Q&A: Should I buy my daughter a sex toy?

Q&A: Should I buy my daughter a sex toy?

My daughter has been asking about getting her first dildo or vibrator. She is 13 and very mature intellectually, and I guess she is physically developing now as well. What would you advise? I’m happy that she came to me but I’m not sure what I think about this.  I know I started experimenting  around 13, and had certainly had my first orgasm by then. What do you think is an appropriate age for a first sex toy?

Thanks

Natalie

Hi Natalie

Many thanks for your email. It’s great to hear that you and daughter can speak so openly about sex, and that you are considering her request. We wish more parents felt able to speak openly about sex with their children (age-appropriately, of course).

There is no “right” age to buy a sex toy

It depends on the individual person, their maturity and their interest in self-exploration.

In this day and age, children mature far earlier, and with access to the internet and all it has to offer (good and bad), they are far more aware of sex at a younger age. It is great that you are talking to her about sex and that she has someone she feels comfortable coming to with her questions rather than relying on the internet.

You know yourself how young sexual awakening can be and ultimately we believe it’s best that responsible parents acknowledge this, rather than sweeping the idea under the carpet and leaving  their  teenagers to experiment away from home, with all the risk of abuse, pregnancy and STI’s that can bring.

There’s incredible pressure, these days, specifically on girls to perhaps go down routes they are not ready for…

If your daughter is telling you she’s ready to experiment with pleasure for herself, this has to be better than her feeling like she has to complete a sexual tick-list at school, doesn’t it?

One of our most memorable customers was a mother who brought her teenage daughter to Sh! Some may find this shocking but her responsible and loving parenting shone through. She left her mature, curious daughter to browse and ask us any questions and then stepped up to pay.  Her daughter had chosen ideal first toys with thoughtfulness and maturity and we felt honoured to be trusted with her blossoming sexuality.

Talking  about female pleasure, body-image and toys with your teenage daughter

 

Lube Sample Kit - 6 Different Lubricant Sachets £4As you are both open to the conversation, and if you haven’t already, it would be great to talk to your daughter about female pleasure.

It’s important for girls to know about their clitoris and the pleasure it’s designed to give them, to counteract the wrong messages about female pleasure they maybe getting from porn.

Ensuring your daughter has great body-image is also part of her education to set her in good stead for her sexual future; Perhaps look at The Great Wall of Vagina and other images of real women’s bodies, together ( rather than nipped and tucked porn stars that are awash on the net) so that she knows that all female bodies are different and equally beautiful, including her own..

Getting some fun lubes for her to try out could be a good way to start. Our sample kit offers six different lubes in sachets, and they can be used for exploration with fingers. This might be a way for her to start exploring that puts off decisions about sex toys.

If you do decide to buy her a toy, perhaps a small finger vibrator or vibrating bullet might be suitable? These can be used for exploration, but are not designed to go inside.

It’s a tricky one, deciding whether or not to buy your daughter a vibrator. Ultimately only you can decide if that is something she is ready for and that you are comfortable with.

If you have any other questions please contact us at advice@sh-womenstore, include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’ if you’d like your advice from our new sex and relationship expert.

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity.

Best of luck!

Team Sh! xx

Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.

Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.

Hi,

I have been happily married for 37 years but am currently undergoing couples sexual counselling. I am 58 yrs old, have only had one sexual partner and have never used any sex toys or vibrators. I have not had sex for 8-9 yrs and my counsellor has suggested that using a vibrator might be helpful as we try to reignite our physical relationship. I have looked on your site but do not know where to start. Advice would be really appreciated.

Thanks,

Penny

[All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity]

Hi Penny

Many thanks for your email!

A vibrator is a great way to help reignite sex drives that have taken a dive. And we agree – it can be really difficult to choose; there are so many different types…

Let’s see if we can break it down for you.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

Clitoral Vibrators

These vibes are usually small, but can still be very powerful. Their main use is to stimulate on and around the clitoris. They can be stroked, wiggled or just rested in place – try all of those moves to see what you like best.

The egg-shaped vibrator shown in the picture is called the Sh! Easy Egg, and is very popular with our customers. The vibe is covered in a sleeve with nodules on it, and these soft nodules offer extra stimulation. For women who need or like a harder vibration, the sleeve can easily be removed as and when.

 

G-spot Vibrators

These vibrators are designed for internal use (but they can also be used on the clitoris), and the built-in G-spot seeking curves will help find and stimulate the sensitive area just inside the vagina. It takes a while to coax the shy G-spot out, but it is definitely worth investing some time in exploring this area – you may find it creates fireworks!

For this, you could also try using a G-spot enhancing gel. The gel works by drawing blood to the G-spot, making it firmer, easier to find and much more sensitive to stimulation.

 

Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25
Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25

Rabbit Vibrators

Rabbit vibrators have got a lot going on: a shaft for internal pleasure and a clitoral simulator for external play at the same time. They look a little tricky to use, but actually, rabbit vibes take care of all your pleasure zones at once – all you need to do is lay back and relax!

Rabbit vibes are the most popular vibrators of all times – it’s a favourite sex toy in millions of bedrooms across the globe. Many, many, women say they’ve had their very first orgasm with the help of the cleverly-designed rabbit ears.

 

 

Discreet Vibrator £12 - Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration
Discreet Vibrator £12 – Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration

Choosing the Right Vibrator

Which ever style of vibrator you choose, we’d recommend a opting for a smaller-sized vibe for your first sex toy. It’s been some time since you last had penetrative sex, and it’s not impossible that the sensations will feel “odd” to start off with. Anything too girthy could feel uncomfortable and put you off further exploration. It’s better to go small, as you can always add lengthier or girthier toys when you feel more confident.

Something like our Sh! Discreet could be just the thing for you. This vibe is a tad bigger than an average-sized finger, and it can be used both on the clitoris and internally. It has only one speed, but it’s a really good one… This little marvel can be rested length-ways along the labia, or stroked around the clitoris and also inserted if and when you feel ready.

 

Add Lubrication

Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality - we highly recommend it!
Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality – we highly recommend it!

Adding lube is essential for any kind of  sex play.  At 58, your vaginal membranes will feel drier and tighter – this is normal and natural. To avoid chafing or tearing of sensitive areas, adding a generous drizzle of our Pure Plus lube will be very helpful. Pure Plus is thicker and adds a lovely padded layer on delicate membranes. It’s paraben-free, and it has no taste or scent – just very clean, lush lubricant for more comfortable sex.

(Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity)

If you have any other questions please contact us at advice@sh-womenstore, include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’ if you’d like your advice from our new sex and relationship expert.

Good luck and remember to have fun!

Love, Team Sh! xx

 

Beginners Guide to Buying first Strap On

Buying Your First Sex Toy

Are you boggled with choice? Overwhelmed by all the different types of sex toys available? Don’t know where to start?

It’s usual for first-time sex toy buyers to feel overwhelmed, but don’t give up!

Follow these simple tips to get started on your sex toy discovery…

For your first sex toy; Go with what you know…

If you are totally new to playing with sex toys, we advise you choose a toy that suits the kind of pleasure you enjoy best… or if you want to discover a new kind of pleasure, choose a toy that is dedicated to that pleasure area.

[We’re keeping this article quite simple, and concentrating on the main ‘never bought a toy before’ questions that arise in our London Store and the advice we give, but if a style of toy or pleasure centre isn’t covered, click here for all our My First Beginners Sex Toy Guides ]

  • Ask yourself: What do I enjoy or what am I looking to explore?

clitoris advice

Clitoral Pleasure:  If you particularly enjoy clitoral stimulation (and most women do!) ,  never had an orgasm or find they can be frustratingly hit-or-miss, a vibrator is the best first sex toy for you.

The majority of women buying their first sex toy at our London store will buy a vibrator for clitoral pleasure.

Each of our  vibrator pages has advice articles ( on the left hand side of the page) which will guide you through what to look for when choosing a particular style of  vibrator.

The most important thing to remember is that ANY vibrator, whatever it’s size or shape can be used for clitoral pleasure, so you don’t need to get too hung-up on size and shape at this stage.

Vibration is a whole new and different type of clitoral stimulation and one that many, MANY women love and it’s not uncommon for women to have their first orgasm with added vibration.

Clitoral and Bullets & Eggs Vibes are the place to head for dedicated clit-pleasing vibrators.

Read More:

 

G-Spot Advice
G-Spot Advice

Penetration/G-spot pleasure:  If you’re more into internal stimulation, or would like to explore it, your first toy needs to be a penetrative shape (rather than a smaller vibrator designed for external/clitoral pleasure)

If you are playing solo, we  would advise the best first toy for penetrative or G-spot pleasure is also a vibrator (rather than a dildo)  because it will also give you option of vibration.

Rabbit and G-Spot vibrators are the places to head…

Again,  these pages give advice on choosing each style of toy, which is useful for newbies and seasoned buyers alike.

Read More:

Beginners anal advice

Anal pleasure:  We don’t give many commands, but safe pleasure is when we get bossy! Exploring backdoor play,  means buying a  dedicated anal toy – ie one that is specially designed for anal pleasure, with a shape that prevents it disappearing inside and potentially getting lost.

An anal toy must have a wise base, handle or finger-ring so you can keep a firm grip on it.  As an area rich in delicious sensations, but also one that can be painful if not done correctly, exploring anal pleasure can be a bit of a tightrope walk, so we would highly recommend reading through all our anal advice  to ensure yours is all pleasure and no pain.

Read More:

  • Beginners Guide: My First Anal Toy

Don’t feel like you have to spend ££’s on your first sex toy.

Until you’ve tried a toy, it’s impossible to know what will give you a thrill – and because every woman is different, there’s no magic one-toy-suits-all.

Like an expensive face cream, spending a lot on a first sex toy can give unreasonable expectations of what it will deliver.

If you are new to the sensations of vibration, for instance, starting with a simple battery-operated one will give you a introduction to what a vibrator feels like.

And there’s no point going for the poshest anal  toy on the block if you are going to back away from it every time it comes out of the box!


