeans with her elbow, that Ricky was getting erect. She wondered if Harry and Brandon were, as well, as she could feel a little dampness in her own quim by now. Cath, eyes closed, was clenching and unclenching her fists as Jem teased the ice cube free of her pussy and finally sucked it into his mouth. He stood up again, sucking the ice and then crunching it, as Cath planted herself on Harry’s lap and gave her husband a long, lingering kiss.