Beginners Guide to Buying first Strap On

Buying Your First Sex Toy

Are you boggled with choice? Overwhelmed by all the different types of sex toys available? Don’t know where to start?

It’s usual for first-time sex toy buyers to feel overwhelmed, but don’t give up!

Follow these simple tips to get started on your sex toy discovery…

For your first sex toy; Go with what you know…

If you are totally new to playing with sex toys, we advise you choose a toy that suits the kind of pleasure you enjoy best… or if you want to discover a new kind of pleasure, choose a toy that is dedicated to that pleasure area.

[We’re keeping this article quite simple, and concentrating on the main ‘never bought a toy before’ questions that arise in our London Store and the advice we give, but if a style of toy or pleasure centre isn’t covered, click here for all our My First Beginners Sex Toy Guides ]

  • Ask yourself: What do I enjoy or what am I looking to explore?

clitoris advice

Clitoral Pleasure:  If you particularly enjoy clitoral stimulation (and most women do!) ,  never had an orgasm or find they can be frustratingly hit-or-miss, a vibrator is the best first sex toy for you.

The majority of women buying their first sex toy at our London store will buy a vibrator for clitoral pleasure.

Each of our  vibrator pages has advice articles ( on the left hand side of the page) which will guide you through what to look for when choosing a particular style of  vibrator.

The most important thing to remember is that ANY vibrator, whatever it’s size or shape can be used for clitoral pleasure, so you don’t need to get too hung-up on size and shape at this stage.

Vibration is a whole new and different type of clitoral stimulation and one that many, MANY women love and it’s not uncommon for women to have their first orgasm with added vibration.

Clitoral and Bullets & Eggs Vibes are the place to head for dedicated clit-pleasing vibrators.

Read More:

 

G-Spot Advice
G-Spot Advice

Penetration/G-spot pleasure:  If you’re more into internal stimulation, or would like to explore it, your first toy needs to be a penetrative shape (rather than a smaller vibrator designed for external/clitoral pleasure)

If you are playing solo, we  would advise the best first toy for penetrative or G-spot pleasure is also a vibrator (rather than a dildo)  because it will also give you option of vibration.

Rabbit and G-Spot vibrators are the places to head…

Again,  these pages give advice on choosing each style of toy, which is useful for newbies and seasoned buyers alike.

Read More:

Beginners anal advice

Anal pleasure:  We don’t give many commands, but safe pleasure is when we get bossy! Exploring backdoor play,  means buying a  dedicated anal toy – ie one that is specially designed for anal pleasure, with a shape that prevents it disappearing inside and potentially getting lost.

An anal toy must have a wise base, handle or finger-ring so you can keep a firm grip on it.  As an area rich in delicious sensations, but also one that can be painful if not done correctly, exploring anal pleasure can be a bit of a tightrope walk, so we would highly recommend reading through all our anal advice  to ensure yours is all pleasure and no pain.

Read More:

  • Beginners Guide: My First Anal Toy

Don’t feel like you have to spend ££’s on your first sex toy.

Until you’ve tried a toy, it’s impossible to know what will give you a thrill – and because every woman is different, there’s no magic one-toy-suits-all.

Like an expensive face cream, spending a lot on a first sex toy can give unreasonable expectations of what it will deliver.

If you are new to the sensations of vibration, for instance, starting with a simple battery-operated one will give you a introduction to what a vibrator feels like.

And there’s no point going for the poshest anal  toy on the block if you are going to back away from it every time it comes out of the box!


 

For your first vibrator; Think the 3 S’s – Sound, Sensations & Simple!

Sound: As a first-time toy explorer, a vibrator that is too loud may put you off enjoying it fully.  As a newbie, enjoying a buzzing bedfellow for the first time,  can feel embarrassing, especially in a shared house where kids, parents or housemates might hear.  No vibrator is completely silent (use the filter on the vibrator pages to show you quiet vibrators ) then lock the door, put on some music and enjoy!

Sensations: Some women need really strong stimulation to get pleasure, whereas others find this kind of touch desensitizing or even sometimes painful. The best way to cover all bases is to choose a toy with many different speed settings so you can explore. On each product page , the Technical Info Tab tells you what your vibrator offers.

Simple: A toy that’s complicated to operate or one that requires you to read a 10 page manual before you start, may put you off. We recommend beginners should start with one that has simple, intuitive operation.  We’ve rated each of our toys as Easy/ Middling or Tricky ( but worth it!) and we advise your first toy should definitely be ‘easy’!


 

For penetrative first toys; Think small!

Until you know your perfect size,  it’s better to think small.  This isn’t a competition! A toy that is too big will feel more uncomfortable than sexy.

Length: With a penetrative toy, you can always control how deep it goes inside, so one that is too long is not necessarily a problem…

Width: A toy that is too wide for you is likely to feel intimidating, thus unpleasurable and unlikely to get many 2nd outings. Certainly there maybe times when we may want to upgrade ( though in our experience talking to customers, not half as many as size-jokes and porn films would have us believe!) but for a first-toy newbie, start slim.


 

Remember, your first sex toy needn’t be ‘The One’ !

This is just the beginning of your journey, so don’t get too hung up on finding your perfect sex toy.  We know that the biggest obstacle to buying your first sex toy can be because you’re overwhelmed by choice ( even though we’ve cherry-picked the best for you!)  but, like any adventure, it’s best to just take the plunge and find a starting point.

That’s why we recommend starting small, inexpensive and simple. then later, if you find you want something stronger / gentler /  larger, your first choice will point you in the right direction for when you want to upgrade.


couples sex toy advice

lesbian sex toys advice

6 Tips for Buying a First Sex Toy for Partner

  • If you’re buying a toy to use with a partner, especially if they are new to toys, read How to Introduce a Sex Toy  which gives advice on how to bring up the conversation.
  • Partners can feel sensitive around sex toys, so it’s important to ensure that they feel included, and not replaced!
  • Browsing our website or visiting the Sh! store together is a great way to introduce the idea of sex toys to your relationship and it allows you to pick something you’d both like to try.
  • If you’re planning to surprise your partner, go for something playful and approachable.
  • If your partner is male, we would advise against introducing a first toy that is penetrative in shape as it can feel confusing (do you want to use it on him?!) or a criticism ( isn’t he enough for you?!)
  • A small external vibrator he too may enjoy or a cock-ring you can enjoy together during sex are both good first toys for playing with male partners.

Buying a first vibrator for a friend

6 Tips for Buying a First Vibrator for Friend

  • Buying a beginners vibe as a present can be THE best gift for a friend, especially if your friend might be shy about buying one for herself.
  • Receiving a first vibe as a present can help a friend discover new pleasures without feeling any embarrassment about having bought it for herself.
  • A first-toy gift should be fun and non-scary.
  • The Clitoral Appetizer Set contains everything needed to start enjoying a buzz all packed up in a gift box, ready to unwrap and enjoy…
  • We know of lots of women who recieved their first rabbit vibrator as a gift from a friend – to their eternal gratitude.
  • If you are giving a first vibrator or sex toy as a gift, only you know how is best to give it, but we’d never recommend making her unwrap it during a family dinner! Give sex toy gifts with the discretion they deserve!

 

If you have any questions or want advice on buying your first toy, please do Email Us or call us on 03333 444 005.

Q&A Ask Sh!

Q&A: Best Toy for Anal Sex: Butt Plug or Dildo?

Dear Sh!

Please could you give me some advice on which is best toy for anal sex – a  butt plug or a dildo?

I’m kind of new to all this and would appreciate some advice.

Thanks in advance…

Alex

 

Hi Alex,

So, choosing the right kind of sex toy for anal play depends on how you want to use the toy and the kind of  pleasure you’d like to experience from it. But as a beginner it’s very difficult to know!

Probably the best way it to start your anal discovery with a finger, covered in a condom or latex glove, if you’d prefer….

Cover both your anus and finger with some lube and gently, with patience, start exploring.

Going in will essentially feel the same, but once up there, do you prefer simply the feeling of fullness of your finger staying put or do you prefer a sliding in and out motion?

 

Beginners Butt Plug £15
Beginners Butt Plug £15

Butt Plugs – Best For Feelings of Still Fullness…

If you more prefer a feeling of fullness, then a butt plug is a great anal sex toy for you as, after the initial insertion,  it’s not designed for much movement, beyond a slight wiggle or tilt.

The narrow neck at a butt plug’s base is what makes it stay in place – your sphincture muscle will naturally close around where it is narrowest – so, whilst there are no rules to how you must play with any sex toys and you can make small in-out movements with it,  it may feel jarring to try to slide a butt plug in-and-out once this muscle has tensed around the narrow neck portion.

A butt plug is a good toy to get a ‘feel’ of what it’s like simply to have something up your bum, which in itself can be very arousing.

