Understanding Sexless Relationships And Strategies To End The Dry Spell

Most relationships start hot and steamy with plenty of pleasure and intimacy, but as time goes by these often reduce in frequency and intensity and sometimes they come to a halt.

Is it possible that your relationship is just going through a temporary ‘dry’ spell or season or is this how it will remain forever? What can you do to change things for the better?

leah-SpasovaFind the answers to these questions and many more during this evening hosted by Leah Spasova of the Lifesexperts

A Social Psychologist, Situational Ethicist, and Sex & Relationships Educator, Leah focuses her work on helping individuals to improve their social skills, confidence, self-esteem, resilience, ability to deal with difficulties, maintain good physical and mental health and more.

The evening starts at 7.30pm with a unique panel discussion featuring 4 professionals working in the field of life, sex and relationships improvement. Make the most of this opportunity to ask them questions related to their expertise and work with individuals and couples who experience relationship and sexual struggles. After the panel we will move onto our talk for the night, exploring and learning more about Sexless Relationships.

The Panel

  • Leah Spasova – Social Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Educator – LIFESEXPERTS
  • Lori Beth Bisbey – Psychologist, Sex and Intimacy Coach, Author – Wolf’s Fire
  • Jacqueline Chan – Life Coach and Yoga & Meditation Practitioner – Energy Before Matter
  • Glen Wiseman, Panel Moderator – Sex and Relationships Educator – Brook and The Mix Charity
After the panel discussion, Leah will explore the topic of sexless relationships in 2 parts:

1. How relationships enter a dry season – from a psychological: personal and interpersonal perspective?

2. How to navigate better and get ourselves back on track to a more connected, intimate and pleasure filled relationship?

*Understanding sexless relationships

This talk will help you gain insight into the reasons why sex reduces and stops in relationships from a psychological and sexual perspective. Although we shall briefly explore some of the social aspects that affect us, our relationships and sexual life; such as having stressful jobs, having children and else – we will concentrate more on the personal and interpersonal aspects of what causes individuals to end up in sexless relationships. We shall explore what kills passion, desire, and connection between individuals and how our emotional and psychological needs are often unrecognised and unmet and thus we lose interest, we stop yearning, feel pushed away or neglected.   

*Ways to reconnect and end the dry season

Continuing with the psychological: a personal and interpersonal perspective which is rarely shared and spoken about yet it is so very important for us as individuals and partners – we explore how to end the dry season. We shall offer you invaluable strategies to reignite passion and desire, increase the connection and intimacy between you.

Book Your Space:

All genders & sexualities welcome.

Attendees will receive a workbook to help them jot down notes and make the best out of the content this event has to deliver.

Who Are the Lifesexperts?

We provide high quality and unique Life Relevant Education for Adults!

Our content covers over 40 topics on all things related to sexuality, intimacy, relationships, mental health and well-being, interpersonal skills and more!

Our events are sex-positive, inclusive and welcoming to all human beings irrespective of sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, physical ability, relationship status, etc. Put simply, if you’re a human being open to learning and growing – you are welcomed.



Christmas Shopping Events

Instead of our usual line up of educational workshops and talks, this December we are inviting you and your best friends or colleagues to discover cherry-picked toys, treats and sex tips from our fun & friendly team of pleasure experts at our shop in Shoreditch.

Join us for our Christmas Shopping Events on Wednesday the 12th & Wednesday the 19th of December.

We’ll provide mulled wine and mince pies to get you feeling warmed up and festive, before inviting you to explore all the goodies we have on offer this Christmas. If you fancy treating yourself, we have the magnificent ZALO Queen, or if you’re shopping for a friend, we have small and cute vibes like the Glittering Bullet. Whatever your desire and budget, we’ll use our match-making skills to ensure you feel satisfied both during and after your visit!

Booking your visit in advance will ensure you get £3 off your purchases on the night/s.



If you’re looking for a more private affair, we can accommodate that too. Turn on more than Rudolph’s nose this Christmas and book yourself & your gal pals an exclusive shopping soiree this festive season!

