The A – U of Orgasms; A-Spots, U-Spots, G-Spots and more…

The A – U of Orgasms; A-Spots, U-Spots, G-Spots and more…

So it’s not quite a full alphabet but this is your complete guide to everything from your A-Spot to your U-Spot, taking in the clitoris, G-Spot and Nipple Orgasms on the way…

The A-Spot

What is it?

The A-Spot (aka ‘anterior fornix erogenous zone’/ ‘AFE zone ‘ ) is a located at the deepest point of the vagina on the upper  wall, above your cervix, where the vagina begins to curve upwards.  That’s where the name comes from it’s your ‘anterior erogenous zone’. It’s been described as the ‘female degenerated prostate’ whatever exactly that means, but just think of it as a fun spot to explore. So basically it is right at the back of your vagina, beyond the G-Spt and above the cervix entrance. To explore, draw your legs in all the way and feel around a little, when you touch this spot you may feel an instant increase in lubrication along with possible  intense pleasure and contractions.

What do I do with it?

When touched the A-Spot can generate instant wetness, a session of A-Spot play can produce an orgasm that’s very similar to a G-Spot orgasm. If you have any problems with vaginal dryness this might be one to cultivate, as repeated stimulation is said to increase your levels of natural lubrication.

Toy of choice:

Because of where it’s situated the A-Spot can be a little hard to reach, unless you have long fingers. So we’d recommend using a long toy like this Swell vibrator (recently and enthusiastically reviewed by the lovely Emmeline Peaches). Try sitting with your legs pulled up against your body for maximum reach and full pleasure.


The Clitoris

What is it?

Well we hope you know what your clitoris is but if you’re not quite sure here’s a quick catch up. The clitoris is your most sensitive erogenous zone, it sits underneath your clitoral hood at the top of the labia, but the clitoris is a bit like an iceberg, it also extends below the surface. The clitoris is made up of erectile tissue so it will swell when you’re aroused.

What do I do with it?

Whatever you like! You can stimulate your clit with your fingers, a vibrator or a willing partner. If you’re new to clitoral stimulation we’d suggest exploring with a finger and some lubricant to gauge what you enjoy. Some people prefer direct stimulation, whilst others find that off-putting or even de-sensitising  and prefer stimulation to the sides of the clit. Everyone will have different preferences and that will affect which toy is right for you.

Toy of Choice

Vibrators can be one of the easiest ways to achieve a clitoral orgasm and, in general, vibrators with a ”higher pitched” vibration make for better clitoral toys and those with a lower, heavier, deeper vibration are better for penetration.

If you’re not keen on direct stimulation, a rabbit vibrator that stimulates the sides of your clit and has a range of vibrations to explore could be a good choice. If you have difficulty achieving clitoral orgasms you might want to try a wand massager; a study in 2008 found that over 93% of a group of 500 women who struggled to orgasm achieved The Big O with a Wand and the Betty Dodson Method.



The G-Spot

What is it?

Your G-Spot is probably the second most well known erogenous zone. It’s located a couple of inches inside your vagina on the anterior wall, so towards the front. If you feel around with a lubricated finger you should be able to locate a small patch that feels different in texture, slightly rougher than the smooth walls around it. It doesn’t feel like much now but once it’s swollen with arousal the G-Spot can deliver powerful orgasms.

What do I do with it?

We’d recommend being thoroughly aroused before you go near your G-Spot. Take as much time as you need to make sure you are thoroughly warmed up, you might also want to take a bathroom break before you settle down for some G-Spot exploration.

The same nerves that sends G-Spot sensations to the brain also sends messages from the bladder. For many women a G-Spot orgasm is accompanied by a pleasurable gush of liquid; sometimes enough to hit walls and soak the bed! This is called female ejaculation or ‘squirting’ and is not the same as urinating so don’t worry. But for peace of mind you might want to put a towel down and nip to the loo beforehand.

The G-Spot responds best to firm pressure, you can try applying pressure with two fingers or a toy. If you’re using your fingers try a firm ‘come here’ motion, you might want to try squatting or all fours, play around until you find a comfortable position. As always, remember to use lots of lube.

The G-Spot can also be a source of multiple orgasms, keep stimulating the G-Spot through your orgasm, then take a short, 20 second break, and resume stimulation. However, G-Spot orgasms can be hard work so, patience is key.

