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Sex In Your 50’s & 60’s

‘Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength’    Betty Friedan

Thinking of parents having sex can feel disturbing, and something most of us avoid like the plague. We know we should be adult enough about these things, but when your mum’s new boyfriend asks – across the dining table, no less – if you sell Viagra, you’ll be excused for having suddenly gone off your Sunday dinner. Some things are just too close for comfort.

Having had some time (years) to get over said incident, and having spent even more time (years) thinking about it, we have come to a conclusion: sex is important to all of us, regardless of age. Even if it does involve your mum.

Finding yourself single in your 50’s or 60’s after decades as a firm twosome can be disorienting and scary.

Sex may or may not be the first thing a newly-single woman thinks about, but eventually the mind is likely to go there: What if? When? How? Could I even..?

As confidence grows, you might start thinking about dating again, and all of a sudden you realise that the options on what in the past may have been a very limited menu, are now all yours to pick & choose from – a virtual buffet of pleasure! Embracing your new-found status as a sassy singleton goes from being terrifying to right down exhilarating.

Blue rinses used to be a sign of having reached a certain age, of being ‘past it’, but these days it shows you’ve still got it: women of all ages are getting blue, pink or purple highlights, with many more choosing to rock their natural silver strands – which looks awesome, by the way!

Getting a cut & colour (upstairs & downstairs), taking up a new hobby and joining one of the many dating apps for the over 50’s are all things that can help a single woman feel more in charge of her budding love life. Because it is budding, a late awakening of sorts – it is new, fresh and exciting: doing all the things you’ve read about and finally have the confidence to not only ask for, but also try out.

We’ve had the pleasure of speaking to many of these feisty women during their visits to our shop in Hoxton, and we’re always thrilled. These women are having fun, and they are on the look-out for lovers or life partners who are equally keen on exploring sexual possibilities. They have spent far too long going without or making-do with someone else’s pleasure; they are ready to rumble around in the sheets with gusto.

Love FingersWe know one such lovely couple. They are both retired, and have plenty of time for their two hobbies: travelling and sex. They stop by from time to time, looking for new vibrating gizmos or sexy outfits to keep the fires burning. The husband buzzes around her like a hormonal teenager, and he is more than happy to buy anything and everything that piques her interest – he has a vested interest, after all. It is clear that sex is important to them and it is heart-warming to see how happy and in love they are.

Sex, in your mature years, is not only excellent for getting the blood pumping and putting a youthful spring in your step, but it has a number of other benefits too:

  • Sex reduces stress
  • Enhances your mood
  • Strengthens the immune system
  • Boosts self-esteem
  • Relieves depression
  • Revs up creative energy
  • Makes skin glow
  • Feels good!

There is one thing in particular the silver generation like to ask us about: orgasms.

They may have spent the better part of 2-3 decades tending to family, cooking, cleaning and perhaps even performing ‘wifely duties’ after dark with little to no expectation for pleasure of their own.

Often they feel they have a lot of catching up to do…

The first stop should always be the lube shelf. For most women, age & menopause causes the vaginal membranes to become thinner and drier which often makes for uncomfortable play. You may have heard that ‘women don’t need lube, they should be wet enough‘ but that’s an outdated belief that needs to be unsubscribed to sharpish.

Lube Shelf

A bottle of viscous lube should be a staple, and as a modern woman in charge of her own pleasure, you should have a bottle handy for all sexual adventures. Plus, lube often double as excellent hand creams.

We often get asked if it isn’t ’embarrassing’ to bring out a bottle of lube and the answer is always, in one word: no. It really isn’t. It shows you are prepared for pleasure & play, and to be honest; you don’t want sex to get chafey… That really isn’t fun or pleasurable. We say: wield your bottle of lube with pride!

Je Joue Ami

Love Balls are essential – childbirth and ageing takes a natural toll whether we like it or not. Keeping vaginal muscles in good shape is important: it helps avoid leaky issues, and it’ll encourage stronger orgasms too.

