jillian-boyd

Guest Post: Love Balls, Saucy Dares & Writing Sex Toy Erotica

Today we are super-excited to have blogger, author and editor Jillian Boyd with us! Those of you who are familiar with Jillian’s work will know that she likes to serve up her sexy stories extra-hot – with a side of awkward. And we are sure that you, just like us, are always keen on having seconds!

Having taken a little peek at the various social media platforms she uses, we’ve found out she’s a big Dr Who fan, she likes baking and knows all the steps to ‘5,6,7,8’ by Steps – a woman after our own hearts!

We recently read her story Dare You To from the erotic anthology Come Again, and immediately knew we had to invite Jillian over to tell us about the story behind the story… Over to you, Jillian!

Somewhere in between the general clutter still left over from our house move is a box of sex toys. And in that box, along with enough condoms and lube to have a really, really fun Saturday night, is a pair of love balls. I won them a few years back in a Twitter competition – not too long after I started writing erotica but well before I wrote what still stands as probably my favourite story I’ve ever written.

And those particular love balls were firmly on my mind when I wrote it.

come-again-bookI don’t often write sex toys into my stories. Vibrators make it in on occasion, but for the most part I hadn’t actually considered cranking it up a notch. Giving toys a time to shine, so to say. Until two years ago, when Rachel Kramer Bussel – editing legend and all-round lovely sort – posted a call for submissions. She was looking for sex toy erotica – toys incorporated into your plot in whatever way you dreamt up.

The eventual spark of inspiration? Came in the form of an opening sentence. A scene-setter. My main character, at an important ad campaign pitch, trying to keep a level head while, unbeknownst to her colleagues, she’s wearing a pair of vibrating love balls. From that opener, the rest quickly came together. A couple of soon-to-be-weds, under such a stress from wedding planning that time or energy for anything sexy has flown out the window. The solution? A game of ever-escalating sexual dares – the vibrating love balls being the grand finale.

Mainly because I love love balls. I adore everything about them. The sheer aesthetic variation, the versatility in what they can do for you… and they seemed like a natural fit for the grand finale of the game my two main characters were playing. Love balls move as you do, twirling inside in response to your movements and providing not just teasing and massaging sensations but also a constant reminder that they’re there.

With my main character juggling planning a wedding with planning a major pitch, having her be dared by her future husband to wear them while she’s giving the pitch felt like the right thing to do. Only she knows they’re inside her – knows it very well, in fact – and spends the majority of her pitch trying to hide not just her escalating arousal but her escalating frustration at how the stress of the past few months has eaten into her sex life.

It is, as I said, my favourite story I’ve written to date. A perfect storm of sexual frustration, cosy love… and love balls, of course.

Now, I wouldn’t tease you like that without actually giving you a teeny-tiny snippet from my story! It’s called Dare You To, and can be found in Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press (available in store at Sh!).

His revenge, he promised, would be “sweeter than sweet”. He wasn’t kidding. A week after he jingled his bells at our florist appointment, I found the little red package containing the vibrating love balls. His instruction: to wear them at my presentation with the board.

I was, quite honestly, trembling with nerves. And arousal, but mostly nerves. David knew full well that this was an important meeting which could determine the future of the advertising agency I worked for; I’d been managing this project for as long as we’d been planning the wedding. It’s not a good sign when the hopes and future plans of the company rest on a woman who is desperately trying not to squirm and brush her hand against the crotch of her already soaking panties.

“Good luck today, Katarzyna.” said my boss, as she entered the boardroom. “You don’t need to be nervous.”

“Ooh, I’m not nervous, Mrs Sedgwick, not in the slightest, not at all.” I sputtered, as a particularly strong vibration coursed through my body. “I’m just trying to keep… keep my circulation up! Yes, that’s why I’m all hoppy today. Got to keep fit! It’s in keeping with the campaign!”

