Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.

Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.


I have been happily married for 37 years but am currently undergoing couples sexual counselling. I am 58 yrs old, have only had one sexual partner and have never used any sex toys or vibrators. I have not had sex for 8-9 yrs and my counsellor has suggested that using a vibrator might be helpful as we try to reignite our physical relationship. I have looked on your site but do not know where to start. Advice would be really appreciated.



[All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity]

Hi Penny

Many thanks for your email!

A vibrator is a great way to help reignite sex drives that have taken a dive. And we agree – it can be really difficult to choose; there are so many different types…

Let’s see if we can break it down for you.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

Clitoral Vibrators

These vibes are usually small, but can still be very powerful. Their main use is to stimulate on and around the clitoris. They can be stroked, wiggled or just rested in place – try all of those moves to see what you like best.

The egg-shaped vibrator shown in the picture is called the Sh! Easy Egg, and is very popular with our customers. The vibe is covered in a sleeve with nodules on it, and these soft nodules offer extra stimulation. For women who need or like a harder vibration, the sleeve can easily be removed as and when.


G-spot Vibrators

These vibrators are designed for internal use (but they can also be used on the clitoris), and the built-in G-spot seeking curves will help find and stimulate the sensitive area just inside the vagina. It takes a while to coax the shy G-spot out, but it is definitely worth investing some time in exploring this area – you may find it creates fireworks!

For this, you could also try using a G-spot enhancing gel. The gel works by drawing blood to the G-spot, making it firmer, easier to find and much more sensitive to stimulation.


Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25
Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25

Rabbit Vibrators

Rabbit vibrators have got a lot going on: a shaft for internal pleasure and a clitoral simulator for external play at the same time. They look a little tricky to use, but actually, rabbit vibes take care of all your pleasure zones at once – all you need to do is lay back and relax!

Rabbit vibes are the most popular vibrators of all times – it’s a favourite sex toy in millions of bedrooms across the globe. Many, many, women say they’ve had their very first orgasm with the help of the cleverly-designed rabbit ears.



Discreet Vibrator £12 - Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration
Discreet Vibrator £12 – Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration

Choosing the Right Vibrator

Which ever style of vibrator you choose, we’d recommend a opting for a smaller-sized vibe for your first sex toy. It’s been some time since you last had penetrative sex, and it’s not impossible that the sensations will feel “odd” to start off with. Anything too girthy could feel uncomfortable and put you off further exploration. It’s better to go small, as you can always add lengthier or girthier toys when you feel more confident.

Something like our Sh! Discreet could be just the thing for you. This vibe is a tad bigger than an average-sized finger, and it can be used both on the clitoris and internally. It has only one speed, but it’s a really good one… This little marvel can be rested length-ways along the labia, or stroked around the clitoris and also inserted if and when you feel ready.


Add Lubrication

Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality - we highly recommend it!
Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality – we highly recommend it!

Adding lube is essential for any kind of  sex play.  At 58, your vaginal membranes will feel drier and tighter – this is normal and natural. To avoid chafing or tearing of sensitive areas, adding a generous drizzle of our Pure Plus lube will be very helpful. Pure Plus is thicker and adds a lovely padded layer on delicate membranes. It’s paraben-free, and it has no taste or scent – just very clean, lush lubricant for more comfortable sex.

(Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity)

If you have any other questions please contact us at advice@sh-womenstore, include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’ if you’d like your advice from our new sex and relationship expert.

Good luck and remember to have fun!

Love, Team Sh! xx