Silicone (sometimes spelled silicon) lubricant is very long lasting and doesn’t dry out – there’s none of the gloopyness or sticky residue that you can get with some water-based lube.
Silicone lube fees like light baby oil* but with one difference; is is safe to use with condoms.
( *never raid your bathroom cabinet for added lubrication – many products contain mineral-based oil which will upset the delicate balance of the vagina)
A little goes a long way; a few drops is all you need, which is why silicone is a good lube-choice when super lubrication is required: anal sex, shower/bath/jacuzzi sex (thou’ the oiliness of silicone can make surfaces slippery so be careful not to slip!) and marathon sex sessions.
If you’re looking for a lube to play with sex toys (and you should, because lube makes all sex toy play even better!) don’t choose silicone lube for a silicone toy as, over time, it can damage the surface of your sex toy.
Silicone lube can be difficult to wash off, whether from your body, clothing or bedding – this is not a lubricant for squirting with abandon!
SILICONE LUBE: THE TEAM SH! JURY IS STILL OUT…
There’s lots of conflicting opinion on whether a silicone lube is a good choice for an “everyday” vaginal lubricant.
Some say it’s actually better than a water-based lubricant as it won’t typically cause an allergic reaction or skin irritation, whereas ingredients in some water-based lubricant (ie parabens or glycerin) can cause allergic reactions/create a haven for yeast infections.
Before you get down to some really pleasurable anal play, there are a few things to think about, so here we’ll take you through what you may need to stock up on before heading in through the back door…
Lubricant is essential to ensure ALL your anal play is pleasurable
Lube is the most important thing when it comes to a pleasurable anal experience – a necessity. The anal canal isn’t self-lubricating, meaning that the necessary moisture needs to be added – by you.
Many customers come to us, asking if anal play “has” to hurt, and we always give the same answer: anal play should not be painful at all. It should only be pleasurable.
When asking these customers, we usually find they all have one thing in common: they don’t use lube. (dry friction – no wonder it hurts, peeps!)
Lashings of lube will make all anal pleasure, with or without toys so much more comfortable and sensual. It also ensures that everything stays nicely slidey, throughout the long, slow journey of anal arousal (if you’re going too fast, no wonder it hurts peeps!)
Here, we have two options for you:
Silicone lubricant for anal play
Silicone-based lube is great for skin-on-skin play; when you use fingers or a penis, or if you use sex toys made from glass, plastic, or steel.It is slick and long-lasting, and a little goes a long, long way…
Silicone lube is also perfect for anal play in the bath or shower – which is a good place forbeginners to anal sex to start their journey as many people are hesitant around ‘feeling clean’. Water will wash away regular lube.
It’s worth noting that silicone-based lube could damage the surface of any silicone toys you may have, so we recommend covering these toys with condoms if you opt for silicone lube.
The thicker, the better! It will coat fingers, penises and toys much better than runny versions.
Customers often ask how much lube they should add, and our reply is always this: Add as much as you think. Then add a bit more!
Water-based lubes are very body-friendly, and work well with any toys you have. Water-based lube evaporates/sinks into the skin, so you’ll have to reapply, or reactivate your lube with a couple of drops of water or saliva, which works just as well.
A word about anal enhancers and why you should never use anal numbing products…
Here at Sh!, we do not sell any products designed to numb the anal area.
We have many customers asking for these (it’s that old ‘anal sex always hurts’ myth again!) but we always explain why using anal numbing creams or sprays could actually be harmful.
The anal canal is very delicate and the skin there easily torn. Pain is your body’s way of staying ‘stop’ or ‘slow down’. If you have numbed your body (with a special numbing product, or with alcohol or drugs) you will be unaware of being hurt. Staying present and in-tune with your body’s sensations is the only way to safely enjoy anal sex.
What we offer instead, are anal enhancing sprays, which are naturally formulatedto relax the anus for easy penetration, whilst still keeping the bottoming partner fully aware of all sensations in their tush.
Using Condoms for Anal Play
Using condoms is a great way to take care of any hygiene-worries you may have. Also, a necessity, for safer-sex. .
Because of the delicate skin in the bum, anal sex with an uncovered penis is the easiest transmission route of many STI’s. Pasante Extra, are specially created for anal sex; extra lube for friction-free moves and extra thick latex for a strong barrier.
Whether for safer-sex purposes or not, using condoms for anal sex makes clean-up a doddle: just whip the condom off and dispose of. Easy peasy!
Using Latex Gloves for Anal Play – Turns fingers into smooth operators…
Snapping on a glove and drizzling some lube over your gloved-up fingers can be a hot image, raising anticipation of things to come..
It can also add frisson to kinky medical role-play…
They also make a sexy barrier, if you are a bit squeamish about probing your partner’s tush…
Gloves are essential if you have long nails (long nails and delicate tushies don’t go together), nails that aren’t smooth (ouch!) or if you are concerned about hygiene (easy to whip off and dispose of).
If you have long nails, it’s a really good idea to pop some cotton wool into each finger of the glove before putting it on. This will protect your nails – and your partner’s bum!
