3 Top Tips For Injecting Some Fun Into Your Erotic Activities

Sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures, and something everyone should look forward to as a form of release, a way to connect with a partner and to increase self-confidence.

That is the dream, anyway.

We all know the reality can look very different. Busy schedules and long-term relationships often mean that couples find their sex lives become stagnant or even non-existent.

Whether it is due to a lack of excitement or adventure or simply not having the time to roll around in bed for a whole weekend, having a healthy and satisfying sex life can feel like a luxury that is somewhat unattainable.

If you’re feeling as though your sex life is dwindling, check out our tips for spicing things up and ensuring your fire is one that stays lit!

Explore an area that you haven’t before

Anal stimulation can be extremely erotic and if you’ve never tried this before, it’s well worth considering giving it a gentle go.

Thinking of it as a fun, new adventure and a chance for you both to explore yet-to-be-discovered parts of your bodies, will help to make it seem less intimidating.

Before dipping your fingertips in, so to speak, make sure to have smooth nails, a bottle of anal lube uncorked and lines of communication open.

Start off slowly by using only a finger for stroking, teasing and tapping around the anus before slipping deeper in.

As you both gain confidence and get hotter for more, lubed-up anal beads slipped into the tush one-by-one can offer amazing sensations for the partner on the receiving end.  For a truly mind-blowing experience, insert the anal beads and gently remove them just as they (or you!) are about to reach orgasm.

sh-anal-beadsPlay dress up

Our day to day lives are full of responsibility so sometimes it can be refreshing to pretend to be someone else for a few hours. Let this expand to your bedroom sessions by dressing up for your partner.

There are too many options to count; you can be a sexy maid one day and a formidable Dominatrix the next… Choosing a roleplay persona that fits with your personality makes it a little easier to pretend, but choosing a persona who is your complete opposite is also lots of fun. If you are shy in real life, being a hard-ass cop for a couple of hours could spark all sorts of erotic fires!

Keeping it fun with a bit of roleplay will aid the excitement and mean that neither of you can wait to rip each other’s clothes off and get started…

Sexy Police Outfit

Read erotic books or watch films together

Seeing or reading about other people having sex can be a real turn on and is also a great way to learn a few new moves in the process.

Be sure to talk to your partner about it first and agree on something that you both find sexy. We stock a wide range of erotic books that will be perfect for some bedtime reading.

Tip: Setting your partner the task of finding something you’ll like will give them cart blanche to watch as much porn as they can possibly find time for, as they’ll be searching for something that’ll turn you on. Be as specific as possible – this’ll make it harder to find the right clip or film and they simply ‘have to’ watch lots and lots of sexy stuff – and they’ll be keen to gain your approval once the mission has been completed!




Q&A: Help! I want a toy to grind on during sex.

Q&A: Help! I want a toy to grind on during sex.

Hello there!

I’m looking for a toy that I can use as a woman whilst on top during sex.

I have never been able to orgasm from penetration alone. I never really liked being on top before either except with my new partner! So it’s new territory.

I’d really like to get a small, flattish (if that exists) vibrator I can put between us to grind on.

If you have a suggestion for a toy that would work for this point me in the right direction!




Hi there, many thanks for your email!

This is a common question and as most women (about 75%) need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, it makes perfect sense that you need something a little extra for the clit during penetration.

We have some great suggestions for vibrators to use during penetration.

Silhouette S8 body-forming vibe Silhouette S8 Body Forming Vibratoris new out on the market and thanks to its inventive shape, was immediately awarded the prestigious Red Dot Design Award 2016. Silhouette S8 has multi-directional positioning, meaning that you can bend and flex the vibe to suit your particular preferences. Silhouette S8 enhances penetrative sex in just the way you want.

The round pad has three raised rides for extra stimulation when gently pressed against the clitoral mound or, if you prefer smooth, flat surfaces, simply turn the pad around and use the other side.

The slim arm can be used in a number of ways. Simply lay along the labia for teasing vibes up and down the entire area, or slip inside for focused G-spot play.

Lelo Noa, the wearable couples vibrator is a 5-star toy and should be on your list of products for consideration.