“Right…” she said, straightening her glasses before turning towards our clients. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. And welcome to Mr Defoe and Ms Brown from Cambridge Athletics…”

As Mrs Sedgwick spoke, I tried my best to not turn around and flash the heads of Cambridge Athletics with the wet spot on my skirt. Fuck, I really should have worn something darker and less conspicuous… I braced myself and started talking, trying to keep my voice level and not squeaky from the mounting arousal.

“Cambridge Athletics is a young brand, and as you’ll see, my team and I have worked very hard to… KEEP in touch with the TARGET MARKET.”

I took another deep breath before I started my slide presentation. This was going to be the longest hour of my life…

And if you’re looking for advice on how to choose and use love balls, or maybe some shopping inspiration, Sh! – aka a treasure trove for an erotica writer like me – has you more than covered.

Handy links if you fancy giving love balls a go:

A guide to choosing and using love balls.

Sh! Silicone Love Balls

Remote Vibration K Love Balls

Lelo Luna Beads Noir

Fun Factory Smart Balls Duo (recommended by me – these are the ones I own!)

Q&A: How do I get past my sexual trauma?

Q&A: How do I get past my sexual trauma?

All names are changed for the purposes of anonymity.

Hi Sh!

I wonder if you could advise me or whether this is outside your advice area.

I have never bought a vibrator or any sex toy as my first relationship was with a very controlling, abusive man who even thought touching yourself was cheating (me, not for him) and my second and current relationship is with a fairly shy man (husband) who has only just decided to let go and open up on experimenting and communicating openly about these things. Before both relationships was a rape and before that nothing (I was brought up on nothing before marriage rule which it took a while to break). I’ve had a baby in the last 9 months with a painful episiotomy and am just starting to feel back to normal sex drive and comfort levels. I am generally pretty experimental and adventurous in other areas of life so it seems a shame to miss out here.

Despite this not awesome start to my sex life, I am very positive about broadening my horizons and interested in vibrators, silver balls, etc but no clue where to start. Any idea how to choose the right toy?

This is an extremely open email to a stranger so a bit scary!

Leanne

 

Hi Leanne

Many thanks for your email, and many thanks for being so open. We meet many women in similar situations, and we hope we can offer advice that will be useful for you.

It is really great that you are thinking about your pleasure. Sexual arousal often starts in the brain, so this is an important step in the right direction.

Before introducing a toy, we’d recommend exploring yourself using just your fingers and some lube. Lube is the most amazing thing, and a drizzle over the fingers and vulva can make a huge difference in how things feel. It’ll make things smoother, but also heighten arousal. It could also be a great idea to download some great erotica written by women for women (no offence guys – but we find female erotica authors often have a way with words that can really get the juices flowing…)

Clitoral Pleasure VibeThere are no right or wrongs when it comes to choosing a toy – it’s all about what the individual person might enjoy. For you, a small toy for external pleasure may be a good starting point. We have a great selection of vibrators for clitoral pleasure on our website and in our shop. These are designed to stimulate and tease the clitoris (and with 8000 nerve-endings on it’s tip, it does like stimulation!). In terms of vibration, it’s always a good idea to choose a toy with more than one speed, as this gives you variety and options. You might find that you like just plain vibration, or you might find that you like fancy pulses and patterns.

Love balls (silver balls) are great fun, and can be used for toning the pc muscle (especially important after having given birth) and also as sex toys. You can pop the balls inside whilst you explore the outer vulva with your fingers or vibrator. Having something to grip onto can feel super-sexy, so we recommend exploring what feels best for you.

If you’d like a toy to use with your husband, we have a fun selection of couples toys, like vibrating cock rings. These rings are great for newbies, and a gentle way to introduce sex toys into a relationship.

If you live in or around London, you might like to come along to Cafe V sometime. Cafe V is a support group for female survivors of sexual violence and assault. We talk about sex and sex toys, and we drink tea and eat pastries. It’s set up by My Body Back Project in collaboration with Sh!, and it’s definitely worth checking out.