Toy of choice:

There are plenty of toys designed to stimulate your G-Spot, like a G-Spot Vibrator or to provide G-Spot and clitoral stimulation for the best of both worlds and maybe a ‘blended orgasm’. Something firm like a glass dildo can also work very well for the steady stimulation needed to achieve a G-Spot orgasm.


Nipple Orgasms

What are they?

Apparently Nipple orgasms are the most common type of orgasm after clitoral, which might come (no pun intended) as a surprise, considering that the G-Spot orgasm is more widely known. Your nipples are jam packed with nerve endings, even if you don’t experience nipple orgasms this is another erogenous zone you can explore and enjoy.

What do I do with them?

This is another one that’s wide open. It’s up to you! Do what feels good is the mantra of today (and every day, especially National Orgasm Day).

A good way to demonstrate what kind of stimulation you enjoy can be to try it out on a partner, squeezing, stroking, nibbling or licking can all feel good. Oral stimulation might be the best way to experiment with your nipples orgasmic capabilities, starting with a light touch and moving up to firm sucking. Other than that, play, explore, enjoy!

Toy of Choice

It’s  not all nipple clamps, there are all kinds of teasing sensations to savor. If you would like to explore nipple clamps you could try a vibrating option with just a soft pinch, enough to awaken never endings and start building sensations.

You could also try nipple suckers for some gentle but exciting stimulation. Cups softly attach around the nipple and areolas for a subtle sucking sensation.


The U-Spot

What is it?

This is another erogenous zone that you might not know much about. The U-Spot is located at the opening of the Urethra, that’s where the name comes from. Your urethra is where your pee comes out of. It’s located between your vaginal opening and the clitoris, towards the top. As always, get out some lube and have a feel around, this little spot fills with blood when you become aroused making it very sensitive to stimulation. It’s connected to a group of glands ‘Skene’s Glands’ that are thought to be similar to the male prostate and might be the source of ‘female ejaculation’, but more research is needed before we can say for sure.

What do I do with it?

Try exploring the area around your urethra with a lubed finger or a wet tongue. Stick to slow, delicate touches and find what feels good.

Toy of choice:

Here the best toy is a willing partner! The U-Spot responds best to a warm wet tongue although feel free to experiment with the content of your toy box and let us know the results!

unable to orgasm advice

Unable to Orgasm?

Being unable to orgasm is given the scary medical term of Anorgasmia, but we prefer to use “pre-orgasmic” instead – a  more proper definition and much more positive!  Anorgasmia may sound like something our of a Woody Allen film, but the inability (or seeming inability) to orgasm effects millions of women.

Anorgasmia, is then broken into two categories; primary (never had an orgasm at all)  or secondary (can’t orgasm, after being able to before) .

Becoming Orgasmic
Becoming Orgasmic £9.99

The most important thing is to know you are not alone. From magazines and movies, it may seem like everyone else is multi-orgasmic and having super-easy, wall to wall orgasms, but this honestly isn’t the case.

There’s all sorts of statistics bandied. 10% of women say they’ve never had an orgasm, from any kind of stimulation. We’d probably put this higher.

Around 70-80% of women don’t orgasm through intercourse alone.

The second thing to note is that whilst we have a word for it, it’s actually really difficult to describe what an orgasm feels like and it is certainly not a universal shared sensation- far from it! We’re all unique and that goes for the kind of stimulation we like and how our body responds to it.  Orgasm can vary from little peaks to crashing crescendos to a warm envelopment of satisfaction.

Satisfaction is the key word here.

However hard it maybe, it is best to take the focus off orgasm and put it onto pleasure, because pursuing orgasm as if it is the Holy Grail actually creates further problems, as disappointment is followed by frustration, lack of self esteem, lack of enthusiasm for sex and tension.

All these feelings that won’t help you to feel aroused and in that ready-to-orgasm state of relaxation in the first place!

The reality is that however much you may feel like you cannot reach climax, for the vast majority of women, learning to orgasm will be possible. But how?

Every year we advise 100’s of women who’ve told us they’ve never had an orgasm…

(And often they’ve come back to the store, beaming or written to us to tell us they now have!)

