Advice Anal Play & Pleasure

Enhancing Anal Play and Pleasure

Before you get down to some really pleasurable anal play, there are a few things to think about, so here we’ll take you through what you may need to stock up on before heading in through the back door…

Lubricant is essential to ensure ALL your anal play is pleasurable

Lube is the most important thing when it comes to a pleasurable anal experience – a necessity.  The anal canal isn’t self-lubricating, meaning that the necessary moisture needs to be added – by you.

Many customers come to us, asking if anal play “has” to hurt, and we always give the same answer: anal play should not be painful at all. It should only be pleasurable.

When asking these customers, we usually find they all have one thing in common: they don’t use lube. (dry friction – no wonder it hurts, peeps!)

Lashings of lube will make all anal pleasure, with or without toys  so much more comfortable and sensual. It also ensures that everything stays nicely slidey, throughout the long, slow journey of anal arousal (if you’re going too fast, no wonder it hurts peeps!)

Here, we have two options for you:

Silicone Lube is slick and long-lasting for the slow pace of arousing anal play....
Silicone Lube is slick and long-lasting for the slow pace of arousing anal play….

Silicone lubricant for anal play

Silicone-based lube is great for skin-on-skin play; when you use fingers or a penis, or if you use sex toys made from glassplastic, or steel. It is slick and long-lasting, and a little goes a long, long way…

Silicone lube is also perfect for anal play in the bath or shower – which is a good place for beginners to anal sex to start their journey as many people are hesitant around ‘feeling clean’.  Water will wash away regular lube.

It’s worth noting that silicone-based lube could damage the surface of any silicone toys you may have, so we recommend covering these toys with condoms if you opt for silicone lube.

Sh! Pure Plus (£10) Paraben-Free Thick Anal Lubricant
Sh! Pure Plus (£10) Paraben-Free Thick Anal Lubricant

Water-based lubricant for anal play

Choose a thick, viscous water-based lube for anal play

The thicker, the better! It will coat fingers, penises and toys much better than runny versions.

Customers often ask how much lube they should add, and our reply is always this: Add as much as you think. Then add a bit more!

Water-based lubes are very body-friendly, and work well with any toys  you have. Water-based lube evaporates/sinks into the skin, so you’ll have to reapply, or reactivate your lube with a  couple of drops of water or saliva, which works just as well.


 

A word about anal enhancers and why you should never use anal numbing products…

Intimate Organics Anal Relaxant £18
Intimate Organics Anal Relaxant £18

Here at Sh!, we do not sell any products designed to numb the anal area.

We have many customers asking for these (it’s that old ‘anal sex always hurts’ myth again!) but we always explain why using anal numbing creams or sprays could actually be harmful.

The anal canal is very delicate and the skin there easily torn.  Pain is your body’s  way of staying ‘stop’ or ‘slow down’. If you have numbed your body (with a special numbing product, or with alcohol or drugs) you will be unaware of being hurt. Staying present and in-tune with your body’s sensations is the only way to safely enjoy anal sex.

What we offer instead, are anal enhancing sprays, which are naturally formulated to relax the anus for easy penetration, whilst still keeping the bottoming partner fully aware of all sensations in their tush.


 

Pasante Extra Condoms (£7)
Pasante Extra Condoms (£7)

Using Condoms for Anal Play

Using condoms is a great way to take care of any hygiene-worries you may have. Also, a necessity, for safer-sex. .

Because of the delicate skin in the bum,  anal sex with an uncovered penis is the easiest transmission route of many STI’s. Pasante Extra, are specially created for anal sex; extra lube for friction-free moves and extra thick latex for a strong barrier.

Whether for safer-sex purposes or not, using condoms for anal sex makes clean-up a doddle:  just whip the condom off and dispose of. Easy peasy!


 

 

Using Latex Gloves for Anal Play – Turns fingers into smooth operators…

Black Latex Gloves
Black Latex Gloves £4 for 10

Using latex gloves for anal sex (or non-latex gloves, if you are allergic) not only easy, but also very sexy.

Snapping on a glove and drizzling some lube over your gloved-up fingers can be a hot image, raising anticipation of things to come..

It  can also add frisson to kinky medical role-play…

They also make a sexy barrier, if you are a bit squeamish about probing your partner’s tush…

Gloves are essential if you have long nails (long nails and delicate tushies don’t go together), nails that aren’t smooth (ouch!) or if you are concerned about hygiene (easy to whip off and dispose of).

