Polish the pearl: Methods of masturbation

Masturbation is healthy, perfectly natural and a wonderful way of getting to know your own body.

There are several methods of clitoral masturbation, from a go-it-alone approach to adding a partner or a few toys into the mix to really get the party started!

What works for one person may not float the boats of others, so it really is a matter of personal preference and practice to see what works best for you.

If you are just getting started and haven’t yet worked out a self-love routine, we suggest picking a time when you have the house to yourself as few things ruin a good sesh as much as a nosy flatmate!

Next, you need to know where your clitoris is located. Grab a mirror, gently pull back the clitoral hood and you should be able to see a small ‘pea’ nestled in amongst the folds – this is the outer part of your clitoris. Hiding inside your body are two clitoral legs, spanning apporimately 8 cm each on either side of the vaginal opening. Cool huh!

Clitorises come in a variety of sizes, but a larger sized clit doesn’t necessarily mean a better orgasm – it’s just easier to find.

So, what are the best methods of female masturbation? Here are a few techniques to get you started…

Pleasure at Your Fingertips

Start getting to know your body better by using your fingertips to gently tap the pubic bone just above the clitoris. This will help wake your vulva up and start to get things moving. As your body starts responding to your touches, blood will flow into the area, making your bits feel juicier.

It could be that your vulva is already plenty wet, but we recommend drizzling some lube on to your fingers before the next step. Lube makes fingertips softer and smoother and enhances sensations in a delicious way.

Begin to press down and use slow and circular movements – and if it feels good then don’t stop, instead, find a rhythm that feels great and keep going!

The best thing with masturbation is that there is only one person to pleasure: you! Take as much time as you need; a great orgasm often requires a build-up of neuromuscular tension (sexual tension) and the hotter you feel, the more intense the resulting orgasm will be.


The Scissor Sisters Technique

Another popular method of female masturbation is the ‘scissor sister’s’ technique.

Using one hand, make a kind of peace sign with your index and middle fingers and place a finger on each side of your outer labia.

Add a little pressure and gently move the two fingers together in a scissors motion and lift your labia up slightly to increase the sensation whilst finding a speed that works for you. Again, lubed up fingers will add to the slidey sensations. It’s a very soft way of stroking yourself with no real intensity to the stimulation of the clitoris. This is a great way of masturbating if you’re not keen on over-stimulation.


This technique is similar to how a clit clamp works, which is the advanced but oh-so-amazing level.  Using a clit clamp isn’t as scary as it sounds and should always be pleasurable, not painful.

A clit clip ‘clamps’ the two inner labia lips together, thus squishing over the clitoris and limiting blood flow. This makes you feel more aware of your delicate area and it often helps to build arousal.

Fancy giving it a go? Lube up the labia lips before sliding the clit clamp down and along the inner labia lips. When positioned correctly, the clitoral hood + clit should rest in the rounder part of the top of the clip.

Polish the Pearl

Having a clitoris is awesome, so show it some self-love with our next masturbation technique.

With your dominant hand, start by slowly dragging your index or middle finger from the base of the vaginal opening to your clitoris. Once you reach this little pearl of pleasure, gently circle it before starting the process again.

You may find that your clitoris can get a little sensitive if touched directly, so just work around it and find a motion that you enjoy best.

A little silicone-based lube can help make this technique super-hot and ramp up the pleasure! Silicone lube is longer-lasting than water-based lube and works wonderfully well for long sessions, or when playing in water.


The shower head or faucet of the bath are both good tools for solo play. Many learn how to orgasm with the help of a quality power shower, aiming the warm jets just so, and others let the water splash down on to the clitoris straight from the tap. Depending on your bath tub, this may involve some acrobatic moves trying to position yourself – legs over the edge is a common one.

Bump, Hump & Grind

Positioning is key when it comes to masturbation and working out what rocks your boat could and should involve a few different positions.

One fun position to try is the bump & grind, or ‘humping’. We know women who build themselves a little mountain of pillows for mounting and grinding their pelvic area against. This doubles as an excellent workout for the thighs – mixing business with pleasure!

If all that moving around seems too tiresome, you could treat yourself to a Ruby Glow, the vibrator for seated satisfaction! Featuring two motors (one for the clitoris and one for the vaginal opening), you rock yourself against the thrilling vibrations. The clever design of Ruby Glow works equally well on beds, sofas and wheelchairs, and you can even rub one out without taking your clothes off!


Next Level Pleasure

Once you’ve tried these techniques and worked out what works best for you, you might want to think about a few toys to treat yourself to or to share with a partner as you carry on exploring what works for you.

Vibrators are magnificent pleasure-makers and despite what porn may want us to believe (‘bigger is better’), we sell way more small vibes for clitoral teasing than bigger toys for internal use.

Small finger-tip toys are great fun and can easily be shared with a partner. Slightly bigger bullet-style vibes are easy to hold and pack a  stronger punch. Egg-shaped vibrators mirror the shape of the labia and can be enjoyed in numerous ways.

Vibrators can sometimes lead your clitoris to feel overstimulated, especially if it’s been held right at the tip of the clit. To avoid this, circle the vibe around your pleasure pearl, tease the labia lips, invite the nipples to your buzzin’ party… There are lots of sensitive nerve-endings in and around the opening of vagina, so li’l stroke here often increases the desire for more.