 

For your first vibrator; Think the 3 S’s – Sound, Sensations & Simple!

Sound: As a first-time toy explorer, a vibrator that is too loud may put you off enjoying it fully.  As a newbie, enjoying a buzzing bedfellow for the first time,  can feel embarrassing, especially in a shared house where kids, parents or housemates might hear.  No vibrator is completely silent (use the filter on the vibrator pages to show you quiet vibrators ) then lock the door, put on some music and enjoy!

Sensations: Some women need really strong stimulation to get pleasure, whereas others find this kind of touch desensitizing or even sometimes painful. The best way to cover all bases is to choose a toy with many different speed settings so you can explore. On each product page , the Technical Info Tab tells you what your vibrator offers.

Simple: A toy that’s complicated to operate or one that requires you to read a 10 page manual before you start, may put you off. We recommend beginners should start with one that has simple, intuitive operation.  We’ve rated each of our toys as Easy/ Middling or Tricky ( but worth it!) and we advise your first toy should definitely be ‘easy’!


 

For penetrative first toys; Think small!

Until you know your perfect size,  it’s better to think small.  This isn’t a competition! A toy that is too big will feel more uncomfortable than sexy.

Length: With a penetrative toy, you can always control how deep it goes inside, so one that is too long is not necessarily a problem…

Width: A toy that is too wide for you is likely to feel intimidating, thus unpleasurable and unlikely to get many 2nd outings. Certainly there maybe times when we may want to upgrade ( though in our experience talking to customers, not half as many as size-jokes and porn films would have us believe!) but for a first-toy newbie, start slim.


 

Remember, your first sex toy needn’t be ‘The One’ !

This is just the beginning of your journey, so don’t get too hung up on finding your perfect sex toy.  We know that the biggest obstacle to buying your first sex toy can be because you’re overwhelmed by choice ( even though we’ve cherry-picked the best for you!)  but, like any adventure, it’s best to just take the plunge and find a starting point.

That’s why we recommend starting small, inexpensive and simple. then later, if you find you want something stronger / gentler /  larger, your first choice will point you in the right direction for when you want to upgrade.


couples sex toy advice

lesbian sex toys advice

6 Tips for Buying a First Sex Toy for Partner

  • If you’re buying a toy to use with a partner, especially if they are new to toys, read How to Introduce a Sex Toy  which gives advice on how to bring up the conversation.
  • Partners can feel sensitive around sex toys, so it’s important to ensure that they feel included, and not replaced!
  • Browsing our website or visiting the Sh! store together is a great way to introduce the idea of sex toys to your relationship and it allows you to pick something you’d both like to try.
  • If you’re planning to surprise your partner, go for something playful and approachable.
  • If your partner is male, we would advise against introducing a first toy that is penetrative in shape as it can feel confusing (do you want to use it on him?!) or a criticism ( isn’t he enough for you?!)
  • A small external vibrator he too may enjoy or a cock-ring you can enjoy together during sex are both good first toys for playing with male partners.

Buying a first vibrator for a friend

6 Tips for Buying a First Vibrator for Friend

  • Buying a beginners vibe as a present can be THE best gift for a friend, especially if your friend might be shy about buying one for herself.
  • Receiving a first vibe as a present can help a friend discover new pleasures without feeling any embarrassment about having bought it for herself.
  • A first-toy gift should be fun and non-scary.
  • The Clitoral Appetizer Set contains everything needed to start enjoying a buzz all packed up in a gift box, ready to unwrap and enjoy…
  • We know of lots of women who recieved their first rabbit vibrator as a gift from a friend – to their eternal gratitude.
  • If you are giving a first vibrator or sex toy as a gift, only you know how is best to give it, but we’d never recommend making her unwrap it during a family dinner! Give sex toy gifts with the discretion they deserve!

 

If you have any questions or want advice on buying your first toy, please do Email Us or call us on 03333 444 005.

advice reasons

10 Reasons to Love Classic Vibrators

Many women choose a Classic Vibrator as their first toy. A Classic Vibe is very easy to use and its long, slim shape is closely associated with the word “vibrator”. It’s a successful design that has been loved and lusted over for several decades, and Classic Vibrators continue to be popular with women today.

Here are our Top 10 reasons to love Classic Vibrators:

1. Classic vibes have simple design

 

The most common design of a Classic Vibrator is straight, smooth and seamless with a tapered end for easy insertion, although newer designs can be somewhat fancier with patterns, ribbing and diamante details.

The tapered end and smooth shaft are especially good if you are experiencing problems surrounding penetration, and this is the preferred shape for women using dilating kits to train their vaginal muscles to relax.

 

Vaginismus kit
Vaginismus kit – created for vaginal training / dilating from size-graded classic vibrators

 

2. Classic vibrators deliver strong stimulation

Classic vibrators may look like they ‘should’ be used for penetration but actually many women enjoy them solely for clitoral stimulation, Many classic vibes are  made from hard plastic sex toy material which  transmits vibrations more intensely than any other sex toy material. This extra power can be enough to push you over the edge and into orgasmic bliss.

