My vagina is a penetration-free zone – here’s why…

Non-penetrative sex.

Yes, it exists. And it can be better than what you might think of as “normal” sex.

Your largest organ is your skin and that skin is packed with erogenous zones all over your body. From your armpit to your knee, arousal can be experienced through different types of stimulation, yet many of us grow up believing that getting busy centers around one action… We’re talking about penis in vagina sex, P-i-V.

The hetero-patriarchal society that typically grooms us has cultivated the belief that sex in its most basic sense involves penetration. Whether that be anal or vaginal, other forms of sexual activity are traditionally regarded as mere precursors to the grande finale. Like the Superhero blockbuster sequel you never asked for, this sequential narrative of a beginning, a middle and an end is anything but penetrating. We find it rather predictable.


It’s not newsworthy that the majority of women struggle to orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, and without a toy. But who says that you have to have penetrative sex to seal the deal? Often, clitoral simulation provides a sure-fire way to reaching orgasmic peaks. This being the case as long as your mood, the ambiance in the room you’re in, and your overall state of relaxation are all cooperating.

There are many other ways to enjoy yourself once you drop these ideas of sex as a screenplay. Sexual activity is a whole playground of sensation that you can start, end or continue with at any lubed-up point you desire. Placing end goals on sex can do way more harm than good. It can prove exasperating for individuals who experience Vaginisimus or orgasmic/erectile difficulties, for example.

We like to call sexual activity “play” for a reason, and namely, that’s because it doesn’t need a lesson plan. “Play” doesn’t require an erect penis or a moist vaginal canal for it to be erotic and more-ish. “Play” is pleasure-focused and it doesn’t end just because someone had an orgasm – in fact,  sex lasts much longer because typically, everyone involved enjoys as many orgasms as they can handle.

For uterus owners – your vagina may be the most powerful thing you own, but don’t overlook your vulva. Your vulva is important. It deserves unwavering attention in the form of Caring, Loving, Intimate Tenderness (C-L-I-T).

Now, let’s be real. There is no better way to worship your clit than with a suction toy. In a new era of sexual pleasure, these toys are designed to simulate a sucking sensation. Add in a splash of lube and it’ll feel like someone’s lips are tending to your luscious front-garden. Whether you prefer the ultra deluxe Womanizer variety or the more affordable Satisfyer range, suction toys have the critics raving in a matter of minutes.

Zero penetration required.

A common myth we’ve noticed circulating is that penetrative sex is more intimate than other types of sex.

Who decided this?

How exactly did they measure it?


Our sexperts have never personally whacked out measuring tapes to decipher this. Surely, someone who is keen and willing to smother your backdoor in smooches deserves some credit? A gold star, perhaps! Anything less and it’s surely a slap in the face?

But what is non-penetrative play and how do I do it with a partner?

Good question.

­Non-penetrative play can involve sensual massages, teasing touches and, of course, hours of oral play. You can spend days and days exploring each other’s bodies and getting to know what exactly makes your partner(s) tick. You can rub and grind on each other, kissing deeply, and don’t forget to go to town on breasts and nipples – those are awesome for playing with!

Turn it into a game with the help of one of ours, such as the Tease & Please Kinky Heart game. Take turns to pick out tasks that will leave you begging for more! Use your imagination and embrace exploration. Why not leave the bedroom and fool around in the bathroom, the kitchen, the hall? Buy an O Wand and you’ll forget penetration is even a thing!


Plus, if you are a vagina-owner and you are self-conscious around the sheets when on your period, you can simply pop in a menstrual cup (see Mooncup or Fun Factory’s Fun Cup) and enjoy yourself stress-free. This is the perfect chance to introduce new, fun games into the mix. Focus your attentions on skin and sensitive areas, take turns to enact sexy activities on each other or role-play saucy fantasies. Invest in some handcuffs and restrain your partner to the bed or explore the art of rope-play…

Removing the pressure of putting one body part into another opens up a world of possibilities. It’s hot and erotic, and it’s likely to boost sexual satisfaction. Whether the reasons for saying ‘no, ta’  to penetration are long-term or short-term, there is only one thing to remember:

There are so many ways to explore your sexuality without ramming a plug in the socket.


