Anal Sex Blog Post

A beginners’ guide to anal play

Anal play is one of those things that most people don’t talk about but have a quiet desire to try. It’s sort of taboo, which is a huge turn on, but it’s also something that many people love, making it curious for those who have never tried it. Is in not just painful and messy?

Well, it can be but it shouldn’t be, if that makes sense. Anal play, when done right, is intensely pleasurable and you can orgasm from it.

The trick is to take it slow and steady – it’s not a swimming pool. Don’t throw yourself into it.

Anal play requires preparation, time and lube. Lots of lube.

A common concern about anal sex is the potential for mess, so let’s start there.

The anus and rectum are designed to expel, so if you are going to play in the area, you and your partner need to be prepared for coming into contact with faeces. This is the reality of anal play.

However, there are a few ways of ensuring you get as few surprises as possible:

  • Make sure the person on the receiving end has been to the loo; this is essential and will allow you both to relax.
  • Showering together will start the erotic build-up. Soap up their bottom and rinse off – shower jets over the anus feel very sexy. Dry off gently, and kiss their buttocks.
  • Some people prefer to use douches to feel extra clean. Douches are bulbs that you fill with water and insert into the anus, before expelling the lukewarm water into your body. Using cold water will be painful, and using hot water will scald; body temperature is perfect. The water will flow out in its own time so if you are going to douche, make sure to do this a few hours before play begins.

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Lube for Anal Play

A silicone-based lube is great for skin-on-skin anal play. It’s long-lasting and won’t dry up, and typically doesn’t have any scent or taste. Add a drizzle to your fingers before stroking onto your partner’s butt.

If you’re planning on using silicone toys, or toys with a soft surface, you’ll need to stock up on water-based lube. Water-based lube will sink into the skin so you will need to re-apply, or add some saliva to reactivate lube that’s already been applied.

For extra hygiene, as well as safer sex with or without toys, you might want to get some condoms for anal sex too. If you have long or sharp nails, get some latex gloves to make them smoother – tushies are delicate and you don’t want to snag the thin membranes.

Warming Up

Just like a session at the gym, you need to warm up properly or you could do yourselves an injury.

Take the time to massage your partner’s buttocks, lower back, and upper thighs; the skin is one large erogenous zone, and kneading, touching and stroking will help get you both in the mood for more.

Using your thumbs, glide along the crease from the inner thigh to the outer side and repeat. Next, put your hands in a prayer position on your partner’s tailbone and glide up and down between the buttocks for a sensual and relaxing start to anal play.

Add a little lube to your fingertips and stroke gently around the anal rim. Explore the anal opening without penetrating it.

If you both feel comfortable with it, rimming is a fantastic way to get the anus ready and waiting. Licking, kissing and sucking on all the nerve-endings in the area may make your play partner feel like their brains are melting… Just saying.

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When your partner starts pushing back for more attention, it’s time to ramp it up a bit.

The Happy Hiney Anal Comfort Cream gently relaxes the area, which is perfect for first-timers. Containing no numbing agents, Happy Hiney delivers a tingling sensation, which helps relax tense, nervous muscles and reduce sensations of extra friction.

Note: We don’t recommend using numbing creams for any kind of sexual activity, especially not anal play. Pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong, and overriding this function can have dire consequences. 

If you’re totally new to any type of anal adventure, it’s best to start small. Our Vibrating Silicone Anal Beads are an ideal beginner’s toy as the beads start off small and gradually increase in size, so you can go at your own pace and just enjoy the delicate vibrations.

A butt plug is a small toy that gets inserted for a sensual ‘full’ feeling. Leave the plug in place so they have something to squeeze against. You can wiggle it a little, or slowly move it in and out so the anus pops open and closes again; many peeps enjoy this sensation.
Butt Plugs

Any toy used for anal sex needs to be safe for this type of play; i.e. they must have a flared base or a handle. Using unsafe toys for anal play often ends badly and we don’t want this to happen to you.

This might be as far as you go on this first occasion, but it’s plenty. You want to leave the brain thinking of anal play as something pleasurable, as that’ll make it easier for it to relax the next time.

Many couples who are embarking on anal sex for the first time are keen on getting ‘stuck in’ as soon as possible, but this is often a mistake. Rushing it makes for an uncomfortable or painful experience.

If you’ve decided to go for full penetration, you’ll still need to start as above; building it up slowly helps the body relax and welcome the penis or dildo.

The inside of the anus is a lazy S-shape, so make sure you’re familiar with your partner’s internal curves before dipping in. Visualize their insides and move to accommodate this; this is especially important if you’re using a dildo as you won’t be able to feel resistance or any dry areas.

Keep checking in with your partner. Make sure they’re having a great time, and keep the bond going by kissing and touching.

