This question, and many more, we are sure, will be asked when Elaine Miller aka Gussie Grips joins us for an evening of talking frisky foofs, leaky muffs and strong orgasms on Friday 22nd September!
We have it on good authority there’ll be pin-the-clit-on-the-vulva and draw-your-genitals as well as a couple of glasses bubbles, a cheeky cup cake and a bottle of lube to take home; an excellent and entertaining start to your weekend. So, gather your mates and …
Elaine is a physiotherapist, comedian, mother of three and recovered incontinent. Fresh from a sell out run at the Edinburgh Fringe, she’ll share the mysteries of your pelvic floor so you can laugh and not leak.
Show scientifically proven to improve orgasms*.
If this all rings a bell, you’ve probably heard her talk on Women’s Hour, Radio Scotland and seen on her on This Morning.
Being physically responsive to your first G-Spot orgasm means being really, REALLY turned on!
Starting out wielding your new G-Spot toy with grim determination will get you nowhere. The difference between “Oh! Wow!” success and “This is doing nothing…” disappointment is all about arousal, receptiveness and lots and lots (and lots more on top!) build up.
For many of us this will mean at least 30 minutes, if not an hour, of “foreplay” with your toy, before going G-Spotting!
For many women being responsive to G-Spot stimulation also means firing up the body AND the mind. Tease yourself into a state of pillow-chewing readiness with your fingers or toy, fire up your fantasies with a hot read like Nancy Fridays classic My Secret Garden, or perhaps a sexy DVD or porn-film, if you enjoy visuals.
Your clitoris and vagina will now be swollen, pumped full of blood and ready for action…
2: Be Mentally Responsive to G-Spot Sensations
To be responsive to your first G-Spot orgasm you have to get past the feeling that you are going to pee.
The same nerves that sends G-Spot sensations to the brain also sends messages from the bladder.
For many women a G-Spot orgasm is accompanied by a pleasurable gush of liquid; sometimes enough to hit walls and soak the bed! This is called female ejaculation or ‘squirting’.
Although this liquid is not urine (it’s actually similar to the fluid in male ejaculation – without the sperm obviously!) it is very easy to feel scared that it might be. Being scared makes you tense up, stop breathing and dash your chances of actually having a G-Spot orgasm.
Getting past this feeling is vital to a G-Spot orgasm. Visiting the loo, before you start and putting a towel underneath you during your G-Spot session are two practical ways you can so you can relax away from distracting worries about peeing the bed.
3: Be Firm with your G-Spot
Although we’re all individual with individual responses, there are some universal rules shared by most of us.
One is that our clitorises enjoy a lighter, subtle touch whereas our G-Spots cry out for much firmer stimulation.
So find a position you can comfortably satisfy your G-Spot’s need for this; on all fours or on your back with your legs drawn up to your chest are good positions to try.
Start putting lots of lubeon your G-spot toyand sliding it somewhere between 1-3 inches inside and pressing firmly, towards your tummy, with a little circular motion.
Some women find pressing down just above their pubic bone with their other hand increases G-Spot sensitivity.
Also try rubbing, in firm circular movements, around your urethra (where your pee comes out of) as some women find they can be externally stimulated to G-Spot orgasm here.
Whilst it all might feel swooningly pleasurable, tune in to your sweet spot that feels different; that’s it – you’vefound theG Spot!
Your body will tell you when to increase the pressure of the stimulation. Try pressing the toy deeper onto your G-Spot, moving it back and forth (in doing so quite firmly bumping your G-Spot) or a mixture of the two. Also try squeezing your PC muscle in rhythm with your G-Spot stimulation.
4: Enjoy your G-Spot Journey
Learning how to have a G-Spot orgasm is more usually a process of discovery that a moment of eureka, so it’s important not to get too hung up on the destination and enjoy the journey.
Identifying and enjoying this special spot maybe as much as you can hope for (and that’s a lot!) the first few times you try.
As you get used to the sensations, bigger and better things WILL come…
Be Open to Multiple Orgasms
Multiple orgasms are more likely to be G-Spot rather than clitoral.
The clitoris can become too sensitive to be touched soon after orgasm, whereas the G-Spot can take more stimulation soon after orgasm.
If you are lucky enough to experience the deep throbbing release of a G-Spot orgasm, it’s possible to enjoy more very soon after.