Orgie’s Natural High: Hemp Seed Oil Lube

You wanted it – you got it!

Due to popular demand, we have searched high and low for our favourite hemp seed oil infused lubricant. Not only that, but we’ve gone and found an orgasm enhancer as well.

Wait…hemp oil in a sex product?

If you find yourself a tad bemused by this combo then simply read on to find out more. Perhaps, the Hemp Lube Tube could become your new slippery staple!

Scent and taste-free, the Orgie Hemp Lube feels smooth and lovely to use. As it’s a water-based formula, it’s suitable for use with all of your favourite toys as well. Just so you know though, the lube has a green tinge, which makes good sense when you think about it, but might raise an eyebrow or two when you squeezing some out and start applying to erotic areas…


If you want to switch things up a little bit more, there is also a hemp oil orgasmic gel to try.

Just one small squirt onto the intended intimate area (suitable for poons, peens and in-betweens) will deliver multiple lovely sensations such as tingling, heating, and cooling. By encouraging blood flow to the area, this increases sensitivity and stimulation, meaning that orgasms are about to get toe-curlingly intense. Yas please!

The orgasm gel also has a green tinge (we see a pattern here) and it has a slight taste; nothing unpleasant, but it does make your tongue fizzle a bit.

What is hemp seed oil?

Hemp seed oil is one of three categories of hemp oil, with the other two being hemp essential oil and CBD oil. All three are sourced from specific parts of the hemp plant, aka cannabis sativa. Although often confused for CBD oil, hemp seed oil differs in that it comes mainly from hemp seeds (hence the name). These seeds have significantly lower amounts of cannabinoids in comparison to any other part of the plant. This means that despite sharing a lot of the same vitamins, minerals, and natural acids as CBD oil, hemp seed oil won’t make you remotely high…so instead, we’ll leave that up to your partner.

What’s more, as long as the type of hemp oil comes from one of the 63 industrially approved hemp strains under EU law, then it is totally legal. These oils are classed as hemp when containing less than 0.2% of THC (the psychoactive cannabinoid) – if above this level then they are officially classed as cannabis and are illegal. So don’t worry, we are not about to get you arrested.


What are the benefits?

There are many widely recognised health benefits of hemp seeds. For one, they are nutritious – even more so than the favourites of numerous East London health stores: chia or flaxseeds. Specifically, they are mega-high in fatty acids and proteins and are considered to be a complete protein source, similar to quinoa. This means that they are packed with natural acids, such as amino acids. Altogether, hemp seeds are thought to boost your immune system and are better for you than a wide range of nuts and veg. Their high level of gamma-linolenic acid (GLA) has even been linked to aiding the physical and emotional symptoms of PMS and menopause due to the reaction between GLA’s production of prostaglandin E1 with the bodily hormone prolactin (it’s your body’s reaction to this hormone that causes such issues). This can reduce breast tenderness, plateauing moods and fluid retention amongst other symptoms.

A quick google and you can find numerous vitamins and minerals that hemp seeds are well endowed in.


What has all this nutritional information got to do with sex? Is Sh! converting into a wellness blog?

No, we are not. But, these benefits do mean a great deal for your downstairs sex demons – vaginas especially. The amino acids that are found both within hemp seed oil and the vagina are specialised to balance PH levels and avoid infection inside your intimate area. The less lubed-up your vaginal walls are during any sort of penetrative play, the more likely you are to contract a yeast infection, a UTI or to irritate the skin with fissures – causing a breeding ground for bacteria and infection. The natural properties of hemp seed oil moisturise and soothe skin whilst being anti-inflammatory.

But what about oral play?

The above rules still apply; the more slippery your sex is, the more fun it’s going to be! Adding lube is a great way of ensuring all areas feel moist and lovely. You might think that saliva is enough and sometimes it is; however, we often find that a few drops of lube make things even smoother and if fingers are being inserted into orifices then lube is – in our opinion – essential.

Happy Hemping, people!

Valentine's Day Blog Post

Valentine’s Day for Two or More

It’s the most sensual time of the year again (isn’t it always?). Saint Valentine is flapping his wings and sprinkling rose petals all over the shop. Love it or hate it, the 14th February is the perfect opportunity to give your special someone/s a token of your unwavering adoration. For those who usually struggle to find time – this should be already printed in your diary. Make the most of it. Do something different this year: anyone over the age of 8 does not need another teddybear.

