LOL-Word-Blog-POst

The LOL Word Comedy Night at Sh!

Like comedy? Like queer women?

Then you’ll love The LOL Word!

That’s right: your favourite LGBTQ+ women and non-binary comedians, The LOL Word, are descending upon London’s finest sex emporium Sh! for a night of raucous, inclusive, sex-positive and hilarious comedy.

Not only will you see the comedy scene’s finest award-winning queer talent, but you’ll also get to spend the evening surrounded by solid gold pure smut with 10% OFF ALL PRODUCTS for ticket holders!

Comedians for the night include the entire LOL Word originals (Chloe Petts, Jodie Mitchell, Shelf, and Chloe Green) plus the most special of SPECIAL GUESTS…


Tickets are extremely limited so grab yours now to avoid disappointment!

Arrive at 6:30pm to start shopping with that sweet 10% DISCOUNT and the show starts at 7pm prompt.


So who are LOL then?

A bunch of best mates and accolade-brimming comedians, providing London, Manchester, Brighton, Edinburgh and beyond with the best LGBTQ+ comedy talent there is. Founded by Chloe Green, Jodie Mitchell, Chloe Petts and sketch duo Shelf, they pull together the very best talent the scene has to offer, to save you the faff. Previous line-ups have included Sofie Hagen, Fern Brady, Sophie Duker, Kemah Bob, Sarah Keyworth, Rosie Jones andmaaany more babes.

Shelf

Shelf are a comedy double act from South London.

Shelf is made up of Rachel WD and Ruby Clyde. Already lifelong friends, they started performing as Shelf in 2015. Shelf started out at open mic nights, honing a style that is “a winning hybrid of sketch show and standup” (Edfringe Review).

Since their formation, Shelf have performed at Bestival, London Pride, and been nominated for Sketchfest’s Best New Act award. Their work has appeared on BBC3 and LADBible. They are founding members of sell-out monthly night The LOL Word, which showcases queer women and non-binary comedians from across the London comedy circuit. They are board members of the cult hit Alternative Comedy Memorial Society, with whom they regularly perform in London and Edinburgh.

Shelf
The Skinny – “…cool and relevant”

Diva Magazine – “The talented twosome find belly laughs in heavyweight topics like mental health, sexuality and gender

The Broad UK – “What makes their show really stand out is the crackling chemistry between their on stage personae”

The Daily Info – “Everything they do is organic and fresh…the audience is given permission to join in with their friendship: they let us in to their lives, flaunting their flaws and thus showcasing their qualities. Their honesty encourages laughing along and their comic timing ensures it”

Bunbury Publishing – “The chemistry between Rachel and Ruby absolutely sparkled, from the writing to the performance, page to stage, everything feeds into each other perfectly. I will repeat, Shelf are going to be huge”

Scotsgay – “Lesbians”

Jodie Mitchell

Jodie-MitchellJodie Mitchell is a ‘blindingly obvious comedic talent’ (The Skinny) doing her best to simultaneously be as surreal and political as possible. In 2018, she was a ‘Funny Woman Awards’ Finalist, a ‘Leicester Square New Comedian of the Year’ Semi-Finalist, and shortlisted for the ‘BBC New Comedy Award’.  She has a hit comedy podcast, ‘Secret Dinosaur Cult’, which she co-hosts with Sofie Hagen, and is currently touring a new show as her male comedian alter-ego with the Drag King troupe ‘Pecs’, after a 5*, Offie-nominated, sell-out run at Soho Theatre. Jodie’s supported by Soho Theatre Young Company, and is a founding member of queer, all women and non-binary comedy collective ‘The Lol Word’.  If you’re her mate, then you laughed at her shouldering butchness to don a denim mini-skirt in BBC Scotland’s ‘Scotsquad’.

‘Jodie Mitchell…left me with actual tears of laughter running down my face’ – DIVA
‘[Her] set is so funny it makes all the comedy in my life up to this point redundant’ – Theatrebubble

Chloe Petts

Chloe Petts’ “inexhaustibly funny mind” (Diva Magazine) and “compelling presence” (Steve Bennett, Chortle) has established her as one of the most exciting new acts on the circuit.

Chloe-Petts
Chloe is an alumna of the prestigious Pleasance Comedy Reserve, has been shortlisted for the BBC Comedy Award, was a finalist in the most recent Leicester Square New Comedian of the Year Awards and came runner-up in the Funny Women Awards 2017.

She has appeared on Channel 4’s Random Acts and BBC 3 Quickies.

Chloe Green

Chloe-GreenChloe Green is a queer comedian who makes jokes about life as a Labour Party staffer and the patriarchy. Sounds like a misnomer? It’s Ms. Nomer, thanks very much.

When she takes time off from being a “f*cking delicate snowflake”, Chloe likes to make jokes. Because her job staffing Labour’s Twitter account and navigating the minefield of sexism and homophobia in politics is surprisingly funny. Sharp political commentary meets confessional storytelling as Chloe tells us what it’s like to be “out” on the inside of the UK’s weirdest workplace.

Chloe is a co-founder of queer comedy collective The LOL Word, which had a sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe 2018. She’s also a member of the Soho Theatre Young Company, was named one of the top lesbian and bi comedians to watch out for by Pink News in 2018, and was a Semi-Finalist in the BBC New Comedy Award 2018.

As seen on LADBible and Pink News, seen at Latitude, heard on BBC Radio 4 Extra.

“Smart, insightful, hilarious, and completely relatable” – DIVA magazine.

