To mark 2019’s Transgender Day of Visibility we are celebrating all trans and non-binary folks by shining a light on non-gendered sexual pleasure. In other words, if you don’t feel particularly connected to your genitals and want to explore ways of getting around this when experiencing sexual pleasure then this blog is for you.
A prime example was first introduced to us back in 2015. This was the year that Buck Angel created a game changer in the sex toy industry with his Buck Off stroker, the world’s first toy for trans men. The slick black toy is a breath of fresh air in an ocean of pink bullets. It encourages users to feel more comfortable in their own skin when engaging in sexual activity.
This brilliant toy is only the tip of the iceberg. Read on to find out more tips and tricks to make the most out of your unique sexuality.
Often, the biggest hindrance of experiencing sexual pleasure is negative self-image. When the words “just relax” aggravate, there are measures you can take to have fun in actually distracting the mind. Erotica is a brilliant example of this. Allow yourself to escape into someone else’s story and immerse yourself in your fantasy scenario. Instead of focusing on yourself or seemingly perfect bodies in porn, why not close your eyes and truly let your imagination wander. If you don’t yet have a favourite author then perhaps first think about what roles you like to explore sexually and look at books that develop this perspective or fantasy.
Whether it’s spanking, threesomes, specific locations, couples’s play, classic or fetish literature you’re after – there is something for everyone. Perhaps, this will be all you need to take you away on your favourite sex dream. Otherwise, use it as a starting point to develop a better relationship with yourself as you enjoy your unique sexuality for what it is at whatever stage.
Let’s Get Nippy
Nipple play is one of the raunchiest parts of sex if you ask us. Whether it’s biting, pinching, blowing or sucking, fun with your nipples promises playfulness like no other. Dripping hot wax around areolae when their owner is blindfolded is delightfully naughty when the candle is specifically designed to burn no higher than at a body-safe temperature.
Grab a pinwheel or a feather and lightly trace it down the centre of their chest to below their belly button. Turn off just before the pubic bone to go around the hip and back up the waistline to the armpit (armpit play is SO sexy and if you don’t believe us then you haven’t tried it). Make your way to the areolae, licking it and blowing on the nipple. Do the same to the other side and your partner will be squirming in delight. Remember, when you shut off a sense, like sight with a blindfold, your other senses are at a heightened state of arousal.
If your partner dreams off nip nipping, ramp it up by twisting the nipple and pinching for different lengths of time. After cutting off the blood in this area, feeling it rushing back upon release of a pinch can be quite a saucy sensation. As long as you already know that your partner enjoys them, why not pick up a pair of nipple clamps? You can adjust the strength of the squeeze and continue with breath play. If there is extra tissue surrounding the nipples, i.e. breasts, and their owner enjoys their stimulation then don’t neglect them. A massage goes a long way – just make sure you start soft and listen to your partner’s cues as to their enjoyment of each action.
You don’t necessarily need another person (or more) to enjoy nipple play. We like to encourage D-I-Y tactics whenever possible and this is most definitely possible. If you fancy giving it a go then get into your favourite sexy setting. Perhaps it involves sprawling across your freshly made bed or maybe it’s a candle-lit bath for one. Calm your mind by taking slow, deep breaths and imagine how you’d like your nipples played with. Start to tickle and caress your skin in your favourite erogenous spots – i.e. the places that turn you on. Start to massage the area around the areolae and take it slow to work your way to the nipple. You can pinch, stroke and twist as much as your heart’s desire. These nipple suction toys are a great idea for solo play or if you want to go hands free. Add a small splodge of lube before attaching onto nipples and then squeeze them to experiment with the sucking feeling.
Vibrating massagers are perfect for this kind of play. Those that are flatter (like a pebble) tend to be more versatile in their uses as you can use the shape experiment with what sensation you like best. For instance, using the tip to focalise specific points of pleasure can be alternated with using the flatter edge to press vibrations onto skin.
Tenga eggs may be designed for penis owners but these toys are actually so versatile that genitalia-type proves irrelevant. Possibly the most obvious way to use a tenga egg is to squirt a healthy dollop of lube inside the egg, then slip it over the penis head with the ribbed side facing in and begin to stretch the egg up and down the penis as you masturbate.
Another option for those who may own a penis but don’t feel particularly connected to it could turn the egg inside out and slip it over their hand. Add lube to the outer side and rub the exposed ridges of the eggs around their genitals toward the prostate. This works in the same way for those who have labia and vulvae as they can stroke these regions with the egg turned inside out over a doxy wand for added vibrations.
If you prefer penetrative vaginal play, stretch the egg inside out over a dildo. You can then enjoy an added texture to your favourite toy, such as one of our hand-made dildos, which come in many shapes and sizes. All block coloured dildos (as opposed to the marble effect we also create) are available with a Sh! bullet to insert inside. Please be aware that Tenga eggs when used in this way cannot and must not be used during any type of penetrative anal play…
…unless you fancy a trip to A&E as you’ve a missing egg inside of you, in which case we take zero liability. Soz.
Harnesses & Strap Ons
Stepping into a harness has to be one of the most dominating, empowering experiences we can think of when in a sexual context. There’s nothing like a touch of cold leather (or rubber) to fiercen your mood. Our soft leather harnesses come complete with three hoops of various sizes to accommodate the size of your favourite dildo. Meanwhile, our hard leather and rubber come with large hoops. Whether you want buckles, corset-style or heavy duty, our harnesses are adjustable to your unique fit. If you’re a newbie to the harness/strap-on world then why not come to one of our fun workshops dedicated to this type of play? We break down all the usual hang ups and concerns involved, with our first point being how to actually introduce it into the bedroom and our second covering how to put one on without falling over.
Last Butt Not Least
Due to the positioning of the G-spot and the prostate gland, anal play can be terrifically pleasurable, regardless of whichever you own. We recently wrote a piece on a beginner’s guide to anal play, demystifying all the in’s and out’s of bum fun if you find yourself a tad curious to try it out. The crux of the matter is to take it slowly with an extra generous serving of your favourite lube. If experimenting with a partner or two, ensure that everyone, especially the one on the receiving end, is happy and comfortable with what is happening. Your back door gate holds the key to an Aladdin-sized stash of sexual pleasure – if you fancy exploring it.