Winter may finally be coming but that doesn’t mean you can’t be too

We’re already in November and seeing the days get colder and darker, many of us are experiencing lower intakes of vitamin D. This lack of sunlight causes lower levels of serotonin in our brain and increases our production of melatonin – meaning we are more depressed and more tired. Is it any wonder that our libido can do a disappearing trick around this time of the year?

Stop. Right. There.

What is the one thing we learned in P.E. or from the daily preaches by annoyingly smiley, toned and shiny Instagram influencers? Exercise releases endorphins and these make us happy. This can mean a game of netball in a blizzard or a hazardous jog on an icy morning… or, you can try having an orgasm. Whether through masturbation or sex with a partner (multiple if you’re lucky), this is an exercise designed to get you feeling the freshest. Not only will you have your trusty endorphins but you can also enjoy that calm, fuzzy and above all, warm, feeling of oxytocin. In other words, Storm Brian may have just hit us but that isn’t half as hard as your orgasm is about to if you follow any of these tips.

Get Cosy

It goes without saying but if you’re going to take your pants off you need to be warm and what’s more inviting than a hot bath? Maybe you’re exhausted after work but this is a great way to practise self-love. Light some candles, grab an erotic novel and go heavy on the Badedas bubble bath (not too heavy if you’re prone to thrush). Luckily for you, we offer a range of waterproof goodies that vibrate, thrust and tickle. Simply keep one tactically within an arms-length reach away and soon enough your clit will be dancing and prancing more than a fictional, festive reindeer. If you have a partner around then why not invite them in? They could watch you in action or take control of your toy. You could even offer them a hot and heavy massage afterward.

Build Up A Sweat

If you’re diving straight into a bed of cold sheets then practice shock tactics. Have a quick slip out of any extra layers and warm each other up whilst your body temperatures fall and rise together. This type of sensory play using heat stimulates blood flow and adrenaline and ultimately, arousal. Soon enough, you will be shivering in all the right ways.

classic_erotica_body_boudoir_pheromoan_massage_candle_forbidden_fruit (1)If you want to take this one step further, then be my guest. Blindfold a consensual partner, building their anticipation, and if they like playing submissive then tie them to the bed. Light a body safe candle and drip onto their skin (ensure you use a specialised sensual candle rather than a shop-bought, non-labeled as the latter can be 50f higher and can cause damage or burns to the skin). The closer your candle is to their body – the hotter the wax will be. Trickle cautiously and tease the wax around their erogenous zones. The sweep of an armpit is a great (and potentially unexpected) one, so you could start here and move down their torso, from their nipples to their pubic bone.

Introduce a body-warming toy

Another ingenious invention comes in the shape of a sex toy that adapts to your body temperature. Whether riding solo or in a team, using a glass or metal dildo can give your southerly regions a good warming up – particularly if you leave your toy in a bowl of not-too-hot water beforehand. Again, directly applying heat to one area of the body like this stimulates blood flow in the area. Plus, glass and metal toys are really pretty. Whether you want one curved, ribbed, straight, or even one with a flower inside it, we have you covered. Just make sure you lube up beforehand to get your G-spot nice and ready for stimulation.

Now, hopefully, you can get your sex drive in check because it’s going to be a long, cold winter without it.




Ebony and Ivory Hands

Guest Post: Ebony & Ivory

Who is ‘Ebony and Ivory’? 

We’re are a couple that work together as erotic massage therapists specialising in 4-handed massage for women, couple massage sessions and teaching people how to give a sensual massage. 
Jessica – (Ivory) is a highly qualified and experienced erotic bodyworker and somatic sexual educator. She has vast experience with people of all genders and orientations, her passion is to guide people to experience their full pleasure potential.
D (Ebony) is of African/American descent and hugely experienced in ancient East African sex practices including the art of female ejaculation (aKachabali)


What type of people book?

People who aren’t in a relationship and who want to receive sensual touch, relax and learn about their own pleasure, particularly people who are in-between relationships or are tired of the ‘dating games’ and still want intimate touch.
Also couples who want to learn about giving each other pleasure in a discrete, non-judgemental, sensual and fun environment.
Many of our clients lead busy, stressful lives – unfortunately, this is quite a regular occurrence these days. High stress levels, not enough sleep or being constantly distracted can lead to many people experiencing low libido and not putting self-care as a priority – this includes looking after your sexual self and making time for pleasure.


Why do people book?

Many women book a 4-hand sensual massage with us as they feel safe; we are a genuine couple, experienced and qualified.
For women who don’t have a partner, they come to relax and receive deeply sensual touch which connects them to their bodies especially during times when they may not be sexually active or have many opportunities for loving touch. 
We work with a lot of women who struggle to orgasm or are keen to learn to ejaculate after they learn about the benefits, and are curious to explore their bodies more without the dynamics of a partner relationship and its expectations. Many women first come to see us individually for a few sessions then bring their partners to either have a massage at the same time or have a tuition session where we teach them how to give each other a sensual massage. 

