Let’s hear it for the boys: guy’s guide to female pleasure

Consider yourself a Lover with a capital L? A charming Casanova with plenty of chicks? A rakish Romeo with rows of honeys vying for your attention?

If so, this is probably not for you. 

If you are a regular dude who’s hoping to sweep your special lady off her feet with some smooth, new moves for Valentine’s Day, this might be for you.

If you’re a guy who’s open to new ideas, ready to learn more and keen on giving your girl something better than wham-bam-thank-you-mam for V-day and beyond, then this is definitely for you!

We know Valentine’s Day can have fellas sweating buckets trying to come up with spontaneous, romantic surprises that will show the depth of their love, without completely emptying their wallets in the process. Many refuse to pander to expectations, only to cave on the way home…


We have a better idea:

In the run-up to Valentines Day, we’ll be offering an unaccompanied gents & couple’s masterclass on female anatomy, arousal and orgasm to help make your V-day celebrations go off with a rosy bang!

Fun, friendly and fully clothed, guests will be taken on a guided tour of pleasurable peaks and orgasmic delights with our Masters of Mmmmm. Be inspired with new tricks and techniques on how to play her body like a finely tuned instrument of pleasure. From how to locate and recognize the elusive GSpot to top tips on sex toys, we’ll also discuss the art of female ejaculation and what to expect (or not) from sensual squirting; this class will leave you rushing home to try out your new-found skills.

Our sex-positive classes are hosted by members of our friendly team, who take to the floor with lots of tips to help you level up when it comes to your bedroom game.

Our classes are usually offered to women only, or women & couples, making this class for unaccompanied men the extra-hot ticket this V-Day! 

Bubbles will be served, as will some sweet treats and better still, a whopping 20% discount on any products purchased in store after the session – perfect for picking up some new toys to try out at home (and stocking up on those sex essentials such as lube and condoms).

After the class, staff will be on hand to help guide you through our product range and suggest some terrific couples toys to make this Valentines Day the best, most orgasmic one yet!


Perfect for partners and like-minded male friends who want to wow their significant others on the most romantic and rampant day (and night) of the year, we offer discounts on multiple bookings. 



MultiOrgasmic Blog Post

A quick guide to multiple orgasms

Anyone who’s ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvelous they are:  Your heart races, toes curls and breathing speeds up while the feeling builds in waves all over your body until you reach the point of climax and a feeling of intense pleasure and relief washes over you…


Yes, orgasms are pretty fantastic, but have you ever wondered how it might feel to have more than one?

You might be keen to learn about how you can increase your chances of experiencing one (or more, coz let’s be honest, once you’ve had one you’ll want to do it again).

Either way, this short guide to multiple orgasms should give you all of the information that you need to know about multiple orgasms.

What are multiple orgasms? 

Bodies are amazing in that there is almost no limit to how much pleasure they can experience and the female body, in particular, is amazing in the sense that it can produce numerous orgasms in any one session (provided it gets the right stimulation).

A multiple is effectively when a woman experiences more than one orgasm during a sex play, either on her own or with a partner.

Can everyone experience them?

Like most things, multiple orgasms are different for everybody and some people are finding hard to have one orgasm, never mind several. Don’t beat yourself up over it – learning more about what your particular hots spots are, and spending a lot of time playing & teasing them, will help you closer to the first orgasm and after that, the world is your oyster!

It is common for the clitoris to become too sensitive for touch after the first climax, but we hear there are women (or female-bodied persons) who have experienced multiple orgasms after working through the period of uncomfortable over-stimulation. If you reckon you can handle it, you may have more than one treat waiting for you on the other side…

A different approach is to work with your G-spot, as this tends to be far more comfortable for continued stimulation.  Women who enjoy G-spot play are often in a far better position to become multiple orgasm:ers, as their G-spot doesn’t become overstimulated in the same way the clitoris does. In fact, the G-spot enjoys attention so much, it becomes bigger and firmer, the more you stimulate it!