For women who need a lot of stimulation in order to have an orgasm, a hard-plastic Classic Vibe would be a good choice.

RO 150 Slimline Classic Vibrator
Vibratos made from sleek, hard plastic which transmit vibration really effectively

 


 

3. Classic Vibes are great for G-Spot stimulation

A larger-size Classic Vibe, such as Silencer Vibrator can work wonders on your G-Spot. This toy is sizeable enough to render your G-spot helpless,  and unable to ‘get away” from the vibrations – i.e your G-Spot can’t help but become turned on!

The Silencer transmits a heavy throb, rather than a high-pitched buzz, and if you enjoy G-Spot play, this kind of buzz may be worth exploring.

As with any larger toy, make sure you feel very turned on before inserting or your experience maybe be more painful than pleasurable. The straight up & down shape of a classic vibe doesn’t follow the natural curve of the vaginal canal, so high arousal and lube is essential for a good time.

Silencer Vibe (£13) delivers strong, deep, rumbly vibration that your G-Spot may enjoy
Silencer Vibe (£13) delivers strong, deep, rumbly vibration that your G-Spot may enjoy..

 

 

4. Many classic Vibes are affordable and easy to run

Unlike smaller egg or bullet vibrators ( which often require tricky to handle watch-style batteries, which can cost a lot, over time) many battery-driven classic Vibes run on regular AA or AAA’s, so popping them in doesn’t require the dexterity of a magician and getting hold of fresh batteries couldn’t be more convenient – you can easily pick them up  in your local shop.

However, if you want to really look after your vibrator, we recommend using Sexy Batteries as they have been specially designed to look after the sometimes delicate motors of sex toys,  whilst still offering strong, long-lasting power.

sexybattery-aaa
Classic vibrators often run on AA & AAA batteries, which make them easy and affordable to power-up.

 

 

5. All Sh! Classic vibrators are phthalates-free, body-safe, easy to keep clean and store.

Many other sex toy retailers carry classic vibrators in Jelly/ PVC material, so in case your browsing other sites (;p), this is definitely something to consider when choosing a new vibrator, as toys made from porous materials, like Jelly/PVC will harbour germs and could possibly cause unpleasant bacterial infections.

Our classic vibe selection contains only body-safe toys, mostly in hard plastic and silicone. These are are non-porous materials, which means they are non-absorbent, so lube & bodily fluids are washed straight off, whether with an antibacterial sex toy cleaner or soap & water.

 

 

6. Classic vibes can offer deeper stimulation

Like deep penetration? You’re not alone. Some women find that their cervix is very sensitive and responsive to pleasurable stimulation, as is the the outer third of their vagina.  A Classic Vibrator can easily stimulate both these areas simultaneously, especially if you’re using a toy with a longer shaft.

RO 160 Classic Vibrator
RO 160 Classic Vibrator – 7 inches long for deeper pentration

Tip: Squeeze your PC muscle around the shaft whilst wiggling the vibrator for extra sensations.

 

7. The length of many classic vibrators are great for women with mobility restrictions

The longer shaft of Classic Vibrators makes them easy to hold and manoeuvre. This is especially good for people with mobility restrictions. Choosing a vibe with a longer, handle and a softer shaft can make it easier to stimulate hard-to-reach places.

Toys made from Silicone feel softer and warmer, as well as generally more flexible than similar toys made from hard plastic. A softer material can be beneficial if you find hard plastic too harsh on your delicate areas.

Lelo Liv Vibrator is easy to hold and operate...
Lelo Liv Vibrator is easy to hold and operate…

 

 

8. Long live the classic!

Look after your Classic Vibe well and you’ll have many an orgasmic experience to look forward to. Because many are simple and sleek in design, there’s often less to go wrong or break with a classic vibe.

However, cheaper plastic can crack if dropped onto a hard floor, so make sure your toy doesn’t get flung out of bed with wild abandon after playtime has ended! The more expensive toys made from ABS plastic are sturdier and unlikely to break if dropped.

Whilst you can get a good Classic Vibrator for under £20, it might be worth spending a little extra for excellent quality.

 

9. Men can enjoy classic vibrations too!

A Classic Vibe can be used on male partners too – slowly run the vibrator over the raphe (the long hump of skin on the back of the penis), or hold it against the fraenulum ( the underside of the penis, right at the base of the ‘head’ or ‘glans’ of the penis) or even against the outside of your cheek, for extra-exciting oral sex.

A Classic vibe can also be held against the perineum ( the super-sensitive strip of skin that runs between his balls and bum) for sensational buzzing that resonates through to the Prostate Gland.

Never use a Classic Vibe for insertion during anal play though as this could end badly ( as in an unfortunate trip to A&E!)  as the strong muscle inside the bum, may decide to grab hold of the toy and suck it in… It is always best to use a specially designed anal vibrator for backdoor play.

 

10. Classic Vibrators are much loved for the strong orgasms they can tease out.

A hard, focussed vibration can help bring on an orgasm from the most stubborn of clits and even if you are orgasmic at te drop of a hat, they can help you discover new ways to experience pleasure

If you normally dive right in, try swirling your vibe around the clitoris rather than apply the tapered end directly to the hyper-sensitive clitoral tip. Experiment with pressure and motion, and enjoy discovering new pleasure points.

