Placeholder
Bondage Safety Advice - Sh! Women's Store

Bondage Safety Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Skip to content

FEMALE-FOUNDED LGBT+ INCLUSIVE🌈

Main Navigation

Bondage Safety Advice

Bondage Safety Advice - Sh! Women's Store

When you think about it, many sexual activities involve some sort of exchange of trust and power, with one partner giving and the other receiving. Erotic massage, handjobs, oral sex - more often than not, one person is dishing out intense pleasure whilst another is laid back, enjoying every toe-curling, eye-rolling second of it.

Bondage is the beautiful and highly sensual art of restraining a partner for pleasure; a way of intensifying and ritualising power dynamic by tying-up your lover and controlling the pace of their pleasure.

I fantasise about bondage - does that mean I'm kinky?

Bondage comes under the umbrella of BDSM/kink but many folx enjoy bondage without identifying as kinky - and many kinky folx enjoy BDSM without ever incorporating bondage into their play. You can pick and choose which activities tickle your pickle, and you can identify in any which way that feels right for you. The main concern should always be consent and safety, and we're going to be addressing the latter in this article.

If you're the one doing the tying-up (the Top), you get to be in charge of your partner's pleasure and to feast on the hot vision of them splayed out in front of you...

If you're the one being cuffed or tied up (the bottom),  you get to surrender to one-way attention. In bondage, you are totally free to enjoy your own pleasure without any pressure to 'bat back’.

via GIPHY

Advice for playing safely with bondage

Establish boundaries before play starts. Not just the physical boundaries, but also emotional ones. This will ensure you never venture into grey areas and everything that happens during our play session is consensual.

Establish & honour absolutely safe words that instantly halt the game, or ease up on the action should it become a bit too intense for either one of you. Agree on one or two words that let you both know that you need a break, or you need the game to stop.

Study! There are some great guides about bondage that offer advice and inspiration. The net is also a great resource for bondage information and safety.

Bondage advice for the person doing the tying up

Always be alert to, and immediately honour your partner's use of safewords whether in physical or emotional scenes. Many couples choose to use two words; one for, 'lighten-up, I'm finding this a bit difficult to take' and a different word that means 'Stop Now'.

Having trusted safewords established means that, as the Top, you are free to throw yourself into a scene, tease mercilessly and get ‘em moaning, groaning and begging for more.

Always use wide, strong bondage cuffs

Silk scarves may seem less scary or serious than leather wrist cuffs but actually, they can sneakily tighten to pinching point and in a worst-case scenario, cause permanent nerve damage. Your lover’s bliss is entirely in your hands, but remember to keep them safe!

Check your bottom's (the person relinquishing power) fingers regularly for signs that blood hasn't stopped flowing to the area (signified by numbness, coolness or blueness). If extremities turn this way untie immediately and rub the area gently until restored. As the bottom, it's your responsibility to immediately alert your Top to any pins & needle-sensations, and you can do this by using your safe word.

Wrist-Cuffs

Physical safety in bondage play

  • Never enclose both nose and mouth. 
  • Never tie-up your lover face down on soft furnishing.
  • Never leave your lover tied-up in bondage alone.
  • If you gag your partner, they can't clearly use their safe-words so find an alternative means of communication; a marble to drop that says 'stop' for instance.

Bondage advice for the person being tied up

  • Only allow yourself to be tied up by someone you know well and trust completely.
  • Never allow yourself to be talked into something you don't want to do. You have an absolute right to say no to anything that doesn't feel right for you. If your partner won't take no for an answer, don't play with them.
  • Never think that using your safe-words makes you a wuss - they are there to give you freedom, so feel free to throw yourself into an Oscar-worthy performance, secure in the knowledge that you can halt play instantly if you need, want or wish to.
  • Being helpless, you're free to relax and relish every sensation. In these decision-overloaded times, you don’t have to think - just feel... Let performance anxieties take a back seat and revel in sensations instead.

Read our BDSM guides here!

 

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

Best Selling Bondage

The BDSM gear our customers love...

Need any BDSM bondage advice?

More Bondage Advice

Warm Drip Wax Play: Make Me Melt Candles - Sh! Women's Store
Warm Wax Candle Play: Make Me Melt Candles

Warm wax candle play is hugely popular with kinky folks who love the...

BDSM Bondage Collars for Sex Play - Sh! Women's Store
Handmade BDSM Bondage Collars for Sex Play

Collars can be worn for different reasons. Maybe it’s a fashion statement, just for fun...

Bondage Safety Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Bondage Safety Advice

When you think about it, many sexual activities involve some sort of exchange of trust...

Best Bondage Restraints - Sh! Women's Store
Best Bondage Restraints

Whether you're a newbie toying with a little playful restraint or a bondage expert who regularly swings from...

Fun Ways To Play With Handcuffs - Sh! Women's Store
Fun Ways To Play With Handcuffs

If you and bae love being dominated and restricted during sex, you should definitely invest...

How To Encourage Your Partner To Be More Dominant In The Bedroom - Sh! Women's Store
How To Encourage Your Partner To Be More Dominant In The Bedroom

When it comes to sex fantasies, being dominated in the bedroom is probably one of the...

How to introduce bondage into your bedroom - Sh! Women's Store
How to introduce bondage into your bedroom

Bondage and kink can sound pretty daunting, especially if you’re not one to throw caution...

How to Play Safely with BDSM - Sh! Women's Store
How to Play Safely with BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for a long list of delicious activities:   Bondage, Domination, Sadomasochism and Masochism. BDSM...

7 Common Misconceptions About BDSM - Sh! Women's Store
7 Common Misconceptions About BDSM

Many folks enjoy what is commonly known as 'kink' (like spanking) without considering themselves to...

Q&A: My Girlfriend Is Into BDSM But I'm Not - Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: My Girlfriend Is Into BDSM But I'm Not

I recently found out that my girlfriend has been looking at BDSM porn....

Feeling Safe When Exploring Bondage Play - Sh! Women's Store
Feeling Safe When Exploring Bondage Play

Before we start, we'd like to highlight that this article is for survivors of sexual...

5 Positions For Bondage - Sh! Women's Store
5 Positions For Bondage

Like with all sex play, imagination is the only limit for pleasure. If you can...