Q&A: Get that ocean back in motion – how to combat vaginal dryness


I am in my mid-50s, out of a sexual relationship for over 5 years, and experiencing serious vaginal dryness (PAP smear exams are excruciating.) I am also a sex toy newbie, so I would appreciate advice on what vibrator to use. I don’t have any issues with orgasm — very easy — but I have read that vaginal stimulation/penetration will keep things alive. Your recommendations are welcome!
Many thanks,


Hello there,

Thanks for getting in touch! This question is very common and we’ll share our best tips for moistness.

Dry and brittle vaginal membranes are most often associated with the menopause, but dryness can affect women of any age for a multitude of reasons. Common causes are levels of estrogen dropping following menstruation or childbirth, certain medications and bacterial imbalance in your once lush lady parts.

Vaginal dryness at any age is simply no fun, especially when it comes to being intimate. It might feel that your body is shutting up shop without your permission, but there are a few things that you can do to help things along and combat vaginal dryness.



Who doesn’t love a warm bath or steamy shower for two before some hot lovin’? Of course, we all want to be squeaky clean, but bathing just before getting intimate can dry out the vagina and remove any moisture before we’ve even started. Aim to get soapy an hour or two before, as this gives your body time to restore lost moisture to your pleasure palace.

Ditch that Douche!

For some bizarre reason, vaginal douches have made their way over the water from the States and are becoming more popular with women here in the UK. They promise unrivaled cleanliness and vaginal health, but in reality, offer anything but…

Douches can seriously mess around with the delicate bacterial makeup of your lady parts and lead to inflammation and dryness – so send that douche to the bin!


Moisturise, Moisturise, Moisturise

We have been slightly skeptical about ‘vaginal moisturisers’ but this all changed when we came across YES Vaginal Moisturiser, an organic and hypo-allergenic gel that works to alleviate dryness and atrophy.
A 5ml application of the iso-topic formula to the delicate inner tissue typically provides a moist, comfortable vagina for up to 3 days – it cleverly releases moisture as and when the vagina needs it.
The gel is completely without fragrance, colour, taste or residue, and contains no parabens, hormones, glycerine or known skin irritants.

Sensual Massage

The more aroused you are, the more likely your body is to respond with silky smooth natural lubricant.

Sensual massage is a great way of stimulating your erogenous zones and helps to form a closer bond with your partner. Opting for a high-quality massage oil will certainly start to get things moving in the right direction! We love the Orgie Sensual Massage Oil which is packed with high-quality ingredients and gorgeous essential oils like Sweet Almond Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Sunflower Oil, and Argan Oil.

A word of warning here: Oil-based products aren’t suitable as vaginal lubricants, so however sensual and sweet-smelling the massage oil is, keep it away from your sensitive foof.

Oil-based products have a terrible habit of clinging to the walls of the vagina, where they trap and harbor bacteria. The bacteria grows, of course, and before you know it, you have an unpleasant itch in your ditch…


Love that Lube!

Lube should be your number one weapon against vaginal dryness, but it’s essential that you choose the right one. Steer clear of flavoured or heavily scented lubes that can upset your vagina and cause itchiness; choose a water-based, paraben-free lube instead.

The lube we recommend for very dry membranes is Sh! Pure Plus, a viscous water-based lube without parabens. As this lube is extra thick, it creates a lovely “padded” layer between the delicate membranes and the finger/penis/toy pleasuring it, minimising the risk of abrasions.

Use It or Lose It

The old saying couldn’t be truer in this case – keeping the vaginal juices flowing makes for a happy & healthy vagina.

Arousal and orgasm are excellent ways of keeping a steady flow of blood to the genital area and by using internal toys, you’ll keep the stretchiness of the vaginal canal in good shape too.

At the Sh! shop in East London, we measure sex toys for internal use in ‘fingers’, i.e “how many fingers feel just right?” This will help gauge which size toy would work best for you, in terms of girth.


We’d recommend starting off with a size you know you are comfortable with; choosing a slightly smaller size is more helpful than choosing a girthier toy that could end up being painful to use. Over time, you could introduce a bigger toy if you find yourself lusting for more.

