There are different types of orgasms and bodies have the fantastic ability to experience different ones during a sexual lifetime. There are the great ones; you might know the kind – you can’t stay still, you’re wriggling and squirming, your legs are shaking until finally, an explosion erupts between your thighs and you’re left quivering and panting… We like those ones!
There are long & strong ones, there are short & sharp ones, cresting ones, wet ones, fast ones, multiple ones and also, the kind we like the least: the ones that are so weak you wonder why you even bothered. The last kind is pitiful little vaginal sneezes that leave you frustrated and disappointed rather than sleepy and satisfied. Blips on the orgasmic radar.
Luckily, there are a number of things that can be done in order to amp up the intensity and pleasure of orgasms, and we’ve got five of our top tips listed below.
Turn up the heat
Did you know that heat helps to increase the blood flow to the vulva, which in turn is great for stronger orgasms?
Relaxing in a hot, steamy bath before play is an excellent way of getting warmed up and ready for fun. A gentle stroke and feel of your labia lips whilst bathing will help kickstart blood flow to the area. You’ll know it’s working when warmth starts building from the inside, the labia lips darkens and feels “puffier”.
Lube sometimes gets a bad rap; there are actually folks out there who still believe that lube is something “for old women”.
Lube can certainly be helpful if your muffkin is feeling dehydrated or uncomfortable for some reason, but actually, lube is very sexy and we recommend having a bottle handy.
Certain lubes, like ID Pleasure, can help increase the frequency and power of female orgasms as it contains a naturally occurring amino acid which encourages blood flow to the area, heightening sensations. ID Pleasure combines natural sensation-enhancing ingredients like Ginko Biloba, Red Clover, and Menthol to ensure blood flow to genitals is at peak performance. For penises, this means firmer erections and for vaginas, it means tingly sensations.
Add a vibrator into the mix
For about 75% of those with clitorises, the clit plays a major part in orgasmic pleasure.
As much fun as fingers, tongues, and toes can be, it’s not uncommon for the person focused on pleasuring said clit to run out of steam or develop jaw ache at a crucial moment.
For the majority, the key to strong, long-lasting orgasms is sustained clitoral stimulation. Pair this with the vibrations of a sex toy and you’re in for a thrilling ride. We like the Rocks Off Twister Vibrator, which comes with 7 different vibration settings, is fully waterproof and suits all bodies.
For a truly toe-curling time, start on the lowest setting and work your way up. As the strength of the vibrations builds, so will your pleasure… Which neatly brings us on to the next tip:
‘Edging’ is a fancy word for ‘holding back your orgasm for as long as you can’ and you should add it to your sex dictionary sharpish.
This is a tried & tested method that may take a while to perfect but once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll be able to ‘edge’ your way to orgasm over and over until you have no other option but to let the orgasm rock your body before leaving you spent and grinning. Good times!
As you get to know your body and how it reacts to the right kind of stimulation, you’ll know when an orgasm is near. At this point, stop the rubbing/patting/touching that feels so good and focus on another body part for a while. (We know, frustrating, right?!)
Once you feel in control after having reversed back down the hump of pleasure, start edging yourself closer to the top again. And stop just before climax again.
Carry this on for as long as you can stand it and when you eventually let go, you’ll be able to enjoy what’ll seem like a neverending, thunderous orgasm!
If you’re really keen to enhance your sex life and make your orgasms as strong as can be, you need to focus on finding out what it is that really gets you off. Before you get down to it with a partner, try experimenting with different techniques on yourself with your fingers or toys.
Having some uninterrupted time will help you relax into your body and allow it to enjoy your touches. If you’re into erotic stories or films, you might like to get your brain aroused by reading or watching something – after all, our brains are our biggest sex organs. If you want to try porn without having to trawl through the many free-but-oh-so-unsexy clips on the web, we recommend giving Erika Lust a go. Lust is an award-winning, ethical, adult film-maker and you can check out her website here.
Knowing your own body and working out your pleasure points is a sure fire way of experiencing more pleasurable orgasms.
When it comes to having great sex, lube just doesn’t get the recognition that it deserves. Old-fashioned thinking will have us believe that as long as a woman is properly turned on, she should produce enough love juices to coat every manhood in the neighbourhood.