Similar in design to We Vibe, Lelo Noa has been designed for couples to enjoy during penetration. The shape and fit is somewhat different from We vibe, so this may suit you better. Lelo Noa is the bestselling couples vibe in our shop in east London. The small bullet sits over the clitoral area, and the slim arm easily slips inside the muffkin so both can enjoy the vibrations together.

Wireless Venus Butterfly – an oldie but a goodie, this classic hands-free vibe is still popular with couples.

Venus Butterfly is worn like a pair of panties, but with the added vibration against the clitoral mound. (This one also makes a fun toy to wear whilst doing the housework!)

FixSation wearable, rechargeable panty vibrator is ergonomically designed to sit flush against the pelvis.

Contoured exterior and specially designed ridges mean that pressure and movement from penetration will build a fabulous friction and concentrated vibration where you want it most. Perfect!

So there we have it, four equally delicious vibrators to choose from – have fun!

If you have any questions about sex and sex toys please email us at If you would like advice from our sex and relationship therapist Sarah Berry, please add the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’.


Team Sh! xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity. 


Q&A: What has happened to my sex drive?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend a long time. To begin with my sex drive was higher than his, to the extent that it was something we fought about. After a while I stopped initiating sex so much and he also made some comments about my weight that knocked my confidence. Fast forward to now. We’ve recently moved, our lives have changed a lot, I’m very stressed at work and I’ve gained a little weight. So maybe it’s not surprising that my sex drive has decreased but it weirds me out that it seems to have just gone completely. 

I don’t masturbate at all. I’m not interested in having sex with anyone. The whole idea of having sex makes me feel gross. When we do have sex it’s not good for me. Not good meaning that I feel nervous, anxious, I feel like I want to cry. I can’t get wet, so I feel bad, which makes me more nervous, which makes sex uncomfortable because I’m not wet and… this is way too TMI, I’m sorry. I’m at a loss.

I still do find him attractive but… I just don’t feel anything else.

What is going on?! How do I fix it?

Hello there,

Many thanks for your email. We’re sorry to hear you’re experiencing such a tough time, it sounds as if it’s all a bit much at the moment.

It might be worth talking through some of these issues with a psychosexual therapist.

At the moment it sounds like your stress and anxiety over this is likely to be further demolishing your libido. It might be worth trying to not have penetrative sex at all for a while, it’s causing you pain and anxiety and only increasing your sense of frustration and concern. Many women struggle with changes in libido throughout their lives.

Does your partner know how you feel? Having a heart to heart may seem daunting, but could make a whole lot of difference.

Going back to basics is another way of connecting on a more romantic level.

Holding hands, cuddling and maybe some sneaky kisses behind the bike shed. Think back to the first few, heady months when you got together – enjoy date nights (this could mean cooking a meal at home or going to the cinema, for example).

You don’t mention any prescription medications – it is a well known fact that medication such as contraceptives and anti-depressants can have detrimental effects on our moods and how we feel about ourselves.

As well as making us gain extra weight around the middle. If this is the case, we recommend speaking to your GP about switching to a different brand.

It’s such a shame your partner took it upon himself to make negative comments about your weight instead of luxuriating in your new lush curves! If you feel a tad out of shape, you could try some sort of fun exercise (emphasis on fun!) like belly dancing or zumba. These are great ways of toning up without feeling like you are punishing yourself. Exercise is fantastic for stress busting and can really help improve confidence too.

funny-bondageAnd feeling better about yourself really is key here.

What do you enjoy doing? Do more of those things!

Book a facial or a massage, or treat yourself to a new haircut. A night out with the girls is usually a good way of raising spirits (as well as downing some!). Long walks in the fresh air is another great way of blowing away mental cobwebs or, our favourite, spending a day in the sunshine for an additional dose of vitamin D.

Masturbating is a good step towards feeling better about sex, and how you feel about your body. How about trying a fun vibrator to see if that helps kickstart the libido? Make sure you use plenty of lube, and for an additional zing in the muffkin area, you could try an enhancing product like ON Arousal Oil which helps increase the blood flow into the area. This in turn helps with arousal, which in turn helps you want more sex… Reading erotica can be very helpful, or downloading something sexy might also help float your boat.


If you have any questions please send them to, if you’d like advice from our sex and relationship expert Sarah Berry please include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’.

We hope you feel better soon xx

Team Sh! xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.