Every so often customers ask if it’s ‘bad’ to masturbate too often or if it’ll ruin sex with a partner. To this, we say: What is too often anyway? There are no rules – you can play as often or as seldom as you like!

And as for partnered sex, finding out your individual likes and dislikes makes partnered sex better and hotter, as you can teach your partner what you like, and how you like it.

Our tip would be to book a night in, get the lube and any favourite toys out and get down to some mutual masturbation. It is super-hot to watch each other get off and you’re bound to learn something new about your partner’s fave moves, like a certain grip, pump or slide!

Have a good tip or trick to share with us? We’d love to hear, so drop us a line below!




MultiOrgasmic Blog Post

A quick guide to multiple orgasms

Anyone who’s ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvelous they are:  Your heart races, toes curls and breathing speeds up while the feeling builds in waves all over your body until you reach the point of climax and a feeling of intense pleasure and relief washes over you…


Yes, orgasms are pretty fantastic, but have you ever wondered how it might feel to have more than one?

You might be keen to learn about how you can increase your chances of experiencing one (or more, coz let’s be honest, once you’ve had one you’ll want to do it again).

Either way, this short guide to multiple orgasms should give you all of the information that you need to know about multiple orgasms.

What are multiple orgasms? 

Bodies are amazing in that there is almost no limit to how much pleasure they can experience and the female body, in particular, is amazing in the sense that it can produce numerous orgasms in any one session (provided it gets the right stimulation).

A multiple is effectively when a woman experiences more than one orgasm during a sex play, either on her own or with a partner.

Can everyone experience them?

Like most things, multiple orgasms are different for everybody and some people are finding hard to have one orgasm, never mind several. Don’t beat yourself up over it – learning more about what your particular hots spots are, and spending a lot of time playing & teasing them, will help you closer to the first orgasm and after that, the world is your oyster!

It is common for the clitoris to become too sensitive for touch after the first climax, but we hear there are women (or female-bodied persons) who have experienced multiple orgasms after working through the period of uncomfortable over-stimulation. If you reckon you can handle it, you may have more than one treat waiting for you on the other side…

A different approach is to work with your G-spot, as this tends to be far more comfortable for continued stimulation.  Women who enjoy G-spot play are often in a far better position to become multiple orgasm:ers, as their G-spot doesn’t become overstimulated in the same way the clitoris does. In fact, the G-spot enjoys attention so much, it becomes bigger and firmer, the more you stimulate it!

How to become multi-orgasmic

We’re focusing on the female body in this blog post, but men can also become multi-orgasmic if they are into prostate play.

Once you have mastered the art of one orgasm – or maybe two – you can kick it up a notch and try for a third.

Having the first orgasms by clitoral stimulation (any way you like it: tongue, fingers or toys), before moving on to a blended orgasm is a good middle. A blended orgasm is clitoral & G-spot stimulation at the same time (you’ll need fingers, G-spot toys or a penis for the internal stimulation).

Once you have mastered the blended orgasm, it’s time to practice G-spot orgasms only. For this, you need to be super-turned on, and tease yourself for up to an hour without allowing an orgasm to happen, Take yourself almost there, and then back off, go back up the peak, and then back off… This technique is called edging and works wonders if you want to increase the intensity of your orgasm.

Once you have mastered this (we know, it’s a lot of “homework” involved!), it’s time for the multiple…


After the first G-spot or blended orgasm, give yourself a few seconds before resuming firm stimulation of your G-spot area. Glass toys or steel dildos are particularly good for this, but any G-spot toy should be able to provide the stimulation needed.  Once you’ve had a second orgasm, give yourself another few seconds to rest and then carry on…





Lesbian Class Blog Post

What to expect from our lesbian sex classes

If you’re keen to explore sex in an open, friendly environment where questions are always welcome, our educational sex classes are a great option for you.

Learning about sex and finding out the things that you want to can be intimidating, but it really doesn’t have to be.

Read on to find out more about what you can expect to discover when you attend one of our lesbian sex classes.

Who are the lesbian sex classes for?

We know how scary (and empowering!) it can feel to be newly out or ready to take it a step further with a special someone, which is why we are here to answer any and all questions that you might have.

Just because the title is ‘lesbian sex class’, please don’t think you’re going to be refused entry if you identify differently. We endeavor for each of our classes to be all-encompassing, which is why whether you are bisexual, pansexual, fluid, or straight but keen to try something new, you’ll be warmly welcomed by our friendly team.

Cis woman or trans woman makes no difference – if you identify as a woman who is interested in getting hot & bothered with other women, this class is for you.

Oh, also – there is no shaming of any kind allowed in our classes. The butchest of all butches to the femmest of all femmes, and everyone in between, is welcome. (Swooning at dapper waistcoats or sparkly nails is all par for the course at Sh!)

What will be covered during the class?

You’ll be glad to know that throughout the course of this class, all of the important stuff will be covered.

You’ll learn how to practice safer sex, an area that we don’t think receives half the attention that it should when it comes to sex between women.

We’ll talk about the importance of smooth fingernails as well as the best ways to use lube to enhance all sex play. We’ll talk fingers and tongues, and how to work out what she really likes.

Do you teach people about the female body?

