Can yoga really improve your shagging prowess?

Can yoga really improve your shagging prowess?

Yoga is a great way to tone your abs and increase agility. It’s also an ancient spiritual practice, similar to Buddhism, that has been developed and nurtured for over 5,000 years. Roughly translating as “union”, yoga encourages the merging of breath, mind and body. It revolves around the conscious decision of a person to “stay in the moment”. No doubt there are endless benefits of doing so, especially in the age of social media and mobile phones, but today we are concentrating on what yogic practises can do for your sex life.

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Breathe into it

Our team at Sh! love LOVE talking about orgasms. It’s a conversation that is seemingly endless – with so many versions, experiences and preferences to explore. But, what unifies these all together into the actual experience of an orgasm is someone’s ability to fully let themself go. Without being able to do so, an orgasm just isn’t going to happen, love. Multiple factors can contribute to this – the room you’re in, the scent of it, if anyone else is in, if you’re stressed, if you’re tired, if you’re too hot, if you’re too cold…the list goes on.

You need to be able to find a way to unify your mind and body to stay in the present…sound familiar yet? One of the best ways to clear your mind and bring your focus inward is to start with your breath. Pranayama (or essentially breathing exercises) is a big thing in yoga and proves that the majority of people actually breathe inefficiently in their day-to-day lives (though this is a whole other kettle of fish).

To see the difference yourself, close and soften your eyes when laid down or in a comfortable seated position. Ensure your spine is elongated – so if you’re laid down lift your head bringing your chin towards your neck and lower the back of your head back to the floor. If sat, lift up from your sit bones and work those lovely back muscles, shoulders back and chin parallel to the floor. By doing this, you create a clear path for the breath to travel through your body. Now, keeping those eyes gently shut, begin to take note of your breath. Is it shallow? Short? Long? Through your nose or mouth?

When you’re ready, start to deepen your breath on a long inhale through your nose. On your exhale, open your mouth and let out a big sigh (this feels amazing, trust). Do this as many times as you would like before closing your mouth and breathing solely through your nose.

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On your inhale, imagine your breath starting from your pelvic floor and filling up your stomach until it reaches your lower ribs, up to your chest, up to your neck- until you exhale and watch it leave your body from your neck, chest, ribs until it empties out your stomach. Ensure your inhales are as long as your exhales by counting or watching the breath move through the body. As you continue this, there are various methods you can take to focus this breath or energy you feel yourself building toward your orgasmic potentials.

One instance, is to start to bring your attention to your southerly hot spot. Feel the breath originate from there and build a heat. Imagine this heat (you could also envisage a light) rising up through your body as you inhale and releasing on your exhale. Continue to do this whilst focusing on various parts of your vulva/vagina/penis/whatever and you should feel your hand slowly wandering down…which brings us on to our next point.

Meditation

A common belief is that yoga has eight different limbs. Three of these focuses around the act of meditation. It works by shutting off your senses to bring your concentration inside. Yoga and Aryuvedic medicine believe that your body is overflowing with chakras (aka energy centres). There are seven main ones within your body, which happen to be inline with your central nervous system. Your sacral chakra (Svadhistana) is located at your lower abdomen, is assigned the colour orange and governs your sexuality, creativity and self-esteem.

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An unbalanced, blocked or “off” sacral chakra is traditionally believed to manifest as issues with sexual performance such as erectile dysfunction or bladder infections like UTI’s. There are many ways to unblock chakras such as crystal healing, conscious breathing or reiki. One (free) way to do so is via regular meditative practice – similar to the breathing exercise we have outlined above. Decide what time of the day is most convenient for you to practice meditation and do it everyday in the same spot. Just like an orgasm, the context of which you do this is so important. It needs to be regulated to train your mind to shut out all of the distractions. In yoga or aryuvedic practises, they call the interior versions of these your “monkey mind” – i.e. the voice in your head deciding what to have for dinner, whether you are going to walk or get the bus later or if you need to call your mum etc. By regularly practising meditation you learn to ignore this voice, to let these busy thoughts simply pass you by, which is super helpful for when you want to get down and dirty.

You can also stimulate and balance these energy points through various physical exercises, known in yoga as asana.

Lock and load

To achieve the correct posture in asana there are certain “locks” you imagine engaging on your body. We are focusing on the foundation of these, which just so happens to strengthen your pelvic floor. The root lock (mula bandha) involves a kind of “tighten and lift” motion that starts at your genitals and perineum and lifts up to reach your stomach. In other words, re-enact the sensation of holding a wee in. It’s a movement you can do at literally anytime, anywhere. You can do it in a meeting with your boss, at tea with your granny or sat on the bus. No one will know. Plus, a strong pelvic floor is key to unlocking the secret of a great orgasm. It grants you, better control of your earth-shattering orgasms, a stronger sensation and takes care of any pesky leakage. Cue you inner sexual goddess on the prowl.

Asana

To take this a step further, one posture in asana designed to specifically target your pelvic floor is known as bridge pose.

Bridge Yoga Pose

Start lying down on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor a hips-width apart and arms by your sides with palms on the floor (or pressing them together with fingers interlaced). Inhale and lift your pelvis into the air. Imagine there is a rope tied around it and someone is pulling it up in the air like a puppet. Imagine your calves are pulling back towards you whilst your thighs are pushing them further away. Meanwhile, try to hold the bend of your knees directly above your ankles (rather than leaning into each other, which believe me, they will try to). Hold for 5 long breaths and on your last exhale, lower your pelvis back down to the floor.