How to become multi-orgasmic

We’re focusing on the female body in this blog post, but men can also become multi-orgasmic if they are into prostate play.

Once you have mastered the art of one orgasm – or maybe two – you can kick it up a notch and try for a third.

Having the first orgasms by clitoral stimulation (any way you like it: tongue, fingers or toys), before moving on to a blended orgasm is a good middle. A blended orgasm is clitoral & G-spot stimulation at the same time (you’ll need fingers, G-spot toys or a penis for the internal stimulation).

Once you have mastered the blended orgasm, it’s time to practice G-spot orgasms only. For this, you need to be super-turned on, and tease yourself for up to an hour without allowing an orgasm to happen, Take yourself almost there, and then back off, go back up the peak, and then back off… This technique is called edging and works wonders if you want to increase the intensity of your orgasm.

Once you have mastered this (we know, it’s a lot of “homework” involved!), it’s time for the multiple…


After the first G-spot or blended orgasm, give yourself a few seconds before resuming firm stimulation of your G-spot area. Glass toys or steel dildos are particularly good for this, but any G-spot toy should be able to provide the stimulation needed.  Once you’ve had a second orgasm, give yourself another few seconds to rest and then carry on…





Orgasm Blog Post

Common misconceptions about the female orgasm

Throughout history the female orgasm has been the subject of analysis and interest, both for those who experience them (or not, as the case may be) and for those who hope to help their partners achieve them.

Many ask if female orgasms are real, while others wonder what their purpose is.

Unlike the male orgasm, female orgasm plays no major part in conception, and it can be concluded that  only function is to offer pleasure. We’re not complaining about this, but we feel the difficulty in achieving orgasms for women, in particular, is a major biological flaw.

There’s plenty of information circulating about the female orgasm, but how much of it is true?

We’re keen to set the record straight about the Big Oh, so read on as we dispel some of the biggest myths and misconceptions surrounding the female orgasm.

All women can have multiple orgasms

In fairness, women who do orgasm have got it pretty good. Many women don’t, which isn’t to say they won’t in the future; this is something that can be learned with time, patience and maybe a little bit of help from a vibrator.

The good news is that once you have learned how it works for you and you can bring on an orgasm, it is possible to keep on coming again and again. This is referred to as multiple orgasms and is often done with continued stimulation of the G-spot.

However, not all women respond to stimulation of their G-spot and as the clitoris tends to get over-stimulated after one orgasm, multiple orgasms aren’t something that every woman can just do. It requires knowledge of how your body works, the right tools (fingers, penis or toy) and lots of practice.

Positioning makes no difference when it comes to reaching an orgasm

We’re calling time on this belief.

A position that works for you could mean having a toe-curling climax whilst a position that doesn’t stimulate your hotspots in the right way may mean a lukewarm ‘meh’ experience…

The best position varies from person to person: for some women, this means being on top. This allows either themselves or their partner to stimulate their clitoris with their fingers. Since most women don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, having easy access to the clitoris can be crucial when it comes to coming.

For other women this may mean being flat on their backs – despite its reputation for being ‘dull’, the missionary position can be really useful for orgasm-surety. It allows you to rock your hips back and forth, or grind against your partners pubic bone. Again, it is most often the stimulation of the clitoris that makes the magic happen.

A good starting point is trying to recreate your favorite solo-sesh position but with a toy or penis joining the party.

It’s okay to fake orgasms

Pretty much everyone has been there at some point. A partner is giving it their all, but nothing happens and the pressure to orgasm so the partner can feel they’ve done a good job builds, and before you know it, a bit of loud moaning makes it seem like a fantastic orgasm just happened. The partner is happy, you are happy(-ish) and at least they had a great time even if you didn’t…

Catch 22.

The problem with faking is that it lets your partner believe that you experienced an incredible orgasm when you didn’t.

Each person is responsible for their own orgasm, and having an honest and open conversation about what you like and what gets you off will ensure next encounter is both better and hotter.