Not so, friendlies!
There are many reasons why a vagina might be feeling dry or uncomfortable, and most of them have nothing to do with arousal. Perhaps it’s down to dehydration, tiredness, hormones or medication. Or, maybe she’d been enjoying a particularly long sesh and the well has finally run dry, so to speak… It is possible to feel incredible turned on and ready, but the vag may still be bone dry. It’s just one of those things.
Lube can make such a huge different to your pleasure, and it’s not just for penetrative pleasures (another myth).
If you haven’t yet discovered the benefits of using lube during play, read on for some of our recommendations about how it can be easily incorporated into sexy activities.
Lube is a great addition to masturbation
Have you ever considered adding some slick lube to your menage a moi sessions? Dry skin is common during the winter so if you are using your hands, a good lube will reduce the friction and make it a much more pleasurable experience. Lube makes your juice parts slip-slidey and will often enhances sensations.
And if you want to amp up the heat even more, check out our range of vibrators.
Use a drop of lube inside condoms
If you’re tired of hearing dudes complain about how condoms ruin sex, try squeezing a couple of drops of condom-safe lube inside the rubber before you slip it over his peen. The added moisture helps him feel more if he’s missing the wetness of your lush love-box. Great for ensuring that sex is both pleasurable and safe at the same time!
Don’t just reserve it for oral sex though, why not use some lube on your nipples during sex to increase sensitivity?
Use lube for sensual massages
There is nothing sexier than the physical touch and a hybrid lube (water-based lube with a dash of silicone to make it smoother and more long-lasting) can be used all over the body for long, slow massages
Stat at the top and work you way down and around their body. For an explosive finale, add a generous amount of lube to your juicy parts and rub, bump & grind together without any kind of penetration – this is effective for creating both intimacy and intense orgasms.
Always use lube for anal play
This is probably the most obvious uses for lube and if you are interested in trying anal sex for the first time, we recommend getting yourself a handy pump-bottle because you’ll need a fair bit of the slippy stuff. Pure Plus anal lube is extra thick and long-lasting, ensuring the delicate membranes of the tush are protected during all finger, toy & penis-play.
‘Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength’ Betty Friedan
Thinking of parents having sex can feel disturbing, and something most of us avoid like the plague. We know we should be adult enough about these things, but when your mum’s new boyfriend asks – across the dining table, no less – if you sell Viagra, you’ll be excused for having suddenly gone off your Sunday dinner. Some things are just too close for comfort.
Having had some time (years) to get over said incident, and having spent even more time (years) thinking about it, we have come to a conclusion: sex is important to all of us, regardless of age. Even if it does involve your mum.
Finding yourself single in your 50’s or 60’s after decades as a firm twosome can be disorienting and scary.
Sex may or may not be the first thing a newly-single woman thinks about, but eventually the mind is likely to go there: What if? When? How? Could I even..?
As confidence grows, you might start thinking about dating again, and all of a sudden you realise that the options on what in the past may have been a very limited menu, are now all yours to pick & choose from – a virtual buffet of pleasure! Embracing your new-found status as a sassy singleton goes from being terrifying to right down exhilarating.
Blue rinses used to be a sign of having reached a certain age, of being ‘past it’, but these days it shows you’ve still got it: women of all ages are getting blue, pink or purple highlights, with many more choosing to rock their natural silver strands – which looks awesome, by the way!
Getting a cut & colour (upstairs & downstairs), taking up a new hobby and joining one of the many dating apps for the over 50’s are all things that can help a single woman feel more in charge of her budding love life. Because it is budding, a late awakening of sorts – it is new, fresh and exciting: doing all the things you’ve read about and finally have the confidence to not only ask for, but also try out.
We’ve had the pleasure of speaking to many of these feisty women during their visits to our shop in Hoxton, and we’re always thrilled. These women are having fun, and they are on the look-out for lovers or life partners who are equally keen on exploring sexual possibilities. They have spent far too long going without or making-do with someone else’s pleasure; they are ready to rumble around in the sheets with gusto.
