Advice Anal Play & Pleasure

Enhancing Anal Play and Pleasure

Before you get down to some really pleasurable anal play, there are a few things to think about, so here we’ll take you through what you may need to stock up on before heading in through the back door…

Lubricant is essential to ensure ALL your anal play is pleasurable

Lube is the most important thing when it comes to a pleasurable anal experience – a necessity.  The anal canal isn’t self-lubricating, meaning that the necessary moisture needs to be added – by you.

Many customers come to us, asking if anal play “has” to hurt, and we always give the same answer: anal play should not be painful at all. It should only be pleasurable.

When asking these customers, we usually find they all have one thing in common: they don’t use lube. (dry friction – no wonder it hurts, peeps!)

Lashings of lube will make all anal pleasure, with or without toys  so much more comfortable and sensual. It also ensures that everything stays nicely slidey, throughout the long, slow journey of anal arousal (if you’re going too fast, no wonder it hurts peeps!)

Here, we have two options for you:

Silicone Lube is slick and long-lasting for the slow pace of arousing anal play....
Silicone Lube is slick and long-lasting for the slow pace of arousing anal play….

Silicone lubricant for anal play

Silicone-based lube is great for skin-on-skin play; when you use fingers or a penis, or if you use sex toys made from glassplastic, or steel. It is slick and long-lasting, and a little goes a long, long way…

Silicone lube is also perfect for anal play in the bath or shower – which is a good place for beginners to anal sex to start their journey as many people are hesitant around ‘feeling clean’.  Water will wash away regular lube.

It’s worth noting that silicone-based lube could damage the surface of any silicone toys you may have, so we recommend covering these toys with condoms if you opt for silicone lube.

Sh! Pure Plus (£10) Paraben-Free Thick Anal Lubricant
Sh! Pure Plus (£10) Paraben-Free Thick Anal Lubricant

Water-based lubricant for anal play

Choose a thick, viscous water-based lube for anal play

The thicker, the better! It will coat fingers, penises and toys much better than runny versions.

Customers often ask how much lube they should add, and our reply is always this: Add as much as you think. Then add a bit more!

Water-based lubes are very body-friendly, and work well with any toys  you have. Water-based lube evaporates/sinks into the skin, so you’ll have to reapply, or reactivate your lube with a  couple of drops of water or saliva, which works just as well.


A word about anal enhancers and why you should never use anal numbing products…

Intimate Organics Anal Relaxant £18
Intimate Organics Anal Relaxant £18

Here at Sh!, we do not sell any products designed to numb the anal area.

We have many customers asking for these (it’s that old ‘anal sex always hurts’ myth again!) but we always explain why using anal numbing creams or sprays could actually be harmful.

The anal canal is very delicate and the skin there easily torn.  Pain is your body’s  way of staying ‘stop’ or ‘slow down’. If you have numbed your body (with a special numbing product, or with alcohol or drugs) you will be unaware of being hurt. Staying present and in-tune with your body’s sensations is the only way to safely enjoy anal sex.

What we offer instead, are anal enhancing sprays, which are naturally formulated to relax the anus for easy penetration, whilst still keeping the bottoming partner fully aware of all sensations in their tush.


Pasante Extra Condoms (£7)
Pasante Extra Condoms (£7)

Using Condoms for Anal Play

Using condoms is a great way to take care of any hygiene-worries you may have. Also, a necessity, for safer-sex. .

Because of the delicate skin in the bum,  anal sex with an uncovered penis is the easiest transmission route of many STI’s. Pasante Extra, are specially created for anal sex; extra lube for friction-free moves and extra thick latex for a strong barrier.

Whether for safer-sex purposes or not, using condoms for anal sex makes clean-up a doddle:  just whip the condom off and dispose of. Easy peasy!



Using Latex Gloves for Anal Play – Turns fingers into smooth operators…

Black Latex Gloves
Black Latex Gloves £4 for 10

Using latex gloves for anal sex (or non-latex gloves, if you are allergic) not only easy, but also very sexy.

Snapping on a glove and drizzling some lube over your gloved-up fingers can be a hot image, raising anticipation of things to come..

It  can also add frisson to kinky medical role-play…

They also make a sexy barrier, if you are a bit squeamish about probing your partner’s tush…

Gloves are essential if you have long nails (long nails and delicate tushies don’t go together), nails that aren’t smooth (ouch!) or if you are concerned about hygiene (easy to whip off and dispose of).

If you have long nails, it’s a really good idea to pop some cotton wool into each finger of the glove  before putting it on. This will protect your nails – and your partner’s bum!

If you’re not keen on wearing  whole glove, you could easily cut the latex fingers off, and cover your own fingers with them – finger cots!


Using Dental Dams for Anal Oral Sex (aka Analingus or Rimming)

Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka 'rimming'
Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka ‘rimming’

Dams are squares of latex (also available in non-latex, if you are allergic) that you place over your partners bits to perform oral sex through. They are a barrier, much like condoms and can be used for vaginal as well as anal pleasure – though always  use a new dam, each time.

The offical word for anal oral sex is analingus, but it’s more commonly called  ‘rimming’.