Pop a pair of love balls in as you go about your day and you’ll find it’s a way of training that requires very little input, but still delivers maximum output. The balls will rock & roll against your G-spot as you move about, which can be very arousing…

Je Joue Ami, a set of three weighted pelvic floor exercisers encased in sensual silicone, is a fantastic kit. The idea is to progressively tone up the pelvic floor by using increasingly heavier weights. Over time, you’ll develop better control which means you’ll feel more during penetrative sex. It’s a win-win!

As the body ages, arousal can take a little longer, but with the help of a pleasure gel or oil  you’ll find that your vulva may still be exceptionally responsive. These products enhance blood flow to the lady garden, making labia lips and clitoris swell with pleasure.

Add a little bit of the enhancing gel or oil directly to your finger, and then massage it into the tissue around the clitoris. You’ll feel a warm, tingling sensation – this is the product working its magic.

Age can change how sexual pleasure feels, and clitoral sensitivity may increase or decrease.

If it’s the latter, a small but intense vibrator buzzing away on and around the clit can be a game changer. The Sh! Secret vibe offers 20 different settings and packs a real pleasure punch.

Sh! Easy Egg Vibrator (£19) Strong and quiet, with stimulating soft sleeve, 3 speeds + pulse settings.

If the high pitched buzz of Sh! Secret isn’t for you, we recommend giving Sh! Easy Egg a chance. A lower, rumblier vibration can help tip you over the edge faster than you can steep a cup of tea… It takes 2 x AAA batteries – handy – and the soft cover with its raised nodules offer extra texture to rub against.

Sh! Easy Egg has a cord between the vibrating egg and the control. This is works especially well for couples’ play – your partner can hold the control whilst you enjoy the egg, so you are still playing together.

The We Vibe Tango is also a hit with our more mature customers. It’s a stylish lipstick-style vibe with 8 modes and USB charger. It’s really easy to hold and place against various hot spots. If discreet design is important, We Vibe Tango looks just like a designer lippy.  And – one more thing, Tango is 100% waterproof for play in the bath or shower.

Fun Factory Semilino is a cute, smaller-sized vibe with a number of different setting to enjoy. Lube up the ridges on the shaft before inserting, and then practice doing your pelvic floor squeezes around the vibe. We promise a work out has never been so much fun!

Self-lubricating internal vibe Cascade with its soft, rippled tip is perfect for stimulating the G-spot. A press of a button releases just the right amount of lube for comfortable play. We often hear women say their G-spot became more sensitive and more receptive to stimulation as they got older. Jiggle Cascade in firm come-hither motions on your G-spot and you might just find that a super-strong orgasm is happy to make its way over to you…

For women who want it all – and who doesn’t! – Demona Wave Vibrator is a great choice. Ergonomically designed, the curved shaft presses against the G-spot and slowly strokes it when the extraordinary wave motion is activated. Meanwhile, the soft clitoral stimulator deliver vibration to the clit and you may find yourself enjoying what’s known as a blended orgasm.

video_demona

Last but not least, we also want to draw your attention to Wand vibrators. These have been popular toys since the 70’s when Godmother of Masturbation, Betty Dodson started the first version of her famous BodySex workshops – teaching women how to masturbate to orgasm. In a group! (We are maybe a little bit too British for that, but our classes on female arousal & orgasms are pretty darn good too.) Now in her 80’s, Betty is still going strong – a true inspiration!

But back to the Wands – high intensity with a deep rumble, it is very hard to not have on orgasms with one of these. If your libido is very low, a Wand buzzing away on the clitoris can help kickstart arousal and pleasure again.

We love to hear from our mature customers, so feel free to leave us a message below – tips, tricks, advice, we’re looking forward to all of it. Or, if you have a question for us, please email advice@sh-womenstore.com and we’ll be able to offer tailored advice. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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