Have fun, and let us know how you get on!

Love,

Team Sh! xx

love balls advice

How To Choose & Use Love Balls

Love Balls are weighted spheres, sometimes just a single ball but more commonly two, designed to designed to slip inside the vagina.

The weights inside the balls cause them to move around as you do,  twirling around inside, in response to your movements, providing  teasing and massaging sensations as well as a constant reminder of their presence.

Also known as ‘Love Eggs’ ‘Geisha Balls’ ‘Ben Wa Balls’ ‘Orgasm Balls and ‘Duotone Balls’, Love Balls seem to have a long history, rooted in Eastern/Taoist sexuality. They are believed to have originated in Japan to give men extra sensations during intercourse.

But women soon realised the sensual and exercising benefits of wearing them on their own…

More recently, Love Balls became famous in 2012 when they featured in Fifty Shades of Grey, and certainly the heroine  Anastasia Steele loved them.

In terms of pleasure and stimulation, Love Balls seem to have fans and critics in equal measure. Some women swear to climaxing whilst dashing for the bus, whereas others tell us they found Love Balls about as stimulating as a tampon, ie they couldn’t really feel anything. Choosing the right size is key to getting a balance between having their massaging presence felt and prompting your body’s natural response to squeeze to keep them inside.

The most important thing to remember about Love Balls is that they require your movements be stimulating – they are not a toy to simply lie back and do nothing!

The 3 main of effects of Love Balls

  • Their constant small movements build a slow-burning arousal.
  • Your PC Muscles naturally contract to keep a grip, making them stronger – and a strong PC means stronger, longer, easier orgasms.
  • Worn during penetrative sex, love balls can deliver extra sensations & stimulation for both partners.

Which Love Balls should you choose?

 

Geisha Balls £18
Geisha Balls £18

Beginners should start with larger size balls,  as these are the easiest to keep hold on to.

Their larger size also means their presence is most likely to be felt – larger balls are hardest to ignore!

 

 

 

 

 

Sh! Silicone Love Balls £18
Sh! Silicone Love Balls £18

As your PC Muscle develops and becomes stronger, you can move onto smaller, heavier balls, such as the Sh! Silicone Love Balls. Smaller and heavier means your PC muscle has to work harder to keep a grip.

 

 

 

 

The massaging sensations of Love Balls are usually enjoyed solo but you can use them during partner sex to add extra stimulation during penetration.

Ben Wa Balls £10
Ben Wa Balls £10

Our advice is to start with small balls, such as  Ben Wa Balls, for intercourse, unless you and your partner are very different in size. Ben Wa balls are a lot smaller and heavier than most Love Balls.

In term of PC muscle exercise, these are the hardest to keep a grip upon.

 

Ben Wa Balls are not joined together by a cord, but don’t worry – non-corded Ben Wa Balls are designed to be so heavy that they will not “get lost” – to remove them, simply loosen your grip and gravity will take it’s course.

 

How to Insert Love Balls

Coating your Love Balls in water-based lube makes inserting them easier. Remember though, that the easier and slipperier they are to insert, the more they will be inclined to slide out!

Start by lying down, crooking one leg up and popping each Love Ball inside your vagina one at a time.

You could just try squeezing your PC Muscle against them, in this position ( perhaps adding a clitoral vibrator, if their presence has prompted a solo-sex mood!)

Once you’ve become accustomed to the feeling of Love Balls, it’s time to stand up and start moving around…

As you become more confident, you can try ‘wearing’ Love balls can during the day to spice up everyday tasks – the constant reminder of them inside can build and prolong arousal as well as be a thrilling secret only you know about…

…we’ll never forget the 3 female executives who came to Sh! to buy Love Balls to liven up their afternoon meetings!

However, you will want to be uber confident you can keep a grip on your balls, if you decide to step into the outside world whilst wearing them.