Rimming is when you pleasure your partners anus with your lips and tongue. It may sound shocking to some, but the anus has tons of nerve-endings, just begging to be licked, kissed and touched, and this can be intensely pleasurable.

Drizzle a touch of lube on to your partner’s side of the dam before placing it over their anus – this will make your licking feel moist and sexy – just like your tongue!

So there’s the run-down on the essentials (lube!), as well as additions to pleasurable anal play, but if you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations, please feel free to drop us a line at and we’ll answer you.

We may also share Q&A’s so others may benefit, but if we do it will always be anonymous, with nothing left in to identify you – promise!

Beginners anal advice

How to Choose an Anal Dildo

Many peeps make the mistake of buying a butt plug, when what they really want is a dildo for anal sex.

A dildo has a regular girth (though it can be slightly flared or ribbed for pleasure), which delivers smooth anal penetration.

A butt plug has a sphincter-stop at its base, which makes it stay-put, so whilst it offers special anal pleasures, it’s not designed for sliding in-and-out moves…

Choosing an anal dildo is all about size, with width being more important than length…

Unless you are totally confident you know the perfect size for your anal dildo, it’s best to start off with a slim dildo. The width is the most important dimension to consider, as you  can always control how deep a dildo goes, but one that is too wide, will make relaxing anal musclean uphill, if not impossible battle!

The anus is a delicate flower where everything, particularly size, feels magnified. So choosing a first dildo for anal sex for is not the time to be greedy or have your eyes bigger than your bum!

The flower metaphor works perfectly for anal pleasure because the bum-hole starts out as a tight bud, but with lots of gentle and loving cultivation, slowly opens up ….  Certainly as you become turned on, you may desire more and slight ‘stretching’ might feel good,  but for most of us, whopping anal dildos are the stuff of fantasy and porn films, rather than reality. Wide dildos can, in real life, be difficult to take, even for experienced anal-players.

If you plan to use your anal dildo in a strap-on, however, you may need a longer dildo than than you think. Once a dildo is slipped into a harness, a couple of centimetres of insertable length is lost, plus tummies can get in the way…

A slightly longer anal dildo is also good for pleasuring your guy’s prostate gland.


Any dildo destined for your bum needs to be ‘anal-safe’

Body-safe, easy to clean & wide bases makes all Sh! silicone dildos 100% safe for anal play
Body-safe, easy to clean & wide bases makes all Sh! silicone dildos 100% safe for anal play

That’s why the wide base that is a feature on every Sh! Dildo makes it safe to use as anal dildo, as, no matter how passionate your moves become,  it cannot slip all the way inside and potentially get lost up there!

Made from 100% silicone, a Sh! dildo is non-porous, neither absorbing nor disclosing any substances  and can be completely sterilized.

Silicone is also soft and flexible. This is important in order for it to bend with the natural curves inside.

The anal canal curves about 4 inches inside, so any dildo longer than that needs to be soft enough to bend…

This is why long, hard dildos may not be comfortable for anal sex.

We make  over 40 different sizes and styles, which means we can match you with your perfect dildo; from anal beginners to anal experts and everyone in between!

All Sh! dildos can be used in a strap on harness for anal play too, and many lesbians are au fait with its pleasures.

We give advice about buying a dildo for anal play/pegging everyday in our London store and know that it is a very individual, personal choice…

Buying over the internet is much trickier, so here are the top 3 anal dildo, as chosen by customers, instore, where they can see, feel and measure-up our full range, as well as ask any us any questions about anal play.


Best-selling anal dildos – as chosen by our customers..

Wirly Girly 2 - our most popular anal dildo
Wirly Girly 2 – our most popular anal dildo


Wirly Girly 2 is our best-selling  anal dildo, particularly for beginners to anal play and pegging.

At 5.25 inch long with rounded head and supple, slim 1.1 inch shaft, which makes it flexible to bend

The ribbed shaft delivers extra sensations as it slides in-and-out,  At 5.25 inches long it has enough length to deliver satisfying strokes, without feeling overwhelming.




Cupid 2 Silicone Dildo £24
Cupid 2 £24


Cupid 2 is  another very popular shape and size  for anal-play.

The 4.5 inches long shaft is slightly tilted with rounded head for easy entry.

The curvy 1.25 inch shaft offers gentle penetrative pleasure.

Because of the upward curve of this dildo, it is great for targeted prostate massage. On their back, use it with the curve pointing upwards;  if your partner is on all fours, its best  to swivel the dildo round and use it ‘up-side-down’ , with the head of the dildo pointing downwards…

This will align with their body better, ensuring no accidental ‘bumping’ occurs.



Wirly Girly 3 Silicone Dildo (£37) Slim and ribbed for sensational anal pleasure, but with extra length for longer strokes...
Wirly Girly 3 Silicone Dildo (£37) Slim and ribbed for sensational anal pleasure, but with extra length for longer strokes…


Wirly Girly 3 is a good choice if you plan to wear your dildo in a harness.

