advice vibrator

Clitoral Orgasm Set

Clitoral Pleasure Set £22
Clitoral Pleasure Set £22

Several of our bestsellers in a cute gift box.

The small but mighty Sh! Bullet vibrator has been around for a long time and is still as popular as when it was first introduced. Single speed and dinky enough to keep in your pocket without raising eyebrows, the Sh! Bullet comes ready-loaded with three cell batteries. Coupled with a travel-size bottle of paraben-free Lush Pure lube, a tester sachet of the bestselling Tickle Her Pink enhancing gel for extra zing and a spray bottle of sex toy cleaner. Perfect size for travelling, wedding-night surprises or as a little pick-me-up treat after a long week.

Experience First Orgasm with Clitoral Vibrator

Many women experience their first orgasm with a clit vibrator and clit toys are just as great for couples play as for solo sessions. Hop on over to our page about the clit and clitoral pleasure to learn more!

Q&A

Q&A: Never Had an Orgasm

Dear Sh!

I am 27 and my fiance is 35.  We have been together for 3 years. I have always complained to him that I have never enjoyed sex with him and this is leading to a painful stop in our relationship.

My problem is that I have never had an orgasm in my life before because I don’t know how to achieve it and it’s really hurting.

I implore that you help me ” move” out of this situation and save my relationship for me.

 

Hi there

We’re very glad that you have taken the first and important step of addressing your sexual needs. As you rightly acknowledge, lack of fulfilling or enjoyable sex can have a hugely negative effect on a relationship, no matter how “close” you might be with your partner in other ways.

Ultimately your partner will need to be involved in the discussion about your sex lives as he will have to know when you are enjoying sex or if it is hurting you.

Firstly, try not to worry that you’ve never had an orgasm (yet!).

Orgasms need you to be relaxed and on a voyage of discovery to happen, not all stressed and feeling like a failure.

And don’t feel alone – over the years we’ve advised  thousands of women who’ve never had an orgasm – many of whom have later contacted us to tell us of their success!

If you’ve never had an orgasm, the first step is learning to how do it on your own. Then you can guide your partner to what works for you.

Many women achieve their first orgasm with a vibrator and this is where you should start.

Most women’s orgasm are clitoral so stimulating the external part of the clitoris is where you should concentrate on.

Sh! Easy Egg
Sh! Easy Egg £22

The Sh! Easy Egg vibrator is a good clitoral vibe for newbies as it’s inexpensive and easy to use.  If you’ve not spent much time looking at, or feeling, your clitoris, we suggest getting a small hand mirror and taking a good look, exploring what feel good with your fingers.

Good quality Rabbit vibrators have helped a thousands of women achieve their first orgasm because they simultaneously stimulate you externally and internally. If you’ve never played with a vibrator before, you may think that they look a bit complicated, but when buying any sex toy, it is worth thinking about which one is the most likely to help you achieve orgasm (if you need any advice – just call us on 03333 444 005 and we’ll happily talk through the options and which might suit you best). Getting the right toy will mean you are open to its pleasures which in turn will mean you get the most pleasure from it.

We ‘d also advise using lubricant too. Lube enhances sensations with all sex toys and it’s also brilliant for sex with your fiancee too.

Lubricant makes all sex sensually slippery and penetration easier, therefore less likely to cause you pain.

There is nothing wrong with you if you use lubricant, it’s just a fab addition to sex play.

A great way to apply lubricant is to rub it to each other’s sexy bits and take your time doing it!

Around a third of women find it hard to orgasm during penetrative sex, so it’s much better to take your focus and goal off this and concentrate on lots of clitoral stimulation.

Being on top might make it  easier to achieve orgasm during penetration 

…as you can rub your clitoris against his body, or with your fingers, at the same time.

Sex “on all fours” (with you on your hands and knees as if you were crawling), with him from behind can be easier to stimulate the G-spot.

We hope that this has been of some help to you. Although learning to pleasure yourself is a very important and healthy step to understanding your sexuality, your relationship and sexual activity is ultimately something that needs to be nurtured by both of you.

By making sexual exploration a fun part of your sex life, it can be an exciting and rewarding for both partners.