“a quickfire stream of jokes that bounce pleasingly around a wide field of crowd-winning topics” – Bechdel Theatre

About LOL Word:

The Guardian: “a new generation of comics retaliating against the old template of comedy”
DIVA: “Smart, insightful, hilarious, and completely relatable”
Sofie Hagen: “My favourite comedy night in London”
Bechdel Theatre: “THE night to go to”

Rosie-Wilby-Book-Event-at-Sh!

Is Monogamy Dead? Book Event with Rosie Wilby

Join us for an evening with award-winning comedian and Radio Diva host Rosie Wilby as she presents funny readings and unexpected discoveries from her non-fiction debut Is Monogamy Dead?

Hear about her sexual misadventures at the lesbian sauna and the results to her survey asking ‘what counts as cheating?’

Rosie Wilby SigningAfter a short talk and reading, Rosie will be taking questions about everything she’s learned from scientists, academics and polyamorous friends about new relationship structures and language, poly pitfalls, recent studies into female sexuality and desire and much, much more.

Signed copies of the book will be available on the night.

Is Monogamy Dead? follows Rosie’s TEDx talk, Radio 4 Four Thought essay and trilogy of comedy shows investigating love and relationships.

Join Us!

Follow Rosie on Twitter.

extravaganza-1

Sh! at the Planet London IWD Extravaganza

We are thrilled to announce our talk at the Planet Nation IWD Extravaganza on Sunday 11th March.

For one day, come along to Planet London’s fantastic community space for women & their guests. Enjoy the showcase of talent and diversity of the LBQ community, where access starts from free – and from there you can build your perfect day. Try something new, find out what the LBQ community in London has to offer, perhaps even meet new people outside of your current social circles!

This amazing day offers:

1 venue, 6 rooms, and more than 20 different activities from over 40 amazing cis & Trans LBQ women and non-binary people within our community!

IWD


Date: Sunday 11th March 2018

Time: IWD Extravaganza – 1pm – 2am

Time: Sh! Talk: 7.30-8.30pm

Venue: The Bedford, 77 Bedford Hill, Balham, London SW12 9HD

Entry Policy: Women & Guests

Event Cost: From £0 upwards – pay per activity you are interested in only

Ticket Availability: In advance only

Accessibility: Accessible toilet


Let’s Talk Pleasure!

Activities_ShOur talk will take place in the Green Room at 7.30pm. We’ll talk female anatomy, feel & taste our way through a selection of lubes (we’ll invite guests to join us!) before sharing our best tips & tricks for choosing and using sex toys.

Also, we’ll set aside some time to take sex-related questions from the audience after our talk.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Ticket Prices: Early Bird = £3 | Standard = £5 | Late = £7

For full line up, please visit the Rainbow Society Website.

Keep up with the event via #IWDextravaganza + #RainbowSociety

 

 

plane

Creative Juices: Flora’s African Exploits

Today we welcome Flora Titian to Creative Juices! Flora has generously offered us all two free chapters of her second erotic novel in the Flora series. The chapters are juicy and suggestive, and highly enjoyable… *wink*

For more of Flora Titian and her writing, head over to her blog at www.thevelvetpurse.com.  Follow Flora on Twitter: @thevelvetpurse.

Chapter 1

I love airports, well actually I love travelling in whatever form it takes.  In my experience, and I believe I have travelled enough to be able to profess to have some, the journey can be even more interesting and exciting than the destination. It seems I always manage to meet someone who is willing to indulge my need to turn a mediocre voyage into an unforgettable adventure.  Take, for example, the time I took the ferry from Patras to Ancona; this had the possibility to be the dullest 24 hours of my life, instead, fate intervened and I got chatting to twins, Demetrius and Giorgos – funny, engaging and drop dead gorgeous .  Identical – in every way, as I later discovered – we decided to share a cabin, save some money, and have some fun.  Double trouble turned out to be doubly amazing and I was treated to orgasm after orgasm and shagged over and over again, until finally, even I, was begging to be allowed to go to sleep – as past lovers will attest, I never prioritise sleep over sex, but those boys were insatiable.  Thinking back that was a crazily intense journey, I was walking like a cowboy for about a week after docking in Italy, totally worth it though – kind of wish I had taken their telephone number or at least an address.

As I walk forward to the check-in desk I can’t keep the huge smile from my face, I am going to Africa, god, I am so excited right now.

“Good evening madam, passport please.”

Taking my passport out of my bag I glance up and find myself looking into the face of possibly one of the most stunningly attractive women I have ever seen.  Skin beautifully smooth and the colour of melted chocolate, her huge, dark, soulful, eyes are framed by long luscious lashes, with beautifully full lips completing the package – I freeze, passport in hand, mesmerised.  Aware that I am probably staring open mouthed, and no doubt blushing a deep red, I give myself a mental shake, look away and hold out my passport in her general direction.   Wow, she was amazing, I have to take another look; taking a breath I raise my head, only to have her eyes lock with mine and send a bolt of desire shooting straight down into my groin – okay, that was interesting, totally unexpected, but definitely interesting.  Still caught in her gaze I notice a smug smile playing across her mouth, this gorgeous creature is obviously well aware of the effect she has on other people, and I was proving to be no exception – urgh, I hate being predictable.

Now, I guess, if I had to put a label on it – which I don’t like to do – then I would refer to myself as heterosexual, and this is only because, up until now, it has been interactions with men that have got me hot and wet.  I have, however, never ruled out the possibility of having sex with a woman, in fact I have always thought it would be rather cool.  I mean I check women out all the time, who doesn’t, they are splendidly beautiful, but it’s more with admiration, or, yes I admit, sometimes jealousy; I might think wow she has got the most amazingly gorgeous long legs, or, oh my god I wish my tits were as big and perky as hers.  I have, however, never, had the thought – fuck me I would love to have that girl’s tongue lapping at my pussy – until today that is.

