Cherry Lube Blog Post

Different Ways To Enjoy Lube

When it comes to having great sex, lube just doesn’t get the recognition that it deserves. Old-fashioned thinking will have us believe that as long as a woman is properly turned on, she should produce enough love juices to coat every manhood in the neighbourhood.

Not so, friendlies!

There are many reasons why a vagina might be feeling dry or uncomfortable, and most of them have nothing to do with arousal. Perhaps it’s down to dehydration, tiredness, hormones or medication. Or, maybe she’d been enjoying a particularly long sesh and the well has finally run dry, so to speak… It is possible to feel incredible turned on and ready, but the vag may still be bone dry. It’s just one of those things.

Lube can make such a huge different to your pleasure, and it’s not just for penetrative pleasures (another myth).

If you haven’t yet discovered the benefits of using lube during play, read on for some of our recommendations about how it can be easily incorporated into sexy activities.

Lube is a great addition to masturbation

Have you ever considered adding some slick lube to your menage a moi sessions? Dry skin is common during the winter so if you are using your hands, a good lube will reduce the friction and make it a much more pleasurable experience. Lube makes your juice parts slip-slidey  and will often enhances sensations.

And if you want to amp up the heat even more, check out our range of vibrators.

Use a drop of lube inside condoms

If you’re tired of hearing dudes complain about how condoms ruin sex, try squeezing a couple of drops of condom-safe lube inside the rubber before you slip it over his peen. The added moisture helps him feel more if he’s missing the wetness of your lush love-box. Great for ensuring that sex is both pleasurable and safe at the same time!

Add flavour to oral sex

Who doesn’t love oral sex? It’s a tasty treat for everyone involved, and a soft tongue licking & lapping builds up arousal in no time! A glycerine-free flavoured lube is perfect for this, and we recommend giving the banana-flavoured Frutopia ID lubricant a go; it’s a firm favourite with guests at our classes.

Don’t just reserve it for oral sex though, why not use some lube on your nipples during sex to increase sensitivity?

Use lube for sensual massages

There is nothing sexier than the physical touch and a hybrid lube (water-based lube with a dash of silicone to make it smoother and more long-lasting) can be used all over the body for long, slow massages

Stat at the top and work you way down and around their body. For an explosive finale, add a generous amount of lube to your juicy parts and rub, bump & grind together without any kind of penetration – this is effective for creating both intimacy and intense orgasms.

Always use lube for anal play

This is probably the most obvious uses for lube and if you are interested in trying anal sex for the first time, we recommend getting yourself a handy pump-bottle because you’ll need a fair bit of the slippy stuff. Pure Plus anal lube is extra thick and long-lasting, ensuring the delicate membranes of the tush are protected during all finger, toy & penis-play.

 

 

Lips B&W

Creative Juices: I Make You Suffer

We’re very excited about this third instalment of Creative Juices; a sex fantasy called I Make You Suffer by Alexandra Grey. It’s a sassy piece, focusing on female pleasure.

 

At this point Alexandra doesn’t have a Twitter handle or website for you to visit, but we hope to have her write for Creative Juices again.

 

Until then, here’s her fantasy for you to enjoy!

 


 I MAKE YOU SUFFER by Alexandra Grey

I like to think about what it would be like if you wanted to fuck me, and I made you suffer for it.

We’re somewhere private, maybe a bathroom or cloakroom. Leaning up against a shadowy wall, there’s distant music and voices, but mostly we’re absorbed in each other. My back is against the wall and you’re grinding your pelvis into mine, and dropping kisses down my neck. I’m melting into the sensation – I’ve been drinking, everything is warm and a little fuzzy. You say ‘please…please…’ into my ear. I respond by laughing, not really taking you seriously. The kisses move back up my neck and you kiss my mouth, pushing my head back into the wall, penetrating me with your tongue until I sigh.