Bridge pose is also known as an inversion, meaning you’re raising your heart higher than your head. This reverses blood flow and aids circulation throughout your body whilst calming your nervous system. This particular posture is also a back bend, aka a heart opener. Through contracting your back muscles and opening your chest, you work to unblock you heart chakra theoretically opening you up to more receptivity of love and intimacy. Inversions and heart openers are paramount to a balanced practice, i.e. one that stimulates all the chakras in your body and forges a stronger connection between mind and body.

If you are new to yoga or you are experiencing some type of injury, go to your local beginner’s yoga class or speak to a certified teacher before attempting these postures to avoid injury.

Another type of asana posture directly linked to your sacral chakra are hip openers. It is believed that you store a lot of emotion and tenseness in your hips –so after the stimulation of this region of your body, you can be left feeling over-emotional. This is again why your practice must be balanced with the more positive-feeling heart openers and twists (though we will get to these).

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Prasarita padattonasana is a great hip opener to practice. Stand on your mat in a wide stance with feet facing inwards (so they are parallel to the edges of your mat). Allow a slight bend in your knees or pull them up and straighten your legs. Place your hands on your hips, turn on your mula bandha and elongate the spine from the crown of your head. Inhale and straighten up, then exhale and bend forward from your hips (it’s a nice idea to place your thumbs at your hip crease to feel yourself hinge forward from here). Ensure your chest stays open as you bend forward by leading with your heart rather than your chin. Stay here for 5 long breaths and on your next inhale, return to a standing position.

This posture works like an inversion regarding the encouragement of bloodflow whilst stimulating your sacral chakra and your root chakra (found at your genitals – encourages the grounding/soothing of your mind). I.e. not only are you increasing your strength and flexibility for when you get jiggy, but you’re also prepping your mind to free itself of any outside worries to totally let go.

If you have any lower back issues or pain please do not bend forward in this position.

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Twists are brilliant for strengthening your lower abdomen (oh hello sacral chakra). For a more relaxing, passive version, sit in a comfortable cross-legged position. You can put cushions under your knees for extra support if you like or sit on one to elevate your hips at an equal height to your knees. As always, tighten your root lock/mula bandha and inhale to lengthen your spine and open up your breathing passages from the crown of your head. Upon your exhale, place the left hand on your right knee and circle your right arm out towards to right placing it on the floor. As you do this open your chest out to the right, twisting your spine and leading with your chest. This twist happens only from the lower ribs and upwards. I.e., your hips and everything below your lower ribs stay put. You are a Russian doll.

Keep your head in line with your top torso rather than reaching your eyes further around (this will cause your head to turn further and strain your neck). Close your eyes softly if you wish and stay for 5 long breaths. To exit the pose, inhale and twist back to the center. Then to decompress your spine (extremely important after more active twists), turn to your left and gently fold forward for a couple of breaths before returning to center. Repeat on the other side.

Some of the major benefits of twists are that they detoxify your system upon the release of your twist (when a rush of fresh blood floods your digestive organs after being cut off during the twist). They keep your spine mobile and calm the mind, which when practiced regularly with the poses we’ve previously mentioned, will have you in the best mental and physical position to start getting things saucy.

Please do not practice a twist like this if you have any slipped discs or lower back problems. Instead, speak to your local certified yoga to find an alternative.

 

Sharing is caring! Your ultimate guide to group sex

Sharing is caring! Your ultimate guide to group sex

Group sex is a fantasy for many, but you’d be surprised at the number of people from all walks of life who enjoy playing out their biggest desires and participating in safe and satisfying encounters with two or more people.

From thrilling threesomes to organised group sex events, there are so many opportunities to explore your desires in the company of other like-minded people. But before you whip off those French knickers and arm yourself with your fave vibrator and plenty of lube, there are a few golden rules when it comes to sharing sexual experiences with others.

Safety first!

Before you get those juices flowing, the most important aspect of any group sex soiree is definitely safety. Any group sex aficionado will tell you that safe and hygienic group fun starts with the right products, so make sure that you have the right kit before you get your kit off!

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Condoms are a must, so if you’re planning your own get together, then it’s up to you to be a good host and provide a good stash of them in easy reach.

Likewise, a few anti-bacterial wipes for giving those favourite toys a proper cleansing before and after your event are essential, so make sure that they are specially created for this purpose to protect your vibrators, love beads and strap-ons from germs. You’ll also need to ensure that they’re kind to your intimate parts too because it’s not going to much fun if your guests are too sore and itchy to join in!

Our favourite tot cleaner? Why, thank yuo for asking! We love the Sh! antibacterial and detergent free sex toy spray – a quck & easy way to keeps toys clean and ready for next go-round!

Do your research

If you know what you want but are currently unsure of how to find it, then doing research is paramount to ensuring you have a fun, positive and safe experience.

Most parties are organised when a group of friends (or friends of friends) with similar preferences come together. Sometimes, a host rents a large-scale venue and invites all those who are in the know. This means that if you find yourself on the edge without any connection to actually realising your fantasy, it can be tricky to find a legitimate event to attend with like-minded people. Fetlife, for instance, is a great resource for any kinksters wanting to unleash their inner dommes and subs.