We tend to recommend the receiving partner is on top when anal play is new for you both. This gives them the freedom to rock, wiggle or just sit still if that’s what feels best. You can get all adventurous and try out different positions later when you both feel more confident.

Prostate Play

The butts of male-bodied peeps have an additional part that enjoys gentle stimulation: the prostate.

The back-door area has long been shrouded in shame and denial, especially for straight men, but we’re delighted to say that the P-spot and its pleasure potential is finally out in the open (about bloomin’ time!).

The prostate has the ability to make its owner multi-orgasmic, and this is well worth exploring. The best book on the subject, in our opinion, is The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Play by Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian. It covers everything from hygiene to maintaining prostate health to illustrated tips and techniques about achieving supercharged orgasms.

The rules for stimulating a butt with a prostate are the same as the rules for stimulating a butt without a P-spot: Take your time, use lashings of lube, ensure your nails are short & smooth and make sure the person on the receiving end is having the time of their lives!

By following our advice, your bum-fun should be nothing but(t) a good time!

 

How to Use a Butt Plug

How to Use a Butt Plug

A Butt Plug is an anal sex toy which is  designed to be ‘worn’ rather than moved in-and-out. It provides the wearer with a continual feeling of fullness, pressure and arousing awareness of the area.

The nerves that surround the anus are super sensitive and a butt plug also offers constant stimulation to them.

Butt Plugs Pleasures For Women & Men

  • For women, a butt plug delivers pressure to the vaginal walls and sensations can feel super-intense when both front and back doors are filled.
  • Men have their own special spot, the Prostate Gland, located 1.5 – 3 inches inside and a butt plug can put pleasurable pressure on this.

Butt plugs are diamond shaped; From the top a small tip flares our to a wider middle before sweeping into a a narrow neck (for the anal muscles to close around) and finishing with a wide base which prevents the toy slipping inside the anus. Some also have a ring  on the base to slip your finger in and keep hold of.

Butt PlugHow to Use a Butt Plug for

  • To enjoy the sensations of butt plug play, the recipient should be really aroused, so give lots of attention to all other erogenous zones before going near the butt!
  • Find a position that’s comfortable for anal play – on all fours, on your back with legs raised or crouched over the plug.

 

  • Go slowly and communicate, if you are playing with a lover.

    Use a nice thick anal lube to ease and enhance play ....
    Use a nice thick anal lube to ease and enhance play ….

 

  • Apply a nice, thick anal lube to the anal area and sensually massage & stimulate the anus with your fingers, or just the tip of the butt plug.
  • Lots of us impede great sex by shallow breathing or holding our breath, which staves the body of oxygen and makes muscles tense up.
  • The anus, when really relaxed and aroused starts to open up (like a lovely flower!). Work the plug inside in harmony with this, ie never force it, but keep massaging around the area until it lets the plug slip effortless inside.
  • Angle the butt plug toward the front of the body as you slide it deeper.
  • Once inside the anal sphincter muscles will close around the narrow neck, thus holding the plug in place.
  • Every kind of sexual stimulation can feel heightened whilst wearing an anal plug; oral sex, clitoral stimulation, nipple stimulation, a hand-job – you name it!

How long can you use a Butt Plug?

  • A plug can be “worn” for as long as you want; our customers have told us they’ve even gone to work or cleaned the house whilst wearing one.
  • Wearing a butt plug outside of the bedroom can be incredibly arousing (just as most ‘naughty secrets’ are!) and a great way to keep the wearer focussed on their anal pleasure.
  • Once your body is accustomed to the feeling, a butt plug is likely to stay in place but for extra security,  slip on your tightest pants (rather than baggy boxers or bloomers) and you’ll feel confident wearing a butt plug ‘in public’.
  • If you are planning a long butt-plug session, we recommend regularly removing your anal plug to apply more lube, just to be  sure that you don’t get a sore bottom!

Most of the butt plugs we carry are made of silicone and we also hand pour our own range of silicone butt plugs, in our London studio.

Silicone is a great material for all anal sex toys because it’s smooth, feels sensual and is super easy to clean,  which is particularly important for backdoor toys! Our silicone butt plugs can even be sterilized.

 

Our Top Butt Plugs, as chosen by customers in our London store:

 

Dinky Butt Plug (£12)
Dinky Butt Plug ( £12)

 

With just a couple of insertable silicone inches to play with, the Dinky Butt Plug is massively popular with our customers.

A really great butt plug, it’s fulfilling without being even remotely overwhelming.

The base  is perfectly safe for play, but still small enough to be able to walk around with, if that’s what you like.


 

 

 

Sh! Silicone Beaded Butt Plug (£15)
Sh! Silicone Beaded Butt Plug (£15)

 

Sh! Beaded Silicone Butt Plug , with its graduated beads, is super-popular with our customers.