It’s time to step up the gift giving. Novelty socks, bath bombs and on-offer perfumes all have their place, but this year, put down the Thorntons tray and think outside the chocolate box! We have a whole shop full of versatile gifts that, rest assured, can fill more than a stocking.

Sex toys and erotic products promise hours of fun, whether you’re buying for your partner, your best friend or even just nabbing a Tenga Egg or two for your Secret Santa (n.b. we do not recommend this if you’ve pulled your boss’ name out of the hat – awks all around). These are memorable presents that show to your lucky recipient your thoughtfulness, your attention to detail and your earnest well wishes.


Talk to our sexperts

Dedicated to spreading holiday cheer, our team can advise you & your bezzie mates on the best products and offer a multitude of great sex tips – whether this is how to approach your partner on the subject of spanking, or how to work a toy and get the banana boat in motion.

We want you to have an extra-merry Christmas with the best selection of presents and if learning how to use a strap-on is the key to your happiness, then we are here to help!

We have cake!

Mulled wine & mince pies, or Prosecco & Fancies… Either way, it’s the perfect way to spend an evening with good friends! We’ll throw in some discounts especially for your group,  and we’ll wrap your goodies nicely too – this opportunity really is too good to miss.

Our events are known for being relaxed, fun and informative so even the most bashful of your group will feel welcome.

Orgasmic offerings

Gold-Butt-PLug-WhiteEverything in our shop has been cherry-picked to jingle your bells. We may not stock frankincense or myrrh, but we do have a variety of golden products. In fact, we aim to offer a multitude of fabulous toys, each with their own special trick, whether that is a buzz, thrust, tingle, lick or rumble.

If you would prefer a book, a game, a ball gag, or a set of lingerie, we offer oodles of options for you to peruse in your quest to find the ultimate personalised gift (please see our Clone-a-Pussy chocolate mould for a literal expression of this). Otherwise, for those whose seasonal turkeys are prone to burning, we have a selection of sensual edible treats to tempt you with as your perfect Christmas pudding…

Book Your Shopping Event

After reading this you may now be thinking that your festive run-up would not be complete without a trip to Sh! – and you are correct.

Email us at for available dates and prices.

See you soon!



BUZZ: the Vibrator Musical

BUZZ: A Musical Journey Through the History of the Vibrator.

A Musical History of the Vibrator is coming to town, and we’re excited to say one of our toys has a starring role!

You can also WIN a pair of tickets!

BUZZ is a hilarious musical journey through the history of the vibrator and a brutally honest story of a singleton’s quest to fall back in love with herself. It received five starts from HisKind Magazine and the EdFringe Review as well as winning the 2016 Stella Wilkie Awards, the East 15 New Companies Award 2016 and The Eddies Award 2016.

BUZZ is a feminist production proudly celebrating women’s independence and sexuality. This is not your average musical.

With a cast of 9 recently graduated actor musicians, Fat Rascal transports the audience from the cave women of the Stone Age to Victorian London’s Hysteria Pandemic, from Cleopatra’s Egypt to the Land Girls of World War II. BUZZ is a fun approach to feminism, a comedy with a message aiming to liberate young women and open conversations about taboo subjects.


‘BUZZ carries a great message for the single ladies…and laughs for

everyone no matter what gender you are.’TV Bomb


Fat Rascal Theatre is a fresh new company from this year’s East 15 Acting School graduates. They are bold, cheeky and brash, using music and comedy to educate and empower. After a sell-out Edinburgh Festival run, Robyn Grant (Book and Lyrics) and James Ringer-Beck (Music) are thrilled to be bringing Buzz to the Drayton Arms in South Kensington for an all inclusive three week run.

 As London’s premier purveyors of vibrators the BUZZ team kindly asked if we would be interested in supporting their show.

Well of course we would! So one of our new wands is acting as a microphone and we’re here to urge to to go along and check it out for yourself!

We also have a pair of tickets to give away so get your entries in now!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Performance Details

Venue: The Drayton Arms Theatre, 153 Old Brompton Road, London SW5 0LJ

Dates: Tuesday 11th October to Saturday 29th October (Tuesdays – Saturdays)

Time: 8:00pm (Saturday Matinee 3:00pm)

Box Office: https://

Tickets: £14 (£10 conc.)