Who knows, it might just lead to a sensational, earth-shattering climax!

 

Beginners Guide to Buying first Strap On

How To Choose A Vibrator

Choosing a vibrator is a very personal thing and what works for one woman, whether in shape, size, feel or even colour, may not work for the next.

With so many different styles of vibrators, let alone different materials and settings, we know it can feel a bit overwhelming trying to choose a vibrator, especially if it’s your first vibrator and have no idea what to look for…

So we’ve put together a simple guide, covering the basics for those starting out on their journey of vibrator discovery.

The 1st question to ask yourself is; ‘What do I want my vibrator mostly for…?

This is the most important starting point. Like a zen diagram, from here you’ll be able to whittle down or open up your possibilities…

It’s easy to get distracted by a pretty vibe but if it’s not designed to stimulate the bits of you, or your partner, that you would like to thrill, then it may not be the right toy for you. Just like the other kind of DIY 😉 finding the tool for the job is a good starting point.

The good news is that many vibrating toys can be pressed into action to stimulate lots of erogenous zones and are pretty versatile. Others, though, are ergonomically designed for a specific kind of stimulation and it’s these toys you need to look to, if you are looking for that kind of pleasure.

I’m looking for external/ clitoral pleasure – Which vibrator should I choose?

Clitoral vibrators are specially shaped to pleasure externally
Clitoral vibrators are specially shaped to pleasure externally

Did you know that for solo sessions (aka masturbation) most women (around 80%) play with their vibe on the outside only,  using it externally to pleasure their clitoris and vulva?

This is because most women need ( and enjoy!) clitoral stimulation to orgasm and clitoral O’s are the most common type of female orgasm.

If you’ve never had an orgasm or find them a bit hit-or-miss, we recommend the first type vibrator you choose should be for exploring clitoral pleasure.

We’ve selected our range of clitoral vibrators because they’re brilliantly shaped  or particularly fab at delivering external clitoral stimulation.

But the good news is that whatever their size or shape, ALL vibrators, can be used to pleasure your clitoris so feel free to choose ANY vibe, from any category, that catches your eye. Just because a vibrator is shaped for penetration, it doesn’t mean you have to use it that way…

Any toy that vibrates, whether pebble-shaped or 6 inches long, can be held against the external clitoral and vulval areas to tease these highly responsive spots.

So, if clitoral pleasure/orgasm is your goal, you have the choice of every vibrator we carry – Lucky you!

We’ve written more about how to choose a clitoral vibrator and how to use one  and we have a whole section giving advice about the clitoris so if you’d like to read more – head over there…

Small clitoral vibrators, the kind that are designed to lay-on the clitoral/vulval area, have the added advantage of being a good toy for introducing a vibrating toy to sex play with your partner, as they are not intimidating and, because they are not shaped for penetration, there can be no hurt feelings or bruised egos..

 

 

I’d like a vibrator for internal or G-Spot pleasure…

A toy with a curved and/or bulbous head can find the G Spot more easily
A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous head can find the G Spot more easily than a straight one…

If you’re looking to buy a vibrator for vaginal stimulation, including G-Spot play, choosing the right shape and size IS important.

Width is the vital statistic to get right as a toy that is too wide can feel more uncomfortable that pleasurable.

Length is less important as you can always control how deep inside it goes.

The best way to determine what’s a comfortable width for you is to experiment with fingers first; either your own or your lover’s. Don’t go in cold, though, as arousal is absolutely key to penetrative and G-Spot pleasure As you get really turned-on, blood-flow rushes to the area, your vagina balloons and your G-Spot swells, making everything more responsive to pleasure.

For most women this means at least 20 minutes of non-penetrative pleasure;  kissing, licking and teasing touches of nipples, lips ( upper and lower!) and clitoris; stroking thighs, squeezing buttocks tickling toes – whatever combination works for you and for however long you want it ( 20 minutes is only an average – many women will want, need and desire much longer…)

(BTW whilst ‘foreplay’ is the given term for the above, it isn’t one we like to use because it suggests that everything has to lead-up to, and end in intercourse, which isn’t the case and often doesn’t do women any orgasmic favours)

So, once you are well and truly turned-on ( and only if / when your body is crying out for something inside) delve into your vagina with fingers; Is one finger enough? Two? Three? More…?

Some women enjoy the feeling of ‘stretching’,  whilst for others it can be a sudden halt to arousal and feel too overwhelming to be enjoyable, so the important thing to remember is that there are NO rules or expectations, only what feels good for you.

After your session measure around the finger(s) that proved satisfying, form it into a circle and then measure across – this will give you the diameter of a comfortable toy for you. We measure the width of all our toys in diameter (as this is the easiest to imagine) and always at their widest point.

One of the most common questions we’re asked in-store is will a G-Spot vibrator find my G-Spot? Sorry, but the answer to that is there are, and can never be, any guarantees. How a woman responds to any kind of pleasure is unique to her. We’re not robots with guaranteed pleasure buttons and that’s something to be celebrated!