At 7 inches long with a gently rounded head and supple, ribbed 1.25 inch shaft makes this a user-friendly and popular dildo for longer strokes anal play

Firm but very flexible, it follows the natural curve of the anal canal.

A little bit longer than Wirly Girly 2, it reaches deeper inside with ease.




Dildos for anal pegging play

More and more straight couples are also discovering the delights of pegging – the term given for when  a women straps-on a dildo to anally-pleasure her man.

In the last 10 years pegging has become increasingly popular and nowadays about 35% of the strap on dildos we sell at Sh! are sold  for pegging play.

Pegging your man, using an anal dildo, is likely to pleasure his prostate gland and give him amazing orgasms.

Any dildo can be coupled with a strap on to create the perfect pegging toy for you, so feel free to browse our silicone dildo collectionIt is always best to choose your dildo first and then add a strap-on…

For easy-off-the-shelf pegging toys, we have 2 great products;

Pegging Strap On Kit (£89): 5.25 inch Dildo, Leather Harness, Lube & Cleaner SAVE £5
Pegging Strap On Kit (£89): 5.25 inch Dildo, Leather Harness, Lube & Cleaner SAVE £5


Pegging Strap-On Kit  is an ideal way to start your adventures in anal pegging play.

It’s a perfectly put-together set, made up of all our best-selling toys bought for pegging.







Share Pegging Dildo (£46) - A strapless dildo with a small external dildo, for harness-free harness-free, strap-on style anal play
Share Pegging Dildo (£46) – A strapless dildo with a small external dildo, for harness-free harness-free, strap-on style anal play


Pegging Strapless Double Dildo is designed for strap-on style sex, without the ‘do-er’ having to wear a strap-on harness.

Using a strapless dildo is something that takes practice. They are best suited for close, intimate moves, rather than wild thrusting as, without the security of a harness, the dildo has to be kept in place, just by the operator holding the larger egg-shaped dildo inside her, gripping it with her PC Muscle.

The smaller shaft ( 3.75 x 1 inch ) extends out of her and its small, slim proportions make it user-friendly for anal and pegging pleasure



Pure Plus Anal Lube (£10) Using lube is essential to ensure anal play is all pleasure, no pain...
Pure Plus Anal Lube (£10) Using lube is essential to ensure anal play is all pleasure, no pain…

Remember, It’s essential use lube in all anal play, as  this is an area that doesn’t self-lubricate, and lots of lovely lubrication is key to ensuring anal sex all pleasure, and never painful.

Here’s our advice on the best lubes for anal sex.

How to Use a Butt Plug

How to Use a Butt Plug

A Butt Plug is an anal sex toy which is  designed to be ‘worn’ rather than moved in-and-out. It provides the wearer with a continual feeling of fullness, pressure and arousing awareness of the area.

The nerves that surround the anus are super sensitive and a butt plug also offers constant stimulation to them.

Butt Plugs Pleasures For Women & Men

  • For women, a butt plug delivers pressure to the vaginal walls and sensations can feel super-intense when both front and back doors are filled.
  • Men have their own special spot, the Prostate Gland, located 1.5 – 3 inches inside and a butt plug can put pleasurable pressure on this.

Butt plugs are diamond shaped; From the top a small tip flares our to a wider middle before sweeping into a a narrow neck (for the anal muscles to close around) and finishing with a wide base which prevents the toy slipping inside the anus. Some also have a ring  on the base to slip your finger in and keep hold of.

Butt PlugHow to Use a Butt Plug for

  • To enjoy the sensations of butt plug play, the recipient should be really aroused, so give lots of attention to all other erogenous zones before going near the butt!
  • Find a position that’s comfortable for anal play – on all fours, on your back with legs raised or crouched over the plug.


  • Go slowly and communicate, if you are playing with a lover.

    Use a nice thick anal lube to ease and enhance play ....
    Use a nice thick anal lube to ease and enhance play ….


  • Apply a nice, thick anal lube to the anal area and sensually massage & stimulate the anus with your fingers, or just the tip of the butt plug.
  • Lots of us impede great sex by shallow breathing or holding our breath, which staves the body of oxygen and makes muscles tense up.
  • The anus, when really relaxed and aroused starts to open up (like a lovely flower!). Work the plug inside in harmony with this, ie never force it, but keep massaging around the area until it lets the plug slip effortless inside.
  • Angle the butt plug toward the front of the body as you slide it deeper.
  • Once inside the anal sphincter muscles will close around the narrow neck, thus holding the plug in place.
  • Every kind of sexual stimulation can feel heightened whilst wearing an anal plug; oral sex, clitoral stimulation, nipple stimulation, a hand-job – you name it!

How long can you use a Butt Plug?

  • A plug can be “worn” for as long as you want; our customers have told us they’ve even gone to work or cleaned the house whilst wearing one.
  • Wearing a butt plug outside of the bedroom can be incredibly arousing (just as most ‘naughty secrets’ are!) and a great way to keep the wearer focussed on their anal pleasure.
  • Once your body is accustomed to the feeling, a butt plug is likely to stay in place but for extra security,  slip on your tightest pants (rather than baggy boxers or bloomers) and you’ll feel confident wearing a butt plug ‘in public’.
  • If you are planning a long butt-plug session, we recommend regularly removing your anal plug to apply more lube, just to be  sure that you don’t get a sore bottom!