Suitable for ages 16+ (contains strong language, partial nudity and scenes of a sexual nature)

Vaginismus Girl

Vaginismus Awareness Day!

So Vaginismus Awareness Day is almost upon us!

Vaginismus Awareness Day is a think we made up. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a very important thing. In fact for next year we’re thinking about broadening our umbrella and holding a Pain Free Sex Day.

As we hope you know, vaginismus  is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted.

If you want to read more about the condition, and what you can do to overcome it please click over to our blog, ‘Moving Towards Pain Free Sex’.

If you’d like to get involved in helping women to talk more openly about pain they experience during sex please overuse the hashtag #PainFreeSex on the 15th of September.

And if you’re free please attend our Vaginismus Event.

We’ll be hosting a webinar on the evening of the 14th of September with Krystal Woodbridge a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Qualified nurse. If you’d like to join in please email

We’ll also be hosting a live event in London on the 15th of September, featuring talks from Psychosexual therapists, including Sh! advice columnist Sarah Berry. We will also hear from vaginismus sufferers and the Sh! Team.

Where: 57 Hoxton Square

When: 5-30-7.30pm Thusday 15th September

How Much: It’s FREE

Register Here

Sh! Voted Best Individual Store 2016!

Sh! Voted Best Individual Store 2016!

The annual ETO (Erotic Trade Only) Awards are always a fancy affair and no less so this year.

Taking place in Birmingham in June each year, the ETO Trade Show & Awards are highlighted on every adult retailer’s calendar – preferably with a gold star so it can’t be missed!

On the day, we left London slightly later than planned after an impromptu rouge-bra hunt around East London (it happens), and promptly got stuck in a traffic jam on the M1 as there’d been an accident in the heavy rain.

Feeling a little worried that we’d miss the 7.30pm dinner call, we fetched make up and other paraphernalia from the boot of the car and set about beautifying ourselves whilst waiting for traffic to move. As we arrived at our hotel, half-made up with partial strips of fake eyelashes glued on, we were glowing with foundation and stress…

ETO DInnerSlipping into our finery, complete with sparkly heels & clutches, we made our way to the venue, Resorts World. Confusingly located inside a shopping mall, the venue is nontheless very glamourous and overlooks the Pendigo Lake.

We had lovely company around the table, and both conversation and wine were flowing freely.  A scrumptious 3-course dinner was enjoyed, and then – finally time for the Awards!

As much as everyone pretends winning doesn’t matter, it is always exciting to see whether your name/business will be called up. Practically rushing the stage in our excitement to collect the award for Best Individual Store, our brains froze (still thinking about that rouge bra) and our Thank You speech was less than eloquent. The stresses of the afternoon (and, let’s be honest, the wine) got to us, and we were a bit giggly…

ETO Awards and BottleWe’ll let Ky (founder & MD) speak instead: To receive a similar amount of nominations as the big boys in the industry is a huge honour for our small (but perfectly formed!) company and to actually recieve ETO Awards which we’ve done year on year thanks to everybody’s wonderful support is the cherry on top. So thank you to everybody who nominated and voted for Sh! – it’s such an uplifting endorsement from our peers that thrills us to bits!

We were delighted when our friend Tabitha Rayne won the award for Best Erotic Author 2016. This year is definitely Tabitha’s year, what with the fantastic Ruby Glow vibrator receiving a nomination for most innovatie toy. Tabitha is the brains behind this awesome vibe, which incidentally scored an impressive 2nd place in Good Housekeeping Magazine a couple of weeks ago.

Along with her fellow Brit Babes (Kay Jaybee, KD Grace, Victoria Blisse and Lexie Bay), Tabitha took the dancefloor with storm, and celebrated with some very sharp moves.

The after-Awards parties are legendary; everyone finally relaxes and hair gets let down. This year, a pair of panties were flung across the room, two merry men were energetically tonguing each other on the stage until security removed them (booo – we were enjoying that!) and champagne corks were popping in every direction.