If you have long nails, it’s a really good idea to pop some cotton wool into each finger of the glove  before putting it on. This will protect your nails – and your partner’s bum!

If you’re not keen on wearing  whole glove, you could easily cut the latex fingers off, and cover your own fingers with them – finger cots!

 

Using Dental Dams for Anal Oral Sex (aka Analingus or Rimming)

Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka 'rimming'
Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka ‘rimming’

Dams are squares of latex (also available in non-latex, if you are allergic) that you place over your partners bits to perform oral sex through. They are a barrier, much like condoms and can be used for vaginal as well as anal pleasure – though always  use a new dam, each time.

The offical word for anal oral sex is analingus, but it’s more commonly called  ‘rimming’.

Rimming is when you pleasure your partners anus with your lips and tongue. It may sound shocking to some, but the anus has tons of nerve-endings, just begging to be licked, kissed and touched, and this can be intensely pleasurable.

Drizzle a touch of lube on to your partner’s side of the dam before placing it over their anus – this will make your licking feel moist and sexy – just like your tongue!

So there’s the run-down on the essentials (lube!), as well as additions to pleasurable anal play, but if you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at advice@sh-womenstore.com and we’ll answer you.

We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!

Advice Anal Play & Pleasure

Anal Sex Toys & Pleasure

The closest erogenous zone to the genitals, the anus is richly endowed with highly responsive nerve-endings which become even more sensitive during arousal and throb pleasurably during orgasm.

Apart from simply being a super-sensitive pleasure area in itself, anal sex stimulates specific erogenous zones for both men and women.

Anal Sexual Pleasure For Women:

  • Anal sex also stimulates the clitoral legs: the two shafts of erectile tissue that extend inside from the clitoris, which contain lots of sensitive nerve-endings. 
  • The wall between vagina and rectum is thin enough to pleasure your G-Spot though your back-door.

Anal Sexual Pleasure For Men:

  •  Half of your penis is actually inside your body, continuing back almost to the anus, so anal sex can pleasure you from the inside, out!
  • Most importantly, you have your own special spot called the prostate which is capable of giving you mind-blowing orgasms.

It sometimes has a bad reputation about being painful, but in fact anal sex should never hurt.

If it does, you are taking things too quickly or not using enough lubricant.

Patience and a slow, teasing pace are essential to relaxing anal muscles and enjoying anal sex / anal sex toys.

Inside the anus are two sets of sphincter muscles; the first can be tensed at will, whilst the second constricts involuntarily.

anal sphincter muscles
anal sphincter muscles

This is why, even if you are trying to relax into the delights of anal pleasure, your body might resist. This is when anal sex can hurt and forcing the issue will only result in the muscles resisting further!

Only by taking as much time as the body needs to open up to anal pleasure, and by using plenty of lube, will delicate tushies be kept safe, happy and relaxed enough to enjoy anal sex/toys to the full.

All toys destined for anal play need to be ‘anal-safe

There’s 3 things to check for before introducing your tush to a sex toy

  1. Anal -Safe Design. Just as – ahem – it’s an exit from the body, it can also be an entrance. Putting it bluntly, toys can get lost up there. So, make sure your anal sex toy has  either:
  • a wide or flared base, which as a ‘stop’ no matter how excited you get
  • a long handle that you are sure you can keep a firm grip upon – (keep it and your fingers  free of lube)
  • a ring in which to slip your finger and hold tight!

2. Smooth, Non-Porous Surface: Your bum is a delicate flower with thin, ‘nickable’ skin ( much more so that the vajay) so any sex toy for anal play needs to be smooth and seamless.  For peace of mind, it should also be non-porous, so it can easily be cleaned/sterilized.

3. Flexible enough to bend with the natural curves of the anus. Around 4 inches inside, the anal canal bends, so any toy longer than this should be flexible, in order not to ‘bump’ and feel uncomfortable.

Anal Sex Toy Materials

Silicone:  We believe this is the very best material for anal sex toys as it’s sensually smooth, soft, flexible, non-porous and super easy to keep clean. If the toy is non-vibrating, or contains a removable bullet, you can even sterilize it.  Use water-based lube with silicone toys as silicone lube, over time, can start to degrade the smooth surface of your toy.

Glass: Smooth , cool and firm,  glass delivers sensually sleek sensations like no other sex toy material. You can use any type of lubricant with glass and a little goes a long way. Glass toys can be warmed by running under that hot tap before you play. Can be sterilized.

Steel: Very similar to glass but has an added weightiness that can feel sensational anally. The weight also makes for incredible prostate massage.