Love Balls for Kegals/PC muscle exercise

Having the balls inside makes you more aware of the squeezing action that is required to strengthen your PC and a well-toned PC can give you stronger, longer orgasms.

Simply ‘gripping’ action will help with kegal toning.  For a more boot camp regime, please see our PC Muscle Exercise Guide

 

Thousands of women have explored the sensations love balls offer,  gained a stronger PC muscle whilst they’ve been at it and subsequently experienced stronger or easier orgasms – a win-win situation if ever there was one.

advice sex toys

How To Choose The Right Sex Toy

Whether a sex-toy virgin, looking for a first vibrator or budding sexpert seeking new toys, the most important thing to think about, when choosing a sex toy, is what you want to get out of your toy.

Ask yourself; What is the main type of pleasure I want from my sex toy ?

It’s easy to get boggled or diverted by all the different styles of playthings available, but in order to find the right sex toy for you, one that will meet your expectations and deliver the kind of pleasure you’re looking for, the best starting point is to zone in on exactly what you want its main job to be…

For clitoral pleasure –  choose a vibrator

The best toy,  for intense stimulation of the external clitoris and vulva is a vibrator.

If you're looking for a sex toy to give dedicated clitoral pleasure, a vibrator is the best toy for you to choose...
If you’re looking for a sex toy to give dedicated clitoral pleasure, a vibrator is the best toy for you to choose…

Many people assume the way to use a vibrator is inside, replicating intercourse, but actually 80% of women only use theirs externally on or around their clitoris, during masturbation.

Your Clitoris & How to Pleasure It...
Your Clitoris & How to Pleasure It…

Clitoral stimulation is key to most women’s orgasms.

No wonder, then, that vibrators are the most popular sex toy choice for most women shopping at Sh! and the kind we advise most about.

Any toy that vibrates will stimulate your clitoris,  so feel free to choose any vibrator that appeals to you.

 

Sh! Bullet Vibrator £10
Sh! Bullet Vibrator £10
Womanizer Clitoral Suction Toy £129
Womanizer Clitoral Suction Toy £129

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can spend as little as £10, up to well over £100. Choosing the right vibrator is a very personal choice and we have LOTS of advice to help you. If you’d like tailored advice, give us a call and we’ll be happy to talk through the best options for you.

Read more from advice categories:

Read more specific advice:

For internal pleasure: choose a vibrator or a dildo

You’ll see from the picture above, your clitoris has two shafts that loop inside and hug the vagina. Your vaginal entrance is also packed with sensitive nerve-endings, so intense pleasure can come from inside too.

Choosing the right shape and size of a penetrative toy IS important.

The right toy for penetrative pleasure is something of a Goldilocks choice; One that’s too big or wide for you will feel uncomfortable, just as a toy that’s too small or slim will feel unfulfilling.

The best way is to think of ( or measure!) the size of your preferred penetrative pleasure object ( fingers? penis? another sex toy?) and  go for similar proportions.

 

Desire Vibrator £49
A vibrator with a shaft can be enjoyed for penetrative, as well as clitoral pleasure
Cupid 3 Vibrating Dildo £50
A dildo is also a good choice if you are looking for penetrative pleasure

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite the jokes, size isn’t everything. Every woman is different, which is why we stock penetrative toys, whether a dildo or a vibrator, from tiny size up.

Read More:


For both inside and out  – choose a Rabbit

Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 A Rabbit vibrator delivers combined internal and clitoral stimulation, offering the possibility for a 'blended' orgasm
Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 A Rabbit vibrator delivers combined internal and clitoral stimulation, offering the possibility for a ‘blended’ orgasm

 

 

One of the most famous sex toys in history, the rabbit vibrator offers amazing dual sensations.

Internal massage is combined with intense clitoral stimulation.

Millions of women agree that it’s a winning combination!