Most of the butt plugs we carry are made of silicone and we also hand pour our own range of silicone butt plugs, in our London studio.

Silicone is a great material for all anal sex toys because it’s smooth, feels sensual and is super easy to clean,  which is particularly important for backdoor toys! Our silicone butt plugs can even be sterilized.


Our Top Butt Plugs, as chosen by customers in our London store:


Dinky Butt Plug (£12)
Dinky Butt Plug ( £12)


With just a couple of insertable silicone inches to play with, the Dinky Butt Plug is massively popular with our customers.

A really great butt plug, it’s fulfilling without being even remotely overwhelming.

The base  is perfectly safe for play, but still small enough to be able to walk around with, if that’s what you like.




Sh! Silicone Beaded Butt Plug (£15)
Sh! Silicone Beaded Butt Plug (£15)


Sh! Beaded Silicone Butt Plug , with its graduated beads, is super-popular with our customers.

A great size for beginners to anal play – there’s nothing scary about this one at all!

Slowly insert one bead at a time until all three beads are fully inside. Then – enjoy!





Small Gold Butt Plug (£29)
Small Gold Butt Plug (£29)


Gold Butt Plug should really be called “Beautiful Butt Plug” because that’s what it is!

Simply stunning, it adds a tempting sparkliness to your rear whilst the weighty steel offers delicious sensations for the internal part of your butt.

Small enough to wear whilst you go about your daily business, but heavy so you will be constantly aware of the sensations and the squeeze it takes to hold it in place…




Curved Vibrating Butt Plug (£24)
Curved Vibrating Butt Plug (£24)


Vibrating Butt plug adds a delicious buzz to the feeling of fullness.

Vibration can help relax, as well as delivery waves of thrilling sensations throughout the whole genital area.

You can either choose one with a bullet in the base, which is best if you’d like constant and even stimulation.

Or choose one with a separate controller handset, which is easier to operate, if you would like your partner to ‘take charge’ of the sensations or if you would change intensity of vibration, throughout play…



Remember always use lube for all anal play! With butt plugs, we advice you apply it to your bum-hole and the tip/ main shaft of the toy, but wipe it off the base, just to be sure you can get a grip for removing it…

Is a Butt Plug the Right Sex Toy for You?

A butt plug is best for anal sex play that requires little or no movement. Whether enjoyed as a side dish to other sexual activities or as the main event, it simply fills you with an ever-present feeling of fullness, as well as focussing your mind on back-door sensations…

If you are looking for a toy for a sliding-in-and-out anal sex, an anal dildo is better than a butt plug, as the regular girth offers smoother penetration.



lubricant advice

Lube for Anal Sex

The lowdown on the best lubes for anal play…

Using lube for anal sex is crucial as the anus doesn’t produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Lube protects anal tissues which are more delicate and easily torn than those of the vagina. Using lots of lube during every kinds of anal play is absolutely key to ensuring anal sex is ALL pleasure and NO pain.

Anal pleasure requires a slow pace and using lube ensures that everything feels slippery and sensual throughout the journey.

From the very beginning, through to the point where anal muscles relax enough to be receptive to penetration, and all through your anal sex session, you should ensure everything starts out coated, and remains coated in lube. Keep applying, as any ‘drag’ can cause tension and tension is the enemy of pleasurable anal sex!

Use lube is essential during all anal play - A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting...
Use lube is essential during all anal play – A water-based anal lube is thicker, more viscous and longer-lasting…

Best Water Based Lube for Anal Sex

Standard water-based lube may dry up too quickly for the slow pace of anal sex so chose a thicker water-based lube such as  Sh! Pure PlusMaximus or Probe Classic Thick.

These lubes contain less water and so evaporate slower and have a thicker consistency than regular water-based lubes, which means they coat and cling to toys, fingers and condoms for longer…

Thick water-based lube can be used to enhance all sex-play, so it’s a great choice if you prefer to have just one lube-type by your bed – if you find it a little thick for other activities it can be simply watered down with a little purified water or even saliva.


Water-based lube is the best lube to choose if you are playing with any silicone anal toys, such as butt plugs and anal beads, or pegging  / performing anal sex with a silicone dildo.






Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe...
Silicone Lube feels oily, like a light baby oil but is body and condom-safe…

Best Oil-Based Lube for Anal Sex

Some people prefer to use oil-based lube for anal sex as, without the evaporating qualities of water, it provides unsurpassed, super long-lasting and uber-slippy lubrication.

As the anus naturally flushes itself, it is less vulnerable to oil-induced infection than the vagina.

BUT oil-based lubes will rot a condom in seconds and will damage the surface of many anal toys, which is why we don’t stock oil-based anal lubes and caution against using mineral or vegetable oil-based products as lubricant.

The only oil-based lube we recommend, or offer, are silicone-based lube such as Eros Pjur Woman LubeSh! Silicone Lube or ID Millennium

These lubes deliver an oily-feeling AND keep anal pleasuring and non-silicone anal toys super-safe as well as super-slippery.