All these materials are body-safe, which means they wont disclose any substances ( is chemicals) into you body as well as non-porous which means they won’t absorb anything from your body either.

Hygiene is clearly an important factor when we’re talking bum-fun, which is why the best anal sex toys are non-porous toys that you can clean/ sterilize thoroughly. Condoms can be used on any toys and make for quick, easy peace-of-mind clean up.

So, safety message over.

Now let’s take off into the wonderful world of anal sex toys.


 

There are essentially 5 types of anal sex toys

Understanding the different sensations delivered by different anal toys is key to choosing the right anal toy for you.

Each provide a very different kind of anal pleasure.

Choosing your first anal toy can be mind-boggling and intimidating, especially if you’re going in blind, so here we’ll briefly describe the different sensations they deliver.

A Butt Plug has a sphincter-stop at its base and is designed to be 'worn' providing a feeling of fullness
A Butt Plug has a snarrow neck at its base and is designed to be ‘worn’ providing a feeling of fullness

Butt Plug is a stay-put anal sex toy, designed to be ‘worn’.

The narrow neck of a butt-plug prompts sphincter muscles to squeeze around where it’s slimmest, thus holding it in place.

Butt plugs are not designed to be moved in-and-out, but eased inside where they stay put ( thou they will often need a hand to keep them in place as it’s the body’s natural reflex to ‘expel’ from this area! ) providing a pleasurable feeling of fullness and pressure.

Butt plugs are available in both vibrating and non-vibrating options, from the tiny-sized and up.

Read More: How to use a Butt Plug


 

An anal dildo has a regular shaft ( that maybe ribbed for pleasure) designed to be moved in and out
An anal dildo has a regular shaft ( that maybe ribbed for pleasure) designed to be moved in and out…

A dildo used as anal sex toy  will give smoother penetrative sensations.

A dildo is best for a sliding-in-and-out feeling or for anal sex with a strap-on, whether with your female partner or ‘pegging’ your male partner.

Whether worn in a harness or used hand-held, a dildo ( rather than a butt-plug) is best for delivering smooth, penetrative sensations as there’s no sphincter-stop for the anal muscles to close in around.

In our anal dildo section, we list our most popular dildos bought at our store specifically for anal pleasure but feel free to choose any Sh! silicone dildo – their wide bases make every one totally safe for anal play.

Read More:

 

 

 

Anal beads are a string of graduated beads, with sphincter-stops after each bead.
Anal beads are a string of graduated beads, with sphincter-stops after each bead.

Anal Beads deliver the repeated feeling of anal muscles opening and closing.

One of the easiest, most accessible anal sex toys for beginners, anal beads are a flexible string of molded beads, with a sphincture stop after each one. They gently graduate in size.

These are great anal toys if you enjoy the feeling of anal muscles repeatedly opening and contracting, as you get to experience this sensation with each new bead.

Some people experience more intense orgasms if anal beads are pulled out during climax.

Read More: Beginners Guide to Anal Beads


 

An anal vibrator is usually for plug, bead penetrative or prostate sensations but with the added vibration too
An anal vibrator is usually for plug, bead, penetrative or prostate sensations but with the added vibration too

An anal vibrator can help relax anal muscles.

The shape of an anal vibrator will give you a clue as to the kind of pleasure it will deliver; stay-put plug; ‘popping’ beads; in-and-out penetration; specific prostate massage but it will also vibrate.

The sensation of vibration around the super sensitive anal area can feel mind-blowingly intense. Plus the vibrations themselves can distract your body away any reflexes of resistance, ie the buzz physically helps relax tense anal muscles.

Read More: Anal Vibrator Best Sellers


 

 

Many Prostate massagers have a 'stay-put' shape that's specially curved to stimulate the prostate and  his perineum too...
Many Prostate massagers have a ‘stay-put’ shape that’s specially curved to stimulate the prostate and  his perineum too…

A prostate massager is an anal sex toy specially for the male g-spot.

It is designed to stimulate the prostate located a couple of inches inside his bum. Many men report amazing orgasms through prostate massage and some can even climax through this alone.

All prostate massagers will be curved, to a slighter or greater degree, as inside, his prostate  is towards the front of his body.

Many are c-shaped with a perineum-stimulating base – these are designed for hands-free, stay-in-place pleasure, whether solo or with a partner.


 

These are the main types of anal sex toys and briefly what pleasures they deliver.

We give more in-depth advice on each of the different toys; how to choose and use them on each of their pages.  If you would like to know more, simply head over to each section.