 

Read more:

 


 

 

For stronger orgasms through PC Muscle/ Kegal workout – choose love balls

 

Love balls are 2 weighted spheres designed to strengthen the PC muscle, which, in time  will give you stronger orgasms
Love balls are 2 weighted spheres designed to strengthen the PC muscle, which, in time will give you stronger orgasms

 

The key to stronger, longer, more certain orgasms is a strong PC muscle, which you learn to flex during sex is key.

They also seem to be imposrtant to learning how to female ejaculate or ‘squirt’

Love balls, made famous in Fifty Shades of Grey, are 2 heavy balls that you wear inside (vaginally)

The weight means that you naturally tense your PC muscle to keep them in place.

Many women also tell us they find them pleasurable to wear in themselves, as they twirl around in response to your movements.

Read More

 

 


For your G-Spot – Choose a vibrator or dildo that’s specially shaped for G-Spot pleasure

 

There’s lots of hoo-haw recently about whether the G-Spot exists. We don’t believe there’s been enough proper ‘evidence’ of this and prefer to go on personal research!

It might be that we don’t all respond in the same way but, whether it’s part of the internal clitoris or indeed a special magical ( and illusive!) spot, many, many women report a difference in sensations and orgasmic qualities that come from inside…

Your G-Spot
Your G-Spot

So, we will continue to call it the ‘G-Spot’ and give advice that is gathered from talking to 1000’s of women.

A  toy that has a curved or bulbous head is best suited to finding and stimulating the G-Spot  more easily and more comfortably, than a straight-sided toy.

A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous tip can find & stimulate the G-Spot more easily, than a straight toy
A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous tip can find & stimulate the G-Spot more easily, than a straight toy
The G-Spot responds to pressure & firm massage, more than vibration, making a Glass dildo a great toy for G-spotting
The G-Spot responds to pressure & firm massage, more than vibration, making a Glass dildo a great toy for G-spotting…
Honey G-Spot Silicone Dildos are ergonomically curved to massage 'special spots'
Honey G-Spot Silicone Dildos are ergonomically curved to massage ‘special spot’

 

Read More


His Prostate – Choose a vibrator or dildo that is specially shaped for P-Spot pleasure

 

Men have their own special spot, called the Prostate Gland, that can give them amazing orgasms...
The Prostate Gland, can give men amazing orgasms…

 

Whist we’re on the subject of ‘special spots’ men have their own, comparable to the G-Spot, called the Prostate.

Located in their bum, lots of men are are discovering the amazing orgasmic capabilities of their Prostate.

Like any toy destined for anal pleasure, a Prostate Massager must be a safe shape so it doesn’t get lots up there.

Rocks Off Naughty Boy £49 - World famous 'hands-free' prostate massager for him
Rocks Off Naughty Boy £49 – World famous ‘hands-free’ prostate massager for him
Wild Swan £20 - Any G-Spot Vibrator with a wide base can safely be enjoyed for prostate massage too...
Wild Swan £20 – Any G-Spot Vibrator with a wide base can safely be enjoyed for prostate massage too…

 

 

Both your G-Spot and his Prostate respond to pressure and motion better than vibration. which is why a silicone dildo is great for G-Spot and prostate pleasure, plus with 30+ sizes & shapes, all with anal-safe bases, there’s also more choice…

 

Read More:

 


 

To enhance intercourse – choose a couple’s toy

 

Lelo Noa £65 - Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time...
Lelo Noa £65 – Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time…

Over 70% of women find orgasm difficult or impossible through penetration alone and adding a clitoral buzz helps.

Intercourse enhancing toys are specially designed to address this.

Worn by the woman during penetrative sex, these C-shaped vibrators hug the clitoris ( the larger arm) and the G-Spot ( the smaller arm) , whilst leaving room for her partner too.

 

 

 

 

A Vibrating Cock-Ring delivers a clitoral buzz for you, plus a pleasurable squeeze for him, during intercourse
Vibrating Cock-Ring  is a fun toy for added stimulation during intercourse

 

A vibrating cock-ring is also a good sex toy for couples.