Try to make your “sex session” last longer, with more time at the beginning to touch, massage, kiss and look at each other. Feathers can feel sensual and soft over the naked body and help “get you in the mood”.

Bathing each other beforehand or getting “dressed up” can also be a fun way to begin. You will enjoy sex more and it will feel more comfortable if you are “ready” – wet, and relaxed.

At Sh! we believe it is every woman’s (and man’s) right to enjoy a safe, fun healthy sex life.

We wish you both the very best in achieving this.

Team Sh!

Q&A

Q&A: Need Legs Together to Orgasm?

Hi,

I was wondering if you could help.

I have never had a problem in reaching an orgasm through clitoral stimulation, but my legs have to be together and rigid

…this brings on a mind-blowing multiple orgasm (especially with the Pocket Rocket Vibrator), but when my partner either performs oral sex on me or stimulates my clitoris during sex, I never quite reach the same level, as my legs are apart.

I do however have a different type of orgasm through penetration, so my man does satisfy me, I know he wants to feel me coming whilst he is going down on me, but I’m too shy to tell him about my leg clamping thing and I don’t want to crush his head, are there any exercises I can do to make me orgasm the same way but in different positions?

Hi there,

Firstly we know what you mean about the Pocket Rocket Vibrator – it certainly is a great clitoral vibrator!

It seems that you have got into a bit of a corner with your orgasm.

We all fall into the trap of “allowing ourselves” certain (easier-to-achieve) orgasms, just because we know how to do them.

When you have your legs together you will be automatically (subconsciously) tightening your PC (pelvic floor) muscles. As your whole clitoral organ (internal as well as external – the hood) is “joined”  to the labia (lips), your whole genital region pulses, tightens and relaxes during arousal and orgasm.

Often a key for those women who do not know how to/ have never achieved orgasm is to practice tightening/relaxing the PC muscles, as this mimics the type of “spasm” action of the muscles during orgasm. It also means that because you have toned the muscles, it is easier to control your “grip” (either on a male partner’s equipment or a dildo/ vibe).

Obviously in your case, you do not have any problems achieving orgasm, but the legs-together with a strong clitoral vibe is such a focused clitoral orgasm that you are having problems “replicating” this through penetration.

The G-spot (internal) orgasm is, as you say, a very different kind of feeling to the (often) mind-blowing fizz of the clitoral orgasm, and so you should always be aware that what you can achieve with a strong vibrator on the clitoral hood cannot be achieved, and will never be the same as through penetration.

HOWEVER, this is not to say that an equally mind-blowing orgasm cannot be achieved this way.

First of all we would recommend not allowing yourself your easier-quick-fix-do-it-yourself clitoral orgasm for a while, and forget trying to replicate anything like it through straight penetration by your partner.

Je Joue Ami
Je Joue Ami £45

Doing some pelvic floor exercises could certainly help in terms of you being able to control the squeezability of your lips (and therefore get something closer to how it feels with legs together). For help with PC exercising there are a few different “systems”. The new Ami Vaginal Balls is a PC toning System involving silicone balls of varying sizes that you learn to squeeze against.

If you have toned PC muscles you should be able to achieve (by tightening the muscles) the same kind of feeling around your labia/ clit that you get with legs together. But remember too there are psychological implications – maybe (whether consciously or subconsciously) your preferring legs together has something to do with the pleasure of anticipation (your body gets wildly excited through clitoral stimulation because it is preparing itself for the “entry”). When you get actual internal stimulation, some of that build-up excitement can be lost. Think about whether or not it is a purely physical thing.

Another thing to think about is the position you have sex in. If you use lots of lube (Lush Lube is our own-brand lube and regularly gets 5 star reviews) you could still get your lovely man’s member to slip inside you with your legs together (whether him on top or from behind).

Keeping your legs together can be a good fantasy position.

You can even get involved in ‘being taken advantage of‘ scenarios.  Don’t worry too much about crushing him – a tighter squeeze can be all the more pleasurable for him too.

With oral sex, obviously head-in-clamp is not ideal. But again, with your legs together, he should be able to reach your clitoris just fine with his tongue.