If you’re looking to attend a group sex event organised by someone else, you’ll need to be 100% clear on what you can expect. There are so many get-togethers that cater for different tastes, so if you’re a newbie to the wonderful world of group sex, then it’s best to see if there are any ‘themes’ such as partner swapping, pegging or anything else that might pique your interest.

Many groups have also general do’s and don’t’s that their members must adhere to. This could involve rules about mobile phones, dress codes or who can/cannot attend specific events. Again, it’s important to be aware of all this beforehand to avoid any awkwardness upon arrival.

If you feel it’s not for you, politely decline and find something else.

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Play nicely

You can’t just expect to turn up at a group sex event as many of them are by invitation only, or they at least want to get to know you a bit better before getting down to business. You might be asked to join them for a coffee (but remain fully clothed! This is a brew and a chat, not an orgy at this stage!) or have a chance to meet and greet a few other group members before the fun starts, so use this as your opportunity to discover a little more about them, their preferences and see if they’d be happy to enjoy some experiences with you later.

Remember that no matter how “loose” or beyond your usual realities a party gets, it is all about respect.

 

 

 

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Whip up a frenzy in the bedroom this January

Lovers of the creamy dairy product rejoice! Whipped Cream Day is arriving on the 5th of January this year, but there’s so much more you could be doing with this deliciously sweet treat than squirting it on to your leftover mince pies!

Ignore the advice never to play with your food; we’re really looking forward to getting sweet and sticky, and encouraging couples everywhere to get inventive with whipped cream to celebrate the day and embrace a little sexy food play.

But whenever you decide to bring food items into the bedroom for a midnight fleshy feast, there are a few do’s and don’ts that you’ll need to be aware of to make the experience one to remember for all of the right reasons.

Get down and dirty

Food play is fabulous fun, but it’s also pretty messy so expect to get yourselves and your bedsheets positively caked with whatever foodstuff you’re bringing into the bedroom. If you’re particular about your bed linen, then change the sheets to something you don’t mind getting messed up and make sure that you’ve got plenty of washing powder on hand to clean up the aftermath of fluids and food!

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Test your treats

If you’ve got sensitive skin, then it’s best to avoid sugary treats for your sensitive areas as they could cause itching and an unsightly rash once the throws of passion are over.

Vulva’s can be particularly sensitive to synthetic sugar alternatives, so keep it natural when it comes to your foodie sex play to avoid any discomfort later on.

Shoulders, nipples, and stomach are all erotic areas sensitive to touch, so try drizzling a bit of honey over the top half of your body and challenge your partner to lick you clean before being allowed lower down…

Food hygiene

You wouldn’t insert any kind of toy before giving it a good clean, so don’t do it with food either! Be 100% sure that your delicious foray into food sex doesn’t have any complications a few hours later and give anything that you’ll be using a good wash before bringing it into the bedroom.

We once had a customer mention that her juicy peach turned orange after intimately enjoying a carrot. To avoid this, we recommend slipping a condom over any fresh produce to be used, and you could make it even more fun by choosing ribbed or dotted prophylactics!

Hungry for more?

HandipopOnce you’ve tried your tastebuds on a few foodstuffs, feel free to experiment with other food sex play staples such as jelly and custard for some hot and cold sexy sensations, our Shiatsu body painting chocolate,  delicious Handipop edible hand job massage gel or even try a combination of all three for a buttock dessert buffet for some moreish moments.

Many of our customers have expressed an interest in trying out the grapefruit technique during fellatio, but please, please, please remember to pop a condom on the very sensitive penis before heading downtown for some fruity fun – acidic fruit juice down the urethra is few penis-owners’ idea of fun!

Dairy-free food for tasty sex play

Don’t let dairy intolerance get in the way of celebrations; these days you can get lactose-free products in most supermarkets and actually, they’re very tasty. Our favourite is Arla lacto-free products, a whole range of non-lactose foods to enjoy in or out of the bedroom.

The only limit is your imagination and what you’ve got in your fridge, so don’t be afraid to mix things up a little and take food out of the dining room and into the boudoir.

Happy Whipped Cream Day!

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Winter may finally be coming but that doesn’t mean you can’t be too

We’re already in November and seeing the days get colder and darker, many of us are experiencing lower intakes of vitamin D. This lack of sunlight causes lower levels of serotonin in our brain and increases our production of melatonin – meaning we are more depressed and more tired. Is it any wonder that our libido can do a disappearing trick around this time of the year?

Stop. Right. There.

What is the one thing we learned in P.E. or from the daily preaches by annoyingly smiley, toned and shiny Instagram influencers? Exercise releases endorphins and these make us happy. This can mean a game of netball in a blizzard or a hazardous jog on an icy morning… or, you can try having an orgasm. Whether through masturbation or sex with a partner (multiple if you’re lucky), this is an exercise designed to get you feeling the freshest. Not only will you have your trusty endorphins but you can also enjoy that calm, fuzzy and above all, warm, feeling of oxytocin. In other words, Storm Brian may have just hit us but that isn’t half as hard as your orgasm is about to if you follow any of these tips.