Sex Position Blog Post

The best sex positions for truly mind-blowing orgasms

When it comes to reaching one of those toe-curling, sheet-grabbing orgasms, some positions work better than others. These sex positions usually vary from person to person, depending on which muscles you need to tense in order to get off.

If you want to heat things up and ensure that your next climax is truly mind-blowing, read on for our top tips for best orgasmic sex positions:

Face Sitting

Oral sex is great for those who love nothing better than one intense orgasm after another. Straddling your partner’s face is good because it gives you more control; you can move your body so that all of your sensitive spots are being touched at the right time, bringing you to dizzying highs.

This is an excellent way for you to experiment with dominance too – you’ll feel like a Queen, rocking and rolling against your lover’s willing face.

Expect fireworks between your thighs!

Doggy Style

Whether your partner is male-bodied or you are using a strap-on, doggy style is great because it allows for deeper penetration that will stimulate your G-spot, delivering intense pleasure.

If you want to really ramp things up, ensure that your clitoris is seen to as well with our Satisfyer Pro Penguin Clitoral Toy. It has 11 settings to explore, making it perfect for building up pleasure. Start off slow and increase the suction as you near your peak.


If you are also in a loving relationship with your play-partner, feeling closer to them can often help you reach more intense orgasms.

Feeling intimate and knowing that you are loved can be a powerfully pleasurable experience for some, and what elicits closeness more than a good spoon? It allows your partner to put their arms around you and hold you close while the entire length of each of your bodies touches. Amp up the experience by asking them to stretch their arm around you and stroke your clitoris while they thrust slowly.

Legs in the air

It’s a favourite for many, and it’s easy to understand why. When your legs are in the air and swung over your partner’s shoulders, it allows for the deepest penetration possible, perfect for when you are trying to achieve a screaming oh-ooh-oooh!

Reach down and rub and play with yourself while your partner penetrates you deeply. This not only ensures your clit is teased in the way you like best, but it also offers a super-hot visual for your partner.

Here’s another blog post on exciting ways to spice up sex positions.

Guy’s Guide to Female Pleasure

Guy’s Guide to Female Pleasure

Introducing our new class!

For the first time  ever, we are opening up our famous erotic classes to the fellas!

In a new men-only class, attendees will be taken on a guided tour of pleasurable peaks and orgasmic delights of women’s sexuality, covering  female anatomy & arousal,  tips & tricks on how to locate the G-spot, how to choose and use the right sex toys to enhance her pleasure and also what to expect (or not) from female ejaculation.

Most men learn about the ins-and-outs of pleasure by watching porn, and this can lead to all sorts of issues in the bedroom. We have been teaching informative and fun classes for women & couples for many years, and one request kept popping up:  our female customers wanted a class they can send male partners to. By attending one of our guy’s classes in December, you can really give her the gift that keeps giving this Christmas: PLEASURE!

This is the sex education everyone wishes they’d received at school.


Our Top 5 Pleasure Tips for Men:

  • All women are created equal but sexual responses are individual and unique.
  • Always approach a new partner with an open mind, giving heart and warm hands.
  • Pay attention to her responses; every sigh and wiggle is telling you something.
  • The tiny tip of the clitoris has around 8000 nerve-endings sitting atop it – this means she is hyper-sensitive so be gentle (for comparison: the glans of a man’s penis has 4000 nerve-endings).
  • Think of the clitoris as a clock-face with 12 at the top and 6 at the bottom. Every woman has her very own, personal ‘Happy Hour’ – a clitoral pleasure time that makes her tick every time…


The *fully clothed* classes will be held at  at 57 Hoxton Square N1 6PB, and guests will be invited to make the most of an exclusive 20% discount.

5th December, 6.30pm  (£35)

19th December, 6.30pm  (£35)



Art of Female Orgasm Erotic Class

Orgasmic! The Art of Female Orgasms

Attending an erotic class can feel exciting and daunting at the same time. What happens? Who attends? How do I know if it’s for me?

Some classes are for women, and some for women & couples. You’ll find out who the class is for by looking the the erotic classes page here.