You move your lips back down my neck, down into my cleavage. Grazing the tops of my breasts with your mouth, almost instinctively, you move your hand up to press it against one of them and squeeze slightly. I laugh again, and push them away, and you make a little disappointed noise into my collarbone. The noise entertains me; I’m revelling in your neediness and the power I have over you. I place my hands on your hips, and pull them suddenly into me, making you gasp. As your hands go back to my body I take them and place them flat against my chest, just above where the curvature of my breasts starts, and I push them, sliding them down my torso, almost ignoring your reaction while I enjoy the sensation.

I lean back against the wall and look at your from under my eyelids. You take this as an invitation and lean in to kiss me but I dodge your mouth and turn away to accept your kisses on my neck. You’re becoming frustrated and you unconsciously ball up some of my dress in your fist, and at first I soothe you by starting to kiss your mouth – but it’s deceptive, and after kissing you deeply for a moment I pull back to see you looking hungrily at me. I bring my hand up to your mouth and slide in a finger, hooking it over your teeth and pulling you close to my face. ‘Did you want to…?’ I say. You nod insistently.

I push us off the wall and turn us around so that your back is against it and I’m leaning on you, pushing my face into your neck as I say ‘…No, we can’t…not here…’. As I’m saying this I grind my crotch into yours. I can feeling your cock under my pelvis, starting to get hard. You swallow and try to breath normally. You almost want to push me away, to end the frustration, but my hands are now massaging your bottom through your trousers as I make lazy circles with my hips, making you harder and unable to go back to the party. I pull back and watch your face as I slowly unzip your trousers, and slide my hand inside to gently rub the head of your cock through your boxers. You gasp and realise how dry your mouth is. You’re almost nervous, this wasn’t how you expected this detour to go.

My hand is warm and soft as I pull your cock out of your trousers. I start making lazy circles with my thumb around the tip of your cock. You stifle a moan. This encourages me, I’m enjoying your discomfort as if it was touch and I make it worse by gently stroking one of your nipples through your shirt with my nail. The noises you’re suppressing become more pathetic and insistent. You’ve stopped touching me, your palms are now flat against the wall behind you, more to stay standing than anything else.

I chuckle and pause, looking up at you. ‘Do you want to put your cock inside me?’ You can only get out a ‘yeah’ and I say ‘Just stay there. If you move, I’ll leave’.

Still with my body pressed against yours, while I look into your eyes, I reach down and slide up my dress. When I reach my waist, my dress gathered in one hand, I turn around and, hooking my thumbs into my knickers, slide them slowly down, bending to push them down my legs, and push my naked arse into your cock. You watch as your cock is enveloped by my arse cheeks when I straighten up. I lean back against you, feeling your shaft press into my arsehole and cunt, dragging my dress up further so I can run my hands over my nipples.

I bring my fingers up to your mouth, to wet them, and then rub them onto the tip of your cock. You’re still braced against the wall, and as I push the head of your cock against the entrance of my arse, rubbing it up and down where it’s most sensitive, you involuntarily say ‘oh god’. I smile and lean back against you, pushing the head of your cock slightly inside my arse. When you look down, you can see that my eyes are closed, my head is leaning back against your chest and one of my hands is slowly pinching and releasing one of my nipples.

You’re still not touching me, you’re worried that if you moved you’d fall over. Only the very end of your cock is inside me and you desperately want it to be more, and for me to move faster and give you some relief from this tension. But you can’t, you know you have to stay still, that I’m in control. While one of my hands is rubbing my nipples, the other has started circling my clitoris. The little noises of almost pathetic frustration that you’re making are turning me on, making me touch myself faster and bring myself closer to orgasm.

The movement from me pleasuring myself is causing me to rock back and forth on your cock and as it almost slides in further you whimper and gasp. As I orgasm, the muscles of my arse twich around you and you gasp for breath, unable to control your reactions, groping at the wall behind you and whispering ‘oh god, oh god’ under your breath as I come.

When I’m done, I exhale with satisfaction, and slide myself off your cock, pushing my dress back down. You hope I’ll turn around for a kiss, or to help you recover from my orgasm.

But I merely bend down, pick up my knickers, and walk back to the party, without even glancing behind me.


Feeling inspired to pen your own sex fantasy? If you’d like to submit a story to be published on the Sh! blog, please hop on over to this page for more info on Creative Juices.

Anal Sex Toy Safety Tips

Anal Sex Toy Safety Tips

We want your tushie to stay safe so here are the 3 rules for anal sex toys to be safe to go near your delicate nether regions.

  • Anal toys must be smooth
  • With an anal-safe base
  • And be an anal-safe size.

All anal toys at Sh! meet this criteria (as we reject all that don’t) so  you can be confident of that. But we’ve all heard tales of emergency visits to A&E, so if you’re thinking of improvising ( please don’t!) or have any toys you’re unsure of, please check them against these 3 safety rules;

Anal sex toys MUST be absolutely smooth and seamless

Anal tissue is very delicate (much more so than the vaginal tissue) so always check toys for any rough edges that could scratch or cut the skin there.

Cheaper toys made with hard plastic can have a seam running through them where the 2 parts are joined together – check that yours doesn’t before letting it anywhere near your precious bottom.


You must be able to keep a firm grip on any anal toy

An anal toy must feature either a:

  • large or flared base
  • safety ring/ loop
  • very long handle.

This ensures that you can keep a a firm grip on the toy. These safety features prevent your anal toy from slipping all the way inside.

Unlike the vagina, sex toys lost up the ass really can stay lost and could cause damage ( as well as an embarrassing trip to the A&E dept!) so this is not advice to take lightly.

 

Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads feature a a loop handle to keep a grip on...
Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads feature a a loop handle to keep a grip on…
Sh! Silicone Butt Plug featuring a wide base to prevent it slipping inside
Sh! Silicone Butt Plug featuring a wide base to prevent it slipping inside

 


 

Crystal Flex Wand Vibrator features a long handle to keep a tight grip upon.
Crystal Flex Wand Vibrator features a long handle to keep a tight grip upon.

Anal sex toys 10cm (around 4 inches), or longer,  MUST be flexible

This ensures that they are able to  bend with the natural curves of the anal canal, which loops back, inside your body around 4 inches inside.


Other than this, only you can judge the best size of anal toy for you so experiment with fingers and don’t be afraid to think small!

If your just starting out, read our beginners guide to anal toys and rest assured that at Sh! we stock a wide selection of anal-safe sex toys and safe butt plugs, (the vast majority of them in silicone which is soft, sensual and easy to keep clean) so there is anal toy to suit everyone.

lubricant advice

Lube for Anal Sex

The lowdown on the best lubes for anal play…

Using lube for anal sex is crucial as the anus doesn’t produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Lube protects anal tissues which are more delicate and easily torn than those of the vagina. Using lots of lube during every kinds of anal play is absolutely key to ensuring anal sex is ALL pleasure and NO pain.

Anal pleasure requires a slow pace and using lube ensures that everything feels slippery and sensual throughout the journey.

From the very beginning, through to the point where anal muscles relax enough to be receptive to penetration, and all through your anal sex session, you should ensure everything starts out coated, and remains coated in lube. Keep applying, as any ‘drag’ can cause tension and tension is the enemy of pleasurable anal sex!

Use lube is essential during all anal play - A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting...
Use lube is essential during all anal play – A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting…

Best Water Based Lube for Anal Sex

Standard water-based lube may dry up too quickly for the slow pace of anal sex so chose a thicker water-based lube such as  Sh! Pure PlusMaximus or Probe Classic Thick.

These lubes contain less water and so evaporate slower and have a thicker consistency than regular water-based lubes, which means they coat and cling to toys, fingers and condoms for longer…

Thick water-based lube can be used to enhance all sex-play, so it’s a great choice if you prefer to have just one lube-type by your bed – if you find it a little thick for other activities it can be simply watered down with a little purified water or even saliva.

 

Water-based lube is the best lube to choose if you are playing with any silicone anal toys, such as butt plugs and anal beads, or pegging  / performing anal sex with a silicone dildo.

 

 

 

 

 

Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe...
Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe…

Best Oil-Based Lube for Anal Sex

Some people prefer to use oil-based lube for anal sex as, without the evaporating qualities of water, it provides unsurpassed, super long-lasting and uber-slippy lubrication.

As the anus naturally flushes itself, it is less vulnerable to oil-induced infection than the vagina.

BUT oil-based lubes will rot a condom in seconds and will damage the surface of many anal toys, which is why we don’t stock oil-based anal lubes and caution against using mineral or vegetable oil-based products as lubricant.

The only oil-based lube we recommend, or offer, are silicone-based lube such as Eros Pjur Woman LubeSh! Silicone Lube or ID Millennium

These lubes deliver an oily-feeling AND keep anal pleasuring and non-silicone anal toys super-safe as well as super-slippery.

Beginners anal advice

Q&A: Does Anal Sex Hurt?

Dear Sh!

Both me and my partner are curious to try anal sex and the idea of it really turns me on but also I’m really scared it’s going to hurt.  It seems like a common  acceptance/joke that anal is always painful and yet lots of people also seem to be doing it, so I’m really confused – do they just grit their teeth or is there really pleasure ( as in my  fantasies) to be had?

Maybe it’s a pain/pleasure thing? If so, I’d really like to know before I get any deeper ( so to speak!) as pain really isn’t my thing!

I’d be grateful for any advice you can give.

Thanks

Sandra

Hi Sandra,

You’re right, from jokes and sitcoms to more highbrow knowledge imparting there’s an accepted ‘truth’ that anytime anything goes up  the bum is going to hurt like hell!  And yet, from porn films to colonic irrigation, there’s plenty to suggest that anal can be pleasurable and completely pain-free.

The key to the difference is relaxation. Lets take this away from the sex for a minute and think about this in terms of colonic irrigation (where the practitioner puts a a pipe up your bum and washes you out from the inside) No one is going to pay good money to have this done if it’s painful, are they? The practioner knows you must be relaxed and creates an environment to ensure you are. She explains what will happen, so you are fully informed – no sudden movements or nasty surprises! She’ll use lube and patience and most crucially, you will be in charge.

So, take all and transfer it over to anal sex and you’ll see there are 3 elements to ensure it is pain-free;

Without all three, anal sex will hurt. The biggest barrier for first-timers is the anxiety that it WILL hurt, which, of course tenses everything up and ensures it does – a viscous cycle if ever there was one!

The pain comes from the internal anal sphincter muscle which must be very relaxed for pain-free anal sexPain is your body’s warning system to stop or slow down.

The problem is that the receptive partner doesn’t actually have any conscious control over relaxing this muscle. If it constricts  involuntarily, forcing anal sex will hurt. This is why you must try to be really in-tune with what your body is telling you and able to communicate it to your partner.

It’s crucial that the receptive partner of anal sex controls the pace…

At the beginning it may feel really alien to your body to have something going up your bum and we’d suggest that before you try with a penis or dildo, you experiment first with a finger, a small, slim butt plug or anal vibrator.

A vibrating anal toy is a great way to explore your derriére desires for the first time as vibration is excellent for relaxing those extra sensitive anal nerve endings as well sending pleasurable thrills throughout the whole pelvic area.

We also think it’s better for newbies to explore the sensations on your own, rather than with a partner, as this removes any pressure or impatience to ‘get on with in’ because, when you’re aroused, you may feel ready to involve your partner before you actually are. Playing solo ensures you can concentrate wholly on yourself and the sensations you’re feeling…

Anal lube is simply extra thick and/or super slippery so toys, fingers or penises stay coated for longer. The key is to ensure everything glides and never drags; gliding is the physical equivalent of relaxing, whilst dragging is the equivalent of tensing ( remember, tensing = possible pain) which is why using lube, and LOTS of it, frequently re-applied, is essential.

It can take a long time for your body to become accustomed to, and really relax into the sensations of anal play, so never think of it as a race, but more like a meander…

Once you feel ready to involve your partner, communication needs to be added to the mix. We know that talking about sex can be hard but it is key to ensuring anal sex  is a positive experience for both partners and one you’d like to try again and again…

You could start off giving them a one woman performance on your newfound anal confidence with your toys or fingers. This will show your partner the kind of pace and depth you find most arousing. Before inviting them to become involved in a more ‘hands on’ (or penis/dildo in!) capacity, talk and agree together that you are in control of the action and pace. If you need to slow down or stop altogether, it’s much better to do so.  Gritting teeth or soldering on is totally counter-productive because that’s likely to be the very  last time you ever want to try anal sex!

In terms of positions, ‘doggy-style’ maybe the anal position that springs first to mind, but actually this isn’t the best, especially for newcomers.  Being on top, where you can lower yourself onto your lover or toys is another way for you to feel and be in control of pace and depth.

We hope this has helped give you the confidence to go ahead and explore turning your fantasies into pleasurable anal reality!

Have fun

Sh!

All names are changed for the purposes of anonymity.

 

Q&A Ask Sh!

Q&A: Best Toy for Anal Sex: Butt Plug or Dildo?

Dear Sh!

Please could you give me some advice on which is best toy for anal sex – a  butt plug or a dildo?

I’m kind of new to all this and would appreciate some advice.

Thanks in advance…

Alex

 

Hi Alex,

So, choosing the right kind of sex toy for anal play depends on how you want to use the toy and the kind of  pleasure you’d like to experience from it. But as a beginner it’s very difficult to know!

Probably the best way it to start your anal discovery with a finger, covered in a condom or latex glove, if you’d prefer….

Cover both your anus and finger with some lube and gently, with patience, start exploring.

Going in will essentially feel the same, but once up there, do you prefer simply the feeling of fullness of your finger staying put or do you prefer a sliding in and out motion?

 

Beginners Butt Plug £15
Beginners Butt Plug £15

Butt Plugs – Best For Feelings of Still Fullness…

If you more prefer a feeling of fullness, then a butt plug is a great anal sex toy for you as, after the initial insertion,  it’s not designed for much movement, beyond a slight wiggle or tilt.

The narrow neck at a butt plug’s base is what makes it stay in place – your sphincture muscle will naturally close around where it is narrowest – so, whilst there are no rules to how you must play with any sex toys and you can make small in-out movements with it,  it may feel jarring to try to slide a butt plug in-and-out once this muscle has tensed around the narrow neck portion.

A butt plug is a good toy to get a ‘feel’ of what it’s like simply to have something up your bum, which in itself can be very arousing.

 

 

 

 

Wirly Girly 2 - Our most popular anal dildo
Wirly Girly 2 – Our most popular anal dildo

Anal Dildos – Best for In-and-Out Strokes…

If you crave a feeling of stroking in-and-out, then a dildo is actually the best toy for this kind of anal pleasure, because they have regular shafts, with no pronounced narrowing.

Again, there’s NO rules and you can simply slide a dildo inside and hold it there with no movement. But, unlike a butt plug, you can’t really let go, as the anus’ natural instinct is to (ahem) ‘expel’ …so it will start to slide out.

Our dildos start from finger- size, like the Wirly Girly 1 Slim Dildo, so even if you are new to anal sex, you won’t be feel overwhelmed.

If you plan to  strap on a dildo for anal sex with your male or female lover, then you’ll need a longer dildo such as Wirly Girly 2 Slim Dildo  or, even Wirly Girly 3 Slim Dildo as some of the dildo’s length is lost once it’s worn in a harness.

Both these styles are super popular anal dildos; slim enough for unintimidating anal sex, with gently ribbed shafts for stimulating the responsive nerve-endings in the anal canal and the extra length allows for proper strokes, without the toy slipping out altogether which can be frustrating!

The bases of all Sh! dildos & butt plugs are all safe for anal play as they flare enough to prevent dildos from slipping inside and getting lost inside.

Remember, whenever you play – lubricant is your friend and absolutely key to pleasurable anal sex, so whichever toy you choose, treat it and yourself with a lovely coat of lube to ensure maximum glide and pleasure.

Hope this helps and do give us a shout if you need any more advice

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity