We were shown a wonderful snippet of history the other day – an extract from a Sex Education textbook dating from the 1960’s. Fifty years on, much has changed – and a good thing too! So we’ve given the text a little makeover and zhooshed it up for the modern woman. And – as modern women aren’t necessarily married to men: be you a sassy single-by-choice, polyamorist, lesbian woman or undecided – we’ll ben using the words like “partner” or “lover” instead.
‘When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself as promptly as possible. While feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to for his train.
We say, tell your lover it’ll be worth the wait and let them queue! Give yourself time to pamper and prepare. A nice relaxing bath and some time to yourself are a great way to get ready for bed. (You can always give your other half something exciting to read while they wait).
But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious.
There’s nothing wrong with being a little obvious! Try slipping into something sexy and surprising your partner – a slinky outfit can put you both in the mood. If you’re feeling relaxed and sexy, they’ll pick up on it…
If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers, wait until your husband is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
Face cream and hair-rollers? There are some sexier products we think are fantastic: Betty Beauty is a safe, sexy dye for the hair down there. Your partner may be shocked – but only in a good way! (And anyway, metro-sexuality is in so if you have a male partner you could offer to share your face cream with him!)
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him.
We recommend obedience only if you enjoy BDSM and power-play! Being an obedient submissive can be great fun if that’s your style – or maybe your lover enjoys being an obedient slave for you? Either way, collars, cuffs, paddles and other sexy accessories are highly recommended to spice up your scenes.
If he feels the need to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband’s wishes; do not pressure him in any way to suggest intimacy.
Hey, it’s the 21st century – women taking the lead is not only OK, it’s very hot! But if he’s not in the mood, reach for the trusty powerful rabbit vibe or a cute bullet vibrator for a satisfying quickie – or a long slow session if you want!
Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
You don’t have to scream the ceiling down (though you can if you want to, obviously!) but sex is all about both of you having fun! There are some really good products that allow you both to get an extra thrill from sex. Vibrating finger and tongue toys can spice up foreplay, and vibrating cock rings, as well as great new toys like the We-Vibe, can enhance sex by giving you lots more clit stimulation, as well as giving you both a thrill!
Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent.
The unusual practices in the 60s are the sexy adventures of today! Maybe you fancy trying out anal sex – we’d highly recommend Tristan Taormino’s book ‘The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women, a bottle of long-lasting lube and lots of practice! Or maybe he’s interested in receiving some action – well, strap on harnesses and dildos are not just lesbian sex toys these days – they’re very much on trend for straight couples too. Our brand-new Strap-On Dildo Kits are a great place to start, as they come with everything you could need to experiment with strapping it on.
It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep.
Sorry – we don’t think this has changed much in the last 50 years.
You may then set your alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
We’d suggest a couple of other ways of handling this. Either agree to take turns to get the tea – or you could come along to one of our erotic classes and learn some sexy tricks from the experts. We hope your partner will be so impressed they’ll offer to make your tea in the morning!