Get Cosy

It goes without saying but if you’re going to take your pants off you need to be warm and what’s more inviting than a hot bath? Maybe you’re exhausted after work but this is a great way to practise self-love. Light some candles, grab an erotic novel and go heavy on the Badedas bubble bath (not too heavy if you’re prone to thrush). Luckily for you, we offer a range of waterproof goodies that vibrate, thrust and tickle. Simply keep one tactically within an arms-length reach away and soon enough your clit will be dancing and prancing more than a fictional, festive reindeer. If you have a partner around then why not invite them in? They could watch you in action or take control of your toy. You could even offer them a hot and heavy massage afterward.

Build Up A Sweat

If you’re diving straight into a bed of cold sheets then practice shock tactics. Have a quick slip out of any extra layers and warm each other up whilst your body temperatures fall and rise together. This type of sensory play using heat stimulates blood flow and adrenaline and ultimately, arousal. Soon enough, you will be shivering in all the right ways.

classic_erotica_body_boudoir_pheromoan_massage_candle_forbidden_fruit (1)If you want to take this one step further, then be my guest. Blindfold a consensual partner, building their anticipation, and if they like playing submissive then tie them to the bed. Light a body safe candle and drip onto their skin (ensure you use a specialised sensual candle rather than a shop-bought, non-labeled as the latter can be 50f higher and can cause damage or burns to the skin). The closer your candle is to their body – the hotter the wax will be. Trickle cautiously and tease the wax around their erogenous zones. The sweep of an armpit is a great (and potentially unexpected) one, so you could start here and move down their torso, from their nipples to their pubic bone.

Introduce a body-warming toy

Another ingenious invention comes in the shape of a sex toy that adapts to your body temperature. Whether riding solo or in a team, using a glass or metal dildo can give your southerly regions a good warming up – particularly if you leave your toy in a bowl of not-too-hot water beforehand. Again, directly applying heat to one area of the body like this stimulates blood flow in the area. Plus, glass and metal toys are really pretty. Whether you want one curved, ribbed, straight, or even one with a flower inside it, we have you covered. Just make sure you lube up beforehand to get your G-spot nice and ready for stimulation.

Now, hopefully, you can get your sex drive in check because it’s going to be a long, cold winter without it.

 

 

 

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3 ways to get your partner to push your buttons in exactly the right way

Let’s face it, no one knows your body and what gets your juices flowing quite like you do.

While partners try their very best to push all the right buttons, they sometimes get it wrong. Maybe they lack know-how on your hot-spots, maybe they’re a tad too rough or a little too gentle, maybe they go too fast or maybe it’s not fast enough…

Well, it may be almost 2019 but Siri or Alexa cannot help you now. Your partner needs insider knowledge. Telling someone that they aren’t doing it for you is tricky and it’s likely that feelings will be hurt. Rather than focusing on the negative and telling them what they are getting wrong, try turning into a positive experience for you both instead.

Show & Tell

For once, be the star of your P.E. lesson. Change history. Become your partners’ hottest PT. Open your legs and instruct. Mutual masturbation is the perfect antidote for a kinaesthetic or visual learner (those of you that are targeting an auditory audience – we will get to you in our next section). It’s a great way to show your partner what gets you off whilst encouraging them to demo their personal bests. With no losers, it’s a win-win.

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Instead of turning your favourite exercise into a lecture, you can plan your “how to ruffle your muff” guide interactively. Try playing a game of “show and tell” to express exactly how you want it (or them). This way, they get VIP tickets to their favourite show, free of charge, whilst you get to watch them fangirl in adoration for you. Destined to be a memorable event for all parties, this will get your point across in a hot, empowering way – and they will literally not be able forget it.

Sexual Servant 

Like a little role-play in the boudoir? Get into character with your favourite props. Handcuffs, blindfolds, paddles, whips, chains, gags, collars, nipple clamps, restraints…the list goes on, but whatever suits. Make another fun game out of it and command your submissive as your new identity of “Mistress” or “Master”. You could always go old school and give them the odd spank whenever they get a response wrong (though this might give you a mutiny wherein they try to avoid any correct answers).

You don’t have to get “hardcore” for a successful stint at dominating. Many people find it to be a huge turn-on, so allow your partner be your sexual servant and relish your chance to be totally in charge. Tell them exactly what you want them to do, how you want it done and keep the verbal feedback going as it will encourage them to keep at it (“it” being whatever you want them to do). God loves a trier and so should you.

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Steamy Suggestions 

Maybe these two prior suggestions are too showy for you. Or maybe you consider yourself to be better with words. Thankfully, you’re living in a flourishing technological environment and you can do your thing remotely.

Is your partner at work? Good. Are they not a surgeon, a dentist or anything that requires a steady hand? Good. Now is the perfect time to get their phone vibrating and start sending a few saucy and suggestive texts. Start off gently and scope it out. Maybe, it’s just a message or two about feeling frisky and wishing they were there. If they don’t reply, they’re probably in a meeting and hopefully not a disciplinary (even if the latter option is the case, their day is about to get a lot better). We hate to state the obvious but please be sure you’re texting the right person. If your phone is dodgy, this is the perfect excuse to get an upgrade. Once you’re sorted, send the text and wait a short while for them to respond and amp it up.

