Q&A: Different Orgasms?

Dear Sh!

I have different orgasms with my husband and vibrator!

I normally “orgasm” when having sex with my hubby, I have what I’ve recently found out is known as “female ejaculation“.

Now I have recently purchased my first vibrator – a rabbit – WOW why didn’t I buy one before now (age 31!)?

Well, when using my vibrator I experience the most amazing orgasms, completely different from those that I have with hubby.

These orgasms are extremely powerful, send me to a completely different planet of extreme pleasure, then render me helpless and sleepy – WONDERFUL!

Can you explain why I experience different “orgasms” or perhaps I’ve never had a proper one until the arrival of my rabbit vibe?


Hi there,

The answer is simple: different stimulation = different orgasms.

Unless we have exactly the same sex with the same partner and expect the same outcomes, orgasms are as different as we are.

We can have intense orgasms, wet orgasms (and you’re lucky enough to have those), quick orgasms, long, hard orgasms…all different!

It sounds like you experience a clitoral orgasm with your rabbit vibrator and a G-Spot orgasm with your husband.

Sh! jessica side
Sh! Jessica Rabbit Vibrator £40

The Rabbit Vibe does do things that the male member can’t: it vibrates, it rotates, it has beads to stimulate all around the labia and to flex PC muscles against and above all it stimulates your clitoris at the same time.

Isn’t it perfectly feasible that this vibrator does different things to your body that a non-twisting, non-vibrating piece of flesh (however lovely and loving it is) can’t do?

It’s not a matter of “proper” orgasm and “not a proper” orgasm – it’s just a different orgasm.

The other issue is that solo, with a vibrator, you are concentrating purely on your own pleasure.

Sex with a partner is a two way thing. Self love is single-minded.

As women we taught it’s more ‘feminine’ to be ‘selfless’ rather than ‘selfish’ and to put other people’s pleasure before our own.

No bad thing in that, but, coupled with the complexity of our sexual responses, it can mean we don’t orgasm as freely as the fellas (1 in 3 of us can find orgasms tricky or illusive with a partner).

No matter how much you love your hubby and are comfortable being open with him, there may be a sense that you can’t completely let go.

This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your relationship – it’s just human nature. On our own we can be completely self-involved and focused on our own pleasure.

A good way to have the same kind of orgasm with your husband is to play with your rabbit with him – let him see and share in your amazing  orgasms!

Introduce your vibrator to your husband, hand him the controls and let him see what happens to your body…

If you can achieve the same orgasm in front of him, it will show that other orgasms are possible.

We Vibe 3
We Vibe 3 £99

Next step, perhaps,  is to see if you can achieve similarly intense orgasms when you both have sex together.

For this you could use just the bunny’s ears on your clitoris, a small bullet vibrator or even try out a special vibrator designed to use during sex.

We hope you have fun exploring!

Team Sh!




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