Think of us as your own personal Cupid. We have three different arrows you could fire at your lover(s) – romance, fantasy or one focused on unleashing your wild side…

Don’t let your special day this year be a letdown.



For a romantic Valentine’s Day, it’s the details that count.

You can’t do Valentine’s Day without a romantic dinner. This year, however, increase the heat with another type of remote vibrator. More appeasing than any Hors d’Oeuvres we’ve come across before, the IJoy vibe is the perfect shape to slip into a pair of saucy underwear before dinner.  Pass the discreet remote controller to your date and let them control the level of heat in each dish. Otherwise, we also sell underwear specifically designed for this purpose. These come with an inbuilt bullet and a control disguised in the form of a black ring.

Save your Barry White rendition for another occasion and instead, think about a present that your partner(s) will truly value. Why not invest in a cherry-picked sex toy in their favourite colour? You could team this with a massage oil of their favourite scent for a dessert made to delight; simply lather up and then rub down.

For those who prefer penetration, the We-Vibe Sync increases intensity to an effervescent level. Generally, women experience higher levels of earth-shattering pleasure through clitoral stimulation. By slipping in one of these toys and bending to the body, the wearer then has something to grind against when being penetrated. What’s more, both partners do not even need to be together to use this toy, which makes it ideal for those who are spending this year’s Valentine’s Day apart. The We-Vibe Sync can be controlled through an app from anywhere in the world…



Celebrating Valentine’s Day fantasy-style is an excuse to let loose.

During a recent class, one guest shared that her fantasy is to be covered in butter and salt, before being handed over to a couple of chefs for a proper roasting… Not quite the Sunday dinner Mary Berry would approve of (or is it?) but we love the imagination!

If butter and salt isn’t your thing, there are plenty of other things to try. One of our faves is The Maid. The Maid can be sweet, saucy or downright rude, depending on your preference. Bending over to show juicy bits is a classic move, as is “accidentally” placing your boobers over their face when reaching for something just out of reach… (Is there a word for this move? Faceboob? Let us know!)

If your boo has a sweet tooth and you like to potter about in the kitchen, chocolate-covered strawberries are quick and easy to prepare. Serve on a platter, and feed them slowly. It’ll get messy, but that’s easily sorted: The Maid will lick it off!

The Stripper is another fantasy that doesn’t take much prep but creates memories that last a lifetime.


Put together a playlist of your favorite tunes; pick the music you like to get down n’ dirrrty to as that’ll set the mood faster than you can say “Well hello, Sailor”. Low lights and scented candles create atmosphere, and if your Sailor enjoys a glass of whiskey, why not pour them one on the rocks before taking to the ‘stage’.

You don’t need to prepare moves for your Stripper routine; shimmying your shoulders and dipping your hips low on the beat will be enough to set their pulses racing and earn you a “raise”!

Excite your sweetheart by stepping out of your clothes, but leave on stockings, suspenders and gorgeous nipple decorations for what comes next…


Are you on the hunt for a BDSM experience like no other? Perhaps you’ve been inspired to delve into your deepest domming desires for the first time? Maybe you need to prove your unflappable obedience like the attentive sub you are?

At Sh! we are here to help and advise so you can iron out any kinks you don’t want to feature in your Valentine’s Day celebration. Browse in-store and online to see our full range of gags, whips and durable leather – now isn’t the time to practice self-restraint…unless you want to, that is.

If your innermost desire is to unleash the Vixen inside, Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to do it. Browse our range of MAZE faux leather fetish accessories for inspiration, and pick up a copy of the Mistress Manual for tips on how to best keep a wayward slave under control.

Bind your partner with love & bondage tape before dripping hot wax on their skin (n.b. don’t waste your TK Maxx bargains for this, we have specialised body-safe candles for such activities that won’t burn your skin). Tease them until they just can’t take anymore with our ostrich feather tickler. For subs deserving of a spank, try one of our tawses or heart-shaped paddles.


Ultimately, it doesn’t matter which version of Valentine you want to celebrate this year. Just remember, no one likes a Scrooge.