The Morning After

man cunt lubeVisting the ETO Trade Show is a lot of fun. This year we got to try a new arousal drink for women (yep, it works – lady bits were twitching!) which will be ready for shoppers in about 2 months. We  were given tiny Doxy Massager keyrings (always useful!) and a bottle of…ahem… ManCunt…lube. It’s “white, creamy and fun to play with”.

We spotted a number of products we think you’ll love, such as the new rabbit vibrator with a moving nubbin, or the flickering tongue toy. We’ll order the Doxy Massagers in sparkly cover (perfect for Christmas!)  and we found some deliciously-scented massage creams.

So all in all a very successful trip!

Thanks so much to everyone who voted for us.

It’s Shakespeare Week: Let’s get highbrow and laugh at his sex jokes.

It’s Shakespeare Week: Let’s get highbrow and laugh at his sex jokes.

It’s a very important week when it comes to celebrating the Best of British Literature. It’s Shakespeare week, celebrating 400 years of the bard. This weekend it’s also World Book Night and English Language Day. We’re doing our bit to celebrate all this literature with our own book night. Join us Friday at 6pm for an Erotic Reading themed on the Best of British Kink. Until then we’ll leave you with some of the bards best sex jokes:

1. Yes, if you added an ‘N’ in there you are reading this exactly right:

MALVOLIO: By my life, this is my lady’s hand these be her very C’s, her U’s and her T’s and thus makes she her great P’s.

Twelfth Night: Act 2, Scene 5

2. We don’t know if this is the first yo’ mamma joke but the execution is top notch:

CHIRON: Thou hast undone our mother.

AARON: Villain, I have done thy mother.

Titus Andronicus: Act 4, Scene 2

3.  Medlars were called “open-arses” because of the shape of the fruits. But do you need that to know what he’s talking about? Tragic love not enough to stop your friends making dirty jokes about your lady love:

MERCUTIO: If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark.
Now will he sit under a medlar tree
And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit
As maids call medlars when they laugh alone.
O Romeo, that she were! Oh, that she were
An open arse, and thou a poperin pear

Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 1

4. Ok, as well as ‘country’ we’ve got ‘nothing’ as in ‘no thing’ and maybe you can guess that Hamlet is talking about vaginas here?

HAMLET: Do you think I meant country matters?

OPHELIA: I think nothing, my lord.

HAMLET: That’s a fair thought to lie between maid’s legs.

Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 2

5. Literary celebrities – just like us! They enjoy a good oral sex joke. And good oral sex we’re willing to bet:

PETRUCHIO: Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.

KATHERINE: In his tongue.

PETRUCHIO: Whose tongue?

KATHERINE: Yours, if you talk of tales, and so farewell.

PETRUCHIO: What, with my tongue in your tail?

The Taming of the Shrew: Act 2 Scene 1

6. He’s talking about his wig:

SIR ANDREW: But it becomes me well enough, does ’t not?

SIR TOBY BELCH: Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I
hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs
and spin it off.

Twelfth Night: Act 1, Scene 3

7. And that young Juliet is where babies come from:

LADY CAPULET . . . By having him, making yourself no less.

NURSE: No less! nay, bigger; women grow by men.

Romeo and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 3

8. This is very true:

PORTER: ‘Faith, Sir, we were carousing till the second cock: and drink, Sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF What three things does drink especially provoke?

PORTER: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep and urine. Lechery, Sir, it provokes, and unprovokes: it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to: in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and giving him the lie, leaves him.

9. Poor Claudio is going to be executed for getting his fiance pregnant. But don’t let that get in the way of a good turn of phrase:

POMPEY: Yonder man is carried to prison.

Mistress Overdone: Well; what has he done?

Pompey: A woman.

Mistress Overdone: But what’s his offence?

Pompey: Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.

Measure for Measure: Act 1, Scene 2

If that’s got you feeling literary come along to our event. 

Where: Sh! 57 Hoxton Square, London N1 6PB

When: Friday 22nd April 2016, 6-8pm

Price: FREE

Book a Space:


The Great Wall of Vagina Comes To Sh!