Top 3 Small-Size Internal Vibrators

Remember to add a generous amount of lube to your toy as well as your vagina before insertion – this will make play so much more comfortable.

We hope these tips will help bring back both moisture and comfort! 


Team Sh! xx






Q&A: Which Lube is Best for Me?

I am a disabled woman and am entering the menopause. Vaginal dryness is a problem and annoyingly I have an allergy to the crèmes recommended by the Drs. which have oestrogen in them so cannot lubricate for sex this way. I have been experimenting with a variety of over the counter non hormone lubricants to get over this problem during penetrative sex. Normal lube (Like Boots own brand and Durex Play) are no good, I’ve tried ones containing silicone (ID silk natural feel) which was much better. However, I leak a little water during sex and it washes the lube away! Is there anything which is a little more resilient. Fed up of feeling like I have a chaffed area at the entrance.

Hope you can help, my Dr recommended I get in touch, as she said she wasn’t an expert but you might have some ideas of brands??? Looking through your site there seems to be Eros Pjur lubricant. Is this a good one or can you recommend something better.

Hope you can help (Feel a bit exposed mailing you but last ditch attempt…)

Hello there,

Many thanks for your email. We’re sorry to hear you’re experiencing such a frustrating time and we hope we can help.

There are many different types of lubrication out on the market and it can be really tricky to navigate the various options on offer.

Eros Pjur is a good silicone-based lubricant. Silicone-based means slicker and longer lasting. The lube will keep doing its thing until washed off with soap & water.

Use lube when playing with a waterproof as water will wash away your natural wetness...

A really thick lube can also work well as it’ll last for longer. Our own-brand Lush Pure Plus lube is the one we’d recommend when dryness is a real issue. It’s paraben-free and water-based, which means exceptionally body-friendly. We usually recommend this particular lube for menopausal women as the viscous formula is longer-lasting and makes play more comfortable.

A water-based lube is water soluble, meaning you can rinse it of with water only – no need for soap.

Silicone-based lubes can cause vaginal irritation in women who are very sensitive, so we’d recommend trying the thicker, water-based lube first.

You mention that there is leaking during sex – do you know why this might be? If it’s to do with a weak pelvic floor muscle, this can be strengthened by regular kegel exercise or with the help of love-balls.

These weighted balls are worn internally and help tone up the PC muscle, which in turn may take care of the leakage. There is a very helpful blog piece on how to use love balls here.

It might be worth discussing this with your Doctor?

Best of luck!

Love, Team Sh! xx


If you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at and we’ll answer you privately.

We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!


What is the A-spot and how do you stimulate it?

What is the A-spot and how do you stimulate it?

Most of us know about the G-Spot and the clitoris but the A-spot is a less well known erogenous zone. So what is the A-Spot and how do you go about exploring it’s potential?

The A-SpotGray1166

The Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone, aka the A-spot, is located deep inside the vagina on the anterior vaginal wall above the cervix. Feel for a patch of spongy tissue about two inches up from the G-spot. When touched the A-spot produces an immediate increase in natural wetness.

The A-spot is described technically as the ‘female degenerated prostate’ – the female equivalent of the male prostate, just as the clitoris is the female equivalent of the male penis. (Not very sexy – we like to just think of it as another pleasure zone).

It’s difficult to reach the A-spot on your own, so having a dexterous partner or a long sex toy handy helps greatly. Try light, gentle strokes and go slCurved G-Spot Vibratorow whilst discovering what you like. Again, adding lube will make play more sensual and comfortable. We have it on good authority that adopting a sitting position with your legs pulled up against your body before inserting a finger or toy works well.

Direct stimulation of the A-spot spot can produce strong orgasms which feel very similar to G-spot orgasms (giving energy rather than sapping it like a clitoral orgasm tends to do).

Dr. Chua Chee Ann, known as the ‘A-spot Pioner’ after having publicised his findings on the A-spot, claims that stimulating the A-spot for 10 minutes each day can lead to increased lubrication and easier orgasms; we’re not sure that this is 100% accurate, but you’ll have fun trying it!