A stretchy ring that  is worn at the base of his penis, it will deliver at pleasurable squeeze to him and he’ll feel the vibration too.

The vibrating portion is designed to stimulate your clitoris during penetration,

 

 

 

Discreet toys to slip on your finger will not feel like you've introduced a threesome...
Discreet toys won’t feel like you’ve introduced a threesome…

A discrete toy such as a vibrator for your finger or a tongue vibrator are great if you want to  introduce a sex toy to your partner.

Stylish designer vibrators are also a good choice as they make non-threatening bed-fellows for couples to share and enjoy together.

 

 

 

Penis Extension Sleeves
Penis Extension Sleeves

 

Want to feel a little bit more? For years we’ve rejected penis extension toys for being both iccky and impractical, but finally some have come on to the market that get the Sh! seal of approval.

Designed to slip over his meat n’ 2 veg, they add extra girth to his penis, whilst giving him a stimulating sensation from the textured interior.

Read More:

For backdoor pleasure – Choose a specially designed anal toy.

It's important that a toy desined for anal pleasure is a safe shape, with a wide base, so it can't get 'lost' up there...
It’s important that a toy designed for anal pleasure is a safe shape, with a wide base, so it can’t get ‘lost’ up there…

 

Things can get lost up the bum so it’s very important to use properly designed anal toys, rather than regular ones.

Whether beads, plugs or vibrators, all our toys for anal pleasure are super-smooth and safe, with bases or rings to safeguard them from slipping all the way inside.

The wide bases and hygienic material of silicone dildos also make great anal toys .

Read more:

 

For His Pleasure – Choose a male masturbator

Cool male masturbators - no fake lady lips, just great toys for male pleasure.
Cool male masturbators – no fake lady lips, just great toys for male pleasure.

Whether it’s him to enjoy solo or for you to play with together, a male masturbator is a fabulous sex toy for men – a stimulating sleeve that will deliver a hand-job from heaven!

We don’t stock any ‘realistic’ toys and this extends, of course, to our male sex toys selection. So they make great gifts, without stirring up any weird feelings about them being ‘replacements or ‘replicas’ for the ‘real thing’

Read More :

For Strap On  Sex – Choose a silicone dildo teamed with a strap on harness

2 Strap Harness Hand-made in our London Studio & available in a wide range of sizes and colours £45
2 Strap Harness Hand-made in our London Studio & available in a wide range of sizes and colours £45

 

 

 

For sex with a strap-on, whether as a lesbian couple or for pegging, the most popular and versatile option is to buy a harness, along with a dildo.

We don’t rate ‘fused’ strap-ons as one size most definitely DOES NOT fit all!

Fused strap-ons ( where the dildo is permanently attached to a harness) are also impossible to clean the dildo effectively.

That’s why we hand-produce our own range of harnesses and silicone dildos in our London studio, giving you a huge range of sizes, so every preference is covered.

 

Sh! dildos are hand-poured in super safe silicone and come in a range of over 30 fifferent sizes, meaning there's a perfect dildo, whatever your preference!
Sh! dildos are hand-poured in super safe silicone and come in a range of over 30 fifferent sizes, meaning there’s a perfect dildo, whatever your preference!

 

 

Choosing your harness and dildo individually gives the most bespoke strap-on possible.

Or choose one of our Strap On Kits

 

Best Strap-On Kit £99
Best Strap-On Kit £99

 

They are specially selected to contain everything you need to get started.

 

 

 

 

Pegging Strap On Kit £89
Pegging Strap On Kit £89

 

 

 

 

 

 


For strap-on style sex, without a harness, choose a strapless dildo

Strapless dildos are designed for strap-on style sex without a harness
Strapless dildos are designed for strap-on style sex without a harness

Strapless Strap-Ons offer a different way to enjoy strap-on sex.

They require no harness but strong PC muscles to operate!