Many women attend this particular class because they find it difficult to reach orgasm or they’ve never had an orgasm at all. Or, perhaps they can have orgasms, but would just like to experience more of them. All of these reasons – and many more – are good reasons for attending this class.

What to Expect at our Orgasmic Erotic Class

Before the class starts, we’ll offer bubbly and cup cakes to help settle any nerves. We find that a glass of fizz and a bit of sugar is very helpful if you’re feeling out of your comfort zone!

Vulva Puppet
Vulva Puppet

Firstly, we’ll talk about anatomy. It’s important to know what parts make up the vulva and how a vagina works. Did you know, for example, that the tip of the clitoris has around 8000 nerve-endings on it? That’s pretty impressive! We use our trusted vulva puppet Rosie for this part of the class.

We’ll talk about various ways of stimulating the clitoris, and how to find out what kind of stimulation you might like. For this, we’ll look at a variety of vibrators.

For an orgasm to happen, it’s important that the mind and body are working together and we’ll talk about how to achieve this. The mind and the body can experience arousal separately, but not an orgasm.

Many women find it useful to have something for their pc muscle to clench against when they are masturbating, and we’ll suggest good products for this too.

You’ll have an opportunity to put your questions to our friendly educators at the end of the class.

After the class ends, guests can make the most out the whopping 20% discount that’ll be offered.

Sounds like fun?  Then book a ticket (or several, as we offer discounts for group bookings) for the Orgasmic! The Art of Female orgasm erotic class here.

Book a Female Orgasm Soiree – our erotic class party experience at home.

You can also choose learning about female orgasm for your Sh! Soiree theme  – our erotic class experience, comes to you!

We currently offer Sh! Soirees within London area.  UK-wide coming soon.  

Whatever the occasion; a girls get-together, a hen, Christmas or leaving do, a birthday party or simply to try something new, a Sh! Female Orgasm Soiree is playful, educational and always perfectly tuned to the occasion.


Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm

Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm; Separating the Good from the Bad

All our pleasure gels, whether designed to swell your G-Spot, make your clitoris more sensitive or enhance anal sex and pleasure, will gently stimulate you safely… but don’t expect miracles – no  pleasure gel will make your body hot if your mind is cold!

Simply slapping on a pleasure gel and clock-watching for the recommended activation time will not magically turn you into a hot-to-trot siren bursting with orgasms!

Fantasise, read some hot erotica, engage in some fabulous build-up whist the gel gets to work and you’ll feel the effects far more intensely…

Pleasure gels to enhance sex, arousal and orgasm – plus the ones that don’t!

Sexual enhancer creams, pleasure gels and sex sprays have been around a long time but we’ve rejected many of them as their ingredients often made us run for the shower, rather than to bed!

Some pleasure gels contain scary ingredients like loads of capsicum (the pepper family of plants – ouch!), menthol (brrr!) or lots of undisclosed, gloopy oil (an infection waiting to happen!).

Some pleasure gels and sex enhancer products make ridiculously wild claims like ‘guaranteed orgasm’ (sorry but no such thing!) and some are so deeply dodgy in their message, that they don’t even make it through to our vetting process…

Of the ones that do, we then test every pleasure gel / orgasm enhancer to ensure;

  • It actually does have a stimulating effect
  • Doesn’t mislead in it’s claims
  • Doesn’t irritate (or worse – sting!) delicate areas

If it passes the test, we’ll stock it on our shelves. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Our selected pleasure pleasure gels are more natural, using gentle ingredients and we even carry a pleasure enhancing range that is organic and vegan..

Pleasure gels to enhance female arousal and orgasm

The main active ingredient in our pleasure gels to enhance female orgasm is L-Arginine

This is a naturally occurring amino acid that increases blood flow by dilating blood vessels, making delicate genital tissue more sensitive and responsive.