Begin explicit instructions of what you image your partner doing to you. The more specific you are, then the easier it will be for them to get it right later on. Give it a short while, then ramp up the language and include a few of the things you want them to do to you. The more specific you are, the wilder their imagination will run and so the easier it will be for them to get it right later on. Something like “I’d really like you to nibble the inside of my thighs before slowly working your way closer to my wet lips” is both to the point and instructional, and will ensure they limber up their lips on the way home…

An intrepid member of our team likes to surprise partners by leaving a pair of her small, silky kickers in their coat pocket for them to find on their way to work. This works wonders in that they’ll be thinking of her all day and be primed for action when they walk through the door in the evening!

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How to dirty talk when the only thing hotter than your cheeks is your kettle

Want to talk dirty but feel your mind go blank every time it comes down to it?

This particular skill doesn’t come naturally to all of us – especially those who aren’t reading off a script during a porno. Many people can feel a little shy or embarrassed when communicating their sexual desires to their partner in the moment – but it doesn’t need to be this way. Just because its name may insinuate something untoward, talking dirty isn’t anything to get squeamish over. It’s fun, hot and you definitely don’t need to be able to answer a round of the University Challenges’ questions to do it (meaning anyone can do it).

If, however, the thought of it does make you blush then don’t worry.  Talking dirty is like anything, a few wobbly attempts and you will soon be spouting sex-talk magic like the Rokeby Venus you know you are.

In the meantime, here are some of our tried and tested dirty talking tips for beginners to get the ball rolling.

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Reduce the Pressure

In the same way that it would be daunting to burst into an acapella song in front of a choir – when you are not necessarily a singer by trade – it’s really difficult to start talking dirty on command. This being true no matter if you have an audience of one, two, three or more.

In such an intimate situation you don’t need to add any extra pressure onto yourself by jumping off into the deep-end. If this is a new experience for you, then, why not start with the lights off so you don’t feel exposed or on show? You could be the Sia of your sex show and no one has to see your face. This is also a good time to mention that writing prompts on your wrist is not really an option in discussing the dirty…you don’t need to force anything.

Instead, start small. Talking like a porn star on your first attempt feels and sounds weird. Try not to alienate yourself. Why not begin with a few shorter phrases that you are comfortable with? Perhaps, it’s a compliment on a certain sexy body trait of your partner or maybe you love how they do a certain action? Play around with your language. Experiment with your tone of voice. Look up different, fun ways to say things beforehand. Think about what you like to happen during sex – maybe you like your muffkin ruffled in a certain direction or perhaps you want to tickle their member with your tongue. Direct your partner on how to arouse you and take it bit by bit. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Gradually build on short phrases or keywords that you and your partner find hot so you don’t feel so overwhelmed.

Soon enough, you’ll find that you’ve created a repertoire of vocab so varied and sexy, you’ll be writing a handbook out for your friends.

Play the Part

Not all of us like to dirty talk unless we get to take on a different persona when doing so. For example, it’s often much easier to pretend to be something obscure like a unicorn or a witch when you’re dressed up as one.  Some people opt to roleplay when dirty talking – and why not!

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If you consider yourself to be a bit of a novice at sex talk, introducing a character into your steamy sessions can make things a lot less intimidating. You can be whoever you want to be – a demanding dominatrix, a naïve naughty nurse, a subliminal servant…literally whoever, or whatever, tickles your pickle.

Maybe you have always had a thing for Jessica Rabbit? Or, perhaps, during your favourite fantasy you take on the role of Jamelia who lives around the corner. Be creative and have fun! Let your preferred personality take charge and begin practicing your newfound oral abilities with no stress or reflection on your individual self.

Get a Response

Dirty talk isn’t a burden that you and you alone must bear. Dirty talk is a fun, playful exchange between two or more people, designed to help get you both off. There’s no fun in talking at someone – encourage your partner to get involved in everything verbal that’s going on (if they’re not already). This will make things (again) less pressurized and awkward and more entertaining and intimate.

Lead them up your ladygarden’s path with erotic, probing questions… If they’re nervous too, start with ones that require them to answer with only one-word answers, for instance, “harder” or “faster”, “slower” or “softer”. This will start building their confidence up alongside yours so you will soon no longer feel like you have to fake it until you make it.

Alternatively, maybe your partner is the one who is currently dishing out the dirty demands – whilst you find yourself tongue-tied at every turn. There is no shame in being honest with them about it before your next romp and asking them to simplify their questions for you. This way, you can follow their lead and work your way up to the Queen’s English of verbal erotica.

Finally, whatever happens, make sure you are having fun and enjoying it. Breathe, relax and let your lips do the talking…

 

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Mutual-Masturbation

It’s time to give mutual masturbation a try

During a recent class, a guest put their hand up and asked us if we ‘agree’ with mutual masturbation.

This is an interesting question, for several reasons.

  1. What you and beau do during “private time” is none of our business, but for the record: as long as it’s safe, consensual and hella fun for both of you, we approve!
  2. We’re not sure why the guest asked; maybe they want to try it but their partner feels shy about it, or vice versa. Maybe the guest enjoys masturbation but feels guilty about it. Maybe they have a voyeuristic streak and dreams of watching their partner rub one out, or maybe they’d like the opportunity to show off their own finger-tingling skills…

Whatever the reason for the question, it got us thinking.

