People of Sh!: the most wonderful time of the year is now upon us. Just in case you haven’t already heard us mention it; May is the month of masturbation.
In a period of #selfcare, now is the time to brandish those hashtags and jump fearlessly onboard. Many of you are already out there, in the field, rubbing one out time and time again in the name of sexual liberation.
But, what if you just don’t fancy getting down and dirty with your pleasure powerhouse? Is the only lubricant you’ve come close to recently the one that slid masturbation slowly down your priority list? What if you and your partner just aren’t in sync with each other sexually – but you feel guilty in pleasuring yourself without them?
Allowing yourself to explore your sexuality either alone or with a partner requires a positive mindset. It’s not a selfish or indulgent act: it’s a bare minimum that can be a really empowering, rewarding action. However, if you’re not “feeling” sex much at the minute and you’re not sure why, then evaluating your mood and stress levels is always a good starting point. Take the other person out of the equation and think about what’s going on with you. Is something causing you stress? Perhaps you can try little strategies here and there to fix at least the smallest of your concerns.
Masturbation should never be a chore – it’s a bloody delight. The language you use determines how you think and vice versa. If you find yourself speaking about your body or sex negatively then perhaps you can try and consciously implement more positive language when talking about such topics. Saying this, there is no need to force anything if it really doesn’t feel natural.
Be kind to yourself by allowing space and time for your attitudes or context to change.
Otherwise, buy yourself a ticket to that pilates class you’ve been putting off. Lather up in your favourite moisturiser. Get those kids to their friend Jenny’s for dinner and chill out in the bath with a nice glass of whatever you fancy. If you’re feeling REALLY outlandish, read up on your favourite fantasies via a sweet slice of erotica. Soon enough you’ll find yourself raring to go, so dust off that trusty vibe of yours and get back on your rocking horse.
On the other hand, you may be rolling an eye or two at this masturbation month malarkey thinking that there’s no reason to do that when you have a partner already. Relying on that one person for all sexual satisfaction is a lot of pressure, no? What would you do if they went on holiday?
Not only is masturbating a practical solution for staying in tune with your body and satisfying your own needs, but it can be really sexy to do with a partner and allow them the role of voyeur.
Face each other head-on as you individually touch yourselves together or in turn. You could even tie them up so that they are just out of reach of you (guaranteed they will be squirming in delight). Not only will this make you feel super sexy and confident but they are also essentially having a lesson in the sure fire way to get you off– which brings us to our next point.
Does your partner need a map around your hot spots but you’re not really sure which directions to give them? Masturbation is the perfect tour guide, enabling you to pass on your pearls of wisdom. Exploring your own body is a never-ending adventure in our eyes and letting someone else in on this journey is even more exciting.
This tactic is especially great if your partner needs a little guidance in the way of your sexual pleasure and words are not your forté. If this is you and, to quote Ronan Keating, “you say it best, when you say nothing at all”; give your partner a V.I.P view and show them how you like it.
If you would like to make them feel like they have a bit more power than this, why not invest in a remote controlled vibe? This way, everyone’s involved. We-Vibe is a luxury brand that specialise in couples toys. They are so invested in ensuring that no one is feeling left out of masturbation by launching their latest toys that include vibes controlled by the smartphone apps on Android and iOS systems. They run in the background of your phone whilst you’re living your best life on Facetime. It’s music to our ears.