Keep stimulating your G-Spot throughout the orgasmic contractions, (usually between 5 – 10 seconds).
Once they subside, rest for a short period (about 20 seconds) and resume firm stimulation with your toy.
You may have another G-Spot orgasm quite quickly. You can keep going, stimulating throughout your orgasm and resting briefly as soon as they’re over (it can feel uncomfortable without the pause)…until you can take no more!
Female ejaculation, or ‘squirting’, is a gush of liquid that women can expel on the point of a G-Spot or internal orgasm.
Female ejaculation is most likely to happen when you are very turned on, at the peak of passion and usually at the receiving end of some pretty hearty G-Spot stimulation.
Some women do report ejaculating through clitoral stimulation alone, though this seems to be a lot less common.
For some women, squirting happens every time they have sex. For others, it’s a much rarer beast. Many haven’t experienced it and too many have stopped it happening altogether…
We have talked to hundreds of women who have felt intimidated by the sensations of squirting or so embarrassed that they have wet the bed that they don’t allow their bodies to go there in the first place or stop their bodies going there again.
When we explain all about female ejaculation, their relief is enormous and they often skip out of Sh!, newly informed and empowered.
It’s amazing in this day and age that female ejaculation is still shrouded in such mystery, but it’s not that difficult to understand.
Firstly women’s sexuality and sexual pleasure is so far down the medical establishments list of priorities, that there is precious little research on the matter.
Secondly, we learn to control our bodies from such an early age so as to NOT wet the bed, that letting go can be a tricky hurdle to get past.
Probably millions of women have tuned their bodies away from female ejaculation when it is actually one of the most sexually satisfying experiences a woman can have.
Why is female ejaculation the cause of so much anxiety? Why do we hold back when, if we learn to let go and female ejaculate it will send ourselves and our lovers wild with delight?
There are physical reasons why the stirrings of female ejaculation feels scarily close to the onset of an embarrassing case of incontinence.
The nerve that sends G-Spot sensations to the brain also broadcasts messages from the bladder and this is why the onset of female ejaculation can feel scarily similar to the urge to pee.
Female ejaculation has been clinically analysed and found definitely NOT to be urine. It is, in fact, an ejaculate “fluid” – like male ejaculate, but without the sperm.
Learn How to Squirt
There’s no sure-fire ‘this will definitely work for you’ instructions for learning how to female ejaculate, and it may be that not every woman is physically capable of it. Female sexuality is excitingly complex and it’s often as dependent on what is going on in our heads, as much as our bodies.
Going for a squirting orgasm with single-minded determination may well end in failure, so forget all that and simply enjoy the journey.
Here are our top tips to squirting success:
Arousal is top of the list in learning how to squirt – if you are not turned on enough, it’s likely not to happen.
Have a clitoral orgasm first to get you really aroused before going for the G-Spot.
A dab of G-Spot Gel will help stimulate bloodflow to the G spot; making it swell and become more sensitive.
Using your fingers initially means you can feel for the slightly different texture of the G-Spot and feel when it swells.
A G-Spot orgasm and female ejaculation is not likely to happen quickly. It can take a lot of time/patience which means fingers can tire. This is when a good G-Spot vibrator or the smooth, firm sensations delivered by a glass G-Spot dildo come into their own. It’s worth having one at hand…
If you are exploring your G-Spot/learning how to squirt with a lover, be vocal! It can be a very precise spot that feels very different (often triggering those feelings like you want to pee) and your partner needs to know when they’re hitting the right spot. Don’t be shy about saying ‘there!’
Worrying about taking a long time or stressing about not ‘getting there’ will inhibit your chances of success. If you are prone to having such worries pop into your head, try fantasing, or even watching some porn, to keep your mind focused.
Giving yourself permission to ‘let go’, or having your lover give it, is crucial. Try being vocal about this. Sometimes just hearing the words ‘go ahead drench the bed!’ is enough to make you squirt.
3 good positions for G-Spot stimulation and squirting success are:
She controls angle, thrust and speed. Perhaps try leaning back for more intense G-Spot stimulation?
Being on all-fours allows her to angle her hips for best G-Spot sensations.
On her Back:
Perhaps with pillows (and a towel!) under her bum – this elevates her to a good position for G-Spot stimulation.