 

Looking for a toy for double penetration; ie vaginal and anal sex at the same time?

DP  is something many couples, both straight and lesbian,  would like to try.

Double Diver £28 - A cock ring with addached anal dildo for double penetration
Double Diver £28 – A cock ring with attached anal dildo for double penetration

The Double Diver is the best toy we have found for this.

Essentially a cock-ring, designed for a man to wear on his penis, with the clitoral stimulator buzzing away on his female partner’s clit (in missionary and woman-on-top positions) whilst the lower dildo provides her with anal/double penetration.

It can be used in the same way, slipped onto a dildo during strap-on sex, too.


 

 

Anal Lubricant is simply thicker & longer-lasting than regular lube. Lubricant is essential for the delicate anal area and slow pace of anal pleasure...
Anal Lubricant is simply thicker & longer-lasting than regular lube. Lube is essential for the delicate anal area and slow pace of anal pleasure…

Lube is essential for all anal sex, including toys.

The anus doesn’t self-lubricate and naturally resists if stimulation doesn’t feel smooth and ‘resistance-free’.

Adding lube ensures that everything is kept super-sensual and deliciously slippery.

Anal lubricant is thicker and lasts longer than regular lube, which is why it is recommended for the gentle art of sensual anal pleasuring.

Remember, whichever toy you go for, put a generous dollop of lubricant on the tip of your toy and the anal area before you play, wiping any excess off  handle/base to ensure it’s not too slippery to keep a firm hold on.


 

Anal douching is not at all necessary but may help you feel more relaxed and so more receptive to anal pleasure...
Anal douching is not at all necessary but may help you feel more relaxed and so more receptive to anal pleasure…

Sensual, pain-free anal sex is all about being super-relaxed.

If worrying about ‘you-know-what’ ( yes- we’re talking poo)  will just make you tense, then starting your anal adventure in the shower is a good place to ensure you feel fresh and relaxed.

And whilst it’s by no way essential and is not an anal sex toy in the true sense (though it can feel very pleasurable) a douche will give you extra confidence about being super-clean for your anal play.


 

Latex gloves turn fingers into sleek anal pleasure-providers.
Latex gloves turn fingers into sleek anal pleasure-providers.

Latex gloves turn hands and fingers into smooth operators.

Snaggy or long nails might hurt your lovers delicate anal area? A cut on your hands or bitten-down fingernails,  which may make manual anal play unsafe? Or maybe you just feel a little squeamish about using hands or fingers for anal play?

A latex glove has the problem covered!

Plus, they sound sexy when snapped on suggestively and are perfect for medical fantasy role-play.


 

 

Analingus or ‘rimming’ is using your tongue to pleasure the anal area.

Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka 'rimming'
Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka ‘rimming’

A dam can be used to cover the anal area so you can  probe and lick away without a care in the world.

Both participants can worry about not always being fresh as a daisy ‘down there’.

This is understandable,  given the hang-ups and insecurities many of us have been given around this subject,

But worrying isn’t conducive to hot sex, just as rushing off to shower isn’t conducive to spontaneous sex.  A dam is simply a cheap, easy and tasty (they come in different flavours) way to enjoy relaxed impulsive rimming.

 

We hope you enjoy all your anal adventures!

 

Different Types of Safe Sex Supplies

We are always being told to rubber up before jumping in the sack, but many people are still in the dark about the different types of protection there are available protect you and your partner(s) from STI’s ( sexual transmitted infections).

Safe-sex advice often focuses on keeping safe during intercourse and anal sex and certainly these are the more riskier types of sex,   but sexual health is also important for lesbians, which is why we stock a range of safe sex supplies; not just condoms, but also  dams and gloves – to keep you covered, whatever your sexuality or preferred sexual activity.

 

Condoms are the cornerstone of safer-sex play and are the most widely used form of protection.

Use a fresh, new condom and lots of water-based lube every time you have penetrative sex (whether vaginal or anal), anytime going from back to front ( ie going from anal to vaginal) and anytime you share a sex toy.

Using a condom will protect both you and your partner against the majority of sexually transmitted infections.

Condoms, such as Pasante Extra condoms are  designed especially for anal play as they are thicker than your average condom and more resistant to breaking or tearing.

Using lube enhances glide ( and sensitivity!) - protecting safe-sex supplies from splitting or tearing
Using lube enhances glide ( and sensitivity!) – protecting safe-sex supplies from splitting or tearing

Many condoms are already lubricated but using extra lube on the outside further protects the condom from splitting as well as enhancing glide.

Putting a little lube inside the teat of the condom also enhances sensation for him but you only need a tiny drop to do the trick ( going overboard can mean the condom can slide off him altogether!)

Make sure you use proper lube and never( ever!) any moisturizers you have to hand, such as massage, baby oils or body lotions. Not only are they likely to  contain perfumes and chemicals that are irritating to delicate genital tissue, they are likely to contain mineral oils, which can degrade latex quickly, causing the condom to split.

 

Condoms can spice-up sex, as well as keep it safe…

Condoms can spice up sex added textures or stimulating sensations
Condoms can spice up sex added textures or stimulating sensations

As well as regular condoms, which come in Trim / Narrow-Fit , Large & Extra thin for added sensitivity, there’s also some great condoms to not just protect but also to add extra thrills to rubbering-up;

  • For extra stimulation, there’s Ribs & Dots Condoms which are textured on the outside to deliver extra stimulation
  • Heat things up  with stimulating condoms such as Pasante’s Climax Condoms . These specially ribbed condoms are coated in warming or cooling lubricants to enhance sensation.
  • Durex Mutual Climax Condoms are lubricated with a delay-infused ingredient to slow him down whilst the textured surface delivers more stimulation for you…
  • Flavoured condoms are best used for blow-jobs and make a tasty treat of oral sex.

 

A Dam is a safer-sex shield used for oral sex

Using a dam, when going down on her, aka cunnilingus ( oral-vaginal play) or for rimming aka anilingus (oral-anal play)

Don’t go down on someone who has an obvious outbreak of Herpes, or if you have a cold sore.  And visa versa…

The Herpes virus can cross between mouth and genitals, so unprotected oral play with a person carrying the virus could potentially result in a cold sore, or genital herpes outbreak.

 

Dental Dam Lube up the side of the dam that will come into contact with your lover’s vulva  or anus to enhance sensation and glide..
Our dams come in latex-free or flavoured varieties.

 

Latex Gloves are great multi-purpose safer sex accessories.

Gloves are great safe-sex supplies, transforming hands into super-sleek playthings...
Gloves are great safe-sex supplies, transforming hands into super-sleek playthings…

Small cuts on the hands, hang nails, those who bite their nails – there’s lots of reasons why to cover-up hands and protect yourself and your lover against possible transmission routes for viruses or bacteria.

Gloves are perfect for all manual sex play, and especially for fisting and anal play, where they turn hands into sleek playthings.

And there’s another benefit to using gloves; unlike skin, they don’t absorb lubricant so maintaining a sensual glide is easier with glove-covered mitts. Adding lots of water-based lubricant, transforms your hands and fingers  into incredibly slippery tools of pleasure!

Gloves are also great if you have particularly long nails, which might hurt or cut your partner. TIP:  Pop little balls of cotton wool into the fingertips of the glove, to protect the glove from tearing and give a cushioned effect for the receiver.

I’m allergic to latex – can I still have safer-sex?

Yes you can! We carry latex-free dams, latex-free gloves and non-latex condoms  for those with latex allergies. Latex allergy can range from mild to severe and even life-threatening.

 

Having the ‘safe sex’ talk

Pasante Single CondomSavvy women don’t expect a partner to sort out the safe-sex stuff, but do it themselves, by carrying a dam or condom, along with a sachet of lube, in their bags, just in case!

But safe-sex isn’t just about having and using the right supplies.

Talking about safer sex will help you make choices together and open up the conversation about sex; your likes, dislikes and like-to-try’s, which is a great basis for a GREAT relationship.

It’s best to start the conversation before you hit the bedroom, as once you’ve got to the heat of the moment, it can be really difficult to put the brakes one and bring up the condom-convo.

You might feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll feel much more at ease knowing you’ve got the right type of protection.

It would be so disappointing (and potentially very painful) to find out your new partner has a latex allergy, when all you have is latex condoms and dams.

We aren’t going to show you lots of pictures of infected genitalia – they are not pleasant, and many images are plastered over the internet anyway…a quick search will show you all you need to know!

What we do want to share is that all unprotected sex can be risky, albeit there are different risk levels for different types of play.

Although the risk of HIV infection is lower in lesbian sex than heterosexual or gay male partners, there is still the possibility of contracting a STI so always be sure to practice safer sex, whatever your sexuality.

We urge everyone to get tested regularly and rubber up with new partners, because taking control of your sexual heath and well-being is really sexy.