Unlock Your Squirting Sexcess with Lola Jean

Squirting – What is it? Where does it come from? How do I do it?

These are a few of the most common question we get in our East London boutique and it seems that for our customers, squirting is the Holy Grail. Some do, some don’t, but many try, try, and try again.

Eagerly pursued, wet orgasms have a reputation of being ‘better’ than any other kind and those who have yet to master the art of filling a wine glass in just a few seconds (don’t worry, we too felt like we were under-performing when a friend shared this nugget with us) all want to know the secret of making it happen: Can every woman squirt? Is it pee? And – the biggest conundrum of ’em all – does squirting always mean orgasm?

To get answers to these questions, and many more, we have booked in an evening with the Squirting Queen herself, Lola Jean!

Learn more about the science, mechanics and what products can help you on your squirty journey

American Lola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer, and self-proclaimed Olympian Squirter. And with a sex-CV like that, it’s no wonder women of all ages flock to her classes, keen on learning from the best!

Lola-Jean-Squirting-QueenAlso known as ‘The Squirting Queen’, Lola Jean learned to understand and harness her ability to squirt not only with a lover but on her own through masturbation. It wasn’t an overnight sensation, but an Olympian squirter she became.

Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.

Lola’s background in the mental health field gives her a deep understanding to the mental blocks many individuals may face. A sex geek to the core, Lola continues to develop her teachings and avenues where she can spread her sexpertise to the world.

As featured in The New York Times, Elite Daily and Men’s Health, Lola offers a variety of FemDom, Wrestling, Squirting, and Masturbation classes and frequently makes appearances performing at House of Yes and The Box.

 Book Your Ticket Here!

Expect a refresher on anatomy and a window into the experience of squirt performances. Though involuntary squirting is not the focus of this class, Lola will explain techniques and what to look for during both solo and partnered exploration.



Competition: Win a Womanizer Starlet Sex Toy Worth £69!

The festive season is upon us and we’re making merry by giving away a fantabulous Womanzier Starlet suction toy!

Petite yet powerful, Womanizer Starlet has 4 levels of intensity (honestly, you don’t need more!) and retails at a cool £69 – but you can get your hands on it for free!

Womanizer Starlet is small in size but big on orgasm-reliability. Our toy tester confirms it’s easy to hold and use, and a full charge offers a 30-minute play session – but from experience, we know that Womanizer sex toys usually delivers within mere minutes!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

The new generation of sex toys – suction toys – are winning 5-star reviews from customers, toy testers and sex bloggers alike. Once you get the hang of it, suction toys need very little to work their magic. A drizzle of water-based lube, regular USB charging and a comfortable space for you to relax whilst the toy builds you up to orgasmic explosions pretty much covers it… Well, cleaning of course, but the removable silicone nozzle makes it easy peasy.

Here’s how it works:

The nozzle of Womanizer Starlet sits comfortably over the clitoris and offers magnificent suction, not dissimilar to really good oral sex.


We have found that the majority of our customers experience intense orgasms with their suction toys, more so than with any other kind of vibrator. The ‘pleasure air’ technology is very clever and few clits can resist the temptation.

If you find it hard to climax, one of these can make all the difference, so what are you waiting for – enter our competition now and Womanizer Starlet could be all yours!

Good luck!


**A winner has now been selected at random, so check your inboxes!

Terms & Conditions
No purchase necessary to enter or win.

The competition ends on 31st December 2018.

The winner of the Competition will be selected in a random drawing from among all eligible entries received throughout the promotion period.

The winner will be notified by email at the email address provided in the Entry Information on or about 48 hours after the random drawing. Potential winner must accept a prize by email as directed by Sh! within 48 hours of notification. Any winner notification not responded to or returned as undeliverable may result in prize forfeiture.

Prizes cannot be transferred, redeemed for cash or substituted by winner.



Squirting & Masturbation Class with Lola Jean (aka the Squirting Queen)

The elusive world of squirting is having its time in the sun—and for good reason! What is it? Where does it come from? How do I do it?


Sex Educator Lola Jean learned to understand and harness her ability to squirt not only with a lover but on her own through masturbation. It was not an overnight sensation, but a journey to the Olympian squirter she became. Learn the science, mechanics and what products can help you on your squirty journey.