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about saying. Just tell him you fancy ‘trying it like this for a change‘ and let him know about the different sensations you feel legs together and apart. Usually men get pretty excited by women telling them what we like.

LurveHeart Vibrating Cock Ring £9
LurveHeart Vibrating Cock Ring £9

If you are finding that you really want/need more clitoral stimulation (than just fingers etc) to feel fulfilled with your orgasms, then you could try a little vibrating cock ring such as the Lurveheart – at under a tenner is a great one to start with. This could give you the clitoral stimulation you desire whilst taking advantage of everything your man has to offer.

If you’d like to ask anything else, don’t hesitate. It may be worth coming down to the shop and paying a visit, seeing the various products you could use in your hands etc. We are open every day, or are available on the phone (03333 444 005) if you’d like to speak to a us first.

 

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

Q&A

Q&A: Female Ejaculation but No Orgasm?

Dear Sh!

I was on top of my man last night and all of a sudden I was soaking.

I was literally pouring over him, in fact it was him who said I may have had a female ejaculation. It happened twice and I didnt orgasm. I feel embarrassed…

Is it possible to have female ejaculation but not orgasm?

Hi there,

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed (or guilty for that matter)!

Yes – it is possible to ejaculate without orgasm.

Orgasm and ejaculation can be separated in men who study Tantric sex, so it makes sense that we women can ejaculate without orgasm too.

Or perhaps you did orgasm, but you didn’t recognise it as such?

G-Spot orgasms do feel different to external/clitoral ones.

Either way, quite often, when we are really aroused – and particularly if we have a lot of G-spot stimulation (on top of your man is a good way to get this) – we can find ourselves squirting juices.

This can be anything from feeling a bit wetter than usual, to being so wet, so suddenly, that it is hard to accept anything short of a full-blown ejaculation.

If you are  in the throws of passion, then it’s most likely to  be ejaculation

….and not a sudden case of incontinence that many people mistake female ejaculation for – so go with the flow!

Maybe it would be good to nestle a vibrator against your clitoris (it’s easy when you’re on top) and explore the possibilities of a blended orgasm? This is when you experience both a clitoral and a G-Spot orgasm.

Enjoy!

Team Sh!

Q&A

Q&A: Different Orgasms?

Dear Sh!

I have different orgasms with my husband and vibrator!

I normally “orgasm” when having sex with my hubby, I have what I’ve recently found out is known as “female ejaculation“.

Now I have recently purchased my first vibrator – a rabbit – WOW why didn’t I buy one before now (age 31!)?

Well, when using my vibrator I experience the most amazing orgasms, completely different from those that I have with hubby.

These orgasms are extremely powerful, send me to a completely different planet of extreme pleasure, then render me helpless and sleepy – WONDERFUL!

Can you explain why I experience different “orgasms” or perhaps I’ve never had a proper one until the arrival of my rabbit vibe?

 

Hi there,

The answer is simple: different stimulation = different orgasms.

Unless we have exactly the same sex with the same partner and expect the same outcomes, orgasms are as different as we are.

We can have intense orgasms, wet orgasms (and you’re lucky enough to have those), quick orgasms, long, hard orgasms…all different!

It sounds like you experience a clitoral orgasm with your rabbit vibrator and a G-Spot orgasm with your husband.

Sh! jessica side
Sh! Jessica Rabbit Vibrator £40

The Rabbit Vibe does do things that the male member can’t: it vibrates, it rotates, it has beads to stimulate all around the labia and to flex PC muscles against and above all it stimulates your clitoris at the same time.

Isn’t it perfectly feasible that this vibrator does different things to your body that a non-twisting, non-vibrating piece of flesh (however lovely and loving it is) can’t do?

It’s not a matter of “proper” orgasm and “not a proper” orgasm – it’s just a different orgasm.

The other issue is that solo, with a vibrator, you are concentrating purely on your own pleasure.

Sex with a partner is a two way thing. Self love is single-minded.

As women we taught it’s more ‘feminine’ to be ‘selfless’ rather than ‘selfish’ and to put other people’s pleasure before our own.

No bad thing in that, but, coupled with the complexity of our sexual responses, it can mean we don’t orgasm as freely as the fellas (1 in 3 of us can find orgasms tricky or illusive with a partner).