Masturbation is often done in private, something we don’t share with others. Many feel guilty about masturbating, especially if they’re in a relationship. Others take it personally if they realise that their partner enjoys a bit of solo play in the shower first thing in the morning…

Masturbation is the best way of getting to know your own body, and how it reacts to certain types of stimulation. Some people masturbate for stress relief, others masturbate themselves to sleep, but it’s fair to say most of us do it because if feels bloomin’ great!

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Mutual masturbation is the term for when you invite another person to the party and you masturbate in front of each other.

The great thing about mutual masturbation is you’re giving your partner some real ‘hands-on’ tips on how to turn you on and showing them what works for you in the bedroom (or kitchen, car, garden shed – pretty much anywhere you fancy!) and they do the same in return.

Nobody knows your own body quite like you do, so these mutual masturbation sessions can help give your partner a fantastic insight into what gets you off and helps elevate your sex life to a whole new level.

Mutual masturbation has many advantages, not least when you feel horny but have no real energy to go all out (happens to all of us!).

Get to Know Your Own Body

Stroking, touching and playing with your own vulva or peen helps teach you more about your own body and what works for you, so you can share these personal tips with your partner.

Many peeps, particularly women, find it near-impossible to orgasm when a partner is touching or licking them. This is often due to a fear of taking too long, or an inability to stay in the moment and enjoy the play for what it is. Owning your own orgasms and taking control of how they happen will ensure you get yours. It’s empowering and liberating to shed layers and layers of societal BS and get right down to it with a fired-up partner panting heavily right next to you! Go Team Orgasm!

Once you’ve shown your partner what you want and the methods of masturbation that really make you weak at the knees, you’ll be amazed at how much better sex will be for the both of you.

Get them to share the same experience with you, and you’ll know exactly which buttons to press to make your partner wild-eyed with excitement.

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Watching a partner bring themselves off is an incredible turn-on for many of us. You’ll get to see exactly how they touch themselves, if they like it gentle or more intense, which parts they pay more attention to, and whether they like to slow down just before coming or whether they like to speed up and go for an explosive finish. You can learn a whole lot by just paying attention to what they do when they’re about to have an orgasm.

Sharing the Sensation

Knowing what really works for your other half can resolve issues with sexual frustration, as you’ll know exactly what to do to make sure that your partner is totally satisfied with the experience.

The ability to share sensations and talking about your preferred masturbation methods without feeling embarrassed really helps your partner tune into your sexuality and gives them an excellent ‘how-to’ guide on what you want out of your liaisons.

Mutual masturbation can also bring you much closer as a couple, so it’s definitely worth a try the next time sex is on the cards.

Once you know what methods are personal favourites, you can start to introduce new techniques, try new lubricants or add a few sex toys into the mix to really heat things up.

Play games to see who can hold out the longest. The person who comes first has to cook dinner/take out the bins/clean the bathroom (delete as applicable) as “punishment.”

Watch and Be Watched

Treating your lover to a private show can be super-hot for both of you. It’s fun to play with this and there are a few different ways you can go:

  • Shy and demure, touching yourself slowly. This builds anticipation for the viewer as they’ll want you to get to the ‘good bits’ now!
  • Direct and to the point. A fast, focused blink-and-you-miss-it moment is a horny treat for you both. This version amps up the heat and the viewer usually can’t wait to get stuck in and help out!
  • Treat them to a show they’ll never forget: lay out toys and lube, before playing with each in turn. Take yourself to the point of orgasm before a backing off. This will build the pressure in your genitals as well as in theirs…

If you feel shy or you’re worried it’s going to get awkward to rub one out in front of another person, we have another fun game to help break the ice. Rather than watching each other, you could turn off the lights and masturbate whilst laying down next to each other. Rather than watching each other, focus on the aural pleasure of it. Sighs and moans and wet sounds soon turn up the heat to boiling point!

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What is edging and why should I try it?

Our customers are always looking for fun ways of increasing both the quota and the intensity of their orgasms (aren’t we all!) and a brilliant way of doing this is ‘edging’.

Edging has been around for ages and has, until now, been particularly popular with the kink community. The practice of withholding orgasms, as well as forcing play partners or submissives to have one orgasm after another is a lot of fun and can add several degrees of heat to your play.

We’ve noticed an increasing amount of customers mentioning edging recently and it seems more and more people are tapping into the intense pleasure that a little self-denial can bring.

So, if you want to find out more about what edging is and why we think you should try it, then read on!

What exactly is edging?

Edging is the practice of delaying an orgasm for as long as possible to increase the intensity once you do finally let go and give into that wave of pure ecstasy.

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It does take a little restraint and practice at first, but many enjoy the delayed satisfaction that the final release gives during play times.

It also helps build stamina and prolongs intimate encounters for much longer, so that all parties can enjoy the experience.

Here are a few beginner tips on edging to help you get started.

Stop and start

The basics behind edging are taking short breaks between masturbation or penetration when you feel the heat in your nethers beginning to inch towards boiling point.

To start off with, you might want to practice during masturbation so you get used to the sensations of an orgasm building, and then holding back. It’ll take a few goes to get your timing right, especially of your orgasm sneaks up on you like a tipsy relative at a family gathering.

The secret to successful edging play is learning when to stop an orgasm from erupting, but at just the right moment so it doesn’t ruin that orgasm altogether…

Tricky?