 Join Us!

Can every woman squirt? Is it pee? Lola finally puts a rest to these questions and any others you may have for a brief Q&A.

Expect a refresher on anatomy and a window into the experience of squirt performances. Though involuntary squirting is not the focus of this class, Lola will explain techniques and what to look for during both solo and partnered exploration.

More About Lola Jean

Lola-Jean-Squirting-QueenLola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer and self proclaimed Olympian Squirter.

Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.

As featured in The New York Times, Elite Daily and Men’s Health, Lola offers a variety of FemDom, Wrestling, Squirting, and Masturbation classes and frequently makes appearances performing at House of Yes and The Box.

Lola’s background in the mental health field gives her a deep understanding to the mental blocks many individuals may face. A sex geek to the core, Lola continues to develop her teachings and avenues where she can spread her sexpertise to the world.

5 Tips For Boosting Your Orgasm

There are different types of orgasms and bodies have the fantastic ability to experience different ones during a sexual lifetime. There are the great ones; you might know the kind – you can’t stay still, you’re wriggling and squirming, your legs are shaking until finally, an explosion erupts between your thighs and you’re left quivering and panting… We like those ones!

There are long & strong ones, there are short & sharp ones, cresting ones, wet ones, fast ones, multiple ones and also, the kind we like the least: the ones that are so weak you wonder why you even bothered. The last kind is pitiful little vaginal sneezes that leave you frustrated and disappointed rather than sleepy and satisfied. Blips on the orgasmic radar.

Luckily, there are a number of things that can be done in order to amp up the intensity and pleasure of orgasms, and we’ve got five of our top tips listed below.

Turn up the heat

Did you know that heat helps to increase the blood flow to the vulva, which in turn is great for stronger orgasms?

Relaxing in a hot, steamy bath before play is an excellent way of getting warmed up and ready for fun. A gentle stroke and feel of your labia lips whilst bathing will help kickstart blood flow to the area. You’ll know it’s working when warmth starts building from the inside, the labia lips darkens and feels “puffier”.


Try using lube

Lube sometimes gets a bad rap; there are actually folks out there who still believe that lube is something “for old women”.


Lube can certainly be helpful if your muffkin is feeling dehydrated or uncomfortable for some reason, but actually, lube is very sexy and we recommend having a bottle handy.

Certain lubes, like ID Pleasure, can help increase the frequency and power of female orgasms as it contains a naturally occurring amino acid which encourages blood flow to the area, heightening sensations. ID Pleasure combines natural sensation-enhancing ingredients like Ginko Biloba, Red Clover, and Menthol to ensure blood flow to genitals is at peak performance. For penises, this means firmer erections and for vaginas, it means tingly sensations.

Add a vibrator into the mix

For about 75% of those with clitorises, the clit plays a major part in orgasmic pleasure.

As much fun as fingers, tongues, and toes can be, it’s not uncommon for the person focused on pleasuring said clit to run out of steam or develop jaw ache at a crucial moment.

This is when a vibrator comes in really handy.


For the majority, the key to strong, long-lasting orgasms is sustained clitoral stimulation. Pair this with the vibrations of a sex toy and you’re in for a thrilling ride. We like the Rocks Off Twister Vibrator, which comes with 7 different vibration settings, is fully waterproof and suits all bodies.

For a truly toe-curling time, start on the lowest setting and work your way up. As the strength of the vibrations builds, so will your pleasure… Which neatly brings us on to the next tip:


‘Edging’ is a fancy word for ‘holding back your orgasm for as long as you can’ and you should add it to your sex dictionary sharpish.

This is a tried & tested method that may take a while to perfect but once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll be able to ‘edge’ your way to orgasm over and over until you have no other option but to let the orgasm rock your body before leaving you spent and grinning. Good times!

As you get to know your body and how it reacts to the right kind of stimulation, you’ll know when an orgasm is near. At this point, stop the rubbing/patting/touching that feels so good and focus on another body part for a while. (We know, frustrating, right?!)

Once you feel in control after having reversed back down the hump of pleasure, start edging yourself closer to the top again. And stop just before climax again.

Carry this on for as long as you can stand it and when you eventually let go, you’ll be able to enjoy what’ll seem like a neverending, thunderous orgasm!