Here’s the lowdown on the best pleasure gels to enhance female orgasm – the ones that made our shelves…

(note: use cautiously at first, just to check you’re not hyper-sensitive to any of the ingredients)

Tickle Her G Spot Pleasure Gel
Tickle Her G Spot Pleasure Gel £18


Tickle Her G- Spot Pleasure Gel. We were impressed when we tested it – and we weren’t wrong –  our customers give it rave 5* reviews:

‘The gel feels tingly and I could feel a pleasurable sensation spreading all over the area. As soon as we re-introduced the vibrator it felt sublime, my G-spot felt incredibly aroused without it being too intense’ 

This G-Spot Gel really does seem to work; swelling the G-Spot, or at least the general G-Spot area (pinpointing the elusive G Spot is often tricky) by increasing blood flow to it and making it more responsive.



Clitoral Pleasure Gel
Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel £11

Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel

This does the same thing to the clitoris, making blood flow to the area, enhancing sensation and awareness. It too receives great reviews;

‘ an almost immediate pleasant tingling sensation. It certainly enhances desire and I have difficulty climaxing so this is very useful for me’ 

As well as L’Arganine Tickle Her Clitoral Pleasure Gel contains Damiana, a natural aphrodisiac that increases clitoral sensitivity.


Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Stimulating Gel Tester £3
Tickle Her Pink Clitoral Stimulating Gel Tester £3


Both are available in tester sachetsso you can see how they work for you before investing in a larger bottle…






ON natural arousal oil
ON Natural Arousal Oil £15

On Arousal Oil 

A blend of oils and herbal extracts, this small 5ml bottle contains over 50 applications.

It delivers a ‘buzzing sensation’ to the clitoris – it’s not L’arginine, in this case, but Cinnamomum Cassie that delivers the focused warm,  tingling sensation.

It’s a natural arousal effect, without any harsh preservatives, parabens or artificial ingredients and we’ve found it safe and very effective. but  some people are hypersensitive to this natural ingredient.

We carry ON Arousal Oil Tester so you can see if it does the same for you.

ON Arousal Oil is only recommended for clitoral stimulation and it the only pleasure gel we stock that it NOT latex-safe so should NOT be used with condoms.


A word about vaginal tightening gels

One word – No!

Sorry ( but not sorry!) you won’t find these at Sh!

With names such as ‘Like a Virgin’ and ’18 Again’ and promising to make you feel ‘younger, tighter and sexier’ we think these products have seriously dodgy undertones. We’re into empowerment, not re-enforcing any insecurities that society gives us about  our vagjajays.

(Like we’d all like to go back to our teenage sexual years and sore inexperienced fumbles?  No thank you!)

However ‘natural’ the ingredients, Vaginal Tightening creams contain harsh astringents, which strikes us as something we wouldn’t want on our delicate downstairs bits. The effect is temporary, potentially irritating ( even scaring) and drying.

Plus if it shrinks, won’t it do the same to anything entering there, such as a penis!!?

Naturally elastic, the vagina is tightly folded most of the time but opens up during sexual arousal (and childbirth)

The best way to tighten the muscles around the vagina is by doing PC Muscle exercises and that’s what we;re sticking to, because it will also help with giving us stronger, easier orgasms, rather than a shrunken vag!



Enhancer Products for Anal Pleasure

Do we sell products that numb you bum?


There are lots on the market, many containing mild anaesthetic ( often Benzocaine or Lidocaine) and other de-sensitizing ingredients but we seriously caution you to stay away from them.

Pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop or at least slow down, a lot… Anal tissue is very delicate and easily torn and when it’s numbed, you cannot tell if any damage is being done.

If anal sex is painful, it’s generally for 2 reasons;

  1. Delicate anal tissue is being harmed
  2. When the body is resisting – it’s an involuntary tensing of the set of sphincture muscles that you cannot consciously relax. Relaxing anal muscles is key to pain-free anal-play

We also don’t get why being numb can in any way be pleasurable?

Surely sex is ALL about enhancing sensations, not about blocking them out..

Intimate Organics Anal Spray for Men with Lemongrass
Intimate Organics Anal Gel for Men with Lemongrass
Intimate Organics Anal Spray for Women with natural orange
Intimate Organics Anal Gel for Women with natural orange

So, instead of numbing, we carry an organic equivalent: Intimate Organics Anal Spray

All-natural ingredients in this anal gel simply and gently relax the anal  sphincter musclesfor easy penetration, allowing you to still be aware of all sensations.