A great size for beginners to anal play – there’s nothing scary about this one at all!

Slowly insert one bead at a time until all three beads are fully inside. Then – enjoy!


 

 

 

 

Small Gold Butt Plug (£29)
Small Gold Butt Plug (£29)

 

Gold Butt Plug should really be called “Beautiful Butt Plug” because that’s what it is!

Simply stunning, it adds a tempting sparkliness to your rear whilst the weighty steel offers delicious sensations for the internal part of your butt.

Small enough to wear whilst you go about your daily business, but heavy so you will be constantly aware of the sensations and the squeeze it takes to hold it in place…


 

 

 

Curved Vibrating Butt Plug (£24)
Curved Vibrating Butt Plug (£24)

 

Vibrating Butt plug adds a delicious buzz to the feeling of fullness.

Vibration can help relax, as well as delivery waves of thrilling sensations throughout the whole genital area.

You can either choose one with a bullet in the base, which is best if you’d like constant and even stimulation.

Or choose one with a separate controller handset, which is easier to operate, if you would like your partner to ‘take charge’ of the sensations or if you would change intensity of vibration, throughout play…

 


 

Remember always use lube for all anal play! With butt plugs, we advice you apply it to your bum-hole and the tip/ main shaft of the toy, but wipe it off the base, just to be sure you can get a grip for removing it…

Is a Butt Plug the Right Sex Toy for You?

A butt plug is best for anal sex play that requires little or no movement. Whether enjoyed as a side dish to other sexual activities or as the main event, it simply fills you with an ever-present feeling of fullness, as well as focussing your mind on back-door sensations…

If you are looking for a toy for a sliding-in-and-out anal sex, an anal dildo is better than a butt plug, as the regular girth offers smoother penetration.

 

 

Anal Sex Toy Safety Tips

Anal Sex Toy Safety Tips

We want your tushie to stay safe so here are the 3 rules for anal sex toys to be safe to go near your delicate nether regions.

  • Anal toys must be smooth
  • With an anal-safe base
  • And be an anal-safe size.

All anal toys at Sh! meet this criteria (as we reject all that don’t) so  you can be confident of that. But we’ve all heard tales of emergency visits to A&E, so if you’re thinking of improvising ( please don’t!) or have any toys you’re unsure of, please check them against these 3 safety rules;

Anal sex toys MUST be absolutely smooth and seamless

Anal tissue is very delicate (much more so than the vaginal tissue) so always check toys for any rough edges that could scratch or cut the skin there.

Cheaper toys made with hard plastic can have a seam running through them where the 2 parts are joined together – check that yours doesn’t before letting it anywhere near your precious bottom.


You must be able to keep a firm grip on any anal toy

An anal toy must feature either a:

  • large or flared base
  • safety ring/ loop
  • very long handle.

This ensures that you can keep a a firm grip on the toy. These safety features prevent your anal toy from slipping all the way inside.

Unlike the vagina, sex toys lost up the ass really can stay lost and could cause damage ( as well as an embarrassing trip to the A&E dept!) so this is not advice to take lightly.

 

Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads feature a a loop handle to keep a grip on...
Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads feature a a loop handle to keep a grip on…
Sh! Silicone Butt Plug featuring a wide base to prevent it slipping inside
Sh! Silicone Butt Plug featuring a wide base to prevent it slipping inside

 


 

Crystal Flex Wand Vibrator features a long handle to keep a tight grip upon.
Crystal Flex Wand Vibrator features a long handle to keep a tight grip upon.

Anal sex toys 10cm (around 4 inches), or longer,  MUST be flexible

This ensures that they are able to  bend with the natural curves of the anal canal, which loops back, inside your body around 4 inches inside.


Other than this, only you can judge the best size of anal toy for you so experiment with fingers and don’t be afraid to think small!

If your just starting out, read our beginners guide to anal toys and rest assured that at Sh! we stock a wide selection of anal-safe sex toys and safe butt plugs, (the vast majority of them in silicone which is soft, sensual and easy to keep clean) so there is anal toy to suit everyone.

lubricant advice

Lube for Anal Sex

The lowdown on the best lubes for anal play…

Using lube for anal sex is crucial as the anus doesn’t produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Lube protects anal tissues which are more delicate and easily torn than those of the vagina. Using lots of lube during every kinds of anal play is absolutely key to ensuring anal sex is ALL pleasure and NO pain.

Anal pleasure requires a slow pace and using lube ensures that everything feels slippery and sensual throughout the journey.

From the very beginning, through to the point where anal muscles relax enough to be receptive to penetration, and all through your anal sex session, you should ensure everything starts out coated, and remains coated in lube. Keep applying, as any ‘drag’ can cause tension and tension is the enemy of pleasurable anal sex!