If you’re not keen on wearing whole glove, you could easily cut the latex fingers off, and cover your own fingers with them – finger cots!
Using Dental Dams for Anal Oral Sex (aka Analingus or Rimming)
Dams are squares of latex (also available in non-latex, if you are allergic) that you place over your partners bits to perform oral sex through. They are a barrier, much like condoms and can be used for vaginal as well as anal pleasure – though always use a new dam, each time.
The offical word for anal oral sex is analingus, but it’s more commonly called ‘rimming’.
Rimming is when you pleasure your partners anus with your lips and tongue. It may sound shocking to some, but the anus has tons of nerve-endings, just begging to be licked, kissed and touched, and this can be intensely pleasurable.
Drizzle a touch of lube on to your partner’s side of the dam before placing it over their anus – this will make your licking feel moist and sexy – just like your tongue!
So there’s the run-down on the essentials (lube!), as well as additions to pleasurable anal play, but if you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll answer you.
We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!
The skin is the body’s largest erogenous zone with millions of sensory receptors, all of which deliver amazing pleasure especially when your skin is overloaded with sensations.
Skin is receptive to a whole range of erotic touches from fingertip light to full-on sensation.
There are extra sensitive receptors in genitals and nipples, but just diving straight for the usual erotic zones misses out large areas of our bodies that are receptive the sensual pleasure of erotic touch – feet, shoulders, neck, inner thighs – anywhere you care to name!
Prepping for Sensual Massage
Massage, erotic or otherwise, is not something to be rushed; it’s important to ensure you are both comfortable.
Prepare the area – gather towels, cushions,omassage oils, lubricants and any toys you may want to hand, as once started it’s a real mood-killer to rush off and start rummaging in drawers.
Dim the lights or better still, light candles. Creating a sensual, relaxing environment is key.
You’ll need full access to their body so lay them down diagonally on the bed or on cushions on the floor.
Only warm bodies can bask in the erotic glow of massage so take a hot bath, light a fire/crank up the heat before stripping off.
Turn phones off
On to the Massage…
It can be incredibly sexy for your lover to be totally nude for an erotic massage…
But exposing only the area about to be massaged, just like a professional masseuse, is also hot – the effect of air on skin can really ignite the senses and flashing certain small areas can feel vulnerably naughty, especially when you get to the “erotic” bits!
Massage candles are not like household candles as they burn at a much lower temperature. It’s recommended that you blow out the candle and wait a few minutes before dripping the oil or test the temperature on your own skin first.
Once you start massaging, don’t break contact between your skin and theirs – it’s this continuous rhythm allows your lover to really relish in the erotic sensations.
Don’t rush! An sensual massage is not something to do speedily. Set aside at least an hour for your massage session and try not to get to the main dish (the erotic portion of the massage) until half an hour in.
Start with your lover lying on the their front so you can work on their back, starting at their shoulders and working your way down to their feet.
In this position the erotic hot spot is the bum and what access you can get to between their legs.
Turn them over and start again at their shoulders, working down to their feet, by way of breasts, and then onto the pubic area.
Whether you are massaging bum or balls, legs or labia, go slowly and repeat each stroke 10 times: use fluid, continuous and circular strokes.
For intimate areas use silicone-based lubricant, rather than (potentially irritating ) massage oil. Silicone lubricant has the oily-feel, staying power that’s necessary for massage and it’s safe to use with condoms, should your massage turn into sex.
Vibration relaxes muscles, so a wand massager is great for erotic massage. Massagers can be used externally all over the body to stimulate the senses – they offer powerful vibration so keep a towel handy in case you need to ‘dampen down’ the buzz on genital areas…
Pay close attention to your lover. In sensual massage, the stiffening of the body can mean that the massage is too hard or that they’re close to orgasm. The same goes for a moan – it’s your job as the erotic masseur/se to know the difference!
Anal pleasure requires a slow pace and using lube ensures that everything feels slippery and sensual throughout the journey.
From the very beginning, through to the point where anal musclesrelax enough to be receptive to penetration, and all through your anal sex session, you should ensure everything starts out coated, and remains coated in lube. Keep applying, as any ‘drag’ can cause tension and tension is the enemy of pleasurable anal sex!
These lubes contain less water and so evaporate slower and have a thicker consistency than regular water-based lubes, which means they coat and cling to toys, fingers and condoms for longer…
Thick water-based lube can be used to enhance all sex-play, so it’s a great choice if you prefer to have just one lube-type by your bed – if you find it a little thick for other activities it can be simply watered down with a little purified water or even saliva.
Water-based lube is the best lube to choose if you are playing with any silicone anal toys, such as butt plugs and anal beads, or pegging / performing anal sex with a silicone dildo.
Best Oil-Based Lube for Anal Sex
Some people prefer to use oil-based lube for anal sex as, without the evaporating qualities of water, it provides unsurpassed, super long-lasting and uber-slippy lubrication.
As the anus naturally flushes itself, it is less vulnerable to oil-induced infection than the vagina.
BUT oil-based lubes will rot a condom in seconds and will damage the surface of many anal toys, which is why we don’t stock oil-based anal lubes and caution against using mineral or vegetable oil-based products as lubricant.