 

 

 

 

Wirly Girly 2 - Our most popular anal dildo
Wirly Girly 2 – Our most popular anal dildo

Anal Dildos – Best for In-and-Out Strokes…

If you crave a feeling of stroking in-and-out, then a dildo is actually the best toy for this kind of anal pleasure, because they have regular shafts, with no pronounced narrowing.

Again, there’s NO rules and you can simply slide a dildo inside and hold it there with no movement. But, unlike a butt plug, you can’t really let go, as the anus’ natural instinct is to (ahem) ‘expel’ …so it will start to slide out.

Our dildos start from finger- size, like the Wirly Girly 1 Slim Dildo, so even if you are new to anal sex, you won’t be feel overwhelmed.

If you plan to  strap on a dildo for anal sex with your male or female lover, then you’ll need a longer dildo such as Wirly Girly 2 Slim Dildo  or, even Wirly Girly 3 Slim Dildo as some of the dildo’s length is lost once it’s worn in a harness.

Both these styles are super popular anal dildos; slim enough for unintimidating anal sex, with gently ribbed shafts for stimulating the responsive nerve-endings in the anal canal and the extra length allows for proper strokes, without the toy slipping out altogether which can be frustrating!

The bases of all Sh! dildos & butt plugs are all safe for anal play as they flare enough to prevent dildos from slipping inside and getting lost inside.

Remember, whenever you play – lubricant is your friend and absolutely key to pleasurable anal sex, so whichever toy you choose, treat it and yourself with a lovely coat of lube to ensure maximum glide and pleasure.

Hope this helps and do give us a shout if you need any more advice

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity

 

advice sex toys

How To Choose The Right Sex Toy

Whether a sex-toy virgin, looking for a first vibrator or budding sexpert seeking new toys, the most important thing to think about, when choosing a sex toy, is what you want to get out of your toy.

Ask yourself; What is the main type of pleasure I want from my sex toy ?

It’s easy to get boggled or diverted by all the different styles of playthings available, but in order to find the right sex toy for you, one that will meet your expectations and deliver the kind of pleasure you’re looking for, the best starting point is to zone in on exactly what you want its main job to be…

For clitoral pleasure –  choose a vibrator

The best toy,  for intense stimulation of the external clitoris and vulva is a vibrator.

If you're looking for a sex toy to give dedicated clitoral pleasure, a vibrator is the best toy for you to choose...
If you’re looking for a sex toy to give dedicated clitoral pleasure, a vibrator is the best toy for you to choose…

Many people assume the way to use a vibrator is inside, replicating intercourse, but actually 80% of women only use theirs externally on or around their clitoris, during masturbation.

Your Clitoris & How to Pleasure It...
Your Clitoris & How to Pleasure It…

Clitoral stimulation is key to most women’s orgasms.

No wonder, then, that vibrators are the most popular sex toy choice for most women shopping at Sh! and the kind we advise most about.

Any toy that vibrates will stimulate your clitoris,  so feel free to choose any vibrator that appeals to you.

 

Sh! Bullet Vibrator £10
Sh! Bullet Vibrator £10
Womanizer Clitoral Suction Toy £129
Womanizer Clitoral Suction Toy £129

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can spend as little as £10, up to well over £100. Choosing the right vibrator is a very personal choice and we have LOTS of advice to help you. If you’d like tailored advice, give us a call and we’ll be happy to talk through the best options for you.

Read more from advice categories:

Read more specific advice:

For internal pleasure: choose a vibrator or a dildo

You’ll see from the picture above, your clitoris has two shafts that loop inside and hug the vagina. Your vaginal entrance is also packed with sensitive nerve-endings, so intense pleasure can come from inside too.

Choosing the right shape and size of a penetrative toy IS important.

The right toy for penetrative pleasure is something of a Goldilocks choice; One that’s too big or wide for you will feel uncomfortable, just as a toy that’s too small or slim will feel unfulfilling.

The best way is to think of ( or measure!) the size of your preferred penetrative pleasure object ( fingers? penis? another sex toy?) and  go for similar proportions.

 

Desire Vibrator £49
A vibrator with a shaft can be enjoyed for penetrative, as well as clitoral pleasure
Cupid 3 Vibrating Dildo £50
A dildo is also a good choice if you are looking for penetrative pleasure

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite the jokes, size isn’t everything. Every woman is different, which is why we stock penetrative toys, whether a dildo or a vibrator, from tiny size up.