Vulva PuppetNaturally, no woman-on-woman sex class would be complete without a bright focus on the female anatomy. Expect to learn about juicy hot spots, with special attention being paid to the clitoris and the G-spot. This happens with pictures, diagrams and more hands-on teaching with the help of our plush vulva ‘Rosie’.

After all, these two spots can create intense magic, so it’s important you feel clued up on how they work! (We’ll offer each guest to feel for Rosie’s G-spot, but you don’t have to take part in this if it makes you uncomfortable.)

What about positions?

We want to ensure guests know that sex doesn’t have to focus on penetration in order to be enjoyable, and the positions we talk about are more about bumping & grinding together. Penetration with fingers or toys are optional and not necessary for a great time.

And talking about toys; we’ll show a cherry-picked selection of small size sex toys that you and a partner can have fun exploring together.

Rounding things up

As mentioned above, we like to ensure that our classes are as open as possible, which is why we encourage people to ask any and all of the questions that they want to. Common questions include “is it possible to have too much sex” and “why does she/I get so sore when we have lots of sex” as well as questions about whether or not you should shave your pubic hair off before getting intimate with another woman.


Orgasm Blog Post

Common misconceptions about the female orgasm

Throughout history the female orgasm has been the subject of analysis and interest, both for those who experience them (or not, as the case may be) and for those who hope to help their partners achieve them.

Many ask if female orgasms are real, while others wonder what their purpose is.

Unlike the male orgasm, female orgasm plays no major part in conception, and it can be concluded that  only function is to offer pleasure. We’re not complaining about this, but we feel the difficulty in achieving orgasms for women, in particular, is a major biological flaw.

There’s plenty of information circulating about the female orgasm, but how much of it is true?

We’re keen to set the record straight about the Big Oh, so read on as we dispel some of the biggest myths and misconceptions surrounding the female orgasm.

All women can have multiple orgasms

In fairness, women who do orgasm have got it pretty good. Many women don’t, which isn’t to say they won’t in the future; this is something that can be learned with time, patience and maybe a little bit of help from a vibrator.

The good news is that once you have learned how it works for you and you can bring on an orgasm, it is possible to keep on coming again and again. This is referred to as multiple orgasms and is often done with continued stimulation of the G-spot.

However, not all women respond to stimulation of their G-spot and as the clitoris tends to get over-stimulated after one orgasm, multiple orgasms aren’t something that every woman can just do. It requires knowledge of how your body works, the right tools (fingers, penis or toy) and lots of practice.

Positioning makes no difference when it comes to reaching an orgasm

We’re calling time on this belief.

A position that works for you could mean having a toe-curling climax whilst a position that doesn’t stimulate your hotspots in the right way may mean a lukewarm ‘meh’ experience…

The best position varies from person to person: for some women, this means being on top. This allows either themselves or their partner to stimulate their clitoris with their fingers. Since most women don’t orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, having easy access to the clitoris can be crucial when it comes to coming.

For other women this may mean being flat on their backs – despite its reputation for being ‘dull’, the missionary position can be really useful for orgasm-surety. It allows you to rock your hips back and forth, or grind against your partners pubic bone. Again, it is most often the stimulation of the clitoris that makes the magic happen.

A good starting point is trying to recreate your favorite solo-sesh position but with a toy or penis joining the party.

It’s okay to fake orgasms

Pretty much everyone has been there at some point. A partner is giving it their all, but nothing happens and the pressure to orgasm so the partner can feel they’ve done a good job builds, and before you know it, a bit of loud moaning makes it seem like a fantastic orgasm just happened. The partner is happy, you are happy(-ish) and at least they had a great time even if you didn’t…

Catch 22.

The problem with faking is that it lets your partner believe that you experienced an incredible orgasm when you didn’t.

Each person is responsible for their own orgasm, and having an honest and open conversation about what you like and what gets you off will ensure next encounter is both better and hotter.


Sex Position Blog Post

The best sex positions for truly mind-blowing orgasms

When it comes to reaching one of those toe-curling, sheet-grabbing orgasms, some positions work better than others. These sex positions usually vary from person to person, depending on which muscles you need to tense in order to get off.

If you want to heat things up and ensure that your next climax is truly mind-blowing, read on for our top tips for best orgasmic sex positions:

Face Sitting

Oral sex is great for those who love nothing better than one intense orgasm after another. Straddling your partner’s face is good because it gives you more control; you can move your body so that all of your sensitive spots are being touched at the right time, bringing you to dizzying highs.

This is an excellent way for you to experiment with dominance too – you’ll feel like a Queen, rocking and rolling against your lover’s willing face.

Expect fireworks between your thighs!

Doggy Style

Whether your partner is male-bodied or you are using a strap-on, doggy style is great because it allows for deeper penetration that will stimulate your G-spot, delivering intense pleasure.

If you want to really ramp things up, ensure that your clitoris is seen to as well with our Satisfyer Pro Penguin Clitoral Toy. It has 11 settings to explore, making it perfect for building up pleasure. Start off slow and increase the suction as you near your peak.


If you are also in a loving relationship with your play-partner, feeling closer to them can often help you reach more intense orgasms.

Feeling intimate and knowing that you are loved can be a powerfully pleasurable experience for some, and what elicits closeness more than a good spoon? It allows your partner to put their arms around you and hold you close while the entire length of each of your bodies touches. Amp up the experience by asking them to stretch their arm around you and stroke your clitoris while they thrust slowly.