No matter how much you love your hubby and are comfortable being open with him, there may be a sense that you can’t completely let go.

This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your relationship – it’s just human nature. On our own we can be completely self-involved and focused on our own pleasure.

A good way to have the same kind of orgasm with your husband is to play with your rabbit with him – let him see and share in your amazing  orgasms!

Introduce your vibrator to your husband, hand him the controls and let him see what happens to your body…

If you can achieve the same orgasm in front of him, it will show that other orgasms are possible.

We Vibe 3
We Vibe 3 £99

Next step, perhaps,  is to see if you can achieve similarly intense orgasms when you both have sex together.

For this you could use just the bunny’s ears on your clitoris, a small bullet vibrator or even try out a special vibrator designed to use during sex.

We hope you have fun exploring!

Team Sh!

 

 

 

Events at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium

Events at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium

As we head into the new year, we have some amazing events to thrill and inspire you

With Valentines just around the corner, read on for our jam-packed calender of classes and special evenings to be held at our iconic and award-winning London sex shop.

 

But first, something to warm you up this bleak January….
On Saturday 21st January 2012 come and join us  for some saucy stories & great company – we have an amazing erotic book reading to tingle the ears and afterwards there will be time for mingling, meeting the authors and  do a little light sex toy shopping ….

 

 ‘Immoral Views’ with the authors and Kojo Black

Where: Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium  57 Hoxton Square. London N1 6PB

When: 21st January 6.30pm

What: An erotic book reading of aural treats, good company, bubbles and cupcakes, all for £3!


 

With valentines just around the corner, we’re celebrating the sexy season with *lots* of exiting events and classes

Wednesday 1st February |  Blow His Mind Erotic Class | 7.30pm Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium. London

£25 incl £5 Gift Voucher to spend in-store

In this class our erotic educators will enlighten, educate and inspire you with the fine art of fellatio…  Enjoy a glass of bubbly whilst we talk about his anatomy, how to tease, how to get down to business, how to locate and pleasure his hotspots and how to deal with those awkward sticky moments! Team Sh! will ensure you go home with new tricks to try out – good suckers are made, not born!

Our erotic classes will develop your erotic skills and expand your sexual education. Full of practical advice and sex tips, our erotic classes are fun, informal, even playful, whilst still providing valuable insight and information.

This class is women only!

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Tuesday 7th February | Gent’s Nite | Sh!  6-8pm |  

Tuesday night is always “Gents Nite” at Sh! – a special evening when unaccompanied guys are welcome our carvern of erotic treasures. Whilst Sh! is , of course, *full* of fabulous sex toys for women, we also carry couples sex toys and some very cool sex toys for men.

With Valentines Day just around the corner, this is the perfect opportunity for all you fellas to find the right sensual pressie for your loved one, with help from Time Out’sBest Sex Shop for Women

We’ll will be on hand to help you choose the right gift to make your Valentine coo with delight; lingerie, erotic massage or a p’haps couples vibrator like the brand new and best-selling We-Vibe 

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Wednesday 8th February  | Strap On Special | 6pm | Sh! 

Get Your Best Moves on for Valentine’s Day!

Pre-Valentine’s Celebration at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium

Strap On Class at Hoxton, £10

We’ll will help you brush up on your skills in time for Valentine’s Day, thus ensuring you can treat your partner in the hottest way possible!

In this erotic class we’ll enlighten, educate & inspire you with the fine art of Strap On Sex. Knowing how to operate a strap-on sensually and effectively is fabulous addition to any girls’ repertoire – you’ll learn about getting started, choosing the right dildo + strap on harness, how to put it on … and how to get it on!

*This class is for women only

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Tuesday 14th February |  Valentine’s Day | Sh! 

Poetry, Bubbly, Cup Cakes and more!

*Waiting for confirmation of poets reading – pls check back!

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Wednesday 15th February Spanking Erotic Class | Sh! | 6.30pm

£25 incl £5 Gift Voucher to spend in-store

In this class we’ll enlighten, educate and inspire you with the fine art of spanking; the pleasures of pain, how (and where) to spank safely and sensually, the different feel and effect of  different spanking toys and hands, contrasting sensations and aftercare… For both spanker and spankee, this class will ensure you play your part confidently and wit the utmost pleasure!