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For both inside and out  – choose a Rabbit

Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 A Rabbit vibrator delivers combined internal and clitoral stimulation, offering the possibility for a 'blended' orgasm
Sh! Rabbit Vibrator £25 A Rabbit vibrator delivers combined internal and clitoral stimulation, offering the possibility for a ‘blended’ orgasm

 

 

One of the most famous sex toys in history, the rabbit vibrator offers amazing dual sensations.

Internal massage is combined with intense clitoral stimulation.

Millions of women agree that it’s a winning combination!

 

Read more:

 


 

 

For stronger orgasms through PC Muscle/ Kegal workout – choose love balls

 

Love balls are 2 weighted spheres designed to strengthen the PC muscle, which, in time  will give you stronger orgasms
Love balls are 2 weighted spheres designed to strengthen the PC muscle, which, in time will give you stronger orgasms

 

The key to stronger, longer, more certain orgasms is a strong PC muscle, which you learn to flex during sex is key.

They also seem to be imposrtant to learning how to female ejaculate or ‘squirt’

Love balls, made famous in Fifty Shades of Grey, are 2 heavy balls that you wear inside (vaginally)

The weight means that you naturally tense your PC muscle to keep them in place.

Many women also tell us they find them pleasurable to wear in themselves, as they twirl around in response to your movements.

Read More

 

 


For your G-Spot – Choose a vibrator or dildo that’s specially shaped for G-Spot pleasure

 

There’s lots of hoo-haw recently about whether the G-Spot exists. We don’t believe there’s been enough proper ‘evidence’ of this and prefer to go on personal research!

It might be that we don’t all respond in the same way but, whether it’s part of the internal clitoris or indeed a special magical ( and illusive!) spot, many, many women report a difference in sensations and orgasmic qualities that come from inside…

Your G-Spot
Your G-Spot

So, we will continue to call it the ‘G-Spot’ and give advice that is gathered from talking to 1000’s of women.

A  toy that has a curved or bulbous head is best suited to finding and stimulating the G-Spot  more easily and more comfortably, than a straight-sided toy.

A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous tip can find & stimulate the G-Spot more easily, than a straight toy
A vibrator with a curved and/or bulbous tip can find & stimulate the G-Spot more easily, than a straight toy
The G-Spot responds to pressure & firm massage, more than vibration, making a Glass dildo a great toy for G-spotting
The G-Spot responds to pressure & firm massage, more than vibration, making a Glass dildo a great toy for G-spotting…
Honey G-Spot Silicone Dildos are ergonomically curved to massage 'special spots'
Honey G-Spot Silicone Dildos are ergonomically curved to massage ‘special spot’

 

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His Prostate – Choose a vibrator or dildo that is specially shaped for P-Spot pleasure

 

Men have their own special spot, called the Prostate Gland, that can give them amazing orgasms...
The Prostate Gland, can give men amazing orgasms…

 

Whist we’re on the subject of ‘special spots’ men have their own, comparable to the G-Spot, called the Prostate.

Located in their bum, lots of men are are discovering the amazing orgasmic capabilities of their Prostate.

Like any toy destined for anal pleasure, a Prostate Massager must be a safe shape so it doesn’t get lots up there.

Rocks Off Naughty Boy £49 - World famous 'hands-free' prostate massager for him
Rocks Off Naughty Boy £49 – World famous ‘hands-free’ prostate massager for him
Wild Swan £20 - Any G-Spot Vibrator with a wide base can safely be enjoyed for prostate massage too...
Wild Swan £20 – Any G-Spot Vibrator with a wide base can safely be enjoyed for prostate massage too…

 

 

Both your G-Spot and his Prostate respond to pressure and motion better than vibration. which is why a silicone dildo is great for G-Spot and prostate pleasure, plus with 30+ sizes & shapes, all with anal-safe bases, there’s also more choice…

 

Read More:

 


 

To enhance intercourse – choose a couple’s toy

 

Lelo Noa £65 - Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time...
Lelo Noa £65 – Designed to be worn during intercourse to stimulate your clitoris & G-Spot at the same time…

Over 70% of women find orgasm difficult or impossible through penetration alone and adding a clitoral buzz helps.

Intercourse enhancing toys are specially designed to address this.

Worn by the woman during penetrative sex, these C-shaped vibrators hug the clitoris ( the larger arm) and the G-Spot ( the smaller arm) , whilst leaving room for her partner too.

 

 

 

 

A Vibrating Cock-Ring delivers a clitoral buzz for you, plus a pleasurable squeeze for him, during intercourse
Vibrating Cock-Ring  is a fun toy for added stimulation during intercourse

 

A vibrating cock-ring is also a good sex toy for couples.

A stretchy ring that  is worn at the base of his penis, it will deliver at pleasurable squeeze to him and he’ll feel the vibration too.

The vibrating portion is designed to stimulate your clitoris during penetration,

 

 

 

Discreet toys to slip on your finger will not feel like you've introduced a threesome...
Discreet toys won’t feel like you’ve introduced a threesome…

A discrete toy such as a vibrator for your finger or a tongue vibrator are great if you want to  introduce a sex toy to your partner.

Stylish designer vibrators are also a good choice as they make non-threatening bed-fellows for couples to share and enjoy together.

 

 

 

Penis Extension Sleeves
Penis Extension Sleeves

 

Want to feel a little bit more? For years we’ve rejected penis extension toys for being both iccky and impractical, but finally some have come on to the market that get the Sh! seal of approval.

Designed to slip over his meat n’ 2 veg, they add extra girth to his penis, whilst giving him a stimulating sensation from the textured interior.

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For backdoor pleasure – Choose a specially designed anal toy.

It's important that a toy desined for anal pleasure is a safe shape, with a wide base, so it can't get 'lost' up there...
It’s important that a toy designed for anal pleasure is a safe shape, with a wide base, so it can’t get ‘lost’ up there…

 

Things can get lost up the bum so it’s very important to use properly designed anal toys, rather than regular ones.

Whether beads, plugs or vibrators, all our toys for anal pleasure are super-smooth and safe, with bases or rings to safeguard them from slipping all the way inside.

The wide bases and hygienic material of silicone dildos also make great anal toys .

Read more:

 

For His Pleasure – Choose a male masturbator

Cool male masturbators - no fake lady lips, just great toys for male pleasure.
Cool male masturbators – no fake lady lips, just great toys for male pleasure.

Whether it’s him to enjoy solo or for you to play with together, a male masturbator is a fabulous sex toy for men – a stimulating sleeve that will deliver a hand-job from heaven!

We don’t stock any ‘realistic’ toys and this extends, of course, to our male sex toys selection. So they make great gifts, without stirring up any weird feelings about them being ‘replacements or ‘replicas’ for the ‘real thing’

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For Strap On  Sex – Choose a silicone dildo teamed with a strap on harness

2 Strap Harness Hand-made in our London Studio & available in a wide range of sizes and colours £45
2 Strap Harness Hand-made in our London Studio & available in a wide range of sizes and colours £45

 

 

 

For sex with a strap-on, whether as a lesbian couple or for pegging, the most popular and versatile option is to buy a harness, along with a dildo.

We don’t rate ‘fused’ strap-ons as one size most definitely DOES NOT fit all!

Fused strap-ons ( where the dildo is permanently attached to a harness) are also impossible to clean the dildo effectively.

That’s why we hand-produce our own range of harnesses and silicone dildos in our London studio, giving you a huge range of sizes, so every preference is covered.

 

Sh! dildos are hand-poured in super safe silicone and come in a range of over 30 fifferent sizes, meaning there's a perfect dildo, whatever your preference!
Sh! dildos are hand-poured in super safe silicone and come in a range of over 30 fifferent sizes, meaning there’s a perfect dildo, whatever your preference!

 

 

Choosing your harness and dildo individually gives the most bespoke strap-on possible.

Or choose one of our Strap On Kits

 

Best Strap-On Kit £99
Best Strap-On Kit £99

 

They are specially selected to contain everything you need to get started.

 

 

 

 

Pegging Strap On Kit £89
Pegging Strap On Kit £89

 

 

 

 

 

 


For strap-on style sex, without a harness, choose a strapless dildo

Strapless dildos are designed for strap-on style sex without a harness
Strapless dildos are designed for strap-on style sex without a harness

Strapless Strap-Ons offer a different way to enjoy strap-on sex.

They require no harness but strong PC muscles to operate!

A strapless is better suited to close, intimate ‘grinding-together’ than wild thrusting

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Remember – Lube Enhances All Play!

Sh! Lube £10 - Available in Hybrid, Paraben-free and Anal formulars
Sh! Lube £10 – Available in Hybrid, Paraben-free and Anal formulars

Once you have chosen your toys, remember to add lube.

It enhances all erotic play, reduces friction and making everything you do super-sensual, whether with a lover or solo, using sex toys, hands or body to body. We promise you wont regret it!

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