Find out exactly what you like

If you’re really keen to enhance your sex life and make your orgasms as strong as can be, you need to focus on finding out what it is that really gets you off. Before you get down to it with a partner, try experimenting with different techniques on yourself with your fingers or toys.

Having some uninterrupted time will help you relax into your body and allow it to enjoy your touches. If you’re into erotic stories or films, you might like to get your brain aroused by reading or watching something – after all, our brains are our biggest sex organs. If you want to try porn without having to trawl through the many free-but-oh-so-unsexy clips on the web, we recommend giving Erika Lust a go. Lust is an award-winning, ethical, adult film-maker and you can check out her website here.

Knowing your own body and working out your pleasure points is a sure fire way of experiencing more pleasurable orgasms.


Orgasm Blog Post

Common misconceptions about the female orgasm

Throughout history the female orgasm has been the subject of analysis and interest, both for those who experience them (or not, as the case may be) and for those who hope to help their partners achieve them.

Many ask if female orgasms are real, while others wonder what their purpose is.

Unlike the male orgasm, female orgasm plays no major part in conception, and it can be concluded that  only function is to offer pleasure. We’re not complaining about this, but we feel the difficulty in achieving orgasms for women, in particular, is a major biological flaw.

There’s plenty of information circulating about the female orgasm, but how much of it is true?

We’re keen to set the record straight about the Big Oh, so read on as we dispel some of the biggest myths and misconceptions surrounding the female orgasm.

All women can have multiple orgasms

In fairness, women who do orgasm have got it pretty good. Many women don’t, which isn’t to say they won’t in the future; this is something that can be learned with time, patience and maybe a little bit of help from a vibrator.

The good news is that once you have learned how it works for you and you can bring on an orgasm, it is possible to keep on coming again and again. This is referred to as multiple orgasms and is often done with continued stimulation of the G-spot.

However, not all women respond to stimulation of their G-spot and as the clitoris tends to get over-stimulated after one orgasm, multiple orgasms aren’t something that every woman can just do. It requires knowledge of how your body works, the right tools (fingers, penis or toy) and lots of practice.

Positioning makes no difference when it comes to reaching an orgasm

We’re calling time on this belief.

A position that works for you could mean having a toe-curling climax whilst a position that doesn’t stimulate your hotspots in the right way may mean a lukewarm ‘meh’ experience…

The best position varies from person to person: for some women, this means being on top. This allows either themselves or their partner to stimulate their clitoris with their fingers. Since most women don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, having easy access to the clitoris can be crucial when it comes to coming.

For other women this may mean being flat on their backs – despite its reputation for being ‘dull’, the missionary position can be really useful for orgasm-surety. It allows you to rock your hips back and forth, or grind against your partners pubic bone. Again, it is most often the stimulation of the clitoris that makes the magic happen.

A good starting point is trying to recreate your favorite solo-sesh position but with a toy or penis joining the party.

It’s okay to fake orgasms

Pretty much everyone has been there at some point. A partner is giving it their all, but nothing happens and the pressure to orgasm so the partner can feel they’ve done a good job builds, and before you know it, a bit of loud moaning makes it seem like a fantastic orgasm just happened. The partner is happy, you are happy(-ish) and at least they had a great time even if you didn’t…

Catch 22.

The problem with faking is that it lets your partner believe that you experienced an incredible orgasm when you didn’t.

Each person is responsible for their own orgasm, and having an honest and open conversation about what you like and what gets you off will ensure next encounter is both better and hotter.


tea-party-final (1)

Sex In Your 50’s & 60’s

‘Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength’    Betty Friedan

Thinking of parents having sex can feel disturbing, and something most of us avoid like the plague. We know we should be adult enough about these things, but when your mum’s new boyfriend asks – across the dining table, no less – if you sell Viagra, you’ll be excused for having suddenly gone off your Sunday dinner. Some things are just too close for comfort.

Having had some time (years) to get over said incident, and having spent even more time (years) thinking about it, we have come to a conclusion: sex is important to all of us, regardless of age. Even if it does involve your mum.

Finding yourself single in your 50’s or 60’s after decades as a firm twosome can be disorienting and scary.