Yes, a little bit.

If you want to delay your orgasm but not just stop dead, keep stimulating other parts of your body that love attention, like nipples or labia lips. Keep the excitement bubbling, but at a slightly lower heat.

When you feel the building orgasm fade a little, start stimulation of your clit or dick again. Build it up, but before the orgasm takes over, stop again.

Carry on for as long you can stand it, stopping and starting. There’ll come a point when the orgasm won’t be held back any longer and this is when you let go!

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If you are playing with a partner and want to give edging them a go, ask them to tell you when their orgasm begins to build. Slow down stimulation, and give them a 60-second massage or tease them with some hot french kissing for a while. When you feel they are ready, start your stimulation again. And then stop. Before long, they’ll be begging to climax!

Breathing

If you feel things starting to build up, take some deep breaths with your eyes closed to keep your orgasm at bay for a little longer.

Breathe from the bottom of your stomach and hold your breath for a few seconds until you feel the sensation retreating – once you’ve felt the sensation subside, you’re free to jump straight back in! Try altering your stimulation a little, variety adds spice. If you normally rub, try tapping or vice versa. If you stroke, try pumping instead…

Work your pelvic floor muscles

Building some strong pelvic floor muscles can really help when it comes to edging, and they’re also great for more intense orgasms if you work hard enough too!

These simple exercises can be done anywhere and work by using your pubococcygeus muscles (the muscles you use to stop urination) to delay orgasm and give you an intense rush when the moment finally comes.

To get started, sit somewhere comfortable for a few minutes and practice contracting the muscles that you’d normally use to stop urination mid-flow.

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Once you can isolate the pc muscle, it’s time to get serious with your pelvic floor exercising.

Start off with a 2-second squeeze-and-release before working your way up to 5-second squeezes. Once you’ve mastered that, try doing quick flicks.

All of these exercises will help you gain better control of your pelvic floor, which will in turn help bring on – or stave off – intensive orgasms.

Clench your pc muscle in time with your masturbation until you feel ready to orgasm, at which point you stop the stroking, rubbing and squeezing until you feel in control again. And then start again…

Enjoy!

 

 

Love-Wedding-Night-Blog-POst

Top sex tips for newlyweds

With the wedding of Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle set to take place on the 19th May, spirits are high among royalists and anyone who’s a sucker for romance, including us.

Being newlyweds is an aphrodisiac in itself and couples tend to live in their happy, loved-up bubble for weeks or even months after the honeymoon has ended.  But eventually, the daily grind comes knocking and the after-wedding come-down sets in. It’s not unusual for one or both parties to feel a little low and wonder what happens ‘next’.

Luckily for newlyweds everywhere, we have some experience with this. Check out our top tips for remaining steamy between the sheets long after saying ‘I do’.

Have open discussions about what you want

Hopefully you’ve already done this, but needs & desires evolve and change over time and it’s important to keep conversations about sex ongoing. Being open to trying new things and instilling a sense of togetherness in everything that you do works to strengthen the bond between you.

Whether it’s attending a sex class or shopping for toys, you’re in a partnership now, so play and enjoy as a pair. Sex classes are not only liberating and great fun, but also the perfect place for couples to learn new ways of giving and receiving pleasure.

Up the ante when it comes to erotic connection

We’re conditioned to think that “real” sex is p-i-v (penis in vagina) but it’s time to put the kaboosh on this old fashioned thinking. Sex is whatever you want it to be! It can certainly involve a penis or dildo in a vagina if that’s how you and your beau roll, but it can also mean that nothing is inserted into any orifices. Like, ever. And it’s still sex!

Focusing heavily on penetration leaves out a long list of other delicious activities such as mutual masturbation (watching your partner bring themselves to orgasm is super-hot), tickling (yep, some peeps get off on that) and phone sex to name a few.

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Make it your mission to grow the erotic side of your play. A strong erotic connection increases sexual tension and excitement, it builds feelings of intimacy, and this should never be overlooked.

‘Erotic’ means different things to different people, but usually includes lots of eye contact, gentle touching, lips travelling slowly over naked skin, and words whispered in the dark… Take your time and savour each experience.

Long make-out sessions keep the panty-fires on full blast, so leave the wham-bam-thank-you-mam’s for the occasions you really are short on time.

Make great sex a priority

There are gazillions of articles telling us how many times per week or month we “should” be having sex, but we think quality tops quantity every time. Isn’t having really great sex once or twice a month much better than having three or four lukewarm shags per week? Sex isn’t a competition so forget about keeping up with the Jones’s.

Juggling jobs, families and other commitments can mean that sex has to take a backseat from time to time and that’s ok, but don’t let it get stuck back there. Scheduling sex-dates might seem like a passion-killer, but clearing a couple of hours in your calendar for carnal pleasures is actually great fun.

Take it in turns to think up new scenarios, buy some sex toys or try seemingly impossible positions so the element of surprise is still there.

Stop counting how many times per week you have sex, and focus on the amount of pleasure you’re getting instead.

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Touch each other outside of the bedroom

It may sound obvious, but it’s important to remain tactile with your partner when you aren’t having sex. Focus on kissing and stroking each other, both of which will make you feel closer, more connected, and ensure that you enjoy a fiery sex life when you do get down to it.

Holding hands is romantic and sweet, and chaste pecks in public can  be crazy hot if you’re both looking forward to a long night in private later on.

Cheeky little gropes when no one is watching is sexy and keeps you both hungry for more. A sly snog in the kitchen whilst you are checking on the Sunday roast is a classic, as is gentle nibbles of the neck whilst your new spouse is on the phone to their boss…

Grab the moment when it comes, and make it count!

Play together

Marriage is about more than sex – obviously – but you’d be amazed how much ‘playing’ together in other areas will spice things up.

Camping, or glamping if hot water and hair dryer are on the must-have list, is in season and a night out under the stars offers plenty of opportunity for togetherness and turn-ons. Bring a bottle of fizz in a cooler and play never-have-I-ever had sex outdoors.

Long-haul flights are great for mile-high fun and a night on a ferry will rock you both in more ways that one. You could play one-for-one (one orgasm for you, one orgasm for me) on long car journeys, or book a night in a hotel and live out a 24-hour sex fantasy.

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As the saying goes; a couple that plays together, stays together.

 

 

Boost-Your-Orgasm-Blog-Post

5 Tips For Boosting Your Orgasm

There are different types of orgasms and bodies have the fantastic ability to experience different ones during a sexual lifetime. There are the great ones; you might know the kind – you can’t stay still, you’re wriggling and squirming, your legs are shaking until finally, an explosion erupts between your thighs and you’re left quivering and panting… We like those ones!

There are long & strong ones, there are short & sharp ones, cresting ones, wet ones, fast ones, multiple ones and also, the kind we like the least: the ones that are so weak you wonder why you even bothered. The last kind is pitiful little vaginal sneezes that leave you frustrated and disappointed rather than sleepy and satisfied. Blips on the orgasmic radar.

Luckily, there are a number of things that can be done in order to amp up the intensity and pleasure of orgasms, and we’ve got five of our top tips listed below.

Turn up the heat

Did you know that heat helps to increase the blood flow to the vulva, which in turn is great for stronger orgasms?

Relaxing in a hot, steamy bath before play is an excellent way of getting warmed up and ready for fun. A gentle stroke and feel of your labia lips whilst bathing will help kickstart blood flow to the area. You’ll know it’s working when warmth starts building from the inside, the labia lips darkens and feels “puffier”.

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Try using lube

Lube sometimes gets a bad rap; there are actually folks out there who still believe that lube is something “for old women”.

Bah!

Lube can certainly be helpful if your muffkin is feeling dehydrated or uncomfortable for some reason, but actually, lube is very sexy and we recommend having a bottle handy.

Certain lubes, like ID Pleasure, can help increase the frequency and power of female orgasms as it contains a naturally occurring amino acid which encourages blood flow to the area, heightening sensations. ID Pleasure combines natural sensation-enhancing ingredients like Ginko Biloba, Red Clover, and Menthol to ensure blood flow to genitals is at peak performance. For penises, this means firmer erections and for vaginas, it means tingly sensations.

Add a vibrator into the mix

For about 75% of those with clitorises, the clit plays a major part in orgasmic pleasure.

As much fun as fingers, tongues, and toes can be, it’s not uncommon for the person focused on pleasuring said clit to run out of steam or develop jaw ache at a crucial moment.

This is when a vibrator comes in really handy.

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For the majority, the key to strong, long-lasting orgasms is sustained clitoral stimulation. Pair this with the vibrations of a sex toy and you’re in for a thrilling ride. We like the Rocks Off Twister Vibrator, which comes with 7 different vibration settings, is fully waterproof and suits all bodies.

For a truly toe-curling time, start on the lowest setting and work your way up. As the strength of the vibrations builds, so will your pleasure… Which neatly brings us on to the next tip:

Edging

‘Edging’ is a fancy word for ‘holding back your orgasm for as long as you can’ and you should add it to your sex dictionary sharpish.

This is a tried & tested method that may take a while to perfect but once you’ve got the hang of it, you’ll be able to ‘edge’ your way to orgasm over and over until you have no other option but to let the orgasm rock your body before leaving you spent and grinning. Good times!

As you get to know your body and how it reacts to the right kind of stimulation, you’ll know when an orgasm is near. At this point, stop the rubbing/patting/touching that feels so good and focus on another body part for a while. (We know, frustrating, right?!)

Once you feel in control after having reversed back down the hump of pleasure, start edging yourself closer to the top again. And stop just before climax again.

Carry this on for as long as you can stand it and when you eventually let go, you’ll be able to enjoy what’ll seem like a neverending, thunderous orgasm!

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Find out exactly what you like

If you’re really keen to enhance your sex life and make your orgasms as strong as can be, you need to focus on finding out what it is that really gets you off. Before you get down to it with a partner, try experimenting with different techniques on yourself with your fingers or toys.

Having some uninterrupted time will help you relax into your body and allow it to enjoy your touches. If you’re into erotic stories or films, you might like to get your brain aroused by reading or watching something – after all, our brains are our biggest sex organs. If you want to try porn without having to trawl through the many free-but-oh-so-unsexy clips on the web, we recommend giving Erika Lust a go. Lust is an award-winning, ethical, adult film-maker and you can check out her website here.

Knowing your own body and working out your pleasure points is a sure fire way of experiencing more pleasurable orgasms.