Relight that Fire

Relight that Fire

People of Sh!: the most wonderful time of the year is now upon us. Just in case you haven’t already heard us mention it; May is the month of masturbation.

In a period of #selfcare, now is the time to brandish those hashtags and jump fearlessly onboard. Many of you are already out there, in the field, rubbing one out time and time again in the name of sexual liberation.

But, what if you just don’t fancy getting down and dirty with your pleasure powerhouse? Is the only lubricant you’ve come close to recently the one that slid masturbation slowly down your priority list? What if you and your partner just aren’t in sync with each other sexually – but you feel guilty in pleasuring yourself without them?

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Allowing yourself to explore your sexuality either alone or with a partner requires a positive mindset. It’s not a selfish or indulgent act: it’s a bare minimum that can be a really empowering, rewarding action. However, if you’re not “feeling” sex much at the minute and you’re not sure why, then evaluating your mood and stress levels is always a good starting point. Take the other person out of the equation and think about what’s going on with you. Is something causing you stress? Perhaps you can try little strategies here and there to fix at least the smallest of your concerns.

Masturbation should never be a chore – it’s a bloody delight. The language you use determines how you think and vice versa. If you find yourself speaking about your body or sex negatively then perhaps you can try and consciously implement more positive language when talking about such topics. Saying this, there is no need to force anything if it really doesn’t feel natural.

Be kind to yourself by allowing space and time for your attitudes or context to change.

Otherwise, buy yourself a ticket to that pilates class you’ve been putting off. Lather up in your favourite moisturiser. Get those kids to their friend Jenny’s for dinner and chill out in the bath with a nice glass of whatever you fancy. If you’re feeling REALLY outlandish, read up on your favourite fantasies via a sweet slice of erotica. Soon enough you’ll find yourself raring to go, so dust off that trusty vibe of yours and get back on your rocking horse.

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On the other hand, you may be rolling an eye or two at this masturbation month malarkey thinking that there’s no reason to do that when you have a partner already. Relying on that one person for all sexual satisfaction is a lot of pressure, no? What would you do if they went on holiday?

Not only is masturbating a practical solution for staying in tune with your body and satisfying your own needs, but it can be really sexy to do with a partner and allow them the role of voyeur.

Face each other head-on as you individually touch yourselves together or in turn. You could even tie them up so that they are just out of reach of you (guaranteed they will be squirming in delight). Not only will this make you feel super sexy and confident but they are also essentially having a lesson in the sure fire way to get you off– which brings us to our next point.

Does your partner need a map around your hot spots but you’re not really sure which directions to give them? Masturbation is the perfect tour guide, enabling you to pass on your pearls of wisdom. Exploring your own body is a never-ending adventure in our eyes and letting someone else in on this journey is even more exciting.

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This tactic is especially great if your partner needs a little guidance in the way of your sexual pleasure and words are not your forté. If this is you and, to quote Ronan Keating, “you say it best, when you say nothing at all”; give your partner a V.I.P view and show them how you like it.

If you would like to make them feel like they have a bit more power than this, why not invest in a remote controlled vibe? This way, everyone’s involved. We-Vibe is a luxury brand that specialise in couples toys. They are so invested in ensuring that no one is feeling left out of masturbation by launching their latest toys that include vibes controlled by the smartphone apps on Android and iOS systems. They run in the background of your phone whilst you’re living your best life on Facetime. It’s music to our ears.

From whichever way you look at it, May only happens once a year. It’s the perfect excuse to make some time for your inner sex spirit. Let them out and enjoy!

Seduce Yourself Class

10 Ways to Seduce Yourself – Workshop with Immani Love

Single, in a relationship, or simply want to get better acquainted with yourself? This course is for you!

Learning to seduce yourself can be easy if you understand the little details that matter. This workshop will give you 10 Ways to Seduce Yourself and perhaps some ideas for spicing up a relationship as well!

Immani-Love-Book-at-Sh!Immani Love, Author, Erotic Poet & Love Goddess will host this hot class on how to turn yourself on in no less than 10 different ways because let’s be honest: it’s always fun to change things up…

Following Immani’s recent party to celebrate the launch of her new book Adventures in Eroticism: Workplace (signed copies available in the shop!), we can’t wait for this second evening at Sh! before she heads back home the States.

