advice bondage

Bondage Safety Advice

Bondage can be hot stuff!

If you’re the one tied up,  you get to surrender to one-way attention. In bondage, you are totally free to enjoy your own pleasure without any pressure to ‘bat back’.

Or if you are the one doing the tying-up, you get to be totally in charge of your lover’s pleasure and to feast on the vision of them splayed out in front of you…

It can be hot stuff indeed.

When you think about it many erotic activities; massage; oral sex; hand-jobs – involve some sort of exchange of trust and power, with one partner performing and the other receiving.

Bondage is simply intensifying and ritualising this power dynamic by tying-up your lover and controlling the pace of their pleasure.

It can be sweet surrender all round.

Advice for Playing Safely with Bondage

•  Establish boundaries  before you start. Not just the physical boundaries, but also emotional ones.

• Establish & honour ‘safe words’ that instantly halt the game or ease up on the action should it become too intense.

• Study. There are some great guides about bondage  that will advice and inspire you. The net is also a great resource for bondage information and safety.

Bondage advice for the person doing the tying up…

Always be alert to, and immediately honor, your partner’s use of ‘safe words’ whether in physical or emotional scenes.

Many couples employ two words; one for, ‘lighten-up I’m finding this a bit difficult to take’ and one that means, ‘Stop Now’.

Having trusted safe-words established, means that, as the ‘Top’, you are free to throw yourself into a scene, tease mercilessly and get ‘em moaning, groaning and begging for more…
Always use wide, strong bondage cuffs.

Silk scarves may seem less scary or serious than leather wrist cuffs but actually, they can sneakily tighten to pinching point and even cause permanent nerve damage.
Your lover’s bliss is entirely in your your hands, but remember to keep them safe!

Check their fingers regularly for signs that blood hasn’t stopped flowing to the area (signified by numbness, coolness or blueness). If extremities turn this way untie immediately and rub the area until restored.

Physical Safety in Bondage Play

Never enclose both nose and mouth. 

  • If you gag your partner, they can’t clearly use their safe-words so find an alternative means of communication; a marble to drop that says ‘stop’ for instance.

• Never tie-up your lover face down on soft furnishing.
• Never leave your lover tied-up in bondage alone.

Bondage advice for the person being tied up

• Only allow yourself to be tied up by someone you know well and TRUST COMPLETELY.

•Never allow yourself to be talked into something you don’t want to do.

• Never think that using your safe-words makes you a wuss – they are there to give you FREEDOM, so feel free to throw yourself into an Oscar-worthy performance, secure in the knowledge that you can halt play instantly if you need/want/wish to
• Being helpless, you’re free to relax and relish every sensation. In these decision-overloaded times, you don’t have to think – just feel…so let performance anxieties take a back seat.

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