Full of practical advice and sexpert tips, our erotic classes are fun, informal, even playful, whilst still providing valuable insight and information.

This class is for men & couples.

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Friday 17 February  | TransGender Book Reading: There Is No Word For It | Sh! |  6.30 for 7pm start.

After wowing audiences last year in the launch at The Book Club, hotpencil press come to Sh!  with their first publication: There Is No Word For It. As part of LGBT history month, please join Laura Bridgeman, Serge Nicholson and cast members as they read from this collection of real-life monologues exploring the trans male experience. First performed at the Soho Theatre, the stories have all been gathered from transgender men based in the UK, France and Southeast Asia. All are welcome to this thought-provoking evening of sex toy shopping and prose hopping.

‘This is the Vagina Monologues on steroids, literally.’

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw and My Gender Workbook.

‘It is poignant, bawdy, lyrical and sometimes terrifying.’

Roz Kaveney, Times Literary Supplement.

Read More at Foggy Sapphires blog

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Saturday 18th  February | Introduction to Rope Bondage with Hedwig | Sh! | 4pm

£35

Welcome to a hands-on class that will give you tools to (spell)bind your partner with the use of bondage rope.

In this beginners class we will explore basic ties and how to make them hot and fun for everyone involved.

Rope can be erotic, gentle, rough or what ever you want it to be. In this class you will get introduced to

some simple techniques that will help you take your mind off from knots and patterns, and instead focus on your partner.

Rope does not need to be tricky and you don’t need to be an former scout in order to have fun,

you just need a willingness to get close, real close, to your rope partner.

Hedwig was born in Sweden but have lived in London since 2007. She came out on the on the London

and Swedish scene in 2008. Hedwig is active both in public and private play consisting of a wide range

of BDSM and fetishistic activities, with a primary focus on rope bondage, mainly inspired by the Shibari/Kinbaku tradition, studying under Esinem, Kinoko Hajime, Shadow, Kazami Ranki amongst others.

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Wednesday 22th  February | Orgasmic! Erotic Class |  Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium  6.30pm

£25 incl £5 Gift Voucher to spend in-store

Does the earth move too irregularly for your liking? Not enough fireworks in the bedroom? Do you want to learn more about women’s anatomy, sexual pleasure and orgasmic potential? Let the us inspire you with the fine art of the orgasm and the pleasure potential of the G-Spot.

During this relaxed, informative class you’ll enjoy a glass of complimentary bubbly whilst we’ll take you on a guided tour of pleasurable peaks and orgasmic delights.

Learn all about the clitoris & clit toys , the best clitoral vibrators, clitoral pleasure &  all about the G Spot & G Spot Toys, from how to find your g-spot and have a G-spot orgasm, and the best G Spot vibrators to take you there!

In our guide to orgasm, we’ll also deal with issues such as  if you cant’ orgasm during sex with a partner or if you *never* had an orgasm

This class is for couples

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Friday 24th February |  Reading Slam | Sh!  | 6.30pm

*More details to follow – Pls check back!

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Saturday 25th February | Book Launch: KD Grace Erotic New Novel  | Sh!  | 7pm

Free

*More details to follow – Pls Check Back!

Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm

How to Have Stronger Orgasms

The words below are just some suggestions to help you get to know yourself. There is no normal when it comes to sexual arousal, and perhaps none of this works for you. That does not mean there is something wrong – you are just different. If you specifically want to have better orgasms with a partner, you probably need to learn how to remain more centered and focused in yourself when your partner is present. It is often useful to talk openly with other women about their sexual experiences.

 – Mikaya Heart, author of The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women

Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women
Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women £12.99

Ten Steps to Stronger Orgasms

1. Make a commitment to do whatever is necessary to enhance this aspect of your life. You will need to invest time and possibly money; and other things, such as your friendships and relationships may change along the way.

2. Develop a daily awareness of how energy is flowing, or not, in your body, and establish a habit of practicing kegels several times a day for a minute or so. You need to learn to love the experience of being in a body.