The Great Wall of Vagina Comes To Sh!

Screenshot (32)We’re really excited to announce that The Great Wall of Vagina is coming to Sh! March 16th will be Lip Appreciation Day, we hope you’ve already seen our survey and giveaway (and filled it in). And now we’ve got some great events lined up to help you love your lips, and by lips we mean vulvas!

From Saturday 5th March we’ll be displaying some pieces from Jamie McCartney’s The Great Wall of Vagina project. Then at 12.30 on Saturday the 2nd of April we’ll be hosting a talk and book signing  in-store with Jamie McCartney, where we’ll be talking art, body image and vaginas.We’ll also have some special products to help you express your love for your lips, everything from vulva colouring books to your own casting kit.

Jamie’s work celebrates the huge natural range there can be in the appearance of the vulva. Labiaplasty was up 49% in 2015 on the previous year and 87% of women who opt for vaginal rejuvenation admitted to doing so for purely aesthetic reasons. That’s not good!

We want women to love their lips and to know that whatever they’ve got is both beautiful and normal.  Unless we have a troupe of female lovers through our bedroom, we never really get a chance to see what real women look like;  the images of vulvas that are readily available are too often from porn and having been nipped, tucked, bleached and plucked to within an inch of their life, they give an unrealistic idea of how women actually look.

More about Jamie McCartney and The Great Wall of Vagina


Jamie McCartney is an English artist, trained at Hartford Art School, USA, from where he graduated with highest honours in 1991.

Having worked on grass roots environmental campaigns as well as on a peace boat in his youth, a strong socio-political current runs through many of his works. McCartney embraces experiment as the driving force behind his creativity, when questioned, “I just make stuff” is his mantra.

The Great Wall of Vagina consists of 400 plaster casts of vulvas, all unique. The age range of the women involved stretches from 18 to 76. The work includes mothers and daughters, identical twins, transgendered men and women as well as a woman pre and post natal and another one pre and post labiaplasty. It’s a far cry from pornography and an amazing exploration of human variety.

Vulvas and labia are as different as faces and many people, particularly women, don’t seem to know that. McCartney hopes this sculpture will help to combat the exponential rise, seen in recent years, of cosmetic labial surgeries. This new fashion for creating ‘perfect’ vaginas sets a worrying trend for future generations of women which The Great Wall of Vagina aims to challenge.

We are really excited to be hosting these events and we hope you will drop in and see us!


From Saturday 5th March Art exhibition featuring work from Jamie McCartney’s The Great Wall of Vagina

16th March Lip Appreciation Day, we’ll be announcing the winner of  our giveaway so make sure you enter!

2nd April 12.30 Book Signing and talk from Jamie McCartney, this should be a really great free event so please come along.

Competition Time

Dossie Easton back in London

The wonderful Dossie Easton is back in London for a series of workshops this December!

Dossie Easton is back in London this Winter for two exciting workshops organised by Sacred Pleasures.
Adventures of a Slutty Soul – An Evening With Dossie Easton
Tuesday 3rd December
Stoke Newington, London
Dossie EastonShare an evening with the world-renowned sex educator Dossie Easton as she
recounts amusing anecdotes, insights and experiences gathered over a lifetime of exploring sexuality, polyamory and spirituality. Dossie is delighted to share her hard-earned wisdom and to answer any questions you have.
Old Skin, New Skin
Thursday 5th – Sunday 8th December
Clapham, London
With Dossie Easton and Faerie and Claire of Sacred Pleasures
Old Skin, New Skin is a profound three-and-a-half day exploration of Ecstatic BDSM for healing and transformation – and of course, pleasure.
We can let limiting beliefs and negative behaviour patterns affect our daily life.
We believe in the alchemical power of BDSM to transform these beliefs and patterns from lead into gold. At the heart of these issues you’ll find the key to deep healing, and discover more bliss than you thought possible. On the last day we come back together for a deliciously juicy play party where you can stretch your new skin in loving community with other explorers.