Legs in the air

It’s a favourite for many, and it’s easy to understand why. When your legs are in the air and swung over your partner’s shoulders, it allows for the deepest penetration possible, perfect for when you are trying to achieve a screaming oh-ooh-oooh!

Reach down and rub and play with yourself while your partner penetrates you deeply. This not only ensures your clit is teased in the way you like best, but it also offers a super-hot visual for your partner.

Here’s another blog post on exciting ways to spice up sex positions.

woman-BW- blogpost

3 Sex Tips To Drive Her Wild

For many men, the female body can be a challenge to navigate around at the best of times, and pleasing a woman sexually can seem nay on impossible at the worst.

We know this, because our customers share so many intimate details with us. Sometimes customers share because they are over the moon (“I had my first orgasm last night!”), and other times they share out of frustration (“Why doesn’t he just do it the way I want it?!).

A common complaint is that male partners, in particular, are going at it too fast, too hard or in all the wrong places.

What many men haven’t yet realized, is that women need their parts stimulated in the right way for the right amount of time in order to orgasm – and the right way for the right amount of time varies from woman to woman, and even from one sexual encounter to the next.

A number of despairing female customers have asked us to put together a little print-out-and-keep-guide for their guys, so grab yourself a cuppa and settle down coz here we go!

(And, of course, these tips work for any lover of women – not just fellas!)


Nipple sensitivity varies from woman to woman, but for most of us, the nipples are a great place to start. A word of warning here: a lot of guys like to handle the nip-tips like they’re tuning in a radio but trust us, few women enjoy this manhandling move…

Instead, start off gently, teasing, cupping and stroking her breasts. Treat them with the respect they deserve. Once she pushes closer to you, it’s time to get lips and tongue involved.

For added fun, why not drizzle some caramel or chocolate sauce over her nipples – you can then spend however long you like licking it off.

As her breathing increases, lick and suck faster for added intensity. If you really want to excite her, a gentle nibble every now and then will do the trick.

These hands-free nipple massagers are great fun and come highly recommended. They attach directly to the skin around the nipple and offer gentle suction whilst you work your way down her body…


The Clitoris

The clitoris is the holy grail of sexual discovery for most women and it’s also the route to many toe-curling, pillow-grabbing orgasms.

While it is the one place most men head to when they want to pleasure their woman, many go about it the wrong way – thus chasing off the orgasm rather than encouraging it to come gushing on…

How to give her clitoral pleasure

First of all, no one likes a chafed clit so trim your nails, lash on the hand cream and crack open a bottle of vagina-friendly lube: this is all part of your prep.

The clitoris has around 8000 nerve-endings sitting atop it, and these nerve-endings will cry out in pain if you go in all guns blazing: it simply doesn’t work.

Orgasms are a build-up of energy that is released, and therefore the best course of action is to go slow (very slow) (even slower than that) and build up. Think of it as an orgasmic marathon rather than a sprint – pace yourself.

Starting off with oral sex – if she is comfortable with this – is a good idea. The tongue is soft and moist, two things that most vulvas are partial to.

You can add a drop or two of the vagina-friendly lube to the labia lips, clitoris and opening, even if she is feeling rather juicy to the touch. Lube makes tongues, fingers, penises & toys more sensual, and that’s always a bonus!

The most important thing to do is to keep steady with whatever movement she seems to like best. Caress her clitoris using the whole of your tongue, and add in some sucking motions here and there. Nibble on the labia lips, blow gently on her clit (not into the vagina though) and keep your rhythm steady. If she seems to like it, do it again. And again.

Many women worry that they take too long, so reassure her by letting her know there is no place you’d rather be.

Fun Rabbit Ears VibratorWant her to have a truly delicious time? Our Fun Rabbit Ears Vibrator with its vibrating bullet works wonders in the clitoral region. Add a little lube to the soft ears of the rabbit, turn it on and stroke gently around the clit.

Think of the clitoris as a clock-face, and work out what time her Happy Hour is. Many women prefer stimulation of 10-11 or 1-2, but take your time (no pun intended) and work your way around the clit-clock. There will be one or two spots that are far more receptive to your soft touch, and this is where you should focus your attention.

Direct stimulation of the clitoris can be overwhelming, so unless she specifically tells you she wants direct pressure, always tease around the sides of it instead – and this is why the Fun Rabbit works so well, the flexible ears slide along the sides of the clit rather rather than directly on it.

The G-spot

There’s a lot of speculation surrounding the G-spot. Does it really exist or is it just a myth? Where is it located?

Well, we certainly believe in its existence, although it would be fair to say not all women respond the same to stimulation of it.

The area of the G-spot (the Grafenberg spot, named after the guy who ‘discovered’ it) is located about half-a-finger on the front wall of the vagina, a surface that feels less smooth than the rest of the vaginal walls. Blood flows to the area during arousal, and the G-spot becomes easier to locate and stimulate.

Your G-Spot

How to Stimulate Her G-spot

Add a drizzle of lube (see, we told you the lube would come in handy!) to one or two of your fingers, before sliding them into her. Curve your fingers upwards towards her G-spot and stroke in slow but firm come-hither motions. Remember to not go harder or faster until she asks for it.