Where can people find you? How can I book?

Either book through the Ebony & Ivory website or via phone +44 7708 835756.
We’re offering all Sh! customers a special festive discount – 20% off any bookings made before 31st Jan 2018. 


We do in calls in a private studio apartment in East London, Londonfields or out calls as arranged. We also take bookings for private parties or festivals where people want to offer their guests sensual massage sessions.
Pleasure Island Parties are our regular sensual events that we host every couple of months in London and around the world, visit for more info. 
Q&A Your Sex-Questions Answered

Q&A: Best vibrator to buy for my wife?

Dear Sh!

I’d be very grateful for some advice about the best vibrator to buy for my wife. I have been looking at your website, and many others, and I’m afraid I am bewildered by the variety of bits and pieces on offer. So, any guidance would be most gratefully received.

Basically, my wife has trouble relaxing and achieving orgasm regularly with me. She can, and does, achieve them, but quite rarely, and only when she is very relaxed and not thinking about the kids, the house etc. Now, as a rule, she does not masturbate, and has told me that she has never brought herself to orgasm on her own. But I know that she can get off when stimulated properly, and so I am keen to help her achieve it as often as possible. She is keen for that too, and is interested in trying anything that will help!

I did buy her a Rabbit Vibe 4 or 5 years ago, but she never got on with it (or ‘off’ with it!) and it has since gone by the wayside. When she does get off with me it is generally by grinding herself down on my pubic bone when I am inside her, so stimulating her clitoris seems to work (although if I rub her in that area it seems to have little effect).

Some of the vibrators I have read about are not like a penis at all  and there was also one called ‘Je Joue’. I think one of these ‘non penis’ type ones might suit her best.



Hi There,

There are a few things we can recommend and you’ve come to the right place for a ‘non penis’ type toy as we don’t do them! 😉

Je Joue Mini Vibrator £78
Je Joue Mini Vibrator £78

There is indeed a very good toy called Mimi  from Je Joue

Its a pebble-shaped so it sits discreetly and comfortably in hand, making a great toy to add thrills to lovemaking.  Seamless, soft silicone ( so you wife can grind as hard as  she likes without any possible ‘ouch’ moments) and 10 different settings so there’s lots of different vibe intensities and patterns for you to explore … and for her to discover!

We’d also recommend the Rock Chick mini  vibrator, which allows a

Rock Chick Mini £32
Rock Chick Mini £32

style of stimulation very similar to the one you describe – it’s got an internal stimulator for G-spot play. Soft and flexible it allows the user to press down against the vibrating clit stimulator with as much pressure as she enjoys.

Both these  vibrators would be good for your wife to explore what does, and doesn’t, work for her during solo sex.

Masturbation is certainly something we would urge her to make time for. It’s really common for women to find it tricky to switch their minds off (and their bodies on) especially when they are used to spending so much of their time focused on children. If you do buy her a vibrator, could we also suggest you take the kids out for the day so she can have a leisurely, interruption-free introduction to her new toy?

From what you describe, it sounds like your wife probably enjoys/needs quite intense clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm and there’s nothing unusual in this; some women need a delicate touch; others need it super-strong. The one commonality is that all women need the stimulation to be sustained long enough for them to orgasm (whether that’s a minute or an hour).

Women who take a long time to orgasm often worry that they are taking too long, which then makes their orgasm even more illusive. It’s a horrible vicious circle that is only broken once a woman knows and has confidence in how her body responds. Lots more practice, both alone and with you, should help her have more guaranteed orgasms.

Taking of sex with you, there are lots of toys that can be used during partner-sex to help women have more orgasms. Over 80% of women find it tricky or even impossible to get off during penetrative sex alone, so you are by no means alone! A simple vibe could provide your wife with the extra “umph” she requires.

Small clitoral vibes have the advantage that they can be combined with intercourse and give both partners a thrill.

Dual Bullet Vibrator £24
Dual Bullet Vibrator £24

 We’d suggest Dual Bullets vibe which has two bullets that offer multiple speeds and stimulation-styles, and can be enjoyed unobtrusively during intercourse.

We-Vibe Classic (£106)
We-Vibe Classic (£106)

The We Vibe  also is a great couples toy that’s designed to offer combined G-Spot and clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex with a partner.

You also mention that your wife has trouble relaxing – we can also suggest some massage oil for a sensual build up to sex? Massage is great for re-connecting with your partner and giving you both time to relax and enjoy yourselves.

Hope all this helps – please do give us a shout with any more questions.

Best wishes

Team Sh!