Look at smooth, classic vibrators, as well as specially curved G Spot vibes, as both ranges have been chosen for being the best at delivering internal/G-Spot pleasure, and remember that you don’t have to use them internally – they are simply shaped that way to give you the option…

I’d like a vibrator to pleasure both inside AND out – Which is the best choice for that?

A Rabbit Style vibrator features a shaft for penetration and an external arm to stimulate the clitoris
A Rabbit Style vibrator features a shaft for penetration and an external arm to stimulate the clitoris

For clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time, your best vibrator-choice is definitely a rabbit-style vibrator.

Featuring a shaft for internal pleasure and a vibrating clitoral stimulator, rabbit vibrators offer amazing dual stimulation, inside and out.

It’s the world’s most famous vibrator because it offers simultaneous pleasure that can lead to a ‘blended orgasm’. This kind of orgasm, exactly as the name suggests, is a heady mix of climatic pleasure that appears to come from both inside and out; a blend of clitoral and g-spot orgasms all at the same time!

 

Rabbit vibrators have given more women more pleasure and more orgasms than any other style of vibrator and we have a wealth of rabbit vibrator advice, from how to choose a rabbit vibrator and how to use your rabbit, right through to sex tips and tricks to get the most out of your rabbit, so head over here for more info…

One of the more surprising things we’ve learnt from chatting to women at our store is how many of tell us ‘it’s ALL about the bunnies ears!’ – it seems a LOT of women don’t always ( or ever) use the shaft portion of their rabbit vibes. A dual-stimulation vibe may seem to be the ‘bells and whistles’ of the vibrator-world, but actually lots of women enjoy purely clitoral stimulation from theirs.

So, when choosing a vibrator for masturbation, these are your 3 main choices; A toy for external/clitoral pleasure; One for internal/G-spot stimulation; One that does both!

Choosing an anal vibrator is a different story, as safety is very important…

Any sex toy for anal pleasure whether it vibrates or not, must be shaped in such a way that it cannot slip inside and get lost. It’s always best to buy a dedicated anal vibrator or prostate massageras they have been specially designed as sex toys for safe anal play, and, whilst many can be sterilized, we recommend it’s best for hygiene reasons, to keep any/all anal toys dedicated solely to backdoor play.

 

 

I can’t orgasm during intercouse with my partner – is there a vibrator for that?  

An intercourse vibrator is designed to be worn by the woman, and enjoyed by both partners...
An intercourse vibrator is designed to be worn by the woman, and enjoyed by both partners…
A vibrating cock ring is worn on his penis & delivers clitoral stimulation during sex
A vibrating cock ring is worn on his penis & delivers clitoral stimulation during sex

You’re not alone! In fact the vast majority of women ( around 70% of us) find it difficult or impossible to orgasm through penetration alone, needing added clitoral stimulation during intercourse to climax.

So, for adding a buzz during sex with your partner, take a look at vibrators for intercourse and cock rings that vibrate – both are specially designed to be worn by one partner during penetrative sex with their partner.

A vibrating cock-ring is worn by the man ( you don’t say!) at the base of his penis, with the bullet positioned so that it stimulates your clitoris during sex.

Intercourse vibrators, such as the world-famous, million-selling We-Vibe, are specially shaped for the women to wear; with the larger pad externally stimulating her clitoris, with the smaller pad nestling against her G-Spot, whilst still leaving room for her partner to slip inside, where they too will feel the vibrating stimulation.

Vibrating cock-rings are a cheaper option to add thrills, whilst intercourse vibes are quite an investment. We’re not all ‘one-size’, so whether they work for you can be quite a leap of faith…

Remember, too that any lay-on clitoral vibrator as well as bullet and egg vibes are discreet enough to add an extra buzz to intercouse, without getting in the way…

 

The next vibrator-choices are quite practical…

Once you’ve decided on what kind of pleasure you’d like your vibrator mostly for, the next things to consider are the practicals of your toy.  How would you like it to feel – Do you want it to feel soft and squishy or prefer something hard and sleek?

Do you think you’d enjoy an intense buzz or prefer something gentler? Is size important?

Vibrator Material:

Concerned by chemicals? Don’t worry. We won’t stock sex toys that contain phthalates ( a potentially dangerous chemical softener found in PVC/  Jelly Toys)

All our vibrators are safe, but they come in a range of materials which bring different qualities to the toy; check our guides to sex toy materials to discover the pros & cons of each.

Briefly, a hard plastic vibrator is usually more powerful (and less quiet) as vibration isn’t absorbed by the material. Nor will it absorb any lubricant or your natural juices, which makes it feel strong and sleek.

Softer vibrators made from Elastomer will feel less intense as the soft material absorbs some vibration (as well some sound and lubrication) but these kind of vibrators generally feel more user-friendly…

A silicone vibrator is probably the best you can buy. Silicone is safe, soft and transmits vibration well, whilst keeping noise transference to a minimum.