If penetrative sex is on the cards, it’s worth noting that many women find that woman-on-top positions work best for experiencing intense sexual pleasure and orgasm.

Let her straddle you, and then tilt her hips backwards or forwards (whichever feels best for her). This will allow her to find that sweet spot and she’ll get the pressure she wants.

If you found this helpful and would like more tips & tricks on how to have her hollering the house down with pleasure, just book yourself a ticket to our Guy’s Guide to Female Pleasure!




High Time to Tickle Your Pickle

Masturbation Month, a.k.a May, is in full swing and if you’ve not yet taken time to tickle your pickle, it’s high time to lock the door, pull the curtains and switch off your phone.

Masturbation Month could be seen as something silly and indulgent, or maybe something only ‘sad’ people do; staying in and rubbing one out.

Let’s erase those thoughts right now.

It can be tiresome to hear about the great sex ‘other people’ are having, especially if you believe you are the only one who’s not experiencing regular fireworks and squirt-fests. We meet many women who assume there is something ‘wrong’ with them for this exact reason. There really isn’t – for women, having an orgasm is often a learned thing, a bit like riding a bike. It’s tricky, but once you get the hang of it, it’s bloody marvellous!

Growing up, boys are expected to be sexually curious and their sexuality is celebrated. A dad might congratulate himself when his teenage son is caught masturbating, thinking ‘that’s my boy, he takes after me!’

If a teenage girl is found with her hands down her panties, it’s not unlikely she’ll receive a hissed “what are you doing, stop that!” followed by a shocked or disgusted look from her mother.

Unfair, much?

It can be incredibly hard to smash the shame many of us have had instilled from an early age: it’s not ‘nice’ and we ‘shouldn’t be doing that.’

No wonder it’s hard to relax enough to have orgasms.

Starting off with just your fingers – because they make fantastic sex toys – and a little bit of lube is the best way. Your fingers has an immediate feel and translate the sensations into tiny messages for your brain: soft, coarse, wet and so on.

Feel your way around, feel the folds, the texture of your labia and the slickness as the body gets more turned on.

If you feel comfortable, why not grab a mirror and have a look as well? Colours and shapes change as the body becomes aroused, which can be darn exciting in itself! Your vulva and vagina are unique, just like the rest of you.

Great Wall of Vagina
Great Wall of Vagina

Happy Hour

The clit has a mind-blowing 8000 nervendings sitting atop it, and this is where things can get tricky. If stimulated the wrong way, the clit gets too sensitive and pleasure runs screaming from the room.

The ‘ringing a doorbell’-technique should be banished; pressing long and hard on the little jewel is not going to open the magic door to vaginal Narnia. Ever.

clock faceWomen have what we like to call their Happy Hour: imagine that the clitoris is a clock face (the Clit Face). Many women say that 10-11 or 1-2 are their most sensitive spots.

As small as your clitoris is, there are one or two spots that responds better to stimulation than any other part of your little jewel, and by working out when your personal Happy Hour is, you are well on your way to having an orgasm.


It’s important to keep your pelvic floor in good shape – do your clenches as often as you can: in the bus queue, during dull meetings and whilst watching telly of an evening.

Keeping your pelvic floor toned has a number of health benefits which we’re sure you already know about, but did you know it can help you orgasm too?

An orgasm is a series of involuntary rhythmic contractions of the vagina, and a having a strong pelvic floor can be helpful.

Whilst you’re jiggling your jewel in all manner of wonderful ways, try squeezing your PC muscle in time. It’s what the mighty Betty Dodson calls “fucking forward” – simultaneously stroke, push forward with your hips and clench. Magic!

Buzz Me Up to Heaven Baby

Vibrators are notoriously reliable when it comes to producing orgasms, hence their popularity.  But if you’ve ever had a vibrator and it didn’t work for you, there could be good reasons for that:

1. The Wrong Kind of Vibrator

There area few types of vibes to choose from:

  • Clitoral vibrators – these are typically small and not designed to be used internally. They usually offer a high-pitched buzz.
  • G-spot vibrators –  a shaft with a pronounced curve or bump at the tip, designed to be enjoyed internally. G-spot vibes often deliver rumblier vibrations.
  • Rabbit vibrators – a dual stimulating-type toy, they have a shaft for internal pleasure combined with a clitoral tickler.
  • Wand vibrators – these tend to be large in size (rest assured, they are not for insertion) and offers deep rumbles that shakes you to the bone.
  • Sucking technology vibrators – these are the cool new kids on the block. They create a gentle vacuum and mimic oral sex for stunning sensations.


2. The Wrong Kind of Vibration

Vibrators tend to fall in two categories: high-pitch or low & rumbly. These feel different and we find that women often fall into one of two camps: you need either a high-itched vibe for buzzy thrills, or deep vibrations for rumbly excitement.

The wrong type of vibration could be what isn’t working for you. If you’ve had a bullet vibe for example, and it produced nothing but boredom, try something with a heavier vibration.

3. Not Enough Time

Vibrators are fantastic at multi-tasking, but it would be wrong to assume they magically know what your preferences are. You need to work with the vibe; try different positions, different settings and different speeds. If you have a waterproof toy, you might like to try it in the shower or bath.

And give yourself plenty of time.

