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How to Play Safely with BDSM

BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadomasochism and Masochism.

It’s meant to be a little scary but never in a way that’s unsafe.

BDSM can involve as much, or as little bondage, domination, or submission as you like, ranging from a little light bondage to a full-on dungeon scene.

Leather Paddle
Leather Paddle

BDSM can be incredibly intense because it allows the submissive partner the freedom to give up power completely and the dominant partner to take full control.

If you would like to explore power-play, there are a few rules to follow to ensure both players physical and emotional safety.

Listen & Trust Your Instincts

This is our number one piece of advice.

You know how far you want to go. Never push your own or your lover’s limits in a BDSM scene.

Agree on Safe Words to use with the BDSM scene

Safe-words to control or stop a “scene” are an essential part of BDSM safety.

Agreeing on the safe-words, before you start playing and honouring them within the scene, is the only way to ensure the physical and emotional safety of the submissive player. Safe words shouldn’t be any words that you might use during your game.

Using words such as ‘stop’,  ‘no’ or ‘please’ are not recommended as BDSM safe words.

A common set of BDSM safe -words are: ‘YELLOW’ which means ‘Ease Up’ – I’m not ready to stop but am feeling a bit unsafe’ and ‘RED’ which means ‘Stop now’.

Good communication is crucial

Honesty is the best policy is good advice, and never truer than in a BDSM scene.

Any BDSM scene based on power can resurrect buried feelings, especially in someone who has been abused or raped.

It’s important to communicate any no-go areas and vital that boundaries are agreed upon before the a BDSM scene commences.

The emotional safety of both players is as important as the physical safety.

Physical Safety with BDSM Scenes

 Never restrict your submissive’s nose AND mouth within a BDSM scene. Never tie your submissive face down on soft furnishing.

Never leave your submissive tied-up alone. This is basic safety advice to ensure your submissive can breathe.

Rubber Wrist Cuffs
Rubber Wrist Cuffs £20

Check regularly throughout the BDSM scene that extremities such as toes and fingers are not numb or cold as these are signs that blood has stopped flowing to the area and its time to untie.

Use wide, strong bonds like these Wrist Cuffs and Ankle Cuffs. Silk scarves may seem less threatening but they can tighten in the throws of a BDSM game, without anyone noticing, and can cause pinched nerves, or even permanent nerve damage.

Get Informed & Inspired

There are plenty of great BDSM advice books that tell you how to keep your BDSM scene safe. The internet is also a great resource for BDSM advice and ideas to keep your BDSM play both hot AND safe.