A strapless is better suited to close, intimate ‘grinding-together’ than wild thrusting

Read More:


Remember – Lube Enhances All Play!

Sh! Lube £10 - Available in Hybrid, Paraben-free and Anal formulars
Sh! Lube £10 – Available in Hybrid, Paraben-free and Anal formulars

Once you have chosen your toys, remember to add lube.

It enhances all erotic play, reduces friction and making everything you do super-sensual, whether with a lover or solo, using sex toys, hands or body to body. We promise you wont regret it!

Read More:

 

 

love balls advice

Fifty Shades of Grey Silver Balls

FSOG
FSOG Silver Balls £25

If you’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey, you’ll know all about the wonders of these silver balls, but now you can witness the desire first hand with the FSOG Official Pleasure Collection. Since the publication of the infamous books, love balls have quickly become one the fastest selling sex toys ever. At times during 2012, it seemed like Europe had entirely sold out!

Silver Balls for Exercise

It’s no surprise that the FSOG Silver Balls are on our bestseller list. From the moment we laid eyes on them, we fell in lust with these beautiful balls – as did the rest of the UK and further afield too.

These deliciously weighted silver balls are the perfect accompaniment for an evening in. At approximately 221g, they will certainly challenge you to squeeze those pelvic floor muscles.

We believe every woman should be doing her Kegel exercises, and there is no better way to work those PC muscles then with a set of love balls. It’s not just about preventing incontinence, or strengthening the vagina after childbirth (although these are both very important). It’s also about enhancing your orgasms, because a stronger PC muscle = stronger orgasms!

Silver Balls for Spanking

If you’re looking for something new to do with your love balls, why not try a good spanking? Pop them inside and make yourself comfortable – each thwack of the paddle or crop will vibrate and move the balls for sensational sensations.

Gussie Grips aka Elaine MIller

Gusset Gripping with Elaine Miller

Today we are chatting with Elaine Miller of Gussie Grip, because we want to learn more about how to best strengthen our pelvic floor muscles.

Elaine is a Chartered Physiotherapist, mother of three, stand up comic, and a woman of a certain age – who has taken what we should be doing, and adding what we like to do… and, it works a treat! So, tell us more, Elaine Miller!

What are pelvic floor exercises?

Your pelvic floor muscles’ job is to support your guts, control peeing/pooing and provide sexual function. Not necessarily in that order…

Stress incontinence is associated with loss of self esteem, depression and poor orgasm quality. Not necessarily in that order…

1:3 women aged 35-55, and half of women over 55 have continence issues, these are conservative estimates. So, you are not alone. This is a common problem, and can be easily treated.

Coughing, laughing, running, jumping, shouting, vomiting, and pregnancy all increase your intra-abdominal pressure. If your abdominal pressure exceeds the power your pelvic floor can generate – you’ll leak.

Risk factors include your family history, being overweight, pregnancy, multiple birth, vaginal delivery, assisted vaginal delivery, smoking, constipation, menopause. So, not having babies, or only having caesarean deliveries are NOT guarantees for a dry life.

Pelvic floor exercises are the most effective treatment for most cases of incontinence. However, you need to actually DO the exercises…follow me on twitter (@gussiegrips) for prompts – when I tweet, you twitch your twinkle).

The exercises are:

1. Hold for 10 secs – you should feel a “drop” when you relax

2. 10 quick flicks

3. Imagine you’ve got a lift in your fanjo – take it to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd floor. Then back down to the 2nd and 1st. Then relax.

Do that three times a day, every day, and your muscles will be in top condition.

Using a vibrator, or love balls, at the same time will help you identify the muscles – and will provide you with a “reward” for your efforts. There is a study that shows using “vaginal vibration therapy” once a day improves pelvic floor strength in women.

Remember, the exercises work – but only if you do them every single day. If using some equipment encourages you to comply…well, that’s a very good thing indeed.