We know one such lovely couple. They are both retired, and have plenty of time for their two hobbies: travelling and sex. They stop by from time to time, looking for new vibrating gizmos or sexy outfits to keep the fires burning. The husband buzzes around her like a hormonal teenager, and he is more than happy to buy anything and everything that piques her interest – he has a vested interest, after all. It is clear that sex is important to them and it is heart-warming to see how happy and in love they are.
Sex, in your mature years, is not only excellent for getting the blood pumping and putting a youthful spring in your step, but it has a number of other benefits too:
Sex reduces stress
Enhances your mood
Strengthens the immune system
Revs up creative energy
Makes skin glow
There is one thing in particular the silver generation like to ask us about: orgasms.
They may have spent the better part of 2-3 decades tending to family, cooking, cleaning and perhaps even performing ‘wifely duties’ after dark with little to no expectation for pleasure of their own.
Often they feel they have a lot of catching up to do…
The first stop should always be the lube shelf. For most women, age & menopause causes the vaginal membranes to become thinner and drier which often makes for uncomfortable play. You may have heard that ‘women don’t need lube, they should be wet enough‘ but that’s an outdated belief that needs to be unsubscribed to sharpish.
A bottle of viscous lube should be a staple, and as a modern woman in charge of her own pleasure, you should have a bottle handy for all sexual adventures. Plus, lube often double as excellent hand creams.
We often get asked if it isn’t ’embarrassing’ to bring out a bottle of lube and the answer is always, in one word: no. It really isn’t. It shows you are prepared for pleasure & play, and to be honest; you don’t want sex to get chafey… That really isn’t fun or pleasurable. We say: wield your bottle of lube with pride!
Love Balls are essential – childbirth and ageing takes a natural toll whether we like it or not. Keeping vaginal muscles in good shape is important: it helps avoid leaky issues, and it’ll encourage stronger orgasms too.
Pop a pair of love balls in as you go about your day and you’ll find it’s a way of training that requires very little input, but still delivers maximum output. The balls will rock & roll against your G-spot as you move about, which can be very arousing…
Je Joue Ami, a set of three weighted pelvic floor exercisers encased in sensual silicone, is a fantastic kit. The idea is to progressively tone up the pelvic floor by using increasingly heavier weights. Over time, you’ll develop better control which means you’ll feel more during penetrative sex. It’s a win-win!
As the body ages, arousal can take a little longer, but with the help of a pleasure gel or oil you’ll find that your vulva may still be exceptionally responsive. These products enhance blood flow to the lady garden, making labia lips and clitoris swell with pleasure.
Add a little bit of the enhancing gel or oil directly to your finger, and then massage it into the tissue around the clitoris. You’ll feel a warm, tingling sensation – this is the product working its magic.
Age can change how sexual pleasure feels, and clitoral sensitivity may increase or decrease.
If it’s the latter, a small but intense vibrator buzzing away on and around the clit can be a game changer. The Sh! Secret vibe offers 20 different settings and packs a real pleasure punch.
If the high pitched buzz of Sh! Secret isn’t for you, we recommend giving Sh! Easy Egg a chance. A lower, rumblier vibration can help tip you over the edge faster than you can steep a cup of tea… It takes 2 x AAA batteries – handy – and the soft cover with its raised nodules offer extra texture to rub against.
Sh! Easy Egg has a cord between the vibrating egg and the control. This is works especially well for couples’ play – your partner can hold the control whilst you enjoy the egg, so you are still playing together.
The We Vibe Tango is also a hit with our more mature customers. It’s a stylish lipstick-style vibe with 8 modes and USB charger. It’s really easy to hold and place against various hot spots. If discreet design is important, We Vibe Tango looks just like a designer lippy. And – one more thing, Tango is 100% waterproof for play in the bath or shower.
Fun Factory Semilino is a cute, smaller-sized vibe with a number of different setting to enjoy. Lube up the ridges on the shaft before inserting, and then practice doing your pelvic floor squeezes around the vibe. We promise a work out has never been so much fun!