As one reviewer says;

‘ This gel completely relaxes you, without any numbing at all so that you can just enjoy the sensation rather than worry about any pain, and it leaves a nice orange scent too!’

A word about numbing blow job or ‘deep throat’ sprays

advice blow jobBlow job and Deep Throat sprays all use local anesthetic to desensitize the mouth and ‘relax the the gag reflex’ to ‘reduce the discomfort associated with oral sex’

Oh gosh – no! The best ( worst!) example of the sex industry’s old-school exploitative ways and demotion of female pleasure; Lie back and think of England ladies and whilst you’re there, numb your throat, so you can take your man deeper – yum!

Basically a sore throat spray, marketed in a deeply un sex-positive way, we know for the men who choose to shop at Sh!, their women’s pleasure is paramount and numbing her, for their pleasure is  a deeply UN-sexy idea…

(Plus, practically – if it numbs the mouth, doesn’t it numb everything that goes in it??)

 A great blow-job is as much about a woman enjoying herself, as it is the man,  and we give Blow His Mind Erotic Classes in Fellatio to teach anatomy, tips and confidence-building to this (ahem) end!

Pleasure Gels for Men


Do we stock Spanish fly? Nope.  In it’s true form of dried out beetle bodies, it’s toxic and can be dangerous ( it works by stimulating the water passages in the bladder)

But we do stock an organic equivalent.

Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops
Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops

Stimul8 Spanish Love Drops 

100% natural ingredients, which include L-Arginine and Vitamin C.

Both these active ingredients have been shown to enhance erection and stamina.

Many pleasure enhancer preparations for men  work on male insecurities, rather than actual active ingredients, promising erections that are Bigger! Harder! Longer-lasting!

Long-suffering male friends and partners have helped us test many of these products… with many/most rejected.

stimul8 penis enlargement
Stimul8 Penis Enlargement Cream £15


Stimul8 Penis Enlargement Cream

This one got the thumbs up from our last man standing (ie the only one who didn’t refuse to do any more testing!).

The jury’s still out on whether this 100% organic pleasure gel actually enlarges penis over time, but the claim of better blood flow and expansion of erectile tissue in the penis did seem to please our tester. Over to you!



Deborah Sundahl

Deborah Sundahl
Deborah Sundahl

Hot off the press news today, ladiez – we’ve just received confirmation that Deborah Sundahl is to lecture at  Sh! in May 2011.


WHEN:Thursday, 19th May, 2011

WHERE:Sh! Portobello,

HOW MUCH: £30 (including bubbly and cup-cakes)

Deborah Sundahl will be joining the Sh! Girlz for an evening of G-spot talk! High priestess of the G-Spot, Deborah wrote the revolutionary ‘Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot‘, the very first book to seriously discuss the G-spot as a focus of female pleasure.

The G-Spot is possibly the most looked-for ‘hot button’ of female arousal, and G-spot toys have brought immense pleasure to thousands of women since the publication of Deborah’s book. Sh! is very proud to be hosting this event about all things G-Spot.

Buy tickets soon, ladiez – we’re expecting this night to be a sell-out success!

Enjoyable Sex!

Just had to share – the Sh! girlz were checking a website on ‘How To Conceive A Boy’, and found this gem on their (largely dodgy-looking) advice list:

5. The couple should know what sexual positions to help conceive a child. And women could try to have an orgasm during intercourse.

Sounds like the author can’t even imagine that women trying for a baby might also – shock horror! – be having enjoyable sex, unless he reminded them to.

Sexy Ideas For Lovers
31 Favours : Sexy Card Game For Her

Anyway, talking of enjoyable sex, there’s lots of new goodies in stock today. We’ve got the amazing 31 Favours: Sexy Card Game For Her and 31 Favours: Sexy Card Game For Him – each a set of hot card game full of handy hints on ways to thrill, tease and tantalise your lover. The Sh! girlz recommend buying a set of each so no one gets left out!