3. Schedule at least 15 minutes every day to be with yourself, increasing this amount of time as you feel the energy building, up to an hour or more. You need to be in a space where you can be comfortable and alone, where no one can hear you and you know that no one will disturb you.

4. During this time, get naked with yourself and explore your body, with your hands and with your awareness. Just play around with yourself. Don’t aim to have an orgasm – you are making friends with your body and listening to what it has to say. Don’t rush. You could take weeks getting to the point of touching your genitals if need be. When you do, try using lube.

5. Once you start being aware of sexual energy, let it build without trying to change it in any way. Take it slowly, and pause regularly, consciously breathing into your belly and genital area. As the energy becomes more intense, notice if there are places in your body that feel particularly uncomfortable. If those places seem very stuck, you may want to get bodywork to help shift them.

Find a Vibrator That Works For You

Sh! Secret Vibrator £35
Sh! Secret Vibrator £35

6. It’s fine to let the energy build over a period of days without releasing it. Your body will take charge when it’s ready to let the energy release in the form of an orgasm, and you need to let that happen. You will almost certainly need to make sounds as it builds and releases. Don’t censor yourself. If you start feeling frustrated with manual stimulation, get a vibrator. Try different kinds until you get one that works for you.

7. It is fairly common for women to have difficult emotions coming up around sex. You need to address them and give them a voice in order to let them move on. You may need help from a counselor.

8. Women need very different things at the point of releasing the energy (which is what we usually call orgasm). It doesn’t matter how you label it, but if you are going for more of a clitoral orgasm (which is what most women want), you will probably need to tense your body to let it get to the point of release. A vaginal orgasm tends to arise more from a state of deep relaxation. Neither is necessarily dependent on a particular type of stimulation.

9. There is no need to stop at the first orgasm; keep going until you feel satisfied. Your body may want to shake and quiver and jerk for a while (hours, perhaps) afterwards. Let it do what it wants without censorship.

10. Some women really don’t like touching the clitoral head, and it may not be necessary to do that in order to have an orgasm. But I would recommend trying it a few times at least. You may or may not want to have something inside your vagina.

Learn More About Orgasms

Learn more about ways women orgasm by signing up for one of our popular Orgasmic Erotic Classes. Spaces are limited so advance booking is essential.

advice erotica

Ways Women Orgasm Book Review

A colleague recently asked if I’d like to take a look at a book that had landed on her desk. She liked the look of it so was going to order copies to sell, but after having skimmed the contents, she wasn’t so sure.

After hearing the name of the book, Ways Women Orgasm, I eagerly agreed. The book arrived and at first look I was very impressed; a simple, glossy cover featuring a pair of high-heeled shoes that wouldn’t look out of place in my own wardrobe. Nice, clean and stylish.

Ways Women Orgasm
Ways Women Orgasm

Reading the foreword, the author, Jane Thomas, states that Ways Women Orgasm is ‘the most comprehensive and explicit source of information about female orgasm available today’. Delighted, I made myself a cup of tea and sat down to learn a thing or two.

By page 4, I could feel my face settling in a frown.‘Although female masturbation is very NORMAL, it is also quite UNUSUAL’ (Caps are author’s own – the written equivalent of SHOUTING at the reader).

Masturbation and Orgasm Help Combat Stress

Now, no member of Team Sh! would agree that female masturbation is unusual. Blimey – we meet thousands of women every year who all agree that a bit of me-time is necessary to combat the stress of modern living. We’d probably say that female masturbation is a very common, and an activity thatcan be enjoyed for free, none the less!

Heading, in bold letters, further on in the book: Female masturbation is relatively uncommon. No Jane, it is not uncommon. Just, enough women haven’t shared their thoughts with you.

Exploring Sexual Arousal

Page 5: ‘relatively few women explore their own sexual arousal either alone or through genitally focused sex play with a partner’

Surely any book that purports to be sex-positive ought to have started that sentence with not enough women?  We spend our days empowering women, telling everyone that exploring one’s own body and sexual arousal is a human right. Get with the programme, Ms Thomas. Let’s try it Sh! – style: not enough women explore their own sexual arousal.  Much better.