“You have beautiful eyes.”

Her voice brings me out of my reverie and she is looking at my passport – not a great shot of me if I am honest.

“Although I think they are even more beautiful in person.”

Staring directly at me I feel my stomach drop and don’t have a clue what to say next.  Come on Flora, think of some sexy, flirty, come back, show her what you are made of.

“Your eyes are very beautiful also.”

She snorts with laughter and I feel as though I have just failed some kind of test, gauche girl rather than worldly woman.

“Well thank you Flora, that is very sweet of you to say.  Flora, you look like the kind of girl who usually travels business class.”

It is now my turn to snort, business class, yeah right, my mom booked this ticket for me, so I am just relieved that they aren’t telling me I am travelling in the hold; not that she can’t afford business class, just that she wouldn’t spend the money on me.

“An obvious oversight when booking the ticket I imagine.” She smiled and winked – wow great teeth as well. “I am upgrading you Flora, a gorgeous girl like you doesn’t belong in coach, you need to be relaxing and sipping champagne – with me attending to your every wish.”

Attending to my every wish. My heart starts beating quicker and I feel the flush return to my cheeks. My every wish – now that is definitely interesting.  I look down from her face and take in her white blouse, tightly stretched over impressively full breasts which are inadequately restrained by a lacy black bra, her pert nipples pushing enticingly out through the fabric. I know what I want to do, I want to run my fingers down from her throat, moving over her breasts and circling over those nipples, feeling them harden further under my touch. I want to slowly undue the buttons, enjoying revealing more of her, my fingers grazing her skin until I have opened her blouse fully, dragging it off her shoulders, I leave it halfway down her back; arms now effectively pinned against her sides I have full access and delight in pinching her nipples through the lace, my hands playing with each of her breasts, her groans of passion encouraging me.  Then, unable to wait any longer, bra straps would be dragged down to meet the blouse and her gorgeous tits, now fully exposed, would be mine for the taking.  Leaning forward and flicking her nipples with my tongue, emboldened by her moans I would take her breast deep into my mouth, alternating, first one and then the other, hands and tongue, hungrily feasting at will.

“He-llo”

A high pitched voice from the side jolts me out of my fantasy and I look across startled.  Wow, fascinating, long straight hair, dyed jet black, and pulled into a bun so tight it gave an instant face lift, green feline eyes are beautifully framed by long eyelashes, black eyeliner and perfectly sculpted brows, this boy has some serious makeup skills, and those huge, red, pouty lips could give Steve Tyler a run for his money; unfortunately, the fake tan shade, pure orangutan, was just hideous.

” Sweetie, I get that you, as mighty Cabin Crew, are only slumming it on check-in for today, but there is rather a long queue building.  If I get this flight off on time, I please the Captain, and oh god how I love to please him.” Winking suggestively at me I couldn’t help but snigger. “So please, stop cruising the passengers and get a wiggle on babe.”

Seemingly unconcerned with the comments, not affording him a response, she leisurely attached the baggage tag to my case.  Holding out my boarding card and passport towards me, I reached out to take them, watching as her hand slid forward to touch mine.

“I very much look forward to seeing you on board Flora.”

No hint of a smile this time, her eyes held mine for what seemed like the longest of moments, and I felt my desire dripping out of me.  This woman had turned me on just by checking me in for a flight, what then would she be capable of at 30,000 feet armed with champagne and a hot sandwich – I was really rather keen to find out.

 

Chapter 2

 

Impatient to see her again, I distracted myself by wandering around the airport shops, trying on outrageously expensive sunglasses that I had no intention of buying, drinking endless Espressos, and finally ending up in Wetherspoons for a glass of wine and flirty banter with a rather raucous stag party.  Still ridiculously horny and very wet, I considered a quick trip to the bathroom, there was an hour until the gate opened, so more than enough time for an orgasm.  I found myself, however, in the unusual position of wanting to wait, to find out what she had planned for the flight; although for the life of me I couldn’t imagine how anything was going to be possible once we were on board, I mean planes were hardly suitable for private trysts, were they?

Sitting at the gate I suddenly felt insanely nervous, what if I had misconstrued the situation, what if she was just being friendly and I had wrongly interpreted the open warmth of an African personality, and presumed that it meant she fancied me; well, I was about to find out, wait finally over I joined the queue, eager, despite my fears, to get on board and see her again.  I found my place and marveled at how much room I had, business class was seriously the way to travel.  Unable to resist playing with the seat controls, I delighted in all the gadgets around me, and when my childlike excitement finally dissipated, I stared, absent-mindedly out of the window, a ground crew guy immediately catching my eye, fuck what a great arse – breath on my ear made me jump and I felt my body react as her perfume filled the air around me.

“How do you like your seat Flora?”

I turned my head towards her, her face inches from mine, oh those lips, so full and kissable, the urge to lean forward and snog her was overwhelming.  Several hours fantasising about what I wanted to do to her, and what I wanted her to do to me, had resulted in desire overriding all sense of appropriateness – of which, to be fair, I didn’t have much at the best of times.  Come on Flora, get a grip, you aren’t going to kiss this woman now, not with all these people walking past, reluctantly I moved slightly away and she stood back up into the aisle.

“Thank you so much for the upgrade, this is just the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, this seat is seriously amazing.”

“You are most welcome, I want you to be very happy and relaxed Flora, you have got a long night ahead of you.”

Leaning, once again, towards me, she placed her hand on my shoulder, her shirt falling forwards, giving me an unobstructed view of those glorious breasts; my breath caught as she slid her hand downwards from my shoulder, fingers grazing my nipple, before she slowly pulled away and stood up.  Panting and breathless with desire, my nipple tingled from her, albeit brief, touch, oh god I was totally at this woman’s mercy, completely in control of the situation she obviously had a plan of action, and I found this unbelievable hot.  Squirming in my seat, she stood there, staring at me, the intensity of her eyes on mine making me writhe with passion, desperate to be touched.  As if reading my mind she suddenly smiled at me.

“Soon Flora, very soon, I will give you what you want.”

Reaching up into the overhead locker she pulled something out and threw it into my lap, surprised I looked down, a denim skirt, what the hell? I looked back up and raised my eyebrows questioningly.

“It’s mine.  When the plane is in the air and the seat belt sign has been taken off, I want you to go to the bathroom in front of you, I want you to take off your jeans and knickers, and I want you to put this skirt on instead.  Can you do that for me Flora?”

All coherent thought now totally overridden by desire, I nodded, and she smiled.

“Thank you Flora, that will help me a great deal in making sure you have a very pleasurable flight.”

And with that, she was gone.

I didn’t see her again for the next half an hour and presumed she was busy helping other passengers and preparing for take-off.  Come on Captain Jack or whatever your name is, let’s get this bird in the air, the waiting was making me crazy.  Finally airborne, I sat, staring at the seat belt light, gripping the skirt tightly in both hands as though someone might come and take if off me, the ‘bing’ sent me flying out of my seat like a greyhound of out a trap and I dove into the bathroom and locked the door.

Staring back at me from the mirror was not the sexy goddess I had hoped to see, face flushed with lust, my hair looked like a birds nest from where I had been twisting strands around my fingers for the last few hours in frustration.  I splashed some water on my face and clawed through my hair, attempting to pull it back into some semblance of a style.  Needing to wee I pulled off my jeans and knickers and once finished I took my hand and pumped soap and water onto it, I wanted my pussy squeaky clean for the fun ahead.  Wow, it felt good to touch myself, god, I was burning hot and so wet, not wanting to wash away too much of my grool, I carefully patted myself dry and pulled on the skirt.  Fuck me it was short, I tried to get a look at the back to check my arse cheeks weren’t hanging out below the hem, but the tiny, blurry, mirror was hardly conducive for this and I had to give up.  Tugging it ineffectively down, conscious of my lack of underwear, I took a breath and let myself out of the bathroom, scurrying quickly back to my seat, jeans and knickers in hand.

So now what?  No sign of her.  The coolness of the cabin was chilling the wetness dripping out onto my thighs and making me even more aware of my state of undress.  Pulling my legs together I leant forward, hugging my knees with my arms.

“Flora.”

She was back, finally.

“I like your skirt.  Can you sit back please so that I can take a better look at it.”

Letting go of my knees I sat back into the seat and let her inspect me.

“It looks great on you, a perfect fit.”

Reaching forward she pulled at the hem as though examining the cloth, I gasped, her fingers now achingly close to my pussy, instinctively I opened my legs, desperate for her touch.  My eyes closed in anticipation of feeling her fingers on me, and I groaned in frustration when I felt her hand move away.  Looking up I was met with a smirk.

“It isn’t going to be quite that easy Flora.  There is something I need you to do for me first.”

What the hell was she on about now, if it wasn’t for desire clouding my brain I might have got irritated at the delay, lack of patience being a constant struggle for me – sighing, I nodded, fine, whatever she wanted, I was going to do it.

“I want you to walk along this aisle for me Flora, nice and slowly, and keep going all the way along until you reach the back of the plane.  And then, when you get there, I want you to go into the bathroom, I want you to stick two fingers into your pussy and get them dripping wet from your sexy grool, and then, I want you to walk back here to your seat where I will be waiting.”

Oh my fucking life, she can’t be serious, this skirt barely skims my arse, I know that now as when I sat down my bare skin hit the seat and I had to hold on to the front to keep from exposing my muff to everyone.  If I walk along the aisle anyone paying attention is going to be afforded glimpses of my bottom – if not more.  Fuck.  What to do?  From the way she is looking at me this is non-negotiable, and then what, this just ends here, oh no, no, no, no, I am way too turned on now, past the point of no return, I have to keep going.

I nod, and she moves to one side to let me out into the aisle in front of her.  I turn to face the back of the plane, hesitating at the sight of all those people I need to get past, in an hour or so they would all, probably, be asleep, but now they are still settling, looking around the cabin, bored and in need of distraction.  I jumped as I felt a tug on the back of the skirt, fingers grazed the cheeks of my arse, and her breasts pushed against my back as she leant towards me.

“Your arse is incredibly sexy Flora, this skirt is just the perfect length to show it off, I think many of your fellow passengers will watch you pass by with enthusiasm.”

Desperately turned on I pressed back as her fingers became more insistent, now stroking deeper and grazing my pubic hair, but falling, agonisingly short, of where I wanted them to go.  As the hand was removed I had the irrational urge to stamp my foot like an irate toddler.

“Now off you go, I will be watching, and waiting here for your return.  Don’t forget what I need you to do with your fingers, if you forget you will have to walk back again, I will be checking – oh, and don’t dry yourself off in the bathroom, I want to see the wetness dripping down your thighs.”

A slight shove from behind got my reticent feet moving and I started walking self consciously along the aisle, after a few paces I looked back over my shoulder and was afforded a wide smile and a nod of encouragement, swallowing, I turned back and carried on.

Talk about a walk of shame, keeping my gaze firmly on the ground, I could feel people’s eyes on me as I approached, the shortness of my attire, I am sure, eliciting a plethora of responses, shock, approval, desire, distaste; I cringed feeling people swivelling around in their seats as I passed, no doubt wanting to see if the back view was just as revealing.  Well they wouldn’t be disappointed, I could feel the hem of the skirt skimming my bottom about three quarters of the way down, so my arse was most definitely out for all to see.  After what seemed like an interminably long walk I finally reached the bathroom and plunged inside.  Leaning my back against the locked door, I released the breath that I hadn’t realised I was holding, Oh fucking hell, I have got to walk back again in a minute – what the hell have you got yourself into Flora?  Could I be arrested for indecent exposure, after all I was in public and, effectively, naked from the waist down?   Concerns aside I couldn’t help but admit that it was rather intoxicating, knowing she was watching and getting off on other people inspecting me as I passed – god I love a bit of kink.  Remembering my other task I move my fingers onto myself and am shocked at how wet I am, grool is literally dripping out of me onto my thighs, just as she foresaw it would – am I that easy to read?  Pushing two fingers deep inside, my slippery wetness allowed easy access, and I groaned, desperate to stroke my now pulsating, rock hard clit, but instead, eager to return, I removed my fingers and resisted the urge to dry off my legs  – okay, time for the long walk back.

Surprisingly, instead of mortification, the whisperings, this time, make me feel sexy and powerful; I am enjoying  people checking out my arse, and the thought that they might, also, be able to see my hot, wet, pussy makes it even more of a turn on.  She is standing there, waiting for me, and as I approach I can’t help but smile and raise my eyebrows, triumphant in my daring.  She nods towards the seat and I collapse down into it, now what?

“Well done Flora, you did amazingly well, you had lots of admiring glances, and many people desire you now.  But they can only look, they can’t have you, you are mine, do you understand?”

Oh this is seriously sexy, I nod my consent, my breathing now shallow and fast, as feel my passion growing exponentially.

“Now did you do the other thing I asked you to do?  Did you put your fingers inside your pussy for me Flora?”

I nod, and she holds out a hand towards me; hesitating for a moment, unsure, I then put my hand in hers and watch as she wipes my fingers under her nose.

“Mmmm, you smell good Flora, now I wonder how you taste?”

Eyes never leaving mine, her tongue slowly licked the wetness from my fingers, and then taking them deep into her mouth, she sucked hard, causing me to gasp as a new eruption of passion exploded within my groin, and had me dripping, unrestrainedly, onto the seat.  Oh my god, okay, whatever I have said before, I was wrong, this is officially the most erotic moment of my life – well, you know, so far.  Feeling myself tense, I wonder if I might actually be able to orgasm like this – now that would be a first – to cum without any actual stimulation to my pussy, I close my eyes, edging closer to climax, as her mouth and tongue continued to fuck my fingers.

My eyes fly open as she lets go of my hand, and I sit their panting, waiting for the next move. Pulling my skirt up towards my waist, I am fully exposed for her perusal.

“Open your legs a little more for me please.”

I moved my legs apart, moaning in frustration – just touch me already.  Her standing there, looking my pussy, was unbelievably sexy, my lips heavy with lust were clearly visible under my pubic hair, now soaking and sticky with grool.

“Look how wet and swollen you are, desperate to be touched I imagine?”

I nodded frantically, “Yes please, please, I need you to touch me.”

Smiling she released my skirt and stood up, leaving me still exposed, throbbing and aching to be stroked.

“You are not quite ready for that, yet, but it will happen soon, very soon, I promise.  Now I need to do some work, but I will be back with champagne for you, just relax Flora – all things come to those who wait.”

It was seriously all I could do not to scream, this was torture, exquisitely seductive torture, but torture nonetheless.

 


Feeling inspired to pen your own sex fantasy? If you’d like to submit a story to be published on the Sh! blog, please hop on over to this page for more info on Creative Juices.

Don’t Be Throwing Shade – It’s Pride!

Don’t Be Throwing Shade – It’s Pride!

It seems the recent heatwave has thrown everyone off their A-game, and crankiness is all around. Including right here at Sh! Towers.

We’ve got a bone to pick. (No, not a boner – your mind’s gone off in an entirely different direction!).

Not long ago, we found ourselves the midst of a group of newly-out, and not-yet-out women.

Rainbow Lips‘Out,’ if you’re not quite sure, is the term used when a LGBTQIA+ identified person has made their status known to family, friends, or colleagues – living openly, or partly openly as a gay, queer, pan, bi or trans person.

Also in the midst of this group happened to be a woman who has been out for a long time. Her lesbian identity is firmly established; her friends & family know about her sexual preferences, as do her boss and colleagues. She lives and works in a cosmopolitan city, surrounded by other LGBT-identifying people. One could argue that this makes her somewhat privileged – she is able to live her life in a way she feels is right for her.

Now, the woman in question had an excellent opportunity to be a source of information, sharing her knowledge of the hottest lez bars, cool communities and queer-friendly shops. She could have made a few new friends!

But this is not what she chose to do.

Instead, she chose to throw shade at the group of women, shaming them for being inexperienced newbies.

This upset us greatly.

Over the years, we have met many wonderful women who have come out in their later years, and it’s not unusual for these women to apologise for this.

Let’s ponder that for a moment – apologising for not having been an out & proud lesbian your whole life?  As if it is somehow shameful to discover or accept your true self once you’ve passed your 30’s….

As we evolve and grow, so do our desires.

rainbow rosesDesire can and does change – perhaps you’ve always been attracted to men, but one day another woman’s smile unexpectedly makes your heart skip a beat. Or the other way around – maybe you’ve been a proud carrier of a lesbian gold-card all your life, but suddenly a fit fella catches your eye and everything changes… It can happen. It does happen.

At Sh!, we know that sexuality is fluid and we celebrate all flavours of it.

Sometimes it is about the gender, sometimes it is about the individual.

Perhaps a person is not yet sure about their sexual status, perhaps they have only just started to come to terms with their sexuality or perhaps it is not safe for them to be openly gay. Any and all variations of those apply here – none of us have the right to judge and/or shame someone for not being as open, out and comfortable with it as we may be…

For Pride and beyond, don’t be throwing shade on the woman – or person – standing next to you. Instead, let’s celebrate all the shades and flavours that make each of us different and unique.

 

hamper_blogpost

WIN The Great British Lesbian Hamper worth £500+

A new month means a new competition and Girl! – do we have an AMAZING  giveaway for you this month…

Rainbow LipsAs #queerpioneers, we’ve dedicated the last 25 years (woop!) to #pleasuringlesbians (well, our products have – we’d have been waaaaay too busy to run a shop otherwise!) and we want to make Pride 2017 the biggest and bestest ever – celebrating queer identity & culture in all its magnificent rainbow-glory!

We’ve been so excited about this, but we’ve managed to keep mum – until now that is:

We are giving away a Hamper full of sex toys, worth over £500!

That’s right, people £500+ worth of sex toys for you (and a beau perhaps) to enjoy…

We’ve packed the Great British Lesbian Hamper full of anything and everything you could ever need – we want to give the winner the time of their life; sexy experiences to enjoy time and time again!

For a closer look at the goodies inside the Hamper, scroll past the giveaway (once you’ve entered, of course!) and prepare to be amazed…

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here’s a peek at what you’ll find in the Great British Lesbian Hamper:

Sh! Bliss G-spot Vibrator – with 7 setting to explore, you’ll be spoilt for choice! Velvety silicone covers the entire shaft and angled head, making Bliss very sensual to enjoy.

Sh! Waterproof Rabbit – our bestselling rabbit vibe with 12 thrilling settings to explore. If you adore clit stimulation this toy delivers. The cute rabbit ears hug the clitoris, delivering intense vibes to the sides rather than directly onto the tip…

Sh! Glass Pink Double Dildo – stunning dildo with solid ribs and bumps in all the right places. Leave it to cool down in the fridge or run under warm water for exquisite temperature play.

Womanizer Pro W500 – fun peppermint version of this bestselling sex toy with sucking sensations. 8 settings deliver stonking orgasm after stonking orgasm – Womanizer is every toy connoisseurs’ must-have!

Rocks-Off Finger Tingles Vibrator – turn your fingers into tantalising temptresses, ready to offer buzzing pleasure at the press of a button…

Dildo HeartsSh! Cupid 3 Rainbow Dildo – specially made for celebrating Pride 2017! 6 inches long, with a rounded head and curvy, tapered shaft (1.5 inch at widest) delivers a winning combination of perfect penetrative pleasure. Hand-poured by our Dildo Mistress right here in London.

Sh! Leather 2-Strap Dildo Harness – best-selling strap-on harness in soft, supple leather, regularly receives 5* customer reviews. This harness is sensual, practical, secure and very comfortable for all strap-on play. Choose between black, purple, baby pink, hot pink, baby blue or red.

Thigh Harness BlackSh! Thigh Strap-On Harness – handmade right here in London, this is an innovative alternative for strap-on play. the thigh harness straps a dildo to your leg to deliver thigh-humping penetrative pleasure to your lover…

Sh! Lube – two bottles of water-based and paraben-free Sh! Lube should be enough to see you through the rest of the Summer!

Sh! Small Silicone Butt Plug -smooth butt plug in small size suitable for beginners. Included is also a bottle of 25ml anal lube for comfy play.

Sh! Leather Blindfold – leather blindfold is gently padded and secured comfortably with an elasticated strap. Soft, sensuous and opaque (no peeping!). Handmade right here in London.

Sh! Wax Candles 3-Pack – handcrafted for sexy simplicity as well as safety, these dripping candles are specially designed to have a low burning temperature, offering enough heat for that unparalleled sensual sensation of hot wax, without burning the skin.

bondage-ropeSh! Bondage Tape – self-clinging tape, ideal for quick and easy bondage games. 20 meters of tape for playful fun – choose between red, pink or black.

Sh! Toy Cleaner – speedy, safe cleaning product that’s suitable for use with all sex toys and all sex toy materials. Ensures all your sex toys are clean, fresh and free from harmful bacteria every time you want to play.

Ostrich Feather – approximately 20″ long for stroking and playful tickling. Choose between black, red or purple.

The Art of Lesbian Lovemaking – an updated version of the lesbian Kama Sutra. 44 chapters full of insightful and inspiring tips and techniques, written and compiled by Rose Black & Lilly Gluck, founders of lesbiankamasutra.com.

Disclaimer: Your email address may be used by Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium for marketing purposes.

Good Luck!

Rainbow Roses

love is love image

It’s #NationalComingOutDay, share your stories

Hey friends,

Today is National Coming out day so we feel like sharing a few happy coming out stories, please add yours in the comments or tweet us @Shwomenstore.

 

I told my mom I’m bisexual when I was 15. I was super nervous, I was having a hard time accepting it myself. She looked at me and said, “I know.” To this day I have no idea how she knew before I did.

Simple and straightforward, with supportive parents. Was in the back garden with my step-dad, my parents already had an inkling I was gay, and we were talking about a family member’s relationship with someone, and we started talking about what I want in life, can’t even quite remember how the conversation went, but then he just turned around to me and said “You know, I reckon you’re about 80% gay, and 20% you’re not quite sure”. I just said, “Yep, you’re probably right”. I was 16 at the time. He just walked over to me, gave me a big hug and said “I am so proud of you. You’re the best son anyone could ask for.”

My two stories from coming out (context: I am bi)

  1. Came out to two mates of mine, to which one exclaimed “That’s so cool; you can get a hard from anyone!”
  2. Came out to another friend of mine, to which he replied “Wait, your tell me you like women as well?”

I’ve got good friends.

 

Our favourite:

 

I told my dad. He said “Oh, I know! You’ve always loved musical theatre and brunch!” Then he gave me a huge hug.

For the record, I’m a lesbian and those are all the wrong stereotypes ( I do love them), but it made it very funny and much less nerve wracking to tell the rest of my family. Who were just like “yeah okay we know”.

Strap-On Sex For Lesbians

Strap-On Sex For Lesbians

Whilst we know strap-on sex isn’t for everyone, we want to highlight all the fun that can be had with strap-ons for those who of you who are interested in giving it a try. Using a strap-on is a learned skill – but we’re sure you’ll agree the time it takes to master is time well spent!

Why would you use a strap-on?

Well, there’s a simple answer to that: coz it’s fun!

A dildo worn in a strap-on creates a toy for any couple who enjoy penetrative sex together
A dildo worn in a strap-on creates a toy for any couple who enjoy penetrative sex together.

Using a strap-on is a magnificent way of getting close to and pleasuring your partner in a whole new way. Wearing a strap-on is super-sexy, and there is every possibility that the wearer may orgasm from the sensual rubbing of the harness against her labia and clit as she rocks and rolls against her partner.

Flipping the coin, the partner on the receiving end gets to enjoy pressure, thrusting and rocking, and may well orgasm from this stimulation too.

Bonus: both partners has hands free to play with nipples, clits or any other body part within easy reach!

A little bit of anatomy and biology is needed here: when a woman becomes aroused, the outer third of the vagina narrows and becomes tighter, whilst the inner two thirds balloons and ‘lifts’. This lifting effect can make the woman feel like she wants something inside, something that fills her. At this point it can feel fantastic to have something to squeeze against, like a finger or a dildo.

Squeezing the PC muscle around a dildo can help heighten arousal and likelihood of reaching orgasm, and the pressure of a dildo against the G-spot could potentially result in a wet orgasm. This is nothing to worry about – just put a towel on the bed and carry on coming!

Many women love having their cervix stimulated, and this is best done with the help of a longer toy. The C-spot has become a “thing” and we have a guide to the A-Z of Hot Spots if you fancy learning more about erogenous zones.

First things first: for strap-on sex, you’ll need a well-made harness.

Here are a few helpful tricks for choosing a harness for strap-on sex.

Choosing a harness may seem tricky – we know this from conversations with customers in our shop; there are so many different types to choose from! So therefore, we have put together a short handy guide to help you find one that’ll work for you.

2-strap harness
Adjustable 2-strap harness
  • Are you likely to share the harness?

If the answer is yes,  you need to choose an adjustable harness. The harness needs to fit the person with the wider hips; the other person can easily tighten the straps to make the harness fit them too.

  • Do you want to wear your harness under clothes?

If you want to be ready for action at a moments notice, Superman-style, a thong harness or a panty-style harness is for you. These types of harnesses can only be shared if you are the same size, otherwise the harness will be too small for one and too large for another. They are great for occasional use, but if you want to use your strap-on regularly, we’d suggest investing in an adjustable harness as they’ll work even if you put on a few pounds.

  • Do you have lovely curvaceous hips?

If you or your partner are curvy, we recommend getting a harness with a wider back as this will sit more comfortably over your nice upholstering. There are even harnesses with beautiful corset-features to choose from!

  • Do you want to wear a large, heavy dildo?

Choosing a harness with a wider back will offer more support for your tool. Wearing a slim-backed harness with a heavy dildo may cause what we like to call dildo-droop – i.e, the dildo will point downwards.

  • Have a bad back?

Opting for a thigh harness is your best option. Your girl can easily sit on your knee and rock her way to fantastic orgasms… Also, by wearing a thigh harness each, you can easily penetrate and pleasure each other simultaneously.

Once a harness has been chosen, it’s time to move on to choosing a dildo.

How to choose a dildo?

Freshly Made DildosChoosing the right size dildo may seem mind-boggling, but we have a few handy tips.

Always choose a silicone dildo. Silicone is hypoallergenic and non-porous, and by far the best material for sex toys. Silicone is easy to keep clean, it warms up to body temperature in no time and it feels pretty much like skin.

So that’s easy to remember. But what about choosing the right size?

  • How big?

Actually, a dildo doesn’t need to be big to feel great; a small-size dildo can be equally pleasurable. It depends on the desires of the person on the receiving end, and these should always be taken into account – even if the wearer fancies herself wearing a King Dong…

We measure toys in fingers, so if you know how many fingers feel “just right”, we can help you find a dildo that fits. Is it one finger? Or maybe two fingers? A whole fist? Consider this, and you’ll be well on your way to finding the best dildo for you.

  • What about shape and length?

Again, the person on the receiving end needs to have a say in this. Do they fancy a long dildo or a short dildo? A girthy one? A  dildo with a built-in clitoral stimulator perhaps? The great thing about dildos is that they come in so many shapes and sizes, and there is one that’ll fit your needs perfectly!

Choosing a dildo that is slightly longer usually works well – an inch or so will be lost once the dildo has been placed in the harness. Factor in space between the bodies too, and a short dildo may become too short.

  • Good vibrations!

Millions of women rely on vibration to get off,  and if you belong to this group, it’s well worth upgrading to a vibrating dildo. With our vibrating dildos, you’ll both feel the beneficial buzz: a small bullet vibe slips into the base of the dildo, quickly transforming it into a silicone love wand of magic proportions! The wearer will feel the thrills over her pubic area, and the receiver will feel the vibrations inside. Yum!

  • Do you want a dildo to enjoy too?

No problem – we’ve got you covered! A dildo accessory allows the wearer to enjoy the feeling of penetration during strap-on sex too. Choose a slightly shorter dildo as it’ll be tightly strapped to you – a long dildo may be uncomfortable. The dildo accessory is also a great option if the wearer wants vibration, but the receiving partner doesn’t fancy it.

If you feel inspired and thinking about buying your first strap-on kit, we have a great selection on our website. Also, if you find yourself in East London, you may want to come along to one of our fun strap-on sex erotic classes – not only will we help you choose a strap-on, but we’ll serve bubbly and cup cakes too!

P.S: Don’t forget about the lube. Adding a drizzle of a lovely water-based lube to the strap-on dildo will only enhance and heighten the experience!

Sh! Wins Best LBQ Business Award at Planet London Awards.

Sh! Wins Best LBQ Business Award at Planet London Awards.

We are so honoured to have won Best LBQ Business Award at the Planet London Awards.

The awards have been running since 2013 and exist to celebrate  the hard work of  grass roots event organisers and community businesses who are committed to improving the lesbian, bi and queer scene.  This year almost 4,000 women cast 47,523 votes to decide the winners across the 40 categories.

We beat some strong competition in the form of Barberette, Pink Lobster Dating, Pretty Pink Pearl, Square Peg Media and That’s the Spot.

Our own Kate Frank was there to pick up the award for the Sh! team. She gives us her thoughts on the night:

“It was an absolutely fabulous night, well… late afternoon!

Broadway Theatre was full of empowered, inspiring women. I was sitting there, in full #powerlesbian mode, next to Sarah Waters! (Yes, I was fangirling hard, as was everyone else in the room – reading ‘Fingersmith’ in my early teens  was a major sexual identity breakthrough).

I was amazed by the supportive and warm atmosphere. Katie and Naomi did wonderful job, not only by inviting such an inspiring
crowd but also by creating a fun yet professional event. I was surprised and flustered when Sh! was called to collect an award for the most inspiring business serving the Lesbian, Bi Queer & Questioning community. I thanked everyone on behalf of the whole Team Sh! and invited everyone to join us for a Spank You Very Much Class.

Every day we are working hard at Sh! to create an empowered and safe space for women to explore their sexuality.  Such a rare and precious space is worth protecting.  It is one of the few sex education platforms that not only sprung from the queer community, but has many LBQ staff and continues to base its practices on the experiences and life stories that queer women share with us.

Working in a family-like, women orientated small business that has been focused on sexually empowering women since the 90s’ (some of our Team Sh! girls are younger than our shop!) is one of the best jobs a girl in London can have. That’s why I am always dying to talk about Sh! to anyone who would like to listen… and on that night I had a full room of gorgeous, powerful LBQ women who were very eager to let me do so.”

The nights other awesome winners were:

ARTS AND CULTURE

Independent Author – Kiki Archer

Publishing House Author – Sarah Waters

LBQ Book  – Too Late I Love You by Kiki Archer

International Festival – Pride In London

LBQ Comedian – Rosie Wilby

LBQ Live Performance Event – Coming Out of my Box by Emma Stroud

Musician – Solo Artist – Lucy Spraggan

Musician – Group/Band – Playing House

Live Performance Performer – MIRI

Recorded Performance Performer – Lucy Spraggan

AWARENESS AND PROMOTION

Voluntary/Community Project – Love Human Rights

Journalist – Katie Bennett-Hall

Photographer/Videographer – Laura Dixon

Local Network/Forum – Gay Women’s Network

Best/most effective LBQ focussed politician – Sandi Toksvig

POSITIVE WOMEN

Role Model – Rosie Spaughton

LBQ Blogger/Vlogger Rose Ellen Dix

Volunteer – Sarah Lavender

MEDIA

Radio Show or Podcast – The Girls Hour

Web series – She’s in London

Independent Film – Crazy Bitches

Short Film – Life in Colors

Media Outlet (online or print) – Diva Magazine

SCENE: LONDON

DJ – Carmen London

Inclusive event – Project X

LBQ friendly space –  SHE Soho

Event organiser – Nikki Chubb

Bar staff  – Bex Smith and Cressida Lawlor

Security staff – Anna Georgiou, Pinx Security

Most Creative Space or Event – Sink the Pink

SCENE: BRIGHTON

DJ – DJ Lady Lola

LBQ friendly space – Diva Cafe

Most Creative Space or Event – Brighton Pride

SOCIAL AND COMMUNITY

Social Group Organiser – Jennifer Lorrimer, LezBeSocial

Social Group – Lesbian Book Readers Club

Dating/Network Service – HER App

Corporate Network – Freshfields LGBT Network

 

 

 

Sapphic Evening

Lesbian Shopping Event | 3rd Dec | 6-8pm | Free!

We’re looking forward to an evening of sexy shopping on Thursday 3rd December, 6-8pm. There’ll be chilled bubbles, warmed mince pies and pretty gift wrapping on offer, as well as a buzzy li’l gift for your good selves!

Whilst this evening is a celebration thrown together for our Sapphic sisters, it does not exclude anyone who identifies differently; as long as you’re happy to soak up the Christmas spirit, we’ll be delighted to see you!

What to expect? Well, there’ll be good discounts on our own brand strap-ons (they are the best, after all), we’ll add a FREE bottle of lube if you spend £50 (easy, in a lovely shop like ours), and  we’ll throw in a FREE rechargeable vibrator for any customer spending over £100. Actually, let’s go the whole hog – we’ll even play some seasonally appropriate music so you can sing along!

Don’t miss our evening of gals-only fun – join us in store for a glass of fizz on Thursday 3rd December, 6-8pm!