Diva Body Shimmer Powder
Golden Body Shimmer – looks good, feels good, tastes good! Diva Shimmer Body Powder is a golden shimmer powder, great for dusting onto a lover’s bare skin…it tastes yummy too, a bit like sherbert, and is ideal for licking off…and it’s infused with pheromones for an extra enhancement!

Spicy Scented Massage Candle
Sensual Massage candle: Pomegranate and Ginger

Ideal for divas everywhere, the Sh! girlz recommend trying out Diva Body Shimmer Powder to wear on an evening out. A dab on the arms and shoulders, and you’ll look and smell fantastic – plus your lover can lick it off when you get home!

Sensual Massage candles
Sensual Massage Candles are delicious, pheromone-infused massage candles made from soya oil and deliciously fragranced with White Lavender, Patchouli and Ylang-Ylang, and Pomegranate and Ginger. They melt at a low temperature and can be poured onto a lover’s skin and used as massage oil, as well as creating a gorgeous scent to set the mood!

There’s lots more snazzy goodies still arriving, ladiez, so watch this space – and look out for a super-special announcement here tomorrow night!

Do Women Enjoy Sex? (Here’s a hint: ‘YES’)

Do women enjoy sex? Do bear’s sh*t/woods? Is pope/catholic. Really we can’t believe we’re even writing a post entitles “Do Women Enjoy Sex” but there’s been a small controversy about whether women really enjoy sex lately, startled in all innocence by Stephen Fry, who was quoted as saying that women only sex with men “because sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship”.

He’s now explained that his comments were misunderstood (the Sh! Girlz knew he was lovely really 🙂 ).

But we do still occasionally hear this old chestnut , and we thought we’d take a look at it.

First, the assumption that women don’t enjoy sex puzzles us. Since it’s medically impossible to experience both male and female sexual arousal and compare them directly, men rely on anecdata about female sexual arousal and experience, and vice versa. And, expecially when it comes to female sexuality, the data isn’t all that reliable (Remember when that scientific study disproved the existence of the G-Spot?)

We’d argue that (not to assume all women are the same) the vocal number of women who tell us they do enjoy sex should be listened to – it’s they’re bodies they’re talking about, after all.

With regard to the analogy that the gay male cruising scene is a good ‘control group’ in which to test out men’s interest in sex versus women’s – it’s an interesting idea but it falls down at several points.

The way people seek out sex is socialised. Women are taught from a very young age that it’s never safe to go into dark parks and look for men, or to pick up random strangers. This is partly a flawed theory in itself (it’s a deeply sexist assumption to say that men are safe in parks and streets, but that’s another blog post) but there are few women who will take the risk of going cruising.

There is also the aspect that female sexual response is more misunderstood than men’s, and it’s often harder for a woman to find a casual partner who can push all the right buttons on a first encounter. Add that to the risks involved, and most ladiez would rather stay in with a rabbit vibe.

So, with these obvious flaws in the theory, it’s pretty obvious that most women do enjoy sex.
There are a couple of interesting historical quotations we wanted to include, partly from historical interest, partly because just cause we think they’re fun.

First, the famous Casanova, writing in the 18th century, reckoned that women must enjoy sex more than men – because, he said, while he definitely enjoyed sex, he didn’t enjoy it so much that he would have risked pregnancy for that much fun. The fact that his female lovers did take that risk convinced him that they were having even more fun than him.

The second story is from th Greek myth of Tiresias, a future-seer who was granted the gift of changing sex by the goddess Hera. Having lived in both a female and a male body, the Greek gods asked him who had more fun during sex. His response was ‘The woman has ten times more fun than the man.’

But, fun as the stories are, the Sh! Girlz are much more interested in our lovely Ladiez’ opinions on whether women enjoy sex – and after 18 years of talking and listening to women about sex, we reckon the answer is a responding ‘Yes!

That’s all for this week ladiez – we’re back on Monday.