Use lube is essential during all anal play - A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting...
Use lube is essential during all anal play – A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting…

Best Water Based Lube for Anal Sex

Standard water-based lube may dry up too quickly for the slow pace of anal sex so chose a thicker water-based lube such as  Sh! Pure PlusMaximus or Probe Classic Thick.

These lubes contain less water and so evaporate slower and have a thicker consistency than regular water-based lubes, which means they coat and cling to toys, fingers and condoms for longer…

Thick water-based lube can be used to enhance all sex-play, so it’s a great choice if you prefer to have just one lube-type by your bed – if you find it a little thick for other activities it can be simply watered down with a little purified water or even saliva.

 

Water-based lube is the best lube to choose if you are playing with any silicone anal toys, such as butt plugs and anal beads, or pegging  / performing anal sex with a silicone dildo.

 

 

 

 

 

Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe...
Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe…

Best Oil-Based Lube for Anal Sex

Some people prefer to use oil-based lube for anal sex as, without the evaporating qualities of water, it provides unsurpassed, super long-lasting and uber-slippy lubrication.

As the anus naturally flushes itself, it is less vulnerable to oil-induced infection than the vagina.

BUT oil-based lubes will rot a condom in seconds and will damage the surface of many anal toys, which is why we don’t stock oil-based anal lubes and caution against using mineral or vegetable oil-based products as lubricant.

The only oil-based lube we recommend, or offer, are silicone-based lube such as Eros Pjur Woman LubeSh! Silicone Lube or ID Millennium

These lubes deliver an oily-feeling AND keep anal pleasuring and non-silicone anal toys super-safe as well as super-slippery.

Q&A Ask Sh!

Q&A: Best Toy for Anal Sex: Butt Plug or Dildo?

Dear Sh!

Please could you give me some advice on which is best toy for anal sex – a  butt plug or a dildo?

I’m kind of new to all this and would appreciate some advice.

Thanks in advance…

Alex

 

Hi Alex,

So, choosing the right kind of sex toy for anal play depends on how you want to use the toy and the kind of  pleasure you’d like to experience from it. But as a beginner it’s very difficult to know!

Probably the best way it to start your anal discovery with a finger, covered in a condom or latex glove, if you’d prefer….

Cover both your anus and finger with some lube and gently, with patience, start exploring.

Going in will essentially feel the same, but once up there, do you prefer simply the feeling of fullness of your finger staying put or do you prefer a sliding in and out motion?

 

Beginners Butt Plug £15
Beginners Butt Plug £15

Butt Plugs – Best For Feelings of Still Fullness…

If you more prefer a feeling of fullness, then a butt plug is a great anal sex toy for you as, after the initial insertion,  it’s not designed for much movement, beyond a slight wiggle or tilt.

The narrow neck at a butt plug’s base is what makes it stay in place – your sphincture muscle will naturally close around where it is narrowest – so, whilst there are no rules to how you must play with any sex toys and you can make small in-out movements with it,  it may feel jarring to try to slide a butt plug in-and-out once this muscle has tensed around the narrow neck portion.

A butt plug is a good toy to get a ‘feel’ of what it’s like simply to have something up your bum, which in itself can be very arousing.

 

 

 

 

Wirly Girly 2 - Our most popular anal dildo
Wirly Girly 2 – Our most popular anal dildo

Anal Dildos – Best for In-and-Out Strokes…

If you crave a feeling of stroking in-and-out, then a dildo is actually the best toy for this kind of anal pleasure, because they have regular shafts, with no pronounced narrowing.

Again, there’s NO rules and you can simply slide a dildo inside and hold it there with no movement. But, unlike a butt plug, you can’t really let go, as the anus’ natural instinct is to (ahem) ‘expel’ …so it will start to slide out.

Our dildos start from finger- size, like the Wirly Girly 1 Slim Dildo, so even if you are new to anal sex, you won’t be feel overwhelmed.

If you plan to  strap on a dildo for anal sex with your male or female lover, then you’ll need a longer dildo such as Wirly Girly 2 Slim Dildo  or, even Wirly Girly 3 Slim Dildo as some of the dildo’s length is lost once it’s worn in a harness.

Both these styles are super popular anal dildos; slim enough for unintimidating anal sex, with gently ribbed shafts for stimulating the responsive nerve-endings in the anal canal and the extra length allows for proper strokes, without the toy slipping out altogether which can be frustrating!

The bases of all Sh! dildos & butt plugs are all safe for anal play as they flare enough to prevent dildos from slipping inside and getting lost inside.

Remember, whenever you play – lubricant is your friend and absolutely key to pleasurable anal sex, so whichever toy you choose, treat it and yourself with a lovely coat of lube to ensure maximum glide and pleasure.

Hope this helps and do give us a shout if you need any more advice

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity