So this month we held our very own Erotic Writing Competition to help get you in the mood for our Essential Elements of Erotic Writing Workshop. The theme was ‘Sex Over 50’ and we noticed a definite couger vibe in the entries. If you’d like to hear the winning entries please come along to our FREE erotic event on Friday.
Thank you so much to everyone who entered, we really enjoyed reading all your entries and we’re very excited to announce our winners.
In first place Cherry Bare, for her story ‘Our Holiday Saga‘ which caused much merriment amongst the Sh! Team.
Scroll down to read her winning entry, what really won it was this classic line:
‘Well, I like sushi and saki, so maybe I should try bukaki….”
Find out more about her writing at www.uksherka.com @Uksherka
Our second place award went to the wonderful Scandarella, we knew she could write a great sex toy review so it should be no surprise that her erotic writing was top notch.
We’d also like to give an honorable mention to Megan Barnett @ for her story. You will be able to read both of the runners up in a blog post next week.
Our Holiday Saga – WINNER of the Sh! September Stories Competition
I rolled off Roger and fell back against the pillows, sated and content. He still had it, could still take me over the edge with those dextrous fingers, that eager tongue and his silky cock. Neither of us minded he needed a bit more help and time these days for his climaxes. He was in fine form for a man in his late 60s – god bless those little blue pills. As we relaxed I looked at my own 50-something body. My tits were still firm, stomach not too flabby. I knew that young guy next door looked at me when he thought I didn’t notice. Would his wife mind, I wondered. With two small children, she was probably too exhausted to care. I bet he watched MILF porn. Sometimes I’d watch MILF porn. My mind began to wander to youthful, broad shoulders, firm arms, tan, smooth chests, rock-hard abs and stiff cocks. Roger noticed I was getting activated again.
‘Shall I give you a toy, love?’ Such a thoughtful man, my Roger. I was off again.
It was a small ad at the back of the magazine, the print so tiny, I could hardly make it out. ‘Unforgettable holidays and cruises for over 50s’–that’s what I thought it meant to say. But what it actually said was ‘cruising’, as in ‘Come with us for an unforgettable holiday and cruising for over 50s’. They need a proof reader I thought. There was a web link for further info. The travel company was familiar to me, but I hadn’t noticed the ‘special interest’ tab before. Amidst the bird watching and foodie offers was something called ‘Fun For Over 50s’. ‘Prepare to let your senses explode’ was how the page began. It then continued in delicious detail on the ‘more info’ PDF. As I read I began to feel flush at what was on offer. Had a mainstream site really gone this much outside the box? Enquiring minds wanted to know. And so reasonably priced!
‘Wanna give this a go, dear?’ I said to Roger as he sat reading the paper at breakfast the next morning. I dropped the printed pdf into his lap, ‘accidentally’ brushing his cock. His face popped around the newspaper. ‘Hmmm….?’ I gestured for him to have a read. There was nothing for several minutes, then he put down his paper. ‘Intriguing,’ he said, ‘but it sounds like a lot of work.’ I tried not to look disappointed. After a pause he said, ‘Why don’t you go with your friends.’ Now it was my turn to say ‘Hmmm….? You understand it’s a two week package.’ I said. ‘Tell me all about it when you get back,’ and Roger went back to his reading. ‘You will be rewarded,’ I told him and began to formulate a plan.
Marcie’s 50th could provide, the perfect opportunity for a holiday— she was the last in our group to enter the Fab 50 club.
We’d serenade her through this key life event. If anybody needed a partner pass, they could simply say this was a girls-only affair. Which was certainly true.
To my delight the girls were completely up for it—even Sonia who blushed all the way through ‘Calendar Girls.’ I thought Linda might balk at the thought of leaving Stan behind, but she got the ball rolling. ‘I’m ordering package Number 3: ‘Twenty-four hour beach-side sex at your convenience. Includes meals and wine.’
‘They must be quite young if they can offer round-the-clock cock,’ Jenny mused. ‘I might do the ‘Up all night’ experience. I’d want to swim and read during the day and work on my tan. It still offers all-day cocktails.’
‘There’s a gym offering classes called ‘Sexercise’!’ Gaby exclaimed. I think I might check out the advanced level. Since I dumped Larry, I could use a good workout–though I am very tempted by package 11: ‘Loads of Bang for your Buck.’ I’ve always had a thing for drummers!!…’ We nodded our approval. I couldn’t help but feel pleased as we oooh’ed and ahhh’ed over the offerings, giggling and guffawing like schoolgirls.
‘I’m curious about package Number 4,’ Sonia said, surprising us all. ‘Really?’ Linda asked. ‘Are you sure that’s your thing, honey?’
‘Well, I like sushi and saki, so maybe I should try bukaki….Do you think I’d like it?’
‘You might want to choose something else,’ I advised. ‘It’s rather messy.’
‘There’s something called tarmacking…’
‘Even messier!’ I said. ‘Choose again.’
‘What are you going to have, Ange?’ Linda asked me. ‘This was your idea. I hope you’ve picked something fabulous.’ I had. ‘I’m going for the all-night double-dip delight, featuring chocolate and vanilla.’ The girls whooped in excitement.
We then turned to Marcie. She’d been studying the pamphlet intently and hadn’t been quite as exuberant as the others. I feared it was her Catholic upbringing still meddling with her mind and guilting her soul. ‘Marcie, birthday girl, what sounds good to you?’ I asked. ‘Don’t hold back. Choose whatever you like.’
‘I’m not completely sure,’ she stuttered. ‘A lot of this is new to me. Fred and I didn’t exactly experiment…’
‘That’s fine. You can now. That’s the whole point.’
‘Well,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘I’d really like to try bubble and squeak.’ There was a moment’s silence while we considered this.
‘Show us on the list.’ Linda said. ‘I don’t remember that option.’
Turns out she meant package Number 6: Slap and Tickle. There were appreciative murmurs all around. ‘I’m going to be the one slapping and tickling,’ she said. ‘Probably more.’
‘Well you’re the birthday girl,’ I said. ‘Your wish is their command.’
Marcie’s eyes were bright. ‘I’ve always wanted to wear boots. The ones that come up high with a heel…’
‘Like the ones we saw in Kinky Boots?’ Linda asked.
‘Yes! With tights and a corset. Maybe even a mask…’
‘Excellent choices,’ I said. ‘Anything else? A riding crop perhaps?’
‘Do you think I could have a pet while I’m there?’
‘You mean a dog or a cat….?’
‘No…but he would need a collar…and a lead…’
‘Go for it.’ Linda said. ‘You only live once!’ And we all cackled like hens.
‘50 is going to be so much fun!’ Marcie said, clapping her hands in glee. ‘It’s a whole new start! I can’t wait!
‘We have some presents for you,’ I said, ‘which might help you get through the wait. There was a rustling of wrapping paper.
‘Oh! A holster! With so many pockets….’
‘For all your new toys!’ We spent the rest of the afternoon sipping Prosecco, giggling about men and sex, and admiring Marcie’s gifts.
There were dildos, butt plugs, love balls, vibrators, tubes of lube, nipple clamps and much more–all the necessary goodies a woman needs to pass the time in a most pleasurable way.
We’re all packed and ready to go now. Roger’s taken us to the airport. In his best Mary Berry voice he’s told us to get our lady fingers good and soggy and says we must tell him all about our adventures on our return. ‘He’s such a star, your Roger,’ Linda tells me. ‘We should really give him a little something on our return.’
‘With enough Viagra I think he’d like that,’ I said winking. ‘He’d like that a lot!’