Masturbation is the key, because the full definition of Anorgasmia is the ‘inability to orgasm without adequate stimulation

We will always recommend pre-orgasmic women to get a vibrator. The intense stimulation that a vibrator delivers has helped thousands of women “get off” for the first time. We will talk through the different options and discuss how to choose a vibrator that suits them.

It can take a long time to get the ‘adequate’ stimulation to orgasm. and again every women is different. The average is said to be somewhere between 15-40 minutes – a wide window that’s only an an average, which means a lots of women take a lot longer!

Hands can tire (and minds can wander…) which is why the sustained stimulation of a vibrator can help.

Stressing about ‘taking too long’  is one of the most common barriers to orgasm. Over stimulation, where your clitoris either becomes  too sensitive to be touched or actually feels numb is another.

As most women’s orgasms are clitoral, this is the area to concentrate on first,  so we will primarily advise on choosing a clitoral vibrator and how to use it for clitoral pleasure.

Physical/practical pre-orgasmic questions to ask yourself:

  • Do I know where my erogenous zones like the clitoris and my G-Spot are?  Do I know which bits of myself do I most like being stimulated, which what kind of intensity and for how long…?
  • Am I worried about letting go in case I pee? Many women stop themselves orgasming because of this. As you become aroused , but it could be the onset of female ejaculation.
  • Have I ever tried exercising my PC Muscle? Learning to rhythmically squeeze this muscle can help women learn to orgasm
  • Do I tense up when near orgasm? – Many women do, but learning to breath deeply, rather than taking shallow breaths can help.
  • What would make me feel more relaxed when I’m masturbating or having sex?

We will also recommend a bottle of lube. 9/10 women say lube makes sex better. Making everything super wet downstairs feels incredibly sensual, as well as heightening sensations and ensuring it stays that way for as long as you need…

Along with lots of unpressured ‘me-time’ with their lube and vibrator ( ensuring no chance of interruptions and with the shower or music on, if worried about neighbours or family hearing…) the other thing we’ll recommend is to fantasise.

Learning to ‘be in the moment’ is key to female orgasm and fantasising is a great way making your mind be on sex ( rather than worries or distractions) which can help tip you over the edge.

My Secret Garden is a ground-breaking collection of women’s fantasies and we’ll often recommend this book also because it covers every kind of fantasy your could ever thing of, plus a lot more, so it’s a great resource for fantasy-material.

Reading other women’s deepest desires and wild imaginings can also be incredibly liberating.

Note:  If you’ve suffered any sexual assault. it does contain fantasies that could be triggers. In this instance, we’d always urge women to get help by contacting rape support.

In a world that teaches women to be the ‘givers’ rather than the ‘receivers’, that has been ignorant of female pleasure and anatomy for so long  and where the taboo of female masturbation is still rife, our focus and expertise is on the physicality of learning to orgasm.

And physically giving yourself a break from a single-minded quest for orgasm, whilst putting yourself on a dedicated journey of self-pleasure is the best first step, which has worked for the many many women we’ve advised…

But there  could also be environmental, psychological or medical factors that play a part, so…

Other questions to explore if you’re unable to orgasm;

  • Do I feel guilty about sex or have any negative feelings or attitudes towards sex?
  • Do I have a problem with my relationship – unresolved issues or dissatisfaction? Do I like the kind of sex I’m having with my partner? Do I feel embarrassed or nervous about what I’d like in case of rejection?
  • Have I got unresolved issues stemming from abuse or trauma?
  • Am I taking medication,  using recreational drugs or perhaps drinking too much? These may make lubrication more difficult or may interfere with arousal and ability to orgasm.
  • Have I been affected by any surgery, trauma or illness that may have altered my physical responses?
  • Am I the sort of person who always needs to be in control? Am I afraid of losing control?


If you think any of these issues maybe at the core of being unable to orgasm,  it maybe time to consult your doctor or get professional counseling.

Check out Net Doctor: Who to Contact for Sex Therapy.

Another good post from Net Doctor is: Are You Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm; A Guide for Women



advice reasons

5 Steps to a G-Spot Orgasm

1: Be Physically Responsive to G-Spot Pleasure

Being physically responsive to your first G-Spot orgasm means being really, REALLY turned on!