However, if you have symptoms like: a lump/feeling like something is dropping out, pain during sex, pelvic pain, faecal incontinence, can’t use tampons, or you got to the loo more than 8 times a day or more than twice at night – see your GP or woman’s health physio.

www.gussetgrippers.weebly.com gussetgrippers@gmail.com @gussiegrips

love balls advice

Lelo Luna Mini Beads

Since the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon, the sales of all love balls have gone through the roof. But the pleasures of these jiggly little pelvic floor exercisers was known to us long before they rocked Ana’s world – we’ve been singing their praises for many years.

We stock a selection of excellent love balls, but  it’s the Lelo Luna Mini Beads that have really caught our eye this year.

Training for PC Muscles

Lelo Luna Mini Beads £33
Lelo Luna Mini Beads £33

These mini beads are a whole training kit for women serious about toning their PC muscles.The miniature-size (29mm diameter)  mean the Lelo Mini Luna Beads are perfect for those intimidated by the size of some larger love balls.

Unlike many love balls, which come in a singular set of two, the Lelo Luna Mini Beads are a set of four, including two lighter weights (28g) and two slightly heavier ones (37g). But don’t try to use them all at once; instead, pop two weights of your choice (light/light, light/heavy, heavy/heavy) into the silicone strap, before sliding it inside, adding a dash of water-based lube for extra slipperiness.

Stronger Orgasms

Strong PC muscles mean more powerful, intense orgasms – and who doesn’t want that? Love balls are great for strengthening the pelvic floor and enjoying some discreet stimulation throughout the day too.

Je Joue Ami Vaginal Balls Review

Je Joue Ami Vaginal Balls Review

Ever since falling for Je Joue’s MiMi vibrator I have become a huge fan of their well-made & well-thought out products.

Ami are another triumph for this innovative British sex toy company: a set of 3 stylish,  easy and practical to use vaginal/pelvic floor exercise weights  which really deliver on their promise.

Je Joue Ami
Je Joue Ami £45

Exercise Balls for Your PC Muscle

Like all Je Joue sex toys the Ami set comes in a gorgeous presentation box. Open it up and you’ll find three silicone vaginal exercise balls of different weights and sizes which allow you to do your PC workout to its fullest potential and at a pace you’re comfortable with.

Benefits of Using Vaginal Weights

Ami ball 1 is a single lighter weight ball with a moving weight inside that is suitable if you’re just starting out for the first time.

Ami ball 2 is a linked set of balls which is a bit heavier and contains a double moving weight – which also feels amazing- who said exercise couldn’t be fun?

Ami ball 3 is a slightly smaller and much heavier version of Ami ball 2, which really gives you an intense workout.

Inside the presentation box they also provide a great little booklet which contains advice on doing the exercises and offers a few ideas for them.

I have really found these exercise balls a total pleasure to use and feel that they are doing a great job in helping me keep my muscles in tip-top shape. Ami vaginal balls are a pleasure to use – I wish all exercise plans were this enjoyable!


Ben Wa Balls Review

Ben Wa Balls Review

Stringless Ben Wa Balls for Exercise

Whilst the Ben Wa Balls certainly provide a great work out, they made me feel a little worried I’d lose them inside myself as they are so small and without any string attachment.

Ben Wa Balls £10
Ben Wa Balls £10

The first time I used them, I didn’t use enough lube and one did go astray and resulted in a moment of panic. Of course it’s not possible to lose them inside oneself and after a few moments of comical jumping up and down on the spot, the second one fell out.

I’ve since used my Ben Wa balls with more lube and far more success, and find that whilst I don’t prefer them for PC exercise over other balls available (I use Je Joue Ami for this), I do enjoy Ben Wa balls for the fun-factor as it often turn into a comical game of ‘keep them from popping out’ whilst you get on with the housework.  

Using the Ben Wa balls amuse both me and my partner and I’m getting the added bonus of some exercise alongside all this too!