And what about this clanger: ‘Men think about sex much more than women but they only use a fantasy to enhance arousal when they are engaged in activities such as masturbation alone, unimaginative sex, or sex with an uninspiring partner. Under more ideal circumstances (eg adventurous sex with a stunning partner), men don’t need to use fantasy’.

The author hints at her own attractiveness and sexy body on more than one occasion, so presumably her partner never has to use sexy fantasies to get off. But what about the rest of us; those who are less than perfect? Should we assume our partners’ explosive orgasms are, in fact, due to him/her closing their eyes and imagining someone with longer legs and perkier breasts? Of course not. Confidence is the sexiest attribute a woman can process: Own your body, whatever it’s shape and size– it’s sexy!

Enjoyable Sexual Imagery

How about this: ‘A lover’s body does not cause female sexual arousal any more than images of naked men (porn) during masturbation’

Come again? Are women are not turned on by naked bodies and sexual imagery?

Of course women enjoy looking at naked lovers and sexy images – and we’re sure that more women would purchase sexy magazines, were the mags of a better quality and with erotic images rather than full-frontal, well-shaved, designer-vaginal nudity. How do we know? Because  women have been telling us for years.

Many women admit to enjoying looking at beautiful, naked women. We look because it’s sexy, and we might even imagine a frolic with another woman, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we are about to come out as lesbians. It just means we are having perfectly normal fantasies. (And talking about lesbians – this book is strictly for the hetero community).

Jane Thomas, by her writing, comes across as out of touch with modern sexuality. Worryingly, the books Thomas lists at the back of her title are at least 8 years out of date, and many came out during the 90’s. Whilst we don’t disrespect the important and ground-breaking work carried out by Shere Hite (1976) or Alfred Kinsey (1953), the last few years have seen many excellent sex guides published.

For her research, the author has spoken to ‘many women’ and people who claim to be ‘experts’ (she didn’t come to see us).

29% of Women Have Experienced Breast Orgasms

‘Amazingly, not all experts today agree that clitoral stimulation is required for female orgasm. The issue remains contentious because relatively few women understand that genital stimulation is required for a person to experience orgasm.’

Not necessarily. Amazingly, 29% of women claim to have experienced breast orgasm. There may be some internal clenching going on simultaneously, but orgasm can definitely happen without direct clitoral stimulation.

‘Women who claim to reach orgasm from intercourse alone are mistaken’ and ‘Vaginal intercourse for a woman feels like affectionate hugging…’

Again, we have much to say about those two comments. First of all, the figures speak for themselves: around 30% women do climax from intercourse; the clitoris is like an iceberg – most of it is hidden inside the vaginal canal – its impossible to differentiate from where the pleasure originates, just where it feels good.

Now, internally of course the mighty G-spot comes into play.  Agreed not everyone is convinced of the G-Spot’s existence (several of whom are male doctors).  Again, from our experience actually talking to women, we believe it does exists, although we do concede that maybe not all women derive the same sensations from it.

Vaginal intercourse feels like affectionate hugging? Or, a hot and sweaty exercise that gets your blood pumping and brings colour to your cheeks.

Expert Advice on Orgasms

Ms Thomas is pretty scathing of “expert advice”:

‘Just to give a flavour, here are a few tips from the experts: Don’t worry because orgasm is not that important; Relax a bit more and stop concentrating on orgasm; Try incorporating a fair amount of leg, abdominal, and buttock tension; Rhythmically squeeze your pelvic floor muscles; Breathe deeply or pant to get oxygen to those tensing muscles; Arch your back or try a different position to maximise clitoral stimulation; Stimulate the lubricated clitoris for long enough to guarantee an orgasm; and Escape into fantasy to block out any negative thoughts or distractions!

I am not saying that these approaches do not work. Presumably they work for the people who suggest them. I am just saying that they do not work for me. Anyway isn’t female orgasm during sex supposed to happen ‘spontaneously’ as it does for men? ‘

Yes – she really did say all of the above.

Spontaneous Orgasms

For some women orgasm does happen spontaneously – it’s not entirely unheard of. However, muscular tension, sexual tension, deep breathing, good positioning, hot fantasies and a good dollop of lube all do help.

