sex shop diaries

Sex Shop Diaries – Celebrities in the shop, vibrators thrown about and female ejaculation

Monday

Our favourite female celebrity and a group of her friends comes in (all looking absolutely fabulous) and we’re ridiculously thrilled that they have chosen a trip to Sh! as part of an all-girl all-day birthday celebration. They laugh and squeal, spank each other and discuss best practice for hand-jobs. We feel like the indulgent parents overseeing a girls get-together – although it must be said that most parents probably wouldn’t encourage their offspring to try on thigh harnesses, lick lube off their fingers or stroke the dildos… They debate whether or not to tweet about their trip to Sh! – of course, we’re all for it!

Tuesday

The crew filming for a Swedish documentary is causing chaos at the shop. Whilst disruptive, this is great exposure (a stampede of Swedes come over to UK for shopping every year) so we’ve agreed for the shop to be featured. It’s an episode about “porn & erotica with a would-be amateur-porn actress” (their words, not ours), which does sound like lots of fun.

40 minutes later and we’re  sorely disappointed; the would-be actress finds sex toys ‘cheesy’ and doesn’t want to be filmed with them, which makes the clip filmed on the shop floor rather dull.

A visit to Sh! should always be fun. Oh well.

A woman comes in, and we start chatting over a cup of tea. She tells us about her new-ish job, and that her boss has asked her to leave three  times so far,  but she refuses on he grounds that pay is too good. This has us in stitches – we didn’t know it was possible to refuse to be sacked!

The Swedish film crew should be filming this woman instead.

Wednesday

The phone rings, we pick up and a male voice states that he ‘needs someone for tonight’. 

We’re not entirely clear on what he expects us to do about it.

Thursday

One of our favourite customers stops by. She’s a survivor of sexual assault, and comes in for advice every now and again. We talk about the toys we’ve recommended to her, and how much she likes them.  As it turns out, a recent session with one purchase caused her to ejaculate unexpectedly – we tell her this is cause for celebration!

She leaves with a smile.

Friday

We love hearing, or in this case, piecing together, stories behind the sex toys we sell. Here’s a tale of a vibrator that came a cropper; of an argument between husband & wife; of a man who turns from sarky to sheepish in just one day…

A fella calls up our store, arguing that he *must* visit this evening, albeit without his lady. Why the urgency? Well, him and his missus have had a *lovely* argument (his words), and she threw her Fun Factory Boss vibrator into the wall, and it broke. He hopes to get back into her good books by buying her a new sex toy.

When he doesn’t turn up, the Sh! team concludes that either she’s cello-taped her vibrator back up, or they are still arguing.

The next day, a guy calls up our store  in a fluster. The story is very similar; he and his wife argued over the weekend and all ended in tears… a vibe was thrown and now he is sheepishly coming to replace it.

Now, either this is the same bloke or women are throwing their vibes with wild abandon. We’ve heard lots of stories of victimised vibes and distressed dildos, of sex toys that don’t survive an argument or relationship breakdown. Not surprising really, that as voices are raised, toys are grabbed –the intimacy intertwined with a sex toy makes it a great weapon for cutting to the heart!

PS: The guy DID make it to our Hoxton store to replace his Mrs’s vibrator. We showed him some Lelo vibrators, which women LOVE and which make fab presents., but he chose a cheaper Fun Factory toy… He says he’s sorry, but not THAT sorry!

Hope to tell you more next week, or maybe see you in the shop?

Have a fantastic weekend,

Team Sh! xx

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