Self-lubricating internal vibe Cascade with its soft, rippled tip is perfect for stimulating the G-spot. A press of a button releases just the right amount of lube for comfortable play. We often hear women say their G-spot became more sensitive and more receptive to stimulation as they got older. Jiggle Cascade in firm come-hither motions on your G-spot and you might just find that a super-strong orgasm is happy to make its way over to you…
For women who want it all – and who doesn’t! – Demona Wave Vibrator is a great choice. Ergonomically designed, the curved shaft presses against the G-spot and slowly strokes it when the extraordinary wave motion is activated. Meanwhile, the soft clitoral stimulator deliver vibration to the clit and you may find yourself enjoying what’s known as a blended orgasm.
Last but not least, we also want to draw your attention to Wand vibrators. These have been popular toys since the 70’s when Godmother of Masturbation, Betty Dodson started the first version of her famous BodySex workshops – teaching women how to masturbate to orgasm. In a group! (We are maybe a little bit too British for that, but our classes on female arousal & orgasms are pretty darn good too.) Now in her 80’s, Betty is still going strong – a true inspiration!
But back to the Wands – high intensity with a deep rumble, it is very hard to not have on orgasms with one of these. If your libido is very low, a Wand buzzing away on the clitoris can help kickstart arousal and pleasure again.
We love to hear from our mature customers, so feel free to leave us a message below – tips, tricks, advice, we’re looking forward to all of it. Or, if you have a question for us, please email email@example.com and we’ll be able to offer tailored advice. 🙂
I have a few questions about lube I hope you can help me with:
1. What kind of lubricant should I use during pregnancy? And why would some lubricants be suitable and others not?
2. Lubricants for people with diabetes – I’ve heard some lubricants contain sugar?
3. Can sex toys cause cystitis? What are the safest practices for people affected by this condition?
Can you help me out?
(Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity)
Many thanks for your email – these are all excellent questions and we think a lot of people will be interested in finding out more about lubes.
Generally, use of lubricants is not harmful to either parent or child, and we have a selection of good waterbased lubes to choose from.. During some stages of pregnancy, lubricant can also help enhance pleasure and alleviate any dryness caused by over-active hormones. (Although many women find they do not need lube during pregnancy as the body will naturally produce a lot of extra lubrication.)
Products with mild formulations are much better for the skin as pregnancy can cause hypersensitivity to certain ingredients that may have previously caused no problem.
Lubes with glycerine/sugars, parabens and fragrances should be avoided. These ingredients can be irritating at the best of times, but as pregnant women are more prone to yeast infections and UTI’s, we recommend giving them a (wide) berth.
Silicone-based lubricants are not generally recommended as they are not water soluble, and could cause bacteria to collect inside the vagina and, over time, cause infections.
Also avoid lubricants with additives designed to enhance pleasure, like warming or tingling lubes – they may cause unpleasant side effects when/if your vagina is extra sensitive.
Products containing L-arginine, Lidocane, Capsicum, and Menthol are not advised for use during pregnancy. This is because they could cause irritation to extra-sensitive pregnant skin and there is not enough research into the effects of topical use of these ingredients on expecting mothers. Using these products could carry possible health risks to both mother and baby. It is always best for mum-to-be to get advice from their GP about these ingredients.
For a product to be classified as vegan, it needs to not contain any ingredients derived from animals or from animal by-products. They must be safe to ingest, contain no hormones and not be tested on animals. Currently, the products we stock that are Vegan-friendly (no animal products, synthetic alternatives, and vegetable glycerine) are as follows:
When it comes to diabetes some flavoured lubes do contain sugar, so it’s best to avoid those for oral sex. Glycerin, which is a common ingredient in many lubricants, is a form of sugar but not one that will be processed by your body or raise your blood sugar. Still, diabetes can make you more prone to cystitis because it raises the sugar levels of your urine making a happy breeding ground for bacteria – so you might want to avoid putting any kind of sugar in your vagina as it could increase your chances of getting yeast infections.
Lube and Cystitis
Cystitis is also known as the “honeymoon disease” – it is very common to experience an unpleasant bout of cystitis after an intense sex session, especially if there hasn’t been any sexual activity for a while. The friction of sex can be a little too much for the sensitive urethra, and bacteria may make their way into the bladder. Make sure to always go for a pee after sex, this will help keep urethra and bladder as happy as can be.