Learning how to have an orgasm can take a fair bit of time, a full hour of exploration and stimulation is not unusual. As you get to know your body and its particular likes & dislikes, you’ll be able to cut this time down if you want to.

There is no such thing as a ‘normal’  length of time to have an orgasm. There are a number of things to consider for each and every orgasm achieved:  level of arousal, how relaxed you’re feeling, if fingers or a vibe is being used… All of those things matter when it comes to your pleasure.

Some women can orgasm very quickly, others need more time. There are no rights or wrongs, just remember it’s not a race.

The Wetter the Better

Sh! Paraben-Free LubricantWe are firm believers in a li’l bit of additional lube, whether you are using sex toys or not, or whether you are usually plenty wet. Lube enhances sensations and you may find it makes everything so much more comfortable.

There are many different types of lube to try, but you can never go wrong with a paraben-free, water-based version as it is unlikely to cause irritation. For fancy occasions you might like to switch it up with flavours, warming or tingling options, but if your peach is sensitive, it’s always best to opt for a plainer lubricant with as few ingredients as possible.

Once you start having orgasms, you’ll likely find they are easier to come by. It’s about finding out what works for you – this may mean a good vibe, a certain position or maybe downloadable clips featuring your favourite type of fantasy or porn. As long as you’re having a great time, it’s all good.

Masturbation is about pleasure – your pleasure. You can take as much or as little time as you want or need, and you spend that time wisely: on yourself.

Not having to worry about a partner’s pleasure can be incredibly liberating. We spend so much time worrying about whether other people are having a great time, we forget or ignore our own wants and needs. Masturbation Month reminds us that our pleasure matter too.

Happy Masturbation Month!
Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.

Q&A: Help, I haven’t had sex in 8 years and now I want to try a vibrator.


I have been happily married for 37 years but am currently undergoing couples sexual counselling. I am 58 yrs old, have only had one sexual partner and have never used any sex toys or vibrators. I have not had sex for 8-9 yrs and my counsellor has suggested that using a vibrator might be helpful as we try to reignite our physical relationship. I have looked on your site but do not know where to start. Advice would be really appreciated.



[All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity]

Hi Penny

Many thanks for your email!

A vibrator is a great way to help reignite sex drives that have taken a dive. And we agree – it can be really difficult to choose; there are so many different types…

Let’s see if we can break it down for you.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

Clitoral Vibrators

These vibes are usually small, but can still be very powerful. Their main use is to stimulate on and around the clitoris. They can be stroked, wiggled or just rested in place – try all of those moves to see what you like best.

The egg-shaped vibrator shown in the picture is called the Sh! Easy Egg, and is very popular with our customers. The vibe is covered in a sleeve with nodules on it, and these soft nodules offer extra stimulation. For women who need or like a harder vibration, the sleeve can easily be removed as and when.


G-spot Vibrators

These vibrators are designed for internal use (but they can also be used on the clitoris), and the built-in G-spot seeking curves will help find and stimulate the sensitive area just inside the vagina. It takes a while to coax the shy G-spot out, but it is definitely worth investing some time in exploring this area – you may find it creates fireworks!

For this, you could also try using a G-spot enhancing gel. The gel works by drawing blood to the G-spot, making it firmer, easier to find and much more sensitive to stimulation.


Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25
Sh! Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator £25

Rabbit Vibrators

Rabbit vibrators have got a lot going on: a shaft for internal pleasure and a clitoral simulator for external play at the same time. They look a little tricky to use, but actually, rabbit vibes take care of all your pleasure zones at once – all you need to do is lay back and relax!

Rabbit vibes are the most popular vibrators of all times – it’s a favourite sex toy in millions of bedrooms across the globe. Many, many, women say they’ve had their very first orgasm with the help of the cleverly-designed rabbit ears.



Discreet Vibrator £12 - Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration
Discreet Vibrator £12 – Quiet, Mini Black Vibe with Single Speed Vibration

Choosing the Right Vibrator

Which ever style of vibrator you choose, we’d recommend a opting for a smaller-sized vibe for your first sex toy. It’s been some time since you last had penetrative sex, and it’s not impossible that the sensations will feel “odd” to start off with. Anything too girthy could feel uncomfortable and put you off further exploration. It’s better to go small, as you can always add lengthier or girthier toys when you feel more confident.

Something like our Sh! Discreet could be just the thing for you. This vibe is a tad bigger than an average-sized finger, and it can be used both on the clitoris and internally. It has only one speed, but it’s a really good one… This little marvel can be rested length-ways along the labia, or stroked around the clitoris and also inserted if and when you feel ready.


Add Lubrication

Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality - we highly recommend it!
Lube will enhance sensitivity and sensuality – we highly recommend it!

Adding lube is essential for any kind of  sex play.  At 58, your vaginal membranes will feel drier and tighter – this is normal and natural. To avoid chafing or tearing of sensitive areas, adding a generous drizzle of our Pure Plus lube will be very helpful. Pure Plus is thicker and adds a lovely padded layer on delicate membranes. It’s paraben-free, and it has no taste or scent – just very clean, lush lubricant for more comfortable sex.

(Names Have Been Changed for the Purposes of Anonymity)

If you have any other questions please contact us at advice@sh-womenstore, include the subject line ‘Ask Sarah’ if you’d like your advice from our new sex and relationship expert.