“I am proud to serve my communities as psychotherapist, relationship counselor, educator, and author. Since 1969, I have lived and worked in sexual minority cultures. I am dedicated to feminist, polyamorous, BDSM, spiritual, gender-diverse, and LGBTQ individuals and communities. I explore, with my clients and in my own life, new paradigms of gender, sexuality, and relationships. I am committed to offering authentic, respectful, competent, and compassionate psychotherapy and relationship counseling to people exploring non-traditional lifestyles.” – Dossie Easton


We have a pair of tickets to give away for the Tuesday 3rd December Dossie Easton talk. To be in with a chance of winning, follow the instructions below. A winner will be chosen at random after the competition closing date.
Bubbly & Cake

May at Sh!

What’s been happening at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium this May!

By Joanna

Can you believe it’s the end of May already? It may have been a (mostly) dark and dismal month, but there’s been plenty going on at Sh! Towers to keep us busy…

We have learnt so much from some *amazing* women who have taught at our Sh! Hoxton store in May. Earlier in the month, the fabulous Mollena Williams visited us on her European Tour with two kinky classes aimed at both kink-virgins and those folks already playing on the BDSM scene. We were also contacted by the Australian bundle-of-dynamite that is Cyndi Darnell for a sell-out class on Female Arousal Anatomy. Both Mollena and Cyndi gave us plenty of food for thought, and we look forward to another visit in the near future!

Speaking of Mollena, we also nominated Playing Well With Others as our May Book of the Month. Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington co-wrote this amazing book, which describes itself as the “Field Guide to Navigating the BDSM and Kink Community” (but we think it is more like a guide to life).


Bondage Bow
Bondage Bow

The Rare Assembly Bondage Bow was our May Toy of the Month ~ congratulations to the winner of this gorgeous latex treat. These seemingly innocent latex bows can be unravelled for lots of kinky fun.

If you’re more saucy siren than girly girl, you’ll *love* our new Black Rose BDSM range. From soft cuffs and blindfolds to naughty mouth bits, there is something for everyone. All packaged in purple and black, this beautifully designed and fully functioning equipment is a must for your kinky cupboard.

Also new in this month ~ Our best-selling lubricant Lush Pure and Lush Pure + has arrived in new little handbag size! We *love* lube here at Sh! and recommend everyone keeps at least one travel-sized bottle of lube handy at all times…

We’ve had some super-hot Filthy Friday fun this month! Every Friday, we offer our blog readers *free* erotica, and May has been no exception. Alison Tyler, K L Gillespie, Bebe Balocca, Ella and Plumptious Pea have all shared free smut, and we love them for it! <3

Brownie‘Ask, and you shall receive!’ ~ We called out for emergency cake, and the lovely @EA_Unadorned sent us some absolutely delicious Cookie Dough Brownies from @Wraggamuffins #Thankyousomuch!

One of our main competitors stopped by earlier this week. He complimented us on our fabulous store, and even wanted to take pix of our exclusive FetiSh! range, made by our very own Sh! Pixies in our London warehouse.

On Thursday we hosted a fabulously fun Loyalty Card Holders Party. There was bubbly, and cupcakes, and the ladiez from AnnaKarenina Corsetry were on hand to fit customers into their beautiful custom-made corsets.

Lastly, but by not means least… we’ve been filming in store with the fabulous Kathryn Hoyle for the Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium website so look out for some new videos on the site in the coming weeks!

Looking forward to seeing you all soon!



Women of the World Festival

Looking for something to do this weekend? The Women of the World festival is on at Southbank Centre, so why not head over for a weekend of talks, performances, concerts debates and music!

In the wake of International Women’s Day, the WOW festival seems like the perfect opportunity to celebrate! The very best of recognised and emerging female talent in politics, the arts, economics, fashion, science, health, sport, business and education have come together for 3 days of inspirational events. Check out the schedule here!

The Sh! Girlz highly recommend the Saturday session, Sex and Sensibilities (1pm). Our very own Kathryn Hoyle, Founder of Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, will be on the panel, discussing women’s sexuality in the post-50 Shades world.

Day passes for WOW are only £12 (or £30 for a 3 day pass) and this covers *most* sessions. Evening events are individually ticketed, see for more details.