Vibrator Intensity:

Secret Vibrator £35
Secret Vibrator £35

We know this is difficult – if you don’t have any experience with vibrators, how on earth do you decide what kind of vibrator intensity you will prefer!

The best way is to think about the kind of manual stimulation you prefer; is it a soft, gentle touch or do you need firm/intense stimulation to orgasm?

Most vibrators offer various speeds (often with escalating & pulse options) but if you’ve never had an orgasm, find orgasms illusive or feel like you take “too long”,  we’d advise you choose a vibrator that is rated ‘Strong’ or ‘Wowser’, such as the Secret Vibe or Sh! Bullet.

For a super-sensitive clitoris,  look for a ‘Very Gentle’ or ‘Mild’ rating, such as the Flexi Wand vibrator.

On top speed, we assess each vibrators  and give them an intensity-rating of:

  1. Gentle
  2. Mild
  3. Strong
  4. Wowser- High Intense
  5. Wowser – Deep Throbby

Remember, a vibrator that feels too strong can always be toned-down by using it through your knickers or a piece of material, so if you have any doubts, we recommend a stronger intensity vibe over one that offers a gentle or mild vibe.

Vibrator Volume:

Everyone wants a totally silent vibe but unfortunately they don’t exist.  A vibrator has a motor & will always make some sound, however low.

You may need to forfeit power/functions for a really quiet or almost silent vibrator.

On top speed, we measure each vibrator with a sound meter and give them vibrator volume of;

  1. Extra Quiet / Almost Silent
  2. Quiet
  3. Medium
  4. Audible- But Worth It!

Size:

We measure toys ‘Actual Length‘ (full length of vibrator/sex toy – including battery case if its integral), and ‘Playable Length‘ (insertable bit).

Remember, just because a vibrator looks like it’s designed to go inside, it doesn’t mean you have to play with it like that!

If you do want a vibrator for penetration, you can always control how far to insert it, but one that’s too wide will always feel uncomfortable.

To assess the right fit, think how many fingers feel good for you.

It’s probably best to buy a vibe that’s a similar width, rather than being overwelmed by a vibrators girth and never getting it our to play.

If you are uneasy about penetration, start with a  slim vibrator and work your way up. Whilst browsing, have a ruler handy to give you an idea how long/wide a toy will be.

We list all important info such as vibrator material, dimensions, intensity, sound, as well as whether it is rechargeable or takes batteries etc on each product page.

Style:

Desire
Desire Vibrator £49

For most of us, how something looks is important. If it’s unattractive to you, a new vibrator may not be played with very often. Take a long, lusty look at each vibe and try to visualize playing it before you buy.

Each toy at Sh! is chosen because it’s good-looking, as well as practical and good quality, whatever it’s price range, but for top style, take a look at our luxury vibrators

How Your Vibe is Powered

Rechargeable or battery-powered? Each has it’s advantages.

A rechargeable vibrator is the greener alternative and means you’re not a slave to batteries  – no more raiding the TV remote-control of it’s batteries in the middle of the night!

But you do have to have access to a plug or USB port to fire up your vibe when it runs out of steam.

And you do have to forward-think/be organised. If you haven’t kept your vibe charged up, there’ll be a frustrating wait to use it…

Battery-powered vibrators, so long as you have batteries, can give you  instant gratification.

And battery-powered (so long as you have batteries!) toys can travel anywhere.

We hope this has helped whittle down which may be the best vibrator choice for you.

Remember, though, we’re here to give expert, tailored advice, whether in our London store, on the phone or by email, so do feel free to visit /contact us, if you’d like more help or some personalised recommendations – we’re really friendly, non-scary and unembarassable, we promise!

Q&A

Q&A: First Vibrator?

We recieved this email the other day from a customer wanting advice on choosing a vibrator for her first orgasm:

Dear Sh!

I’m 21 and have yet to have an orgasm. My mates tell me that trying a vibrator is a good idea, but there’s so many amazing sex toys out there I can’t pick one! What would you recommend as a first vibrator?

Cheers,

 

Hi there,

There’s a few things we can recommend to help you achieve your first orgasm.

First, trying out a vibe is a great idea!

Most women find continuous stimulation is needed to reach orgasm, and a vibe will keep buzzing long after fingers have become tired.

We have lost count of the amount of women who have told us they they achieved their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator

Secret Vibrator £35
Secret Vibrator £35

One of our favourite vibes is the Secret Vibe , which has multiple speeds and patterns, from a gentle hum right up to a very strong buzz, with escalating and throbbing functions too.

An egg-shaped vibe, like this,  delivers very precise stimulation of the clitoris, or  it can be used to explore the whole vulva area to discover what you prefer.

 

Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40
Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40

If penetration is something you enjoy, we’d suggest trying a rabbit vibrator  – there’s a very good reason why these rabbits have become the most famous and best-selling vibrators in the world!

It  combines a shaft for penetration and G-spot pleasure with the famous bunny rabbit ears.

Bunny ears make fantastic clit stimulators, as they sit snugly either side of the clitoris where most women are the most sensitive.

Clitoral Truth
Clitoral Truth £11.99

There are also some great books we can suggest for orgasmic self-discovery

The Clitoral Truth is a fantastic guide to the female body and highly recommended, especially for women who find orgasm elusive.

Fantasy is often key to learning how to orgasm.

It’s quite common for women not to be able to be, or stay, ‘in the moment’.

A hot sex scene, whether it’s your own in your head or from an erotic fantasy book or porn film may just tip you over the edge.

Finally, we’d suggest a little forward planning when trying out your toy for the first time. Pick an evening with nothing planned, switch off the phone, have a nice glass of wine, a luxurious bath, or whatever helps you to relax – then take your time and enjoy!

Hope this helps. Please do give us a shout with any more questions.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

How to use a g-Spot Vibrator

How to Use an Egg or Bullet Vibrator

A vibrating egg or bullet vibrator is much smaller than a standard vibrator, and specifically designed for clitoral stimulation, though, of course it will deliver its thrills anywhere it touches, so they are great for nipples, toes and men’s bits too!

( they are not ok for anal-play, though, as we explain later..)

Sh! Bullet Vibrator - £10 - Teeny, powerful and perfect for extra strong clitoral stimulation during sex
Sh! Bullet Vibrator (£10) Small, Strong, with a simple, single speed

Starting at just £10 with single, strong speed, bullets and eggs are some of the most affordable and easy to operate vibrators available.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.
Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

And because they are ALL about clitoral pleasure, bullets and eggs are often the kind we recommend as a beginners vibrator to women coming to our store for first orgasm advice.

Their discreet size also makes them a great couples toy and because they are purely external pleasure providers, there’s no chance of your partner feeling threatened or ‘replaced’ ( which can happen with more penetrative-shaped toys)

How to Use an Egg or Bullet Vibrator

Warning! Bullet and egg vibrators can be STRONG!

This is because of 2 reasons:

  1. Their petite proportions means the vibrations from the motor inside don’t have far to travel, making them bundles of buzzing jumping beans!
  2. They are often made of  plastic; a sex toy material that doesn’t absorb vibration ( like softer materials can) so a lot of power is transmitted, with super-efficiency, along its smooth, sleek surface.

This is great news if you need / enjoy intense stimulation but can  blow the socks of you, if you are new to vibration.

Everyone feels things differently, but if you are trying a vibrating egg or bullet vibrator for the first time, try approaching your clitoris from the side, starting on the gentlest vibrator setting.

Many women are most responsive to clitoral stimulation on the sides of their clitoris, rather than directly on it, which can actually feel too intense to be pleasurable and some women even find painful.

Imagining the clitoris as a clock-face,  this means 10-11am or 1-2pm on the ‘clit-face’ rather than high noon!

Explore the whole area, focusing on where it feels really good.

Sh! Secret Vibrator (£35) Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings
Sh! Secret Vibrator (£35) Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings

A really powerful vibrating egg, like the Sh! Secret, can be great for clit stimulation, especially if you can find it difficult to orgasm – we’ve recommended this vibrator to many pre-orgasmic women, who have since experienced their very first orgasm.

How to Hold an Egg or Bullet Vibrator

Holding a super-powerful egg-shaped or bullet vibrator can sometimes turn your fingers numb – we call this ‘getting vibrator-hand’. If this happens to you, simply nestle your vibe between your lady-lips, lie back and enjoy the vibrating sensations hands-free.

Or, if the sensation offered by your vibrating egg or bullet vibrator feels too powerful for your clitoris, try cupping the toy in the palm of your hand and enjoy subtle vibrations felt through your fingertips instead.

If your vibrating egg or bullet vibe has a cable running from the bullet to the battery pack, remember to treat it gently. Pulling to hard at the cord can cause it to loosen and will eventually damage your toy.

Tips & Tricks to Try with an Egg or Bullet Vibrator

  • A vibrating egg or bullet  is small and discreet enough to cup against your clitoris to offer the extra stimulation you may need to orgasm during intercourse with a partner.
  • A good trick is to rest the egg or bullet length-ways, allowing the vibrations to diffuse over the whole vulva area. You’ll likely find this builds arousal and gets you very excited – the outer lips, (Labia Majora), are an oft-overlooked area, but are highly sensitive.
  • These vibrators feel good to men too. Place the small bullet vibe at the base of his penis, or run a vibrating egg along his perineum for thrilling orgasms!
  • Egg vibes haven’t been designed for use internally, but if you’d like to slip it inside anyway: simply slide the egg into a condom so you can safely remove it without pulling on the cord.
  • Egg vibrators with a cord leading to a separate battery pack may seem cumbersome but actually it can be easier and more seamless to operate the settings with a controller in your hand, rather than trying to find the +/- buttons on a toy between your legs! Another advantage is that you can hand the control to your partner and let them take you on a vibrating journey – a great way to discover new ways to play… and orgasm!

 

Please Note: Egg-shaped or bullet vibrators are not safe for anal play

Even when covered in a condom. They are too small and may easily get sucked up by the very strong muscles inside, leaving you needing a trip to A&E, sharpish. If you would like to try anal pleasure, please choose an anal vibrator instead, as these have guards on the base making them totally safe for anal play