Q&A: How to Ass-Finger with Long Nails?

Dear Sh!

Whilst making love, my lover likes me to slip a finger in their ass but my nails are long and I’m worried I’ll hurt them – Have you got any advice or tips on how to satify my partner, without doing any harm?




Dear Tabby

Good question! And it’s really great that you’re thinking about this, rather than simply delving in, as ass-fingering with talons is tricky!

The anus is very delicate and easily torn so all nails (whether long or short) should be well groomed and smooth before going anywhere near a delicate tush.

We recommend using latex in all anal play as it adds a silky smooth touch as well as keeping things safe.

The anus is protected by only very fine skin and is easily scratched so ass-fingering is best done by latex-covered fingers.

We recommend you wear latex gloves for ass-fingering because you can squish cotton wool balls under long nails before covering them in latex, you’ll take the edge off your talons as well as protecting the glove from potential tears.

This will protect your lover’s anus but there are more reasons to rubber-up for ass fingering….

Latex Gloves - £4 for pack of 10 (5 pairs)
Latex Gloves – £4 for pack of 10 (5 pairs)

Lube is easier to apply and doesn’t get as easily absorbed when you wear latex glove for ass fingering.

Anal pleasure is  a long leisurely journey, not a speedy sprint, and ensuring everything stays nicely lubricated for the full duration is key it’s all pleasure and no pain.

-Latex-covered, your fingers will feel sleeker, so you can feel more and be more in tune with whats going on.
– They help to take care of any cleanliness issues – both your fingers and their anus…

– And just the sight and sound of you snapping on a latex glove will make your lover tingle with excitement and anticipation!


If you’d like to take anal exploration further than fingers, which are the best toys?

Sometimes it’s hard to reach round and give your lover the anal pleasuring they desire with just your fingers, so if you need extra reach or would like to try something other than fingers, take a look at our range of Butt Plugs and anal-safe Silicone Dildos.

Hope this info is helpful. If you’d like any more advice, just get in touch.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

All names have been changed for anonymity 

Beginners anal advice

Q&A: Does Anal Sex Hurt?

Dear Sh!

Both me and my partner are curious to try anal sex and the idea of it really turns me on but also I’m really scared it’s going to hurt.  It seems like a common  acceptance/joke that anal is always painful and yet lots of people also seem to be doing it, so I’m really confused – do they just grit their teeth or is there really pleasure ( as in my  fantasies) to be had?

Maybe it’s a pain/pleasure thing? If so, I’d really like to know before I get any deeper ( so to speak!) as pain really isn’t my thing!

I’d be grateful for any advice you can give.



Hi Sandra,

You’re right, from jokes and sitcoms to more highbrow knowledge imparting there’s an accepted ‘truth’ that anytime anything goes up  the bum is going to hurt like hell!  And yet, from porn films to colonic irrigation, there’s plenty to suggest that anal can be pleasurable and completely pain-free.

The key to the difference is relaxation. Lets take this away from the sex for a minute and think about this in terms of colonic irrigation (where the practitioner puts a a pipe up your bum and washes you out from the inside) No one is going to pay good money to have this done if it’s painful, are they? The practioner knows you must be relaxed and creates an environment to ensure you are. She explains what will happen, so you are fully informed – no sudden movements or nasty surprises! She’ll use lube and patience and most crucially, you will be in charge.

So, take all and transfer it over to anal sex and you’ll see there are 3 elements to ensure it is pain-free;

Without all three, anal sex will hurt. The biggest barrier for first-timers is the anxiety that it WILL hurt, which, of course tenses everything up and ensures it does – a viscous cycle if ever there was one!

The pain comes from the internal anal sphincter muscle which must be very relaxed for pain-free anal sexPain is your body’s warning system to stop or slow down.

The problem is that the receptive partner doesn’t actually have any conscious control over relaxing this muscle. If it constricts  involuntarily, forcing anal sex will hurt. This is why you must try to be really in-tune with what your body is telling you and able to communicate it to your partner.

It’s crucial that the receptive partner of anal sex controls the pace…

At the beginning it may feel really alien to your body to have something going up your bum and we’d suggest that before you try with a penis or dildo, you experiment first with a finger, a small, slim butt plug or anal vibrator.

A vibrating anal toy is a great way to explore your derriére desires for the first time as vibration is excellent for relaxing those extra sensitive anal nerve endings as well sending pleasurable thrills throughout the whole pelvic area.

We also think it’s better for newbies to explore the sensations on your own, rather than with a partner, as this removes any pressure or impatience to ‘get on with in’ because, when you’re aroused, you may feel ready to involve your partner before you actually are. Playing solo ensures you can concentrate wholly on yourself and the sensations you’re feeling…

Anal lube is simply extra thick and/or super slippery so toys, fingers or penises stay coated for longer. The key is to ensure everything glides and never drags; gliding is the physical equivalent of relaxing, whilst dragging is the equivalent of tensing ( remember, tensing = possible pain) which is why using lube, and LOTS of it, frequently re-applied, is essential.