Try positions that cause little or no friction on the urethra, and use a good lube to ensure no unnecessary rubbing of a sensitive area.
As far as avoiding cystitis in general goes, the important thing is to clean your toys. You can use something like Sh! toy cleaner to make the process of cleaning your favourite toys easy peasy – spritz it on, rinse off and leave your toy to air dry (it’s better to let your toys air dry as towels or tissues can leave behind tiny particles). Or, use antibacterial hand soap and warm water but be careful with toys that aren’t waterproof.
Sh! own brand dildos can also be sterilised by boiling them in a pan for three minutes (just remember to remove the vibrating bullet, if you have a vibrating dildo) or putting them through the dishwasher. Then store them somewhere clean and fluff-free.
Avoid swapping toys between partners without cleaning in between (or cover with condoms for easy clean-up mid-session), and never go from back to front without washing your vibe/dildo in-between. The anus is full of bacteria that you won’t want in your vagina – this is often an excellent way of inadvertently giving oneself an infection.
Also, as an added bonus to your questions, we’d like to add some information about pregnancy and massage oils.
We all agree massages are lovely, but when it comes to products created for body massage for pregnant women it is very important that anything containing essential oils is not used. The reason for this is that some compounds in certain essential oils actually have hormone-like behaviours (because of their molecular structure). Another risk is that some have an emmenagogue (em·men·a·gogue) action when taken orally or applied onto the body (these are herbs that stimulate blood flow in the pelvic area and uterus). They are traditionally used to help to promote and regulate menstrual flow (periods), and so should be avoided during pregnancy.
Use of essential oils, ultimately, can cause birth defects or can start premature labour (intrauterine contractions) resulting in miscarriage.
Frequent use of almond oil in pregnancy is linked to an increased risk of premature birth. Almond oil is the main component of many massage oils as it is a basic carrier oil for other essential oils.
Most sex toys bought by lesbians in our store are bought as a couple, primarily to play with and enjoy together, though, as with most sex toys, many lesbian faves can be enjoyed for solo sessions as well.
Here’s the Top 6 lesbian sex toys sold at Sh!
1. Lube: A True Lesbian Essential.
Lube is one of the best lesbian sex toys there is and we’d say lube heads up our list of top lesbian sex toys by a mile.
Lesbian sex is circular and can go on and on and on… We’ve had many a lesbian couple at Sh! say they just got out of bed after three days of non-stop sex.
Women can have multiple orgasms: get two women together and the possibilities are endless!
However turned-on you are and however hot your lover, when sex can go on for days, no body’s natural juices can keep up with that kind of intensity and that’s why a bottle of good lube is standard fare beside most lesbian beds.
Choosing the right lube for your bodies, and for any sex toys you may be playing with, is key to loving it and we find that our lesbian customers are probably the most in-tune-with-lube customer group we meet.
2. Strap On: No Lesbian Fallacy!
A strap-on may be a stereotypical lesbian toy, beloved of porn films and ‘who’s the man?’ jokes.
The pleasures of a strap-on are many, but in our experience, most lesbian couples enjoy strap-on play simply because it provides intimacy and thrilling penetration whilst leaving both partners’ hands free for exploring elsewhere…
Strapless dildos were cautiously embraced by lesbian couples when they hit the shelves a few years back and, at first, they recieved mixed reviews from gay girl couples; some found using a strapless dildo tricky & frustrating, whilst other couples loved the intimacy and connection these sex toys provide.
Strapless dildos are better for grinding together rather than thrusting – they are hot sex toys for leisurely, intimate lesbian sex, rather than wild, rip ’em off lesbian sex!
4. Extra thrills for lesbian fingers & tongues
What three things do lesbians use most in bed? Their hands, their mouths and their imagination!
Manual-play and cunnilingus are often the bedrock of lesbian sex so choosing a finger or tongue vibrator for an extra buzz is a fun and inexpensive way to add playful new thrills to old favorites.
Vibrators for tongues or vibrators worn on a finger are a top ‘add-on’ purchase for lesbian couples instore (as once spied , imaginations soar!) with Feelztoys tongue and finger vibes topping the list as they come in pairs; one for each of you to wear when hands or mouth are heading in the knicker direction!
5. Non-Phallic Toys
In our experience, most lesbian couples don’t want overtly phallic-shaped dildos and vibrators.
No wonder – many lesbians have been told that what they really need is a ‘good man to sort them out’!
We don’t stock “realistic” sex toys, so most of our sex toys, whether an interesting dildo or stylish vibe, get the thumbs up from our lesbian customers.
6. Traditional Double Dildos for Sharing Lesbian Penetrative Pleasure
Not quite as popular as mainstream lesbian porn films would have us believe, but double dildos still makes our top 6 lesbian sex toy list, as thankfully the sex toy design revolution has moved them on from the old-school sex toys of yore.
Ideal for couples who both enjoy penetration and would like to enjoy it together, a double dildo is simply an extra-long dildo with a penetrative portion at each end; one for each of you.
Not the easiest toy in the box, but once you learn how how to use a double dildo the mix of shared sensations and hot visuals can be a head mix.
Sex toys aren’t just for singletons, they’re fab for enhancing sex as a couple too. As toys loose their stigma, more and more couples are discovering that playing with sex toys together can turn good sex into GREAT sex.
Introducing a sex toy into your relationship can feel intimidating, if you are unsure of your partner’s response, but it’s important to remember that a toy is simply a TOY … not a replacement or comment on your sex life.
For women, toys can add an intensity that better guarantees an orgasm and for men they can add different kind of thrills…
For new couples, toys are a great way to explore all the different ways to delight each other and start the relationship the way you mean to go on, with a creativity that goes far beyond the missionary position..
And for long-term partners, toys are a brilliant way to spice up sex and re-kindle the excitement of new-lust fever…
But what makes a great sex toy for a couple?
In our London store, we advise and match couples to the right toy everyday, and understand what are the turn-ons and the turn-offs – here we bring you the top 5 toys for couples to share.
1. Best for Every Couple & Every Kind of Sex!
Our No 1, all-time best ‘toy’ for couples is lube. Lube enhances every kind of sex you have together, bringing a new slipperiness, and sensitivity that natural wetness simply doesn’t match – no matter how copious!
From erotic massage, breast-play, hand-jobs to intercourse, by way of every intimate touch in between, lube makes your two bodies connect and glide sensually together and liberates all worries of staying wet, no matter what you get up to or for how long!
2. Best Discreet Couples’ Toys.
Every toy in our website can be shared by couples – there are no rules, so if something catches your eye together, go for it!
But if you are just starting out on the toy-front, it’s best to choose something that doesn’t feel like you’ve imposed a threesome.
A couples’ sex toy shouldn’t make either one of you feel inadequate or left out. Nor should it be intimidating – we don’t recommend surprising your partner with a large penetrative toy!
Designer vibrators are popular among couples as they add stylish buzz to the bedroom without either one of the couple feeling replaced or intimidated. A luxury vibrator is simply beautiful pleasure object that feels like a sophisticated addition to the love-life you share together. They are beautifully packaged too, which makes them the best toy to buy your partner as a gift.
These toys simply add a different sensation to oral or manual play; a sensation your finger or tongue ( no matter how expert!) can’t deliver on its own. Playful and novel, they are made for couples sex!
An egg or bullet vibrator also makes a good toy for couples to share. Small and discreet they can be cupped in the hand, held against the cheek or nuzzled against your clitoris during sex, without ‘getting in the way’
Less of a financial investment than a luxury, designer vibrator, these toys are ideal if you would like to explore adding a buzz without breaking the bank.
3. Best Hands-Free Toys to Enhance Intercourse.
Intercourse features top of the menu for most M/F couples, but less than 20% of women can climax through penetration alone. This isn’t anything to feel inadequate about, just a fact that women usually need external clitoral stimulation in order to reach the Big O.
So any toy that stimulates your clitoris during intercourse makes a great sex toy.
Anintercourse vibratoris specially designed foryou wear inside, whilst still leaving enough room for him to slip inside too
Toys such as the We-Vibeor Noa will stimulate your clitoris and G-Spot at the same time, delivering amazing hands-free, dual stimulation.
These toys are an investment, so another good option is a vibrating ring worn on his penis will vibrate your clitoris during penetrative sex, adding that all-important extra stimulation. For him, they deliver a pleasurable squeeze to keep his erection stronger, for longer.
Both of these toys will give him a vibrating thrill as well – now that’s sharing!
4. Best Toys to Spice-Up Dates.
Great sex is all about shared intimacy and playfulness, so what better way for couples to add an extra thrill to date-night but to play with a remote-controlled vibrator, with one of you controlling the buzz and the other receiving.
Operating with many meters of distance between you and delivering a range of escalating and throbbing patterns to surprise, delight and tease, no matter how far you or your playmate wanders, you’ll both feel connected with a shared sense of secret ‘naughtiness’
… and there’s no reason why the bullet can’t be slipped into his Y-fronts and you control the remote!
5. Best for Long-Distance Love Affairs
Technology has finally caught up with the fact that many a modern relationship is often separated by miles between you or may even be a purely interweb affair.
Sex toys that can be controlled by and operated within secure apps address this by introducing intimate thrills and shared connection even when couples are continents apart.
Not cheap (and certainly not for technophobes!) these toys are playthings for a brave new world!
Whether a sex-toy virgin, looking for a first vibrator or budding sexpert seeking new toys, the most important thing to think about, when choosing a sex toy, is what you want to get out of your toy.
Ask yourself; What is the main type of pleasure I want from my sex toy ?
It’s easy to get boggled or diverted by all the different styles of playthings available, but in order to find the right sex toy for you, one that will meet your expectations and deliver the kind of pleasure you’re looking for, the best starting point is to zone in on exactly what you want its main job to be…
The best toy, for intense stimulation of the external clitoris and vulva is a vibrator.
Many people assume the way to use a vibrator is inside, replicating intercourse, but actually 80% of women only use theirs externally on or around their clitoris, during masturbation.
Clitoral stimulation is key to most women’s orgasms.
No wonder, then, that vibrators are the most popular sex toy choice for most women shopping at Sh! and the kind we advise most about.
Any toy that vibrates will stimulate your clitoris, so feel free to choose any vibrator that appeals to you.
You can spend as little as £10, up to well over £100. Choosing the right vibrator is a very personal choice and we have LOTS of advice to help you. If you’d like tailored advice, give us a call and we’ll be happy to talk through the best options for you.
For internal pleasure: choose a vibrator or a dildo
You’ll see from the picture above, your clitoris has two shafts that loop inside and hug the vagina. Your vaginal entrance is also packed with sensitive nerve-endings, so intense pleasure can come from inside too.
Choosing the right shape and size of a penetrative toy IS important.
The right toy for penetrative pleasure is something of a Goldilocks choice; One that’s too big or wide for you will feel uncomfortable, just as a toy that’s too small or slim will feel unfulfilling.
The best way is to think of ( or measure!) the size of your preferred penetrative pleasure object ( fingers? penis? another sex toy?) and go for similar proportions.
Despite the jokes, size isn’t everything. Every woman is different, which is why we stock penetrative toys, whether a dildo or a vibrator, from tiny size up.
For your G-Spot – Choose a vibrator or dildo that’s specially shaped for G-Spot pleasure
There’s lots of hoo-haw recently about whether the G-Spot exists. We don’t believe there’s been enough proper ‘evidence’ of this and prefer to go on personal research!
It might be that we don’t all respond in the same way but, whether it’s part of the internal clitoris or indeed a special magical ( and illusive!) spot, many, many women report a difference in sensations and orgasmic qualities that come from inside…
So, we will continue to call it the ‘G-Spot’ and give advice that is gathered from talking to 1000’s of women.
A toy that has a curved or bulbous head is best suited to finding and stimulating the G-Spot more easily and more comfortably, than a straight-sided toy.
His Prostate – Choose a vibrator or dildo that is specially shaped for P-Spot pleasure
Whist we’re on the subject of ‘special spots’ men have their own, comparable to the G-Spot, called the Prostate.
Located in their bum, lots of men are are discovering the amazing orgasmic capabilities of their Prostate.
Like any toy destined for anal pleasure, a Prostate Massager must be a safe shape so it doesn’t get lots up there.
Both your G-Spot and his Prostate respond to pressure and motion better than vibration. which is why a silicone dildo is great for G-Spot and prostate pleasure, plus with 30+ sizes & shapes, all with anal-safe bases, there’s also more choice…
Whether it’s him to enjoy solo or for you toplay with together, a male masturbator is a fabulous sex toy for men – a stimulating sleeve that will deliver a hand-job from heaven!
We don’t stock any ‘realistic’ toys and this extends, of course, to our male sex toys selection. So they make great gifts, without stirring up any weird feelings about them being ‘replacements or ‘replicas’ for the ‘real thing’
We are always being told to rubber up before jumping in the sack, but many people are still in the dark about the different types of protection there are available protect you and your partner(s) from STI’s ( sexual transmitted infections).
Safe-sex advice often focuses on keeping safe during intercourse and anal sex and certainly these are the more riskier types of sex, but sexual health is also important for lesbians, which is why we stock a range of safe sex supplies; not just condoms, but also dams and gloves – to keep you covered, whatever your sexuality or preferred sexual activity.
Condoms are the cornerstone of safer-sex play and are the most widely used form of protection.
Use a fresh,new condomand lots of water-based lube every time you have penetrative sex (whether vaginal or anal), anytime going from back to front ( ie going from anal to vaginal) and anytime you share a sex toy.
Using a condom will protect both you and your partner against the majority of sexually transmitted infections.
Condoms, such as Pasante Extra condomsare designed especially for anal play as they are thicker than your average condom and more resistant to breaking or tearing.
Many condoms are already lubricated but using extra lube on the outside further protects the condom from splitting as well as enhancing glide.
Putting a little lube inside the teat of the condom also enhances sensation for him but you only need a tiny drop to do the trick ( going overboard can mean the condom can slide off him altogether!)
Make sure you use proper lube and never( ever!) any moisturizers you have to hand, such as massage, baby oils or body lotions. Not only are they likely to contain perfumes and chemicals that are irritating to delicate genital tissue, they are likely to contain mineral oils, which can degrade latex quickly, causing the condom to split.
Condoms can spice-up sex, as well as keep it safe…
Small cuts on the hands, hang nails, those who bite their nails – there’s lots of reasons why to cover-up hands and protect yourself and your lover against possible transmission routes for viruses or bacteria.
Gloves are perfect for all manual sex play, and especially for fisting and anal play, where they turn hands into sleek playthings.
And there’s another benefit to using gloves; unlike skin, they don’t absorb lubricant so maintaining a sensual glide is easier with glove-covered mitts. Adding lots of water-based lubricant, transforms your hands and fingers into incredibly slippery tools of pleasure!
Gloves are also great if you have particularly long nails, which might hurt or cut your partner. TIP: Pop little balls of cotton wool into the fingertips of the glove, to protect the glove from tearing and give a cushioned effect for the receiver.
I’m allergic to latex – can I still have safer-sex?
Savvy women don’t expect a partner to sort out the safe-sex stuff, but do it themselves, by carrying a dam or condom, along with a sachet of lube, in their bags, just in case!
But safe-sex isn’t just about having and using the right supplies.
Talking about safer sex will help you make choices together and open up the conversation about sex; your likes, dislikes and like-to-try’s, which is a great basis for a GREAT relationship.
It’s best to start the conversation before you hit the bedroom, as once you’ve got to the heat of the moment, it can be really difficult to put the brakes one and bring up the condom-convo.
You might feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll feel much more at ease knowing you’ve got the right type of protection.
It would be so disappointing (and potentially very painful) to find out your new partner has a latex allergy, when all you have is latex condoms and dams.
We aren’t going to show you lots of pictures of infected genitalia – they are not pleasant, and many images are plastered over the internet anyway…a quick search will show you all you need to know!
What we do want to share is that all unprotected sex can be risky, albeit there are different risk levels for different types of play.
Although the risk of HIV infection is lower in lesbian sex than heterosexual or gay male partners, there is still the possibility of contracting a STI so always be sure to practice safer sex, whatever your sexuality.
We urge everyone to get tested regularly and rubber up with new partners, because taking control of your sexual heath and well-being is really sexy.