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No sex on your wedding night?

It’s officially wedding season! ‘Wedding night’ might conjure up images of luxurious hotel rooms and sensuous delights but are people actually having sex on their wedding nights?

According to a recent poll 52% of newlyweds don’t get around to having sex on their wedding nights and our informal research bears that out.

Common reasons seem to be:

  • We were too exhausted
  • LOL we didn’t even get time to eat
  • He was too drunk
  • I was too drunk

Less common reasons were :

  • My corset made me feel ill
  • All our family were camping in the same field
  • I cheated two days before the wedding and it made it kind of weird

Others bravely soldiered through with despite their exhaustion, showing a commitment to tradition that is admirable if not imitable.

So if you do actually want to get some action on your wedding night, what should you do?

1. Keep It Low Key

The most successful sex havers in our informal polling were those who were either on a second wedding, eloped or kept things deliberately low key. Do you want to sacrifice a fancy wedding for the sake of an amazing wedding night? It’s up to you! But the more people and effort involved in your special day they more likely you are to be exhausted by the end of it.

2. Remember to Eat and Drink

‘We were so busy trying to greet everyone and be everywhere that we didn’t even have time to eat.’ seems to be a surprisingly common refrain. Even if you have given up on an acrobatic night of carnal delights please remember to eat and drink, line up a friend to deliver you snacks on the go, order way too many canapes and shove all of them in your face whilst you meet and greet. You need to keep up your energy levels.

3. But Not Too Much

Ok, it’s you’re wedding. You probably want to drink and have a good time. You probably don’t want to drink so much that you trip over your stupid shoes and then vomit on your fancy wedding clothes. Your grandmother is here. Drinking like there’s no tomorrow is what Hen/Stag nights are for, so if you’re looking to have consummation sex keep a handle on the alcohol.

4. Don’t Get Over Ambitious

Slow, lazy fucks seem to be the order of the day. Save the bedroom acrobatics for your honeymoon.

5. Take Some Time Out

No matter what you do it’s going to be a tiring day, try and fit in some couple time with your partner. Arrive at the reception late and take a break for a couple of hours, or leave early. You don’t actually have to be present for every setting unless you actually want to.

And if it still seems like too much effort then you literally have the rest of your lives to have sex! Have a great day!

 

P.S. Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram and enter this month’s competition!

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