Prepare for sex by having a towel and waterproof sheet to protect the bed. This means that you don’t have to worry about marking the sheets and you can also use baby oil or other lubricant freely’

Straight up: don’t use baby oil as lubrication. The market is awash with good, body-friendly lubes that’ll ensure vaginal health, give no thrushy-side effects and won’t melt your condoms. Come see the us and we’ll help you find one that suits your individual needs.

‘Most women who learn how to orgasm during sex do so only after many years with the same man’

We firmly believe ‘most women’ learn how to orgasm during me-time. What we are saying is, the way a woman learns to come isn’t necessarily important – just go with the flow, wherever feels good.

“The vaginal opening is one of absolute difference between the sexes. However, unless you want a baby there is no need to be overly distracted by the vagina.The vagina is part of the birth canal and so it has very few nerve endings. A woman is unlikely to feel a man’s penis inside her even if he is built like a horse”

Is Ms Thomas is basing her sweeping statements purely on her own experience? We talk to 10,000’s of women every year who can definitely feel swerves or bumps along the shafts of their vibrators; some women like bumpy shafts, some don’t. Ms Thomas, are you telling these women that they are mistaken – that actually they can’t feel the difference between a smooth shaft and a ridged one?

Low Libido

women are not motivated to seek other more explicit forms of genital stimulation during sex because (1) they do not approach sex already aroused, and (2) female arousal does not arise from an appreciation of a lovers’ body’

Whilst it’s true some women do suffer from low libido (and they should be given proper advice, help and encouragement, not judgmental twaddle) it’s also true that there are also women who get hugely turned on when sex (in their preferred shape and form) is on offer, and that their arousal may indeed come from seeing their lovers undressed. Nakedness is sexy!

Women, Sex & Orgasms

Team Sh! have unanimously decided that we won’t be selling Ways Women Orgasm– but if Jane Thomas would like to come in and discuss 21th century sex in a frank and honest manner, we are here.

Deborah Sundahl at Sh!

The Ground-breaking Guide to Female Ejaculation
Feamle Eaculation and the G-spot

WHAT: Deborah Sundahl, author of the ground-breaking Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, lectures on all things G-spot related!

WHERE: Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, Hoxton.

WHEN: 7pm, 19th of May

HOW MUCH: £30 for one ticket, £50 for two tickets

Learn about female ejaculation’s ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have a G-spot orgasm, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain™ flowing! Open to both men and women, Deborah’s Power Point lecture with pictures, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

The G-spot is the female prostate. All women have one, as do all men. Therefore, all women have the ability to ejaculate! Attend this class, and learn how to Let Go and Let it Flow!

Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

There are two physical changes that must happen before you have an orgasm:

Firstly the blood must start pooling in your breasts and genitals – this will make your bits engorged and you’ll start getting wet.

The second is neuromuscular tension, or sexual tension. Energy builds up in nerve-endings and muscles of the entire body. Many women find it difficult to ‘let go’ if there is a lot of strong sexual tension in their bodies, hence the horny-but-no-orgasm experience.

Many women ask us what an orgasm feels like.

This is very difficult to explain; all orgasms are organically the same, but not all women experience them the same. They can be short and sharp or strong and long and anywhere in between…

About 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm and  many have their very first orgasm with the help of a clitoral vibrator.

Women tend to need consistent stimulation to build up to an orgasm, whereas men can often come from go-stop-go style stimulation.

That’s why vibes are good – with the best will in the world, fingers and tongues get tired out but with a vibrator the stimulation keeps on going for as long as you need it to.

Try A Clit Vibe

Aphrodisia Dual Vibe £26
Aphrodisia Dual Vibe £26

About 75-80% of women need continuous clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm and this is why clit vibes are so popular. Made of smooth silicone, the Aphrodisia Dual Vibe is very easy to use, making it ideal for anyone new to sex toys.

A control with four speeds lets you be in charge of intensity, offering the possibility of ramping it up as you get more aroused.  The shape of this vibe means it can be rested externally, long-ways, and used to stimulate the whole outer labia. Try stimulating the clit slightly off to one side—think of the clit as a clock-face and explore 11am or 1pm.

Use a water-based lubricant with for extra deliciously slippery sensations and to enhance sensitivity to your clitoral area.