Sex may or may not be the first thing a newly-single woman thinks about, but eventually the mind is likely to go there: What if? When? How? Could I even..?

As confidence grows, you might start thinking about dating again, and all of a sudden you realise that the options on what in the past may have been a very limited menu, are now all yours to pick & choose from – a virtual buffet of pleasure! Embracing your new-found status as a sassy singleton goes from being terrifying to right down exhilarating.

Blue rinses used to be a sign of having reached a certain age, of being ‘past it’, but these days it shows you’ve still got it: women of all ages are getting blue, pink or purple highlights, with many more choosing to rock their natural silver strands – which looks awesome, by the way!

Getting a cut & colour (upstairs & downstairs), taking up a new hobby and joining one of the many dating apps for the over 50’s are all things that can help a single woman feel more in charge of her budding love life. Because it is budding, a late awakening of sorts – it is new, fresh and exciting: doing all the things you’ve read about and finally have the confidence to not only ask for, but also try out.

We’ve had the pleasure of speaking to many of these feisty women during their visits to our shop in Hoxton, and we’re always thrilled. These women are having fun, and they are on the look-out for lovers or life partners who are equally keen on exploring sexual possibilities. They have spent far too long going without or making-do with someone else’s pleasure; they are ready to rumble around in the sheets with gusto.

Love FingersWe know one such lovely couple. They are both retired, and have plenty of time for their two hobbies: travelling and sex. They stop by from time to time, looking for new vibrating gizmos or sexy outfits to keep the fires burning. The husband buzzes around her like a hormonal teenager, and he is more than happy to buy anything and everything that piques her interest – he has a vested interest, after all. It is clear that sex is important to them and it is heart-warming to see how happy and in love they are.

Sex, in your mature years, is not only excellent for getting the blood pumping and putting a youthful spring in your step, but it has a number of other benefits too:

  • Sex reduces stress
  • Enhances your mood
  • Strengthens the immune system
  • Boosts self-esteem
  • Relieves depression
  • Revs up creative energy
  • Makes skin glow
  • Feels good!

There is one thing in particular the silver generation like to ask us about: orgasms.

They may have spent the better part of 2-3 decades tending to family, cooking, cleaning and perhaps even performing ‘wifely duties’ after dark with little to no expectation for pleasure of their own.

Often they feel they have a lot of catching up to do…

The first stop should always be the lube shelf. For most women, age & menopause causes the vaginal membranes to become thinner and drier which often makes for uncomfortable play. You may have heard that ‘women don’t need lube, they should be wet enough‘ but that’s an outdated belief that needs to be unsubscribed to sharpish.

Lube Shelf

A bottle of viscous lube should be a staple, and as a modern woman in charge of her own pleasure, you should have a bottle handy for all sexual adventures. Plus, lube often double as excellent hand creams.

We often get asked if it isn’t ’embarrassing’ to bring out a bottle of lube and the answer is always, in one word: no. It really isn’t. It shows you are prepared for pleasure & play, and to be honest; you don’t want sex to get chafey… That really isn’t fun or pleasurable. We say: wield your bottle of lube with pride!

Je Joue Ami

Love Balls are essential – childbirth and ageing takes a natural toll whether we like it or not. Keeping vaginal muscles in good shape is important: it helps avoid leaky issues, and it’ll encourage stronger orgasms too.

Pop a pair of love balls in as you go about your day and you’ll find it’s a way of training that requires very little input, but still delivers maximum output. The balls will rock & roll against your G-spot as you move about, which can be very arousing…

Je Joue Ami, a set of three weighted pelvic floor exercisers encased in sensual silicone, is a fantastic kit. The idea is to progressively tone up the pelvic floor by using increasingly heavier weights. Over time, you’ll develop better control which means you’ll feel more during penetrative sex. It’s a win-win!

As the body ages, arousal can take a little longer, but with the help of a pleasure gel or oil  you’ll find that your vulva may still be exceptionally responsive. These products enhance blood flow to the lady garden, making labia lips and clitoris swell with pleasure.

Add a little bit of the enhancing gel or oil directly to your finger, and then massage it into the tissue around the clitoris. You’ll feel a warm, tingling sensation – this is the product working its magic.

Age can change how sexual pleasure feels, and clitoral sensitivity may increase or decrease.

If it’s the latter, a small but intense vibrator buzzing away on and around the clit can be a game changer. The Sh! Secret vibe offers 20 different settings and packs a real pleasure punch.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

If the high pitched buzz of Sh! Secret isn’t for you, we recommend giving Sh! Easy Egg a chance. A lower, rumblier vibration can help tip you over the edge faster than you can steep a cup of tea… It takes 2 x AAA batteries – handy – and the soft cover with its raised nodules offer extra texture to rub against.

Sh! Easy Egg has a cord between the vibrating egg and the control. This is works especially well for couples’ play – your partner can hold the control whilst you enjoy the egg, so you are still playing together.

The We Vibe Tango is also a hit with our more mature customers. It’s a stylish lipstick-style vibe with 8 modes and USB charger. It’s really easy to hold and place against various hot spots. If discreet design is important, We Vibe Tango looks just like a designer lippy.  And – one more thing, Tango is 100% waterproof for play in the bath or shower.

Fun Factory Semilino is a cute, smaller-sized vibe with a number of different setting to enjoy. Lube up the ridges on the shaft before inserting, and then practice doing your pelvic floor squeezes around the vibe. We promise a work out has never been so much fun!

Self-lubricating internal vibe Cascade with its soft, rippled tip is perfect for stimulating the G-spot. A press of a button releases just the right amount of lube for comfortable play. We often hear women say their G-spot became more sensitive and more receptive to stimulation as they got older. Jiggle Cascade in firm come-hither motions on your G-spot and you might just find that a super-strong orgasm is happy to make its way over to you…

For women who want it all – and who doesn’t! – Demona Wave Vibrator is a great choice. Ergonomically designed, the curved shaft presses against the G-spot and slowly strokes it when the extraordinary wave motion is activated. Meanwhile, the soft clitoral stimulator deliver vibration to the clit and you may find yourself enjoying what’s known as a blended orgasm.


Last but not least, we also want to draw your attention to Wand vibrators. These have been popular toys since the 70’s when Godmother of Masturbation, Betty Dodson started the first version of her famous BodySex workshops – teaching women how to masturbate to orgasm. In a group! (We are maybe a little bit too British for that, but our classes on female arousal & orgasms are pretty darn good too.) Now in her 80’s, Betty is still going strong – a true inspiration!

But back to the Wands – high intensity with a deep rumble, it is very hard to not have on orgasms with one of these. If your libido is very low, a Wand buzzing away on the clitoris can help kickstart arousal and pleasure again.

We love to hear from our mature customers, so feel free to leave us a message below – tips, tricks, advice, we’re looking forward to all of it. Or, if you have a question for us, please email advice@sh-womenstore.com and we’ll be able to offer tailored advice. 🙂









Silicone dildos vs rubber dildos advice

Q&A: Why Can’t I Orgasm?

I’m looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi Fusion and although it worked for me at first,  it’s now not doing the job. I now have a partner who’s happy to use sex toys so that’s not a problem but I’m finding it impossible to have an orgasm. I’m 58 and wondering if that’s the problem although I think I have strong vaginal walls etc. I would be grateful if you could give me some ideas.

Hi there,

Many thanks for your email!

The Stronic Bi Fusion is a toy that offers deep vibrations and pulsing, thrusting sensations, so we’re guessing that this is the kind of intensity that works best for you.

Wand vibrators are super-popular with women who find it difficult to reach orgasm and we think this could be a good option for you. Sexologists like Betty Dodson often recommend this type of sex toys.

The vibrations are exceptionally deep and reverberates through the body, most often with joyous results!

The Sh! Magic Wand massager offers 10 different settings, all designed to knock socks (or panties) off.


The Wand is rather big, but surprisingly light to hold and maneuver. Place it on or near the lower part of your stomach before moving it closer to your clitoris – it’s important to build up desire before attempting an explosive climax.

The strength of you vaginal walls should be  a positive – the stronger the PC muscle, the stronger your orgasms usually are. Your age should not be a problem either – orgasms are ageless!

What could play in is your general health – are you taking any medication that could effect libido, for example? If so, it could be an idea to discuss this with your doctor. There might be other, more suitable options.

Best of luck!

Love, Team Sh xx