Good luck and remember to have fun!

Love, Team Sh! xx


clitoris advice

How to Use a Clitoral Vibrator

Many clitoral vibrators are shaped to mirror the shape of your lips (labia), so they can be rested, externally long-ways to stimulate the whole vulval area –  an often overlooked region, that is, in fact, highly sensitive.

Learning all about your clitoris and how to pleasure it is key to getting the best from your vibrator, because much of the clitoris is hidden beneath the surface.

We’ve written about how what to consider, when choosing a vibrator for your clitoris, so here we’re going to give you  some tips on how to use it to get the maximum pleasure.

How to Stimulate Your Clitoris with a Vibrator

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator
Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator – Egg or bullet-shaped vibe are great to stimulate your whole vulva…


Rather than just diving directly for your clitorial tip ( the ultra sensitive pea-shaped button at the top of your inner lips, that we all know as ‘The Clitoris’ ) , start by using your vibrator to stimulate around the whole outer region.

Beneath here, there is lots of erectile tissue so stimulation will cause blood to pump into the area, making  you very aroused , wet and swollen.



For most women the best place to stimulate the clitoris is not directly on the clitoral tip itself as this can sometimes feel far too intense to be pleasurable.


Clitoral Pleasure Vibe - Shaped to stimulate the sides of the clitoris...
Clitoral Pleasure Vibe – Shaped to stimulate the sides of the clitoris…


Try slightly off to one side – image your clitoris as clockface and explore the areas around then 11 ‘ clock or 1 O’clock – many women say these times feel really good for them…



How to Use a Rabbit Vibe
How to Use a Rabbit Vibe

One of the main reasons Rabbit Vibrators are popular is because the split bunny ear of the clitoral simulator deliver tingles to the super-sensitive sides..


Everyone feels things differently, but if you are trying a clitoral vibrator for the first time, try “approaching” your clitoris from the side, starting with your vibrator on a lower setting.

Explore the whole area, focusing on where feels really good before working up to high powered, mind-blowing crescendo…




The Pros & Cons of Strong Clitoral Vibes

Sh! Secret Vibrator (£35) Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings
Sh! Secret Vibrator (£35) Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings


Clitoral vibrators are often really powerful which many women find great for clitoral stimulation, especially if they have difficulty achieving orgasm.




But strong vibrators, can sometimes de-senstitize the your clitoris …

Wand Massagers are the strongest clitoral vibrators know to woman...
Wand Massagers are the strongest clitoral vibrators know to woman…

They can also give you numb fingers if you handle the vibrating element too much. If this happens, just nestle the vibrator between your lady-lips, lie back and explore the wide variety of vibrations and sensations on offer.

To tone-down too-strong vibrations, cup the vibrator in the palm of your hand and enjoy subtle vibrations through your fingertips.

If you find the vibrations too strong for your clitoris to enjoy, you can  wrap your vibrator in some fabric or a towel, which will tone down the intensity.



How to take care of your clit vibe

Aphrodisia Dual Vibe
When cleaning or handling, be careful not to water inside or, if it has a separate batter pack, not to loosen the connections…

Make sure you clean your clitoral vibe after every outing. Unless you have chosen a waterproof vibrator, be careful not to get any water inside the battery area or where the connecting wire (if your vibe has one) attaches to the toy.

Vibrators with separate battery packs may seem clumsy or a bit ‘old school’ but actually they are great for being able to lie back, close your eyes and control sensations from your hand, rather than having to fumble for the faster/slower buttons between your legs. For some women, this can help with the ‘switching the mind off’ that’s essential to orgasm.

They also make handling the controls over to your partner easier.

If your clitoral vibrator does have a separate battery pack,  it’s important not to put pressure on the connection. If a vibrator is constantly dangled by the wire, the connection will weaken over time and you may find it delivers a frustratingly intermittent buzz or even stops working all together.



clitoris advice

How to Choose a Clitoral Vibrator

The size and shape of a clitoral vibrator is less important than the sensations it delivers.

Any vibrator can be used for clitoral pleasure and most women use their vibrator solely on or around their clitoris and vulva during masturbation. But we all have different sensitivities and responses, so getting the right kind of stimulation is key; A vibrator that is too powerful for one woman and desensitizes her might be just the thing for the next women, who needs strong intensity to get off.

So, when choosing a clitoral vibrator, it’s good to think about how much clitoral stimulation you need to become aroused or to orgasm.

If orgasms come easily to you through clitoral stimulation and you know the level of stimulation you enjoy; mild, medium, strong or wowser! – Use the ‘intensity’ filters (on the left hand side of our category pages) to take your pick of any  vibrator that takes your fancy.

If you are new to the whole idea of dedicated clitoral pleasure and have little idea of the kind of stimulation you might like, then we recommend exploring with your fingers and some lubricant first.

This way you can get some idea of the sensations you enjoy and how firmly or fluttery you might enjoy them.

If you are unsure of the kind of clitoral stimulation you enjoy, use your fingers and lube to explore and discover...
If you are unsure of the kind of clitoral stimulation you enjoy, use your fingers and lube to explore and discover…


It may seem like the most obvious statement in the book, but you will only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation if that stimulation is pleasing to you!