Q&A: I’m interested in spanking?

Q&A: I’m interested in spanking?

Hey Sh!

I’m interested in trying spanking with my girlfriend. It’s not something we’ve done before and I can’t make it to one of your classes so I wanted to know how to make it fun and safe. I’d be grateful for any information you can give me. What’s the best type of implement for a beginner?



Hi E,

It’s great to hear from your and also great that you’re thinking about safety in your spanking adventures.

Our first tip is that you get in some practice on a pillow before trying out your technique on your partner. Then have a go on yourself, this way you should get an idea of what you’re going for without any risk of injury.

Once you’re ready to start spanking with a partner always be aware of them, their tolerance might be different from yours and it is important to communicate and stop if they need you to.

Go for well padded areas like the buttocks and thighs, try and aim for the middle or lower part of the bottom. It  might be a good idea to lightly rub or gently spank the area to bring the blood up to the skin.  Pain thresholds rise directly in line with arousal (the more turned-on they are, the more spanking they can take) so our advice is to NEVER rush a good spanking.

To begin with you might want to use a broad flat spanking implement. Blows from something that is hard and narrow are more likleather-shaped-paddle-pinkely to leave lasting marks whereas something hard and flat will leave a lasting redness and soft and flat means no more than a slight blush.

You should also bear in mind that the shorter a spanking implement is the easier it will be to control. You could try one of our spanking paddles with a soft fur side, for stroking over smarting buttocks, or maybe this small whip with it’s soft tendrils.

The final word is a reminder to ask your partner what they want and enjoy and err on the safe side, especially to begin with!

If you have any questions please send them to, if you’d like rubber-whip-small-blackadvice from our sex and relationship expert Sarah Berry please include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’.

Best Wishes,

Team Sh! xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.


Q&A: Dildo dilemma

Q&A: Dildo dilemma

Hello, I’m so glad I can ask for advice. I feel a little embarrassed and don’t want to even tell my best friend. I recently ordered a dildo from your store to be shipped to the U.S. I ordered a large one because I thought it would be more filling and satisfying to try. I was having sexual urges to be filled. Mind you, I haven’t been sexually active in 10 years, still flying solo and didn’t realize how tight I would be from years of inactivity. I tried inserting my dildo but it is so painful I cannot even get the tip in. I added some of the lube that came with my order but still it really hurts and I cannot proceed. I have a really small vibrator but it’s too thin and never satisfied me. Now I think the girth is too large on my toy. I never had a problem with pain when I was sexually active in my younger years. I’m 38 years old now and had mostly female partners until I went celibate 10 years ago. Do you have any tips? If a vagina can open for a baby, why can’t i enjoy my masturbation? I just had a physical with my doctor too and she had to check my vaginal canal by inserting her fingers. We both agreed everything felt normal.

Thanks for any tips!


Hello here,

Many thanks for your email.

On this occasion, it may be that your eyes and fantasies were a bit bigger than your vaginal canal – this can sometimes happen…

The best way of gauging size is by using your fingers: how many fingers feel just right? One, two, three, or more? That’s the size toy to choose! This an be tricky to do when looking at photos on a website, but you can call us and we’ll be happy to help you with sizing.

Twista 2 Silicone DildoRather than just throwing away your new toy, you could try this: start off your play session by using just fingers and lube until you feel ready for penetration. Your body will tell you when this happens; you’ll recognize it as a deep ache of wanting to be filled. When that happens, the vagina starts expanding to make space for “more”. Invite your smaller-size vibe to join you, and tease yourself into a rampant state of readiness. At this point, and only at this point, try introducing your new dildo. Try different positions – it could be that you are more “open” when sitting on top for example, or with your knees pulled up to your chest.

If it’s still uncomfortable, the dildo is likely too large for you. The idea with a dildo is that you should feel filled and perhaps a little stretched,  but it shouldn’t be uncomfortable or painful.

Sometimes it could be the shape of the dildo – does it have a round, blunt tip? If so, a tapered tip dildo may work better for you.

Another thing to bear in mind is that our bodies change as we get older. The vaginal membranes naturally start to thin out and the vagina becomes drier and tighter – this is perfectly normal. Use lots of lube, and make sure to work on your arousal before attempting penetration.

Good luck!

Team Sh xx

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.