Starting out wielding your new G-Spot toy with grim determination will get you nowhere. The difference between “Oh! Wow!” success and “This is doing nothing…” disappointment is all about arousal, receptiveness and lots and lots (and lots more on top!) build up.

For many of us this will mean at least 30 minutes, if not an hour, of “foreplay” with your toy, before going G-Spotting!

For many women being responsive to G-Spot stimulation also means firing up the body AND the mind. Tease yourself into a state of pillow-chewing readiness with your fingers or toy, fire up your fantasies with a hot read like Nancy Fridays classic My Secret Garden, or perhaps a sexy DVD or porn-film, if you enjoy visuals.

Your clitoris and vagina will now be swollen, pumped full of blood and ready for action…


2: Be Mentally Responsive to G-Spot Sensations

To be responsive to your first G-Spot orgasm you have to get past the feeling that you are going to pee.

The same nerves that sends G-Spot sensations to the brain also sends messages from the bladder.

For many women a G-Spot orgasm is accompanied by a pleasurable gush of liquid; sometimes enough to hit walls and soak the bed! This is called female ejaculation or ‘squirting’.

Although this liquid is not urine (it’s actually similar to the fluid in male ejaculation – without the sperm obviously!) it is very easy to feel scared that it might be. Being scared makes you tense up, stop breathing and dash your chances of actually having a G-Spot orgasm.

Getting past this feeling is vital to a G-Spot orgasm. Visiting the loo, before you start and putting a towel underneath you during your G-Spot session are two practical ways you can so you can relax away from distracting worries about peeing the bed.


3: Be Firm with your G-Spot

Curved G-Spot Vibrator
Curved G-Spot Vibrator

Although we’re all individual with individual responses, there are some universal rules shared by most of us.

One is that our clitorises enjoy a lighter, subtle touch whereas our G-Spots cry out for much firmer stimulation.

So find a position you can comfortably satisfy your G-Spot’s need for this; on all fours or on your back with your legs drawn up to your chest are good positions to try.

Start putting lots of lube on your G-spot toy and sliding it somewhere between 1-3 inches  inside and pressing firmly, towards your tummy, with a little circular motion.

Some women find pressing down just above their pubic bone with their other hand increases G-Spot sensitivity.

Also try rubbing, in firm circular movements, around your urethra (where your pee comes out of) as  some women find they can be externally stimulated to  G-Spot orgasm here.

Whilst it all might feel swooningly pleasurable, tune in to your sweet spot that feels different; that’s it – you’ve found the G Spot!

Your body will tell you when to increase the pressure of the stimulation. Try pressing the toy deeper onto your G-Spot, moving it back and forth (in doing so quite firmly bumping your G-Spot) or a mixture of the two. Also try squeezing your PC muscle in rhythm with your G-Spot stimulation.


4: Enjoy your G-Spot Journey

Learning how to have a G-Spot orgasm is more usually a process of discovery that a moment of eureka, so it’s important not to get too hung up on the destination and enjoy the journey.

Identifying and enjoying this special spot maybe as much as you can hope for (and that’s a lot!) the first few times you try.

As you get used to the sensations, bigger and better things WILL come…


Be Open to Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are more likely to be G-Spot rather than clitoral.

The clitoris can become too sensitive to be touched soon after orgasm, whereas the G-Spot can take more stimulation soon after orgasm.

If you are lucky enough to experience the deep throbbing release of a G-Spot orgasm, it’s possible to enjoy more very soon after.

Keep stimulating your G-Spot throughout the orgasmic contractions, (usually between 5 – 10 seconds).

Once they subside, rest for a short period (about 20 seconds) and resume firm stimulation with your toy.

You may have another G-Spot orgasm quite quickly. You can keep going, stimulating throughout your orgasm and resting briefly as soon as they’re over (it can feel uncomfortable without the pause)…until you can take no more!

Good luck!


Will a G-Spot Vibrator Find My G Spot?

Dear Sh!

I’ve heard about the G-Spot but have never found mine and I’m wondering if a G-Spot vibrator will find it for me?



[Names have been changed for anonymity] 


Hi Sue,

G-Spot vibrators don’t have built-in pleasure radars for instantly finding and satisfying your G-Spot – sorry!