In the same way that a milder vibe might be too subtle for some, a super powerful vibe can be a turn-off for for others. The wrong-type can lead to frustration or  even ( horrors!) vibrator-rejection but the thing to remember is, like women themselves, vibrators come in all sorts of intensities.

In general, vibrators with a ”higher pitched” vibration make for better clitoral toys and those with a lower, heavier, deeper vibration are better for penetration.

We have rated all our vibrators for these two types of intensity: High Intense  &   Deep Throbby.


For those who enjoy full-blast power, feel they need strong, firm clitoral stimulation or have reduced sensation ‘down there’, a vibrator with a ‘high intense’ rating is likely to be the best choice.

Vibrators with a ‘Strong’ or ‘Wowser’ rating are some of the most powerful vibes know to woman, and most likely to bring about a spontaneous clitoral orgasm.

Sh! Bullet Vibrator - £10 - Afordable, powerful and perfect for extra strong clitoral stimulation during sex
Sh! Bullet Vibrator – £10 – Afordable, powerful and perfect for extra strong clitoral stimulation during sex
Ultra 7 Egg Vibrator £30 Extreemly Powerful Vibrating Bullet: 7 Settings
Ultra 7 Egg Vibrator £30 – Extremely Powerful Vibrating Bullet: 7 Settings
Love Bullet Silver Lipstick £25
Love Bullet Silver Lipstick £25 – Discreet, Rechargeable Mini Vibe: 8 Vibrating Settings



Remember, whilst our clitoral vibrators have all been chosen because they are shaped or particularly recommended for external pleasure, ANY vibrator can be pressed into clit-pleasing service, so you may wish to browse our full range.

Filtering results on our main vibrator pages to show all toys with a ‘Strong’ or ‘Wowser’ rating, will give you the most choice, whilst doing the same on the sub categories ( clitoral vibrators/rabbit/wands etc) will whittle them down…



Cordless Wand Massager £50 Rechargeable Magic Wand Vibrator with Soft Flexible head: 10 Settings
Cordless Wand Massager £50 Rechargeable Magic Wand Vibrator with Soft Flexible head: 10 Settings

If you are one of the many, many women who sometimes find their mind or body unresponsive to sex, keeping a really high-powered vibe buzzing away on your clitoris can be a good way of awakening your body’s response

And where the body leads, the mind will often follow…

Many Sexologists recommend a Wand Massager for women who find orgasm tricky or illusive because they offer so much more power and intensity than a battery-operated vibe.






Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 - Slim Dual Pleasure Bunny Vibe: 12 Vibrating Settings
Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 – Slim Dual Pleasure Bunny Vibe: 12 Vibrating Settings

If you know that you are sensitive ‘down there’ and prefer a soft, subtle touch to caress your clitoris, try a soft-feel vibe that has the variety to offer gentler vibrations.

Many women swear by the clit-pleasing bunny ears of Rabbit Vibrator as they stimulate the sides of the clitoris, rather  rather directly on it.

This is better if you prefer a more diffused clitoral touch or find direct clitoral stimulation actually turns your clit off…

Cute Rabbit Ears Massager £35 - Vibrating Pink Silicone Clitoral Bunny: 10 Settings
Cute Rabbit Ears Massager £35 – Vibrating Pink Silicone Clitoral Bunny: 10 Settings

Many women have told us they use their regular bunny vibrator purely for clitoral stimulation ( ‘I don’t even bother with the shaft thingy!’) so for a dedicated bunny-ear clit vibrator, there’s the Rabbit Ears Vibrator.

For advice on how to choose, use  and enjoy rabbit vibes, check out our rabbit vibrator advice.

If you find a vibe too intense, simply wrap it in a piece of fabric to soften the vibrations.

You can filter for ‘Gentle’ or ‘Medium’ intensity rating on our vibrator pages.




Secret Vibrator £35 - - Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings
Secret Vibrator £35 – Small Vibrating Silicone Clitoral Egg: 20 Powerful Settings

In general, most women need sustained clitoral stimulation to orgasm and on average, for 20 minutes or more.

A vibrator can certainly speed things up ( if you want it to!) but the other variant among women is the kind of consistency they need to orgasm.

Some need stimulation to consistent and changing the stimulation can, like a snakes and ladders game, take them back to square one.

Other can find they become too accustomed, or even bored, by lots of samey clit stimulation.

Thankfully, these days most vibrators offer different patterns of vibration, as well as a steady, regular buzz, as standard.

For women who want to be taken on a journey  of different sensations, a high-tech clitoral vibrator like Secret Vibrator offers 20 ( yes -20!) pulsating and escalating settings to keep you, and your clitoris, surprised and, we hope, delighted!


Lily Remote Control Bullet £34 - Vibrator Small, Slim Vibe Controlled by Wireless Handset: 7 Vibrating Patterns
Lily Remote Control Bullet £34 – Vibrator Small, Slim Vibe Controlled by Wireless Handset: 7 Vibrating Patterns

Or you could really rev up the anticipation by playing with a remote controlled vibe with your partner controlling the vibrator’s buzz – that will certainly keep your clitoris alert!




We hope this has helped you choose the best clitoral vibrator for you and be sure to read how to use a clitoral vibrator to get more ideas on how to play. 

If you would like any more advice, fee free to get in touch for individual advice and recommendations