It can take a long time for your body to become accustomed to, and really relax into the sensations of anal play, so never think of it as a race, but more like a meander…

Once you feel ready to involve your partner, communication needs to be added to the mix. We know that talking about sex can be hard but it is key to ensuring anal sex  is a positive experience for both partners and one you’d like to try again and again…

You could start off giving them a one woman performance on your newfound anal confidence with your toys or fingers. This will show your partner the kind of pace and depth you find most arousing. Before inviting them to become involved in a more ‘hands on’ (or penis/dildo in!) capacity, talk and agree together that you are in control of the action and pace. If you need to slow down or stop altogether, it’s much better to do so.  Gritting teeth or soldering on is totally counter-productive because that’s likely to be the very  last time you ever want to try anal sex!

In terms of positions, ‘doggy-style’ maybe the anal position that springs first to mind, but actually this isn’t the best, especially for newcomers.  Being on top, where you can lower yourself onto your lover or toys is another way for you to feel and be in control of pace and depth.

We hope this has helped give you the confidence to go ahead and explore turning your fantasies into pleasurable anal reality!

Have fun


All names are changed for the purposes of anonymity.


Q&A Ask Sh!

Q&A: Best Toy for Anal Sex: Butt Plug or Dildo?

Dear Sh!

Please could you give me some advice on which is best toy for anal sex – a  butt plug or a dildo?

I’m kind of new to all this and would appreciate some advice.

Thanks in advance…



Hi Alex,

So, choosing the right kind of sex toy for anal play depends on how you want to use the toy and the kind of  pleasure you’d like to experience from it. But as a beginner it’s very difficult to know!

Probably the best way it to start your anal discovery with a finger, covered in a condom or latex glove, if you’d prefer….

Cover both your anus and finger with some lube and gently, with patience, start exploring.

Going in will essentially feel the same, but once up there, do you prefer simply the feeling of fullness of your finger staying put or do you prefer a sliding in and out motion?


Beginners Butt Plug £15
Beginners Butt Plug £15

Butt Plugs – Best For Feelings of Still Fullness…

If you more prefer a feeling of fullness, then a butt plug is a great anal sex toy for you as, after the initial insertion,  it’s not designed for much movement, beyond a slight wiggle or tilt.

The narrow neck at a butt plug’s base is what makes it stay in place – your sphincture muscle will naturally close around where it is narrowest – so, whilst there are no rules to how you must play with any sex toys and you can make small in-out movements with it,  it may feel jarring to try to slide a butt plug in-and-out once this muscle has tensed around the narrow neck portion.

A butt plug is a good toy to get a ‘feel’ of what it’s like simply to have something up your bum, which in itself can be very arousing.





Wirly Girly 2 - Our most popular anal dildo
Wirly Girly 2 – Our most popular anal dildo

Anal Dildos – Best for In-and-Out Strokes…

If you crave a feeling of stroking in-and-out, then a dildo is actually the best toy for this kind of anal pleasure, because they have regular shafts, with no pronounced narrowing.

Again, there’s NO rules and you can simply slide a dildo inside and hold it there with no movement. But, unlike a butt plug, you can’t really let go, as the anus’ natural instinct is to (ahem) ‘expel’ …so it will start to slide out.

Our dildos start from finger- size, like the Wirly Girly 1 Slim Dildo, so even if you are new to anal sex, you won’t be feel overwhelmed.

If you plan to  strap on a dildo for anal sex with your male or female lover, then you’ll need a longer dildo such as Wirly Girly 2 Slim Dildo  or, even Wirly Girly 3 Slim Dildo as some of the dildo’s length is lost once it’s worn in a harness.

Both these styles are super popular anal dildos; slim enough for unintimidating anal sex, with gently ribbed shafts for stimulating the responsive nerve-endings in the anal canal and the extra length allows for proper strokes, without the toy slipping out altogether which can be frustrating!

The bases of all Sh! dildos & butt plugs are all safe for anal play as they flare enough to prevent dildos from slipping inside and getting lost inside.

Remember, whenever you play – lubricant is your friend and absolutely key to pleasurable anal sex, so whichever toy you choose, treat it and yourself with a lovely coat of lube to ensure maximum glide and pleasure.

Hope this helps and do give us a shout if you need any more advice

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

All names have been changed for the purposes of anonymity


Advice Anal Play & Pleasure

Anal Sex Toys & Pleasure

The closest erogenous zone to the genitals, the anus is richly endowed with highly responsive nerve-endings which become even more sensitive during arousal and throb pleasurably during orgasm.

Apart from simply being a super-sensitive pleasure area in itself, anal sex stimulates specific erogenous zones for both men and women.

Anal Sexual Pleasure For Women:

  • Anal sex also stimulates the clitoral legs: the two shafts of erectile tissue that extend inside from the clitoris, which contain lots of sensitive nerve-endings. 
  • The wall between vagina and rectum is thin enough to pleasure your G-Spot though your back-door.

Anal Sexual Pleasure For Men:

  •  Half of your penis is actually inside your body, continuing back almost to the anus, so anal sex can pleasure you from the inside, out!
  • Most importantly, you have your own special spot called the prostate which is capable of giving you mind-blowing orgasms.

It sometimes has a bad reputation about being painful, but in fact anal sex should never hurt.

If it does, you are taking things too quickly or not using enough lubricant.

Patience and a slow, teasing pace are essential to relaxing anal muscles and enjoying anal sex / anal sex toys.

Inside the anus are two sets of sphincter muscles; the first can be tensed at will, whilst the second constricts involuntarily.

anal sphincter muscles
anal sphincter muscles

This is why, even if you are trying to relax into the delights of anal pleasure, your body might resist. This is when anal sex can hurt and forcing the issue will only result in the muscles resisting further!

Only by taking as much time as the body needs to open up to anal pleasure, and by using plenty of lube, will delicate tushies be kept safe, happy and relaxed enough to enjoy anal sex/toys to the full.

All toys destined for anal play need to be ‘anal-safe

There’s 3 things to check for before introducing your tush to a sex toy

  1. Anal -Safe Design. Just as – ahem – it’s an exit from the body, it can also be an entrance. Putting it bluntly, toys can get lost up there. So, make sure your anal sex toy has  either:
  • a wide or flared base, which as a ‘stop’ no matter how excited you get
  • a long handle that you are sure you can keep a firm grip upon – (keep it and your fingers  free of lube)
  • a ring in which to slip your finger and hold tight!

2. Smooth, Non-Porous Surface: Your bum is a delicate flower with thin, ‘nickable’ skin ( much more so that the vajay) so any sex toy for anal play needs to be smooth and seamless.  For peace of mind, it should also be non-porous, so it can easily be cleaned/sterilized.

3. Flexible enough to bend with the natural curves of the anus. Around 4 inches inside, the anal canal bends, so any toy longer than this should be flexible, in order not to ‘bump’ and feel uncomfortable.

Anal Sex Toy Materials

Silicone:  We believe this is the very best material for anal sex toys as it’s sensually smooth, soft, flexible, non-porous and super easy to keep clean. If the toy is non-vibrating, or contains a removable bullet, you can even sterilize it.  Use water-based lube with silicone toys as silicone lube, over time, can start to degrade the smooth surface of your toy.

Glass: Smooth , cool and firm,  glass delivers sensually sleek sensations like no other sex toy material. You can use any type of lubricant with glass and a little goes a long way. Glass toys can be warmed by running under that hot tap before you play. Can be sterilized.

Steel: Very similar to glass but has an added weightiness that can feel sensational anally. The weight also makes for incredible prostate massage.

All these materials are body-safe, which means they wont disclose any substances ( is chemicals) into you body as well as non-porous which means they won’t absorb anything from your body either.

Hygiene is clearly an important factor when we’re talking bum-fun, which is why the best anal sex toys are non-porous toys that you can clean/ sterilize thoroughly. Condoms can be used on any toys and make for quick, easy peace-of-mind clean up.

So, safety message over.

Now let’s take off into the wonderful world of anal sex toys.


There are essentially 5 types of anal sex toys

Understanding the different sensations delivered by different anal toys is key to choosing the right anal toy for you.

Each provide a very different kind of anal pleasure.

Choosing your first anal toy can be mind-boggling and intimidating, especially if you’re going in blind, so here we’ll briefly describe the different sensations they deliver.

A Butt Plug has a sphincter-stop at its base and is designed to be 'worn' providing a feeling of fullness
A Butt Plug has a snarrow neck at its base and is designed to be ‘worn’ providing a feeling of fullness

Butt Plug is a stay-put anal sex toy, designed to be ‘worn’.

The narrow neck of a butt-plug prompts sphincter muscles to squeeze around where it’s slimmest, thus holding it in place.

Butt plugs are not designed to be moved in-and-out, but eased inside where they stay put ( thou they will often need a hand to keep them in place as it’s the body’s natural reflex to ‘expel’ from this area! ) providing a pleasurable feeling of fullness and pressure.

Butt plugs are available in both vibrating and non-vibrating options, from the tiny-sized and up.

Read More: How to use a Butt Plug


An anal dildo has a regular shaft ( that maybe ribbed for pleasure) designed to be moved in and out
An anal dildo has a regular shaft ( that maybe ribbed for pleasure) designed to be moved in and out…

A dildo used as anal sex toy  will give smoother penetrative sensations.

A dildo is best for a sliding-in-and-out feeling or for anal sex with a strap-on, whether with your female partner or ‘pegging’ your male partner.

Whether worn in a harness or used hand-held, a dildo ( rather than a butt-plug) is best for delivering smooth, penetrative sensations as there’s no sphincter-stop for the anal muscles to close in around.

In our anal dildo section, we list our most popular dildos bought at our store specifically for anal pleasure but feel free to choose any Sh! silicone dildo – their wide bases make every one totally safe for anal play.

Read More:




Anal beads are a string of graduated beads, with sphincter-stops after each bead.
Anal beads are a string of graduated beads, with sphincter-stops after each bead.

Anal Beads deliver the repeated feeling of anal muscles opening and closing.

One of the easiest, most accessible anal sex toys for beginners, anal beads are a flexible string of molded beads, with a sphincture stop after each one. They gently graduate in size.

These are great anal toys if you enjoy the feeling of anal muscles repeatedly opening and contracting, as you get to experience this sensation with each new bead.

Some people experience more intense orgasms if anal beads are pulled out during climax.

Read More: Beginners Guide to Anal Beads


An anal vibrator is usually for plug, bead penetrative or prostate sensations but with the added vibration too
An anal vibrator is usually for plug, bead, penetrative or prostate sensations but with the added vibration too

An anal vibrator can help relax anal muscles.

The shape of an anal vibrator will give you a clue as to the kind of pleasure it will deliver; stay-put plug; ‘popping’ beads; in-and-out penetration; specific prostate massage but it will also vibrate.

The sensation of vibration around the super sensitive anal area can feel mind-blowingly intense. Plus the vibrations themselves can distract your body away any reflexes of resistance, ie the buzz physically helps relax tense anal muscles.

Read More: Anal Vibrator Best Sellers



Many Prostate massagers have a 'stay-put' shape that's specially curved to stimulate the prostate and  his perineum too...
Many Prostate massagers have a ‘stay-put’ shape that’s specially curved to stimulate the prostate and  his perineum too…

A prostate massager is an anal sex toy specially for the male g-spot.

It is designed to stimulate the prostate located a couple of inches inside his bum. Many men report amazing orgasms through prostate massage and some can even climax through this alone.

All prostate massagers will be curved, to a slighter or greater degree, as inside, his prostate  is towards the front of his body.

Many are c-shaped with a perineum-stimulating base – these are designed for hands-free, stay-in-place pleasure, whether solo or with a partner.


These are the main types of anal sex toys and briefly what pleasures they deliver.

We give more in-depth advice on each of the different toys; how to choose and use them on each of their pages.  If you would like to know more, simply head over to each section.


Looking for a toy for double penetration; ie vaginal and anal sex at the same time?

DP  is something many couples, both straight and lesbian,  would like to try.

Double Diver £28 - A cock ring with addached anal dildo for double penetration
Double Diver £28 – A cock ring with attached anal dildo for double penetration

The Double Diver is the best toy we have found for this.

Essentially a cock-ring, designed for a man to wear on his penis, with the clitoral stimulator buzzing away on his female partner’s clit (in missionary and woman-on-top positions) whilst the lower dildo provides her with anal/double penetration.

It can be used in the same way, slipped onto a dildo during strap-on sex, too.



Anal Lubricant is simply thicker & longer-lasting than regular lube. Lubricant is essential for the delicate anal area and slow pace of anal pleasure...
Anal Lubricant is simply thicker & longer-lasting than regular lube. Lube is essential for the delicate anal area and slow pace of anal pleasure…

Lube is essential for all anal sex, including toys.

The anus doesn’t self-lubricate and naturally resists if stimulation doesn’t feel smooth and ‘resistance-free’.

Adding lube ensures that everything is kept super-sensual and deliciously slippery.

Anal lubricant is thicker and lasts longer than regular lube, which is why it is recommended for the gentle art of sensual anal pleasuring.

Remember, whichever toy you go for, put a generous dollop of lubricant on the tip of your toy and the anal area before you play, wiping any excess off  handle/base to ensure it’s not too slippery to keep a firm hold on.


Anal douching is not at all necessary but may help you feel more relaxed and so more receptive to anal pleasure...
Anal douching is not at all necessary but may help you feel more relaxed and so more receptive to anal pleasure…

Sensual, pain-free anal sex is all about being super-relaxed.

If worrying about ‘you-know-what’ ( yes- we’re talking poo)  will just make you tense, then starting your anal adventure in the shower is a good place to ensure you feel fresh and relaxed.

And whilst it’s by no way essential and is not an anal sex toy in the true sense (though it can feel very pleasurable) a douche will give you extra confidence about being super-clean for your anal play.


Latex gloves turn fingers into sleek anal pleasure-providers.
Latex gloves turn fingers into sleek anal pleasure-providers.

Latex gloves turn hands and fingers into smooth operators.

Snaggy or long nails might hurt your lovers delicate anal area? A cut on your hands or bitten-down fingernails,  which may make manual anal play unsafe? Or maybe you just feel a little squeamish about using hands or fingers for anal play?

A latex glove has the problem covered!

Plus, they sound sexy when snapped on suggestively and are perfect for medical fantasy role-play.



Analingus or ‘rimming’ is using your tongue to pleasure the anal area.

Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka 'rimming'
Latex Dam (£2) for anal oral sex, aka ‘rimming’

A dam can be used to cover the anal area so you can  probe and lick away without a care in the world.

Both participants can worry about not always being fresh as a daisy ‘down there’.

This is understandable,  given the hang-ups and insecurities many of us have been given around this subject,

But worrying isn’t conducive to hot sex, just as rushing off to shower isn’t conducive to spontaneous sex.  A dam is simply a cheap, easy and tasty (they come in different flavours) way to enjoy relaxed impulsive rimming.


We hope you enjoy all your anal adventures!