There’s lots of disagreement and conflicting evidence about the G-Spot – check out the wiki page to see just how much doctors, scientists and researchers are tying themselves up in knots about it. ( grab a cuppa first because it’s quite a read!)

It’s great ( and about time!) that female anatomy, sexuality and pleasure is finally being researched but we have to remember that this is all incredibly recent – the internal clitoris wasn’t discovered until 1998 and it still took another 10 years before French doctors Odile Buisson and Pierre Foldes created the first three-dimensional sonography of the female pleasure system, which showed that the structure of the clitoris was a LOT larger than the external little pea most of us think of and actually it is mostly internal.

[To put this into perspective, the first sonography of the penis was conducted in the 1970’s]

After centuries of ignoring female pleasure and arousal in the medical world ( and millennium of desexualizing  it into female hysteria ) it seems the race is ON to make conclusive statements about our bodies and how they respond.

Whilst the hoo-haw rolls on, we prefer to go on our own evidence of chatting to 1,000’s of women over the years and conclude that whether or not the G-Spot is indeed a specific spot inside that produces a very different kind of orgasm or is actually part of the internal clitoris and thus basically a clitoral orgasm, is, in the end, immaterial.

You’ll see from the article that many medical & scientific peeps believe that the G-Spot is an imagined holy-grail of female pleasure that doesn’t actually exist. But this doesn’t tally with our experience or ’empirical research’! It seems to us that most ‘experts’ haven’t actually talked to women about their experiences, as we have.  Nor have they experienced G-Spot pleasure or the squirting, AKA female ejaculation associated with it…

Many ( we’d say most) women feel there is a certain area on the front wall of their vagina that feels a kind of ‘Oh! wow!’ very different to rest.  For some women this is every time, but for most it’s a very-hit and miss affair.

The real question is whether we all respond to G-Spot stimulation in the same way?

The answer is a very obvious no  ( we’re resisting putting a duh! here)  How turned-on we are, what kind of pressure or stimulation, whether we’re feeling safe and relaxed or anxious or hurried or a million other different factors…

The one thing we think we can say for certain is that the G-Spot is an elusive little beast and its awakening is very much dependent on how aroused you are, how firm the pressure it receives, for how long and how much you are able to relax into its sensations…

We’ve met lots of ‘medical experts’ ourselves who believe that the G-Spot is a myth and we’ve had many a passionate debate about it.

We believe that it’s more than likely that all/most women do have the capacity to orgasm from inside, but whether the orgasm is coming from their G-Spot or internal clitoris, who knows…

And it the end, does it matter what it’s called?

The place where we agree with many experts is that no woman should feel inadequate or a failure because she doesn’t spontaneously combust at the stimulation of any pleasure spot.

Finding your G spot should be a pleasurable journey of sensations

…with meanderings off the path as your passion dictates, not a single-minded search without deviation.

Taking yourself on any journey of sexual discovery is worthwhile ( in fact highly recommended!) but embarking with grim determination on a hunt for your G-Spot or becoming hung up on not finding it, nor having a G-Spot orgasm, certainly isn’t!

It’s also counter-productive, because, whilst orgasm may feel like a build-up of beautiful tension, being relaxed enough to be swamped by the build-up  is the key to female orgasm.

That’s why no toy can guarantee an orgasm, especially not a G-Spot orgasm!

G-Spot Vibrators are shaped, with either curved or bulbous heads, to make G-Spot for stimulation easier, but they don’t contain any radars or magical G-Spot awakening qualities…

They’re simply fabulous tools to add to the journey and may make discoveries easier…

Being receptive to G-Spot pleasure generally takes a long build-up, and using your fingers can be tiring.

All our vibrators for the G-spot feature the firm texture, extra reach and curved or swollen head which should make finding and massaging your G-Spot easier.

The G-Spot seems to respond better to pressure and motion than to vibration; A G-Spot vibrator offers you the option of adding a buzz, which your clitoris will likely enjoy, adding to your arousal and making everything swell and become more receptive…

(  if you are taking yourself on a G-Spot journey, it better to not allow yourself to orgasm, clitorally, if you can help it! )

Honey 3 silicone dildo £58
Honey 3 Silicone Dildo £58

There’s not a great deal of size options with G-Spot  vibes, so it’s also worth considering a  Silicone Dildo – with  over 30 different shapes and sizes our hand-poured range, they may offer you more bespoke and fulfilling choices than the vibes.


Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm

Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm; Separating the Good from the Bad

All our pleasure gels, whether designed to swell your G-Spot, make your clitoris more sensitive or enhance anal sex and pleasure, will gently stimulate you safely… but don’t expect miracles – no  pleasure gel will make your body hot if your mind is cold!

Simply slapping on a pleasure gel and clock-watching for the recommended activation time will not magically turn you into a hot-to-trot siren bursting with orgasms!

Fantasise, read some hot erotica, engage in some fabulous build-up whist the gel gets to work and you’ll feel the effects far more intensely…

Pleasure gels to enhance sex, arousal and orgasm – plus the ones that don’t!

Sexual enhancer creams, pleasure gels and sex sprays have been around a long time but we’ve rejected many of them as their ingredients often made us run for the shower, rather than to bed!

Some pleasure gels contain scary ingredients like loads of capsicum (the pepper family of plants – ouch!), menthol (brrr!) or lots of undisclosed, gloopy oil (an infection waiting to happen!).

Some pleasure gels and sex enhancer products make ridiculously wild claims like ‘guaranteed orgasm’ (sorry but no such thing!) and some are so deeply dodgy in their message, that they don’t even make it through to our vetting process…

Of the ones that do, we then test every pleasure gel / orgasm enhancer to ensure;

  • It actually does have a stimulating effect
  • Doesn’t mislead in it’s claims
  • Doesn’t irritate (or worse – sting!) delicate areas

If it passes the test, we’ll stock it on our shelves. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Our selected pleasure pleasure gels are more natural, using gentle ingredients and we even carry a pleasure enhancing range that is organic and vegan..

Pleasure gels to enhance female arousal and orgasm

The main active ingredient in our pleasure gels to enhance female orgasm is L-Arginine

This is a naturally occurring amino acid that increases blood flow by dilating blood vessels, making delicate genital tissue more sensitive and responsive.

Here’s the lowdown on the best pleasure gels to enhance female orgasm – the ones that made our shelves…

(note: use cautiously at first, just to check you’re not hyper-sensitive to any of the ingredients)

Tickle Her G Spot Pleasure Gel
Tickle Her G Spot Pleasure Gel £18


Tickle Her G- Spot Pleasure Gel. We were impressed when we tested it – and we weren’t wrong –  our customers give it rave 5* reviews:

‘The gel feels tingly and I could feel a pleasurable sensation spreading all over the area. As soon as we re-introduced the vibrator it felt sublime, my G-spot felt incredibly aroused without it being too intense’ 

This G-Spot Gel really does seem to work; swelling the G-Spot, or at least the general G-Spot area (pinpointing the elusive G Spot is often tricky) by increasing blood flow to it and making it more responsive.



Clitoral Pleasure Gel
Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel £11

Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel

This does the same thing to the clitoris, making blood flow to the area, enhancing sensation and awareness. It too receives great reviews;

‘ an almost immediate pleasant tingling sensation. It certainly enhances desire and I have difficulty climaxing so this is very useful for me’ 

As well as L’Arganine Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel contains Damiana, a natural aphrodisiac that increases clitoral sensitivity.


Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Stimulating Gel Tester £3
Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Stimulating Gel Tester £3


Both are available in tester sachetsso you can see how they work for you before investing in a larger bottle…






ON natural arousal oil
ON Natural Arousal Oil £15

On Arousal Oil 

A blend of oils and herbal extracts, this small 5ml bottle contains over 50 applications.

It delivers a ‘buzzing sensation’ to the clitoris – it’s not L’arginine, in this case, but Cinnamomum Cassie that delivers the focused warm,  tingling sensation.

It’s a natural arousal effect, without any harsh preservatives, parabens or artificial ingredients and we’ve found it safe and very effective. but  some people are hypersensitive to this natural ingredient.

We carry ON Arousal Oil Tester so you can see if it does the same for you.

ON Arousal Oil is only recommended for clitoral stimulation and it the only pleasure gel we stock that it NOT latex-safe so should NOT be used with condoms.


A word about vaginal tightening gels

One word – No!

Sorry ( but not sorry!) you won’t find these at Sh!