Finally, it’s always good to read up and one of the best books on the subject is Female Ejaculation and the G Spot, by the high-priestess of squirting, Deborah Sundahl
We have twice had the pleasure of welcoming Deborah to teach erotic classes on the subject at Sh! and she and this book are a wealth of knowledge and come highly recommended.
We know from our experience talking to women in store that women have all sorts of secret and special squirting tips. If you have any of your own, please share – we, along with our visitors, would love to hear them.
Love Balls are weighted spheres, sometimes just a single ball but more commonly two, designed to designed to slip inside the vagina.
The weights inside the balls cause them to move around as you do, twirling around inside, in response to your movements, providing teasing and massaging sensations as well as a constant reminder of their presence.
Also known as ‘Love Eggs’ ‘Geisha Balls’ ‘Ben Wa Balls’ ‘Orgasm Balls and ‘Duotone Balls’, Love Balls seem to have a long history, rooted in Eastern/Taoist sexuality. They are believed to have originated in Japan to give men extra sensations during intercourse.
But women soon realised the sensual and exercising benefits of wearing them on their own…
More recently, Love Balls became famous in 2012 when they featured in Fifty Shades of Grey, and certainly the heroine Anastasia Steele loved them.
In terms of pleasure and stimulation, Love Balls seem to have fans and critics in equal measure. Some women swear to climaxing whilst dashing for the bus, whereas others tell us they found Love Balls about as stimulating as a tampon, ie they couldn’t really feel anything. Choosing the right size is key to getting a balance between having their massaging presence felt and prompting your body’s natural response to squeeze to keep them inside.
The most important thing to remember about Love Balls is that they require your movements be stimulating – they are not a toy to simply lie back and do nothing!
The 3 main of effects of Love Balls
Their constant small movements build a slow-burning arousal.
Your PC Muscles naturally contract to keep a grip, making them stronger – and a strong PC means stronger, longer, easier orgasms.
Worn during penetrative sex, love balls can deliver extra sensations & stimulation for both partners.
Which Love Balls should you choose?
Beginners should start with larger size balls, as these are the easiest to keep hold on to.
Their larger size also means their presence is most likely to be felt – larger balls are hardest to ignore!
As your PC Muscle develops and becomes stronger, you can move onto smaller, heavier balls, such as the Sh! Silicone Love Balls. Smaller and heavier means your PC muscle has to work harder to keep a grip.
The massaging sensations of Love Balls are usually enjoyed solo but you can use them during partner sex to add extra stimulation during penetration.
Our advice is to start with small balls, such as Ben Wa Balls, for intercourse, unless you and your partner are very different in size. Ben Wa balls are a lot smaller and heavier than most Love Balls.
In term of PC muscle exercise, these are the hardest to keep a grip upon.
Ben Wa Balls are not joined together by a cord, but don’t worry – non-corded Ben Wa Balls are designed to be so heavy that they will not “get lost” – to remove them, simply loosen your grip and gravity will take it’s course.
How to Insert Love Balls
Coating your Love Balls in water-based lube makes inserting them easier. Remember though, that the easier and slipperier they are to insert, the more they will be inclined to slide out!
Start by lying down, crooking one leg up and popping each Love Ball inside your vagina one at a time.
You could just try squeezing your PC Muscle against them, in this position ( perhaps adding a clitoral vibrator, if their presence has prompted a solo-sex mood!)
Once you’ve become accustomed to the feeling of Love Balls, it’s time to stand up and start moving around…
As you become more confident, you can try ‘wearing’ Love balls can during the day to spice up everyday tasks – the constant reminder of them inside can build and prolong arousal as well as be a thrilling secret only you know about…
…we’ll never forget the 3 female executives who came to Sh! to buy Love Balls to liven up their afternoon meetings!
However, you will want to be uber confident you can keep a grip on your balls, if you decide to step into the outside world whilst wearing them.
Love Balls for Kegals/PC muscle exercise
Having the balls inside makes you more aware of the squeezing action that is required to strengthen your PC and a well-toned PC can give you stronger, longer orgasms.
Simply ‘gripping’ action will help with kegal toning. For a more boot camp regime, please see our PC Muscle Exercise Guide
Thousands of women have explored the sensations love balls offer, gained a stronger PC muscle whilst they’ve been at it and subsequently experienced stronger or easier orgasms – a win-win situation if ever there was one.