If you missed her fierce performance the first time around, you gotta join us for this one!

Join Us!

More about Immani Love

Immani-Love-POetryImmani Love was born in Philadelphia, Pa and is currently making her home in Florida, regularly performing in several places in the United States, United Kingdom, Europe, and Australia when booked.

Named 2013 Erotic Poet of the Year by the National Poetry Awards and invited to perform in the UK Black Pride in London, England, as well as EuroPride 2014 in Marseille, France and EuroPride 2016 in Amsterdam, Netherlands, now her popularity has grown! She has traveled throughout Europe every summer since 2014 and includes stops as far as Australia, England, Spain, France, Holland, Germany, Italy, and Greece.

Follow Immani Love on Twitter

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UG Solo Play

Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex

Here at Sh! Towers we receive boxes full of goodies every week, and whilst many of them are good – great, even – we are always on the lookout for something that truly stands out from the rest; that special book or toy that we just know will make a difference to women everywhere.

When The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex by Jenny Block arrived, I spotted it and immediately snatched it before anyone else got a look in – “I’ll read this one!”

All You Need to Know About Masturbation

Having just finished “O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm” by the same author, I was keen to see what lay in-between the black & white covers of this one – with a subtitle like all you need to know about masturbation, I was more than a little intrigued!

Jenny Block, a frequent contributor for a number of high-profile publications such as Huffington Post, Curve Magazine and Cosmopolitan, takes her job as a sex-positive ambassador for women’s pleasure seriously. Having attended one of the infamous BodySex workshops held by Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross, she practices the self-pleasuring she preaches.

Whether you are happily single, coupld, monogamous or poly, Block has the very best advice on how to pleasure yourself masterfully.

Betty Dodson – “I Invented Masturbation”

The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex has its foreword written by the doyenne of self-pleasure, Betty Dodson. Boldly stating “I invented masturbation“, Dodson started her now infamous masturbation classes for women in the 70’s and, through these, discovered exactly how magic the Magic Wand really is. Betty Dodson has single-handedly done more to break the taboo surrounding women’s solo pleasuring than the rest of the world’s sex-positive educators put together.

Block’s previous book O Wow”  explicitly shares how Betty Dodson helped her manipulate a barbell for an explosive orgasm in a group setting, whilst simultaneously cheering her on – such fantastic passion for the female orgasm must be saluted and celebrated!

(The fact that Betty Dodson’s name is glaringly misspelled on the cover of the Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex, well…)

Masturbation Is A Marvellous Thing

Whether by yourself or with a partner, masturbation is a marvellous thing. It teaches you about your body and what it likes, and dislikes, when it comes to sex. Pleasure is good for your skin, it relaxes you and it can help you sleep when you’ve spent far too many hours tossing and turning. The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex is a celebration of women’s self-pleasure, and it’s also a much needed guide to getting off.

I was thrilled to see some actual masturbation techniques in this book, as so many sex guides omit this (weird, right?). There may be a vague reference to gently touching oneself, but what women really want – and need – are explicit techniques that’ll get them off!

Part of Block’s research for the book included a masturbation survey, and speaking to women about their experiences of solo play. Real women, sharing real experiences. It’s liberating and sexy and fun and, sometimes, sad: staging an intervention with the local priest when you find your daughter indulging an a little self-love is never acceptable…

All You Need To Know About Getting Off

The participating women share stories of age of first fiddle (some as young as 3 or 4, others in their 20’s), where they prefer to play (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen…) and how they like to play; laying on the front, lying on the back, sitting up, sitting astride, standing up… With fingers, or toys or other implements. Dressed or undressed. Short and sharp or long and slow – it’s all in there!

Realising that there are so many different ways of masturbating is mindblowing – there is so much to try!

The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex is a great read for any woman who’s interested in exploring self-pleasure and the many (many!) different ways this can be enjoyed. And – as an extra bonus, there is a selection of delectable short erotic stories to get the juices flowing.

The Ultimate Guide to Solo Play by Jenny Block is £11.99 and available both in store and on our website.

“I was twelve years old and it felt like finding gold”