With names such as ‘Like a Virgin’ and ’18 Again’ and promising to make you feel ‘younger, tighter and sexier’ we think these products have seriously dodgy undertones. We’re into empowerment, not re-enforcing any insecurities that society gives us about  our vagjajays.

(Like we’d all like to go back to our teenage sexual years and sore inexperienced fumbles?  No thank you!)

However ‘natural’ the ingredients, Vaginal Tightening creams contain harsh astringents, which strikes us as something we wouldn’t want on our delicate downstairs bits. The effect is temporary, potentially irritating ( even scaring) and drying.

Plus if it shrinks, won’t it do the same to anything entering there, such as a penis!!?

Naturally elastic, the vagina is tightly folded most of the time but opens up during sexual arousal (and childbirth)

The best way to tighten the muscles around the vagina is by doing PC Muscle exercises and that’s what we;re sticking to, because it will also help with giving us stronger, easier orgasms, rather than a shrunken vag!



Enhancer Products for Anal Pleasure

Do we sell products that numb you bum?


There are lots on the market, many containing mild anaesthetic ( often Benzocaine or Lidocaine) and other de-sensitizing ingredients but we seriously caution you to stay away from them.

Pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop or at least slow down, a lot… Anal tissue is very delicate and easily torn and when it’s numbed, you cannot tell if any damage is being done.

If anal sex is painful, it’s generally for 2 reasons;

  1. Delicate anal tissue is being harmed
  2. When the body is resisting – it’s an involuntary tensing of the set of sphincture muscles that you cannot consciously relax. Relaxing anal muscles is key to pain-free anal-play

We also don’t get why being numb can in any way be pleasurable?

Surely sex is ALL about enhancing sensations, not about blocking them out..

Intimate Organics Anal Spray for Men with Lemongrass
Intimate Organics Anal Gel for Men with Lemongrass
Intimate Organics Anal Spray for Women with natural orange
Intimate Organics Anal Gel for Women with natural orange

So, instead of numbing, we carry an organic equivalent: Intimate Organics Anal Spray

All-natural ingredients in this anal gel simply and gently relax the anal  sphincter musclesfor easy penetration, allowing you to still be aware of all sensations.

As one reviewer says;

‘ This gel completely relaxes you, without any numbing at all so that you can just enjoy the sensation rather than worry about any pain, and it leaves a nice orange scent too!’

A word about numbing blow job or ‘deep throat’ sprays

advice blow jobBlow job and Deep Throat sprays all use local anesthetic to desensitize the mouth and ‘relax the the gag reflex’ to ‘reduce the discomfort associated with oral sex’

Oh gosh – no! The best ( worst!) example of the sex industry’s old-school exploitative ways and demotion of female pleasure; Lie back and think of England ladies and whilst you’re there, numb your throat, so you can take your man deeper – yum!

Basically a sore throat spray, marketed in a deeply un sex-positive way, we know for the men who choose to shop at Sh!, their women’s pleasure is paramount and numbing her, for their pleasure is  a deeply UN-sexy idea…

(Plus, practically – if it numbs the mouth, doesn’t it numb everything that goes in it??)

 A great blow-job is as much about a woman enjoying herself, as it is the man,  and we give Blow His Mind Erotic Classes in Fellatio to teach anatomy, tips and confidence-building to this (ahem) end!

Pleasure Gels for Men


Do we stock Spanish fly? Nope.  In it’s true form of dried out beetle bodies, it’s toxic and can be dangerous ( it works by stimulating the water passages in the bladder)

But we do stock an organic equivalent.

Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops
Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops

Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops 

100% natural ingredients, which include L-Arginine and Vitamin C.

Both these active ingredients have been shown to enhance erection and stamina.

Many pleasure enhancer preparations for men  work on male insecurities, rather than actual active ingredients, promising erections that are Bigger! Harder! Longer-lasting!

Long-suffering male friends and partners have helped us test many of these products… with many/most rejected.

stimul8 penis enlargement
Stimul8 Penis Enlargement Cream £15


Stimul8 Penis Enlargement Cream

This one got the thumbs up from our last man standing (ie the only one who didn’t refuse to do any more testing!).

The jury’s still out on whether this 100% organic pleasure gel actually enlarges penis over time, but the claim of better blood flow and expansion of erectile tissue in the penis did seem to please our tester. Over to you!