My partner wants me to be louder and more vocal in the bedroom. I think this is a bit embarrassing - I don't want anyone to hear! I feel a bit shy about it, but I'm willing to give it a go. But - where do I start?
It's great to hear from you! This isn't as uncommon as you might think - so many people get turned on by hearing their partner enjoying themselves, but many others feel too shy to express their pleasure vocally.
Advice on why you should try being vocal during sex:
Like sight, sound is a sense that can instantly stir the sexual imagination. Just like watching some hot action, listening to the sounds of pleasure, whether your own, your lover’s (or a blend of the two) will always get the juices flowing.
But while the visual can be enjoyed quietly behind a locked door, being vocal can feel intimidating. (What if the neighbours hear?) The aim is to tune into being vocal during sex, so it’s no good trying to mask your moaning with a thumping stereo!
Soundproof the windows. Say "to hell with eavesdroppers". Get a hotel room. Do whatever's necessary for you to feel free to be as vocal as you possibly can and enjoy the liberation of letting rip!
The sounds of arousal naturally mirrors physical pleasure which means that the more you feel, the more vocal you'll feel! A fabulous circle of pleasure! So, even if you are shy, try to really express yourself if your body is in heaven. If you're with a lover, they'll take vocal sex as compliment! Being vocal during sex means being sure to breathe (as well as pant, moan, scream etc), as a common cause of elusive orgasms for some women is simply an unconscious holding of breath which stops the body from letting go.
Why not make your very own spicy soundtrack by recording your next sex session - but if you’re with your partner, be sure to ask their permission first. Even if you consciously feel a little shy listening to yourself being vocal during sex, your sexual imagination certainly won't be and so your very own version of Horny Hits Vol 1 is likely to get you going all over again!
Your voice doesn't need to be in full pelt to steam up the windows - Try this - start with seductively blindfolding your lover and then sidle up really close and murmur your deepest, darkest fantasy into their ear. Whispering sounds naturally sexy as your voice is lower and breathy, and it’s amazing how liberating